mrsK;756516 wrote: This is not intended to harm blondes in any way.
it is just a joke
A Blonde's Year in Review …
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water-skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm......
car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October
Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ..
instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven"
Button on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde
female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again,
opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
Carolly;756526 wrote: Hi Kinks me lovely mate heres somefing for you:wah:;)..............My prayer at night - :
Now I lay me.. Down to sleep I pray the Lord My shape to keep
Please no wrinkles Please no bags And please lift my butt Before it sags.
Please no age spots Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'
G#Gill;756534 wrote: As nobody seems to have noticed my little joke, I've repeated it for you
Loved those jokes :wah: i missed that one first time round Gill, glad you posted it again
kayleneaussie;756631 wrote: Well just got back from dropping Latesha off to her respite carer. Not happy with the placement:( Going to be hard to enjoy myself
Oh no chick......what's wrong with the placement?
I will just have to get drunk every day so I can sleep at night
