isn't prostitution a disgrace to female woman?

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SuzyB
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Post by SuzyB »

cinamin;553237 wrote: If a woman acts like a prostitute she'll be treated like one.

I had a conversation with a woman who had been "dating" a man who I was living with and left recently. I found out that he'd been paying for her to stay in a motel for 1 or 2 nights out of the week. I was so shocked. And when I asked her if she had been having sex with him her answer was "yes". And I inquired further about money and such and she said just as plain as day "oh he always paid for everything". It just sounded so dirty, as if she was a hooker. And since I didn't know about her past, I could assume that maybe at one time in her life she may have been. Considering that he was paying for her to be at a motel near where we lived. And it was in the section of town near the prostitution area where there were lots of motels and hotels and tourists. She'd been doing this with him for 6 years she told me.

Not for me.




That puts many women in that label then, I have many friends and even I have been treated by a guy before, just because a guy pays for a meal, does that mean if i have sex with him i'm a prostitute??!!! And vice versa if I treated a guy and he gave it up for me, does that make him a prostitute??!!!

Your comment which i've highlighted is basically a load of rubbish IMO, does everyone have to give you a CV of their life history for you to form a decent opinion of them.
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RedGlitter
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Post by RedGlitter »

The only thing I really see wrong with that is that it went on for 6 years! If he's putting her up at a motel for boning privileges only, she may as well be a common whore; she's not demanding quality treatment from him. My guess is this clown was a marrie dman and that's why all the motels and if I am right then she degraded herself and the man's wife. And he would be a disgrace. Perhaps that's another thread though...
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Post by AussiePam »

The later development of this thread prompts me to ask: Is a woman who becomes the mistress of one man (who may set her up and cover her expenses) to be considered morally the same as a woman who is prepared to sleep with all comers for money?
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

cinamin
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Post by cinamin »

RedGlitter;555486 wrote: The only thing I really see wrong with that is that it went on for 6 years! If he's putting her up at a motel for boning privileges only, she may as well be a common whore; she's not demanding quality treatment from him. My guess is this clown was a married man and that's why all the motels and if I am right then she degraded herself and the man's wife. And he would be a disgrace. Perhaps that's another thread though...


No he wasn't married.

That puts many women in that label then, I have many friends and even I have been treated by a guy before, just because a guy pays for a meal, does that mean if i have sex with him i'm a prostitute??!!! And vice versa if I treated a guy and he gave it up for me, does that make him a prostitute??!!!
No, because I've done it also.



Your comment which i've highlighted is basically a load of rubbish IMO, does everyone have to give you a CV of their life history for you to form a decent opinion of them.
Screw you, it isn't rubbish. I didn't need her life story in order to see what she was. He was paying for rooms for her at least once a week. And I didn't know he had been doing that.

And to be perfectly honest....I've paid for dinner or lunch also. And paid for other things as well while on a date.
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Post by cinamin »

AussiePam;555860 wrote: The later development of this thread prompts me to ask: Is a woman who becomes the mistress of one man (who may set her up and cover her expenses) to be considered morally the same as a woman who is prepared to sleep with all comers for money?


Are you referring to me?

Just for the record here....I'm not, and have never been a "mistress".:-5

And I shouldn't write this here, because before I know it, I'll be called a protitute or something of that sort.

I knew a man who was a very good friend of mine for several years. He was 63 and an Italian. He owned a few brothels in Elko Nevada. He had people running them, so he didn't have to be involved. And when he was younger he spend a lot of time at them. He had a lot of women working for him. And it was all legal. He called them his "girls". I never met any of them.

He had other very lucrative businesses also. He and his son and brother owned a tiling business. And they laid tile in homes. They bought and shipped their marble from Italy. He had relatives there. And it was rumored he had Mafia connections. And I guess that was how he was involved in the brothel business.

He died on a car crash about 10 years ago. I miss him. He was on his way out to one of the brothels that was being shut down by the authorities. And he fell asleep at the wheel and crashed.

I dont know why I decided to write this. But the thread about prostitution just got me thinking about him. He wanted to marry me, but my intuition said don't do it.
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isn't prostitution a disgrace to female woman?

Post by RedGlitter »

AussiePam;555860 wrote: The later development of this thread prompts me to ask: Is a woman who becomes the mistress of one man (who may set her up and cover her expenses) to be considered morally the same as a woman who is prepared to sleep with all comers for money?


The woman who sleeps with all comers (pun?) for cash is more respectable providing she is not willingly whoring with a married/committed man.

