so i was bored yesterday....

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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Wolverine
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Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Wolverine »

My neighbor has a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her "No," I was

starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd

ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost

50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out

of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it

works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one

or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete

so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now

enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition

because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting

in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard

as he staggered out the door.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Marie5656
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 10:10 am

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Marie5656 »

You are one sick puppy.

Funny, but sick. :sneaky:

If I were in line I would have been playing right along. Gullible people are ever so much fun to mess with.
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guppy
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so i was bored yesterday....

Post by guppy »

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl oh my gawd................
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buttercup
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 6:12 am

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by buttercup »

:yh_rotfl

we need you in my local shop
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Wolverine
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Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Wolverine »

especially here in Iowa. and definately during this time of year.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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guppy
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Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 5:49 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by guppy »

that's the best story i have heard in a while. you crack me up.........:wah: :wah: :wah: :wah:
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minks
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Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by minks »

You are a warped individual ahahahahahaha
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
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weber
Posts: 1821
Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:52 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by weber »

And to think you Wolf you that I had you high on my roll in the hay thread. :confused: I almost fell off my chair when I got to "licking my balls":D
miriam:yh_flower



Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.

.................Charles Mingus



http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
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Wolverine
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so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Wolverine »

weber;472170 wrote: And to think you Wolf you that I had you high on my roll in the hay thread. :confused: I almost fell off my chair when I got to "licking my balls":D


so.... what? i'm off the list? maybe we can compare techniques?:sneaky:


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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weber
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Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:52 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by weber »

Not off the list.....ooooh not....not at all.....see your other joke:yh_drool :D
miriam:yh_flower



Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.

.................Charles Mingus



http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
Saffron
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Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 2:33 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Saffron »

So funny, is that a true story?
Your Kitty Forum

My Website
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Sheryl
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:08 am

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Sheryl »

:wah:
"Girls are crazy! I'm not ever getting married, I can make my own sandwiches!"

my son
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cherandbuster
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Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by cherandbuster »

Wolfie :)

Excellent :guitarist

I give it a 9.7 :p
Live Life with

PASSION
!:guitarist





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Wolverine
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Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Wolverine »

cherandbuster;472290 wrote: Wolfie :)

Excellent :guitarist

I give it a 9.7 :p


Wow!

i'm gonna have to put that in the local paper.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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Wolverine
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Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Wolverine »

Saffron;472186 wrote: So funny, is that a true story?



yep. i was channeling Bill Engval, the "Here's your sign" redneck comic.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

Shweet tatersalad
Posts: 1061
Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:52 am

so i was bored yesterday....

Post by Shweet tatersalad »

It is a very funny story.

But no one thought it was that funny when I posted here a while back.
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