so i was bored yesterday....
so i was bored yesterday....
My neighbor has a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her "No," I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her "No," I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
You are one sick puppy.
Funny, but sick. :sneaky:
If I were in line I would have been playing right along. Gullible people are ever so much fun to mess with.
Funny, but sick. :sneaky:
If I were in line I would have been playing right along. Gullible people are ever so much fun to mess with.
so i was bored yesterday....
:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl oh my gawd................
so i was bored yesterday....
:yh_rotfl
we need you in my local shop
we need you in my local shop
so i was bored yesterday....
especially here in Iowa. and definately during this time of year.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
that's the best story i have heard in a while. you crack me up.........:wah: :wah: :wah: :wah:
so i was bored yesterday....
You are a warped individual ahahahahahaha
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
• Mae West
• Mae West
so i was bored yesterday....
And to think you Wolf you that I had you high on my roll in the hay thread.
I almost fell off my chair when I got to "licking my balls":D
miriam:yh_flower
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
so i was bored yesterday....
weber;472170 wrote: And to think you Wolf you that I had you high on my roll in the hay thread.
I almost fell off my chair when I got to "licking my balls":D
so.... what? i'm off the list? maybe we can compare techniques?:sneaky:
so.... what? i'm off the list? maybe we can compare techniques?:sneaky:
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
Not off the list.....ooooh not....not at all.....see your other joke:yh_drool 

miriam:yh_flower
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
so i was bored yesterday....
:wah:
"Girls are crazy! I'm not ever getting married, I can make my own sandwiches!"
my son
my son
- cherandbuster
- Posts: 8594
- Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am
so i was bored yesterday....
Wolfie
Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p

Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p
Live Life with
PASSION!:guitarist
PASSION!:guitarist
so i was bored yesterday....
cherandbuster;472290 wrote: Wolfie
Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p
Wow!
i'm gonna have to put that in the local paper.

Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p
Wow!
i'm gonna have to put that in the local paper.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
Saffron;472186 wrote: So funny, is that a true story?
yep. i was channeling Bill Engval, the "Here's your sign" redneck comic.
yep. i was channeling Bill Engval, the "Here's your sign" redneck comic.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
-
- Posts: 1061
- Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:52 am
so i was bored yesterday....
It is a very funny story.
But no one thought it was that funny when I posted here a while back.
But no one thought it was that funny when I posted here a while back.