A mistress or woman who willingly sleeps with another woman's man is a threat to all women and is the lowest of the low.
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Post by AussiePam »

Cinamin, I was not referring to you. At all. I have found this thread very strange, altogether - cultural differences, probably. Thankyou for your answer, Red Glitter.
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Post by SuzyB »

SuzyB;555355 wrote:

Your comment which i've highlighted is basically a load of rubbish IMO, does everyone have to give you a CV of their life history for you to form a decent opinion of them.


cinamin;555864 wrote:

Screw you, it isn't rubbish. I didn't need her life story in order to see what she was. He was paying for rooms for her at least once a week. And I didn't know he had been doing that.




And put so nicely :D I just said in my opinion it was a load of rubbish that, because a person that you've just met doesn't give you the in's and out's of their history, that you could come to certain assumptions.

Unfortunatly when people mess around people do get hurt, your ex is the person who owed you loyalty, as far as we know she could of just thought he was single and was just enjoying her time with him not realising the hurt that it caused.

Still wouldn't class her as a prostitute.
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Post by RedGlitter »

AussiePam;556001 wrote: Cinamin, I was not referring to you. At all. I have found this thread very strange, altogether - cultural differences, probably. Thankyou for your answer, Red Glitter.


You're welcome, Pam. :)

I am aware that in other countries taking a mistress is an almost standard thing but I still think it's completely wrong and a disgrace to the wife.
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Post by SuzyB »

flopstock;556250 wrote: The world is full of hypocrites.


Don't I know it :wah: But I wouldn't class myself as one:D
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Post by Red »

flopstock;556317 wrote: .. And we all know that if you say 'no thanks' two nights in a row, you should make no plans to sleep night three..until he's done:sneaky: . ..


You mean we can say no? balls didnt know that! :wah:
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Post by Carl44 »

flopstock;556317 wrote: Any woman who has ever had sex in her marriage when she wasn't really in the mood - has prostituted herself, to keep the peace.. And we all know that if you say 'no thanks' two nights in a row, you should make no plans to sleep night three..until he's done:sneaky: . That's not making love... that's putting out with someone you aren't really interested in, so that you can then sleep and not have to listen to the complaints start.



And they know you aren't really interested in sex.. they just choose not to consider 'that' possibility unless you actually get up and throw something at them and tell them to leave you alone..:wah:



Sex in a marriage is used as a weapon to often to stay a sacred act of 'lovemaking'... if you don't want your partner finding relief somewhere else, you owe it to yourself and them to find ways to keep it fun and exciting yourselves..


how about an early night then sue :sneaky: :sneaky: the flopster is never wrong
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Post by YZGI »

flopstock;556317 wrote: Any woman who has ever had sex in her marriage when she wasn't really in the mood - has prostituted herself, to keep the peace.. And we all know that if you say 'no thanks' two nights in a row, you should make no plans to sleep night three..until he's done:sneaky: . That's not making love... that's putting out with someone you aren't really interested in, so that you can then sleep and not have to listen to the complaints start.



And they know you aren't really interested in sex.. they just choose not to consider 'that' possibility unless you actually get up and throw something at them and tell them to leave you alone..:wah:



Sex in a marriage is used as a weapon to often to stay a sacred act of 'lovemaking'... if you don't want your partner finding relief somewhere else, you owe it to yourself and them to find ways to keep it fun and exciting yourselves..
Yeah whats 2 minutes outta your life for your man?
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Post by SuzyB »

flopstock;556329 wrote: Or... she could just stand up and throw something at you..:wah:


Thats foreplay:D :sneaky:
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Post by YZGI »

oops That last post was supposed to say 20 minutes. I just missed the 0.
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Post by Elvira »

johnny depp lover;438820 wrote: i still think that it is horrible that some woman are out there having to make money that way:-1


What saddens me, is that there are enough men out there who have to pay for sex, to keep these women in the oldest profession!
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Post by Carl44 »

YZGI;556336 wrote: oops That last post was supposed to say 20 minutes. I just missed the 0.




dont worry mate she never reaches the big o , in two minutes christ mate i'm not doing it twice :wah:
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Post by YZGI »

jimbo;556345 wrote: dont worry mate she never reaches the big o , in two minutes christ mate i'm not doing it twice :wah:
Yup , know what you mean. We be gettin old eh?:cool:
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Post by SuzyB »

Pinky;556510 wrote: TMI!!!!

Jim, she's soooo gonna kill you!


