so i was bored yesterday....
so i was bored yesterday....
My neighbor has a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her "No," I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.
			
			
									
									A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her "No," I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and I.V.s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting
in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard
as he staggered out the door.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
You are one sick puppy.
Funny, but sick. :sneaky:
If I were in line I would have been playing right along. Gullible people are ever so much fun to mess with.
			
			
									
									
						Funny, but sick. :sneaky:
If I were in line I would have been playing right along. Gullible people are ever so much fun to mess with.
so i was bored yesterday....
:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl oh my gawd................
			
			
									
									
						so i was bored yesterday....
:yh_rotfl 
we need you in my local shop
			
			
									
									
						we need you in my local shop
so i was bored yesterday....
especially here in Iowa.  and definately during this time of year.
			
			
									
									Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
that's the best story i have heard in a while. you crack me up.........:wah: :wah: :wah: :wah:
			
			
									
									
						so i was bored yesterday....
You are a warped individual ahahahahahaha
			
			
									
									�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.� 
• Mae West
						• Mae West
so i was bored yesterday....
And to think you Wolf you that I had you high on my roll in the hay thread. 
  I almost fell off my chair when I got to "licking my balls":D
			
			
									
									miriam:yh_flower 
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
						Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
so i was bored yesterday....
weber;472170 wrote: And to think you Wolf you that I had you high on my roll in the hay thread. 
  I almost fell off my chair when I got to "licking my balls":D
	
so.... what? i'm off the list? maybe we can compare techniques?:sneaky:
			
			
									
									so.... what? i'm off the list? maybe we can compare techniques?:sneaky:
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
Not off the list.....ooooh not....not at all.....see your other joke:yh_drool 
			
			
									
									miriam:yh_flower 
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
						Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
.................Charles Mingus
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
so i was bored yesterday....
:wah:
			
			
									
									"Girls are crazy! I'm not ever getting married, I can make my own sandwiches!"
my son
						my son
- cherandbuster
 - Posts: 8594
 - Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 11:33 am
 
so i was bored yesterday....
Wolfie  
 
Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p
			
			
									
									Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p
Live Life with                   
PASSION!:guitarist
						PASSION!:guitarist
so i was bored yesterday....
cherandbuster;472290 wrote: Wolfie  
 
Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p
	
Wow!
i'm gonna have to put that in the local paper.
			
			
									
									Excellent :guitarist
I give it a 9.7 :p
Wow!
i'm gonna have to put that in the local paper.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
so i was bored yesterday....
Saffron;472186 wrote: So funny, is that a true story? 
 
	
yep. i was channeling Bill Engval, the "Here's your sign" redneck comic.
			
			
									
									yep. i was channeling Bill Engval, the "Here's your sign" redneck comic.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
- 
				Shweet tatersalad
 - Posts: 1061
 - Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:52 am
 
so i was bored yesterday....
It is a very funny story.
But no one thought it was that funny when I posted here a while back.
			
			
									
									
						But no one thought it was that funny when I posted here a while back.