Hey Pinks, i just ignore him, he's just never around when I do:D :sneaky: :wah:
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Post by YZGI »

jimbo;556345 wrote: dont worry mate she never reaches the big o , in two minutes christ mate i'm not doing it twice :wah:
My wife is lucky to get through A, E, I, let alone O or U. God forbid if she ocassioanly makes Y.
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Post by YZGI »

flopstock;556524 wrote: The trick dear is to cause a few of them before 'thumper' comes out to play...



play hard to get jimbo... refuse to 'put out' until she's willing to really let go..:sneaky: :D
Why doesnt it surprise me that the nickname for little jimbo is thumper?:D
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Post by Carl44 »

YZGI;556525 wrote: Why doesnt it surprise me that the nickname for little jimbo is thumper?:D




thumper was a rabbit too right :sneaky: :sneaky:
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Post by Carl44 »

Pinky;556516 wrote: :wah: :wah:

LMAO!!! Hehe!! That one really backfired on him!!!




er pinks are we talking about a pink donald trump,or do you want to rephrase again :wah:
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Post by laneybug »

I wouldn't want to work in a profession where you needed routine health checks because of your job. That would be a big message to me to back off from that kind of employment.

As for men or women going with married people. I don't care who they are or what their circumstances are. Their word might as well be good for nothing, since marriage is a commitment, a promise and isn't to be taken lightly. And why not come up with the balls big enough to be straight forward to their spouse and end it so they can move on and find someone who will really love them instead of being sneaky and going behind their backs. Why would anyone want to be with someone who could be that sneaky and hurtful to someone they professed to love?
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Post by Accountable »

magenta flame;608524 wrote: A couple of comments in this thread have me perplexed.



1. It's their choice.



2. It's a neccesary service.





WHY?



If it is this way then none of you guys would mind your six year old or 15 year old turning around to you and saying "when I grow up I'm going to be a sex worker"



So if it's a 'choice' and a 'service' to the community then all of you should be proud to have a girl doing this. am I right?
No, you're not. There are probably thousands of choices and hundreds of necessary services I'd rather not see anyone - particularly a friend or family member - make or provide. Just because it's legal doesn't make it desirable.
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Post by K.Snyder »

Accountable;608535 wrote: No, you're not. There are probably thousands of choices and hundreds of necessary services I'd rather not see anyone - particularly a friend or family member - make or provide. Just because it's legal doesn't make it desirable.


I believe that was her point...
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Post by laneybug »

magenta flame;608524 wrote: A couple of comments in this thread have me perplexed.

1. It's their choice.

2. It's a neccesary service.



WHY?

If it is this way then none of you guys would mind your six year old or 15 year old turning around to you and saying "when I grow up I'm going to be a sex worker"

So if it's a 'choice' and a 'service' to the community then all of you should be proud to have a girl doing this. am I right?


Right on magenta, I'm with you on this one. I'm so glad someone noted those two oddities of this conversation.

It is true that some women/men do make that choice to be sex workers of any kind. Not all are forced into it. Some genuinely enjoy it. How is beyond me, but that's not the issue.

As for being a necessary service, that's a huge stretch. If you wouldn't want a loved one or youngster being a sex worker than perhaps it's not as necessary as some would like to believe. It's no one's obligation to society to provide sexual services for people who wouldn't get it any other way.
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Post by RedGlitter »

Well, truthfully, it's no one's obligation to provide society with *any* service when you get right down to it. Nurses, doctors, vets, firemen, police, Red Cross, whatever. Who obligated them? They don't have to do it.

I'm getting irked by the "would you want your daughter to do this" stuff that keeps coming up. Is that what we're judging things by now? I can think of quite a few socially acceptable and even honorable things I wouldn't want my kid doing, if that's the case.

I have never liked stigma. All it is to me is someone's judgement upon another.
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Post by kazalala »

I think this a very difficult and complex subject to be just plain black or white, if its their choice ok, if not, that is sad. saying that, i dont think i would like my daughter choosing this profession, so double standards i spose! hmm still siting on the fence i think :wah:

Anway i just wanted to say as well... im a johnny Depp lover too!!!

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Post by RedGlitter »

magenta flame;609125 wrote: so in a nutshell you wouldn't mind your children being sex workers? The fact that you're comparing the above professions with prostitution is quite alarming. I'd like to know how you've come to that conclusion. what are the "so called honorable" professions you wouldn't like your child to do?


It's not alarming in the least. I suppose you're going to feel qualified to question my parenting skills next when I tell you that I would not object to my daughter working in a properly run legal brothel. A streetwalker? No. A stripper? No. But if she chose to rake in reams in a proper whorehouse, I would not have a huge objection because it's her own freaking choice and as long as it's done clean, I don't see what has to be so disrespectable about it.

How do I come to that conclusion?

Sex is a need. Where there's a need, there's a service to be provided. It doesn't require your approval to make it a bonafide service of society. Women have been f*cking for rent and other things since the beginning of time. Why shouldn't they get paid for it and why shouldn't they be able to do it in a clean safe environment instead of out rolling around among a bunch of broken beer bottles behind the Dempsey dumpster?!

So called honorable professions I would have a problem with:

military

police

government
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Post by kazalala »

RedGlitter;609145 wrote: It's not alarming in the least. I suppose you're going to feel qualified to question my parenting skills next when I tell you that I would not object to my daughter working in a properly run legal brothel. A streetwalker? No. A stripper? No. But if she chose to rake in reams in a proper whorehouse, I would not have a huge objection because it's her own freaking choice and as long as it's done clean, I don't see what has to be so disrespectable about it.

How do I come to that conclusion?

Sex is a need. Where there's a need, there's a service to be provided. It doesn't require your approval to make it a bonafide service of society. Women have been f*cking for rent and other things since the beginning of time. Why shouldn't they get paid for it and why shouldn't they be able to do it in a clean safe environment instead of out rolling around among a bunch of broken beer bottles behind the Dempsey dumpster?!

So called honorable professions I would have a problem with:

military

police

government


I'm not going to comment on this,, i just wanted to say,, Red I admire your honesty and oh i cant think of the word i mean,,, straight forwardness? The guts to say exactly what u think and mean,, regardless of what others may think. Respect.




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Post by crazygal »

Not read any of the comments above as I am in a good mood and don't wanna read any from anyone sticking up for these whores but yes, I agree with the title. :D
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Post by zinkyusa »

If someone chooses it freely it's their business. If someone is forced into to doing it against their will it's wrong IMO.

I would support legalizing, taxing and regulating it.
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Post by laneybug »

RedGlitter;609145 wrote: It's not alarming in the least. I suppose you're going to feel qualified to question my parenting skills next when I tell you that I would not object to my daughter working in a properly run legal brothel. A streetwalker? No. A stripper? No. But if she chose to rake in reams in a proper whorehouse, I would not have a huge objection because it's her own freaking choice and as long as it's done clean, I don't see what has to be so disrespectable about it.

How do I come to that conclusion?

Sex is a need. Where there's a need, there's a service to be provided. It doesn't require your approval to make it a bonafide service of society. Women have been f*cking for rent and other things since the beginning of time. Why shouldn't they get paid for it and why shouldn't they be able to do it in a clean safe environment instead of out rolling around among a bunch of broken beer bottles behind the Dempsey dumpster?!

So called honorable professions I would have a problem with:

military

police

government


The word "proper" and "whorehouse" just don't seem to go in the same sentence for me. I'd much rather my child work in the military/police/government than be considered a "whore."

As for sex being a need... no, it isn't really, in my opinion. Many people have given up sex altogether by their own choice and aren't sad about it. There are other people who are married and have both made the conscious choice not to have sex at all. There are many walks of life, including those who give sex as a service and those who don't have sex at all in their life and like it that way, so to say sex is a need I think is wrong. Unless you're of the Freudian way of thinking...
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Post by laneybug »

zinkyusa;609230 wrote: If someone chooses it freely it's their business. If someone is forced into to doing it against their will it's wrong IMO.

I would support legalizing, taxing and regulating it.


The fact of taxing and regulating a woman's body/sexuality (or man's) is disturbing to me. That's basically what you'd be doing since sex is completely inter-related to the personal body.

Honestly, I don't think sex and money should go together anyway. It should not need to be taxed, bought or sold.
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Post by RedGlitter »

laneybug;609259 wrote: The fact of taxing and regulating a woman's body/sexuality (or man's) is disturbing to me. That's basically what you'd be doing since sex is completely inter-related to the personal body.



I also disagree with taxation. Legalizing it, definitely, regulating, yes. Permitting the state or federal government to profit off a woman's body, NO.

Honestly, I don't think sex and money should go together anyway. It should not need to be taxed, bought or sold.


I think if love is involved, you're right. Of course.

But as for sex with strangers, it's not about feelings or intimate bonds or any of that; it's more a business deal. And I think it should be treated as such. She has something he wants, (sex) he has something she wants ($) so it's a (hopefully) fair transaction.

That's how I feel about proper brothels and even escort services. But when we get down to drug addled streetwalkers and runaways who have to sell themselves and lowdown pimps and sorry stuff like that, then I feel differently and I think it's just plain disgusting and sad. Nobody should sell their bodies because they "have" to.

Please don't mistake my posts to mean that I treat sex casually. I don't sleep around and for my own self, I couldn't be with a person whom I had no feelings for or who didn't feel the same about me. I'm not made that way and I offer no apology for it. I know a lot of other people see nothing wrong with one night stands and casual flings and that's fine for them. I don't really see anything wrong with it either.

For me though, it's not that easy. I'm giving that person the best of me. I'm giving him the part of myself that I don't give away casually. My love for him, my passion, my respect, my trust, my pride and my vulnerability...he's getting a piece of my soul. I want those same things from him in return. I have to know that it will mean something to him or I won't do it.

But getting back to sex for hire, if it's just a recreational thing for money, I think it's fine. People have casual sex with people they don't even like all the time, for all kinds of reasons. What's wrong with getting paid for it?

Sorry if that stuff above was too much info. I was just hoping to make it a little clearer where I'm coming from.

:cool:
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Post by laneybug »

I hear you loud and clear, RG. And I totally understand. Since I feel exactly as you do about sex, it's hard for me to swallow thinking of others as using it as a business transaction. I'm really not convinced that there are some people who naturally think of sex as merely recreational and "for sale." I wonder if the majority of people who feel that way do because of life circumstances. I think sex for sale cheapens a woman's body, and a man's. I don't think it really degrades the person, but degrades sexual intimacy, and that's why I don't think whores and brothels should be legal things. It shouldn't be a "service" and it shouldn't need to be "paid for." It should be with love and it gives me the creeps to think of people just having sex for the hell of it or to make money.

That's just my opinion, and the world will go on as it will, so I just try to stay out of the whole thing in general!
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Post by RedGlitter »

magenta flame;611626 wrote: So what is the going rate for a womans/girls anus, vagina and mouth?


Beats me, I don't work in a whorehouse to know.

Magenta, I know you're being rhetorical. And I accept that we disagree. As we often do! :wah: And I understand that for you personally, prostitution offends your sensibilities,but for curiosity's sake, I'd kinda like to know what it is about LETTING OTHER PEOPLE do it that offends you??
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Post by RedGlitter »

magenta flame;611706 wrote: my response to your comment is If it is a business transaction then we should be speaking of womens sexual organs etc, as a business discussion. Vagina anus and mouths of women should be spoken about as a commodity as an object. Lets talk business. and if it's okay that prostitution should be there as a business then no no one should be offended because we are only speaking of "products " to be bought and sold :)

Okay....I see then....



No it doesn't offend my sensiblities what ever gave you that idea.

Well, for one, your comment about whether or not we'd want our children to grow up and go into the business and whether or not we'd still be proud of them if they did.

I'm more interested in the societal issues of the matter



Society is made up of humans and humans are sexual beings...

I don't think it's a matter of 'allowing' others to do it. I believe it's more of a question as to why society allows this service in it's communities.

See....to me that indicates the presumption that prostitution's wrong.

Humans require human touch. I'm not talking requirement as in you'll die if you don't get it, but it has been proven by studies that infants who are held and touched a great deal will thrive while those who are not, won't. It's no different for an adult human being. There are people who, for any number of reasons, don't get that human connection in their lives, be it sexual or non-sexual. I won't pretend that an hour with a prostitute is a substitute for a real bond or for genuine caring, but it takes care of a person's sexual want. Why is that so bad? Why should someone be deprived of contact with another human being just because they're unfortunate enough to not be married or to have someone to be with?

I'm not dumb on this issue I've known many prostitutes. what I'd like to know is , why board members and people in society in general, have decided it's a legitimate "choice" and a trade that should be encouraged by regulation.



Why should it not be a choice? What I do with my body is my own business. If I want to share it, who has any right to stop me?

I do think it should be regulated (not taxed though) so people who take advantage of those services and the women who provide them will not end up catching and spreading disease; so birth control would be readily available, so the whores would have protection from crackpot johns who wanted to knock them around or otherwise harm them; and so it would be seen as more of a respectable business instead of an issue of social stigma.



Also don't just think about your own culture but of other cultures as well.

There are cultures in other world areas that are far more sexually liberated and freer than ours.

My question:

If prostitution were to stop altogether tommorow do you think it would effect you personally and in what way?


That depends on why it ceased. If it were legally abolished, it would represent another chink in the hard-won freedom of women to have control over their own bodies and their own sexuality. As a woman and a thinking human being, that would anger me deeply and it would put a chink in my potential daughter's right to exercise control over those things for herself as well because the decision would already have been made for her.

Aside from that, I can think of no other way that it would affect me.
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