Why can't men talk about sex???

theia · Post by **theia** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:33 am

As Betty said earlier in this thread, I think it's more an individual issue than a gender one. Some people feel comfortable talking publicly about sex and others prefer to talk privately about it. It's just a choice we make.

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:34 am

Hamster;503148 wrote: Bill I wasn't asking for vulgar and salacious gossip.....this thread says at the top "serious discussions only".

Ah. There are discussions, and discussions. What sort were you alluding to -

personal preferences, opinions on particular aspects, personal problems or

the problems of others, technical issues, aesthetics, ancient history,

perversions, statistics, materials, techniques - something else? I should think

that the prospect of getting a "serious discussion" is very low, in any case!

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:40 am

theia;503180 wrote: As Betty said earlier in this thread, I think it's more an individual issue than a gender one. Some people feel comfortable talking publicly about sex and others prefer to talk privately about it. It's just a choice we make.

I have never, ever - in a general social situation - heard people discussing "sex";

it seems to be something that just isn't done.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 3:48 pm

Diuretic;503436 wrote: Hammy - it's a damn good thread. I wouldn't worry too much about the odd spot of humour, after all this is sex we're talking about, not something deadly serious like footy

And there's a need for men to discuss sex mano a mano 1 as it were without thinking they're being propositioned by a gay mate. Here's a revelation from my past and one which is intensely embarrassing to me but which I will disclose in the interests of furthering the debate and validating my comments about the thread *

I had "the talk" from my father when I was about 12. But when I was 17, just finished school and was earning some money working in an industrial situation before entering my chosen career, I accidentally found out a lot more than my father had told me. I was listening to some jocular discussion by the tradesmen (they were all men) on the job concerning sex. I blurted out something really ignorant - ignorant in the sense of all the blokes stopped drinking their tea and looked at me, jaws dropping at the naive display of my ignorance and inexperience. The tradesman I was working with said to me, and I remember his exact words to this day, "......there's a couple of things I think you should know." And he then took me aside and explained a few details, withe the assistance of a piece of chalk and a wall. He quickly wiped the wall down after the lecture as the site was being populated by female employees of the firm and he didn't want the explicit diagrams to cause offence. I felt like a real dill. I had "the talk" but my poor dad couldn't bring himself to explain some of the -ah - "mechanics" of the female response and the role of the male partner in achieving that response. I am just glad the tradesman I worked with had the decency to explain it to me in a non-crude and non-condescending manner, it was some fairly basic stuff which saved me severe embarrassment on the commencement of my first sexual experience with someone other than myself.

1 - I do like cliches, I think they get bad publicity from literary snobs.

*Pompous git aren't I?:D
"I'm glad you found out where to put the chalk

" said Krammy on a serious note

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:15 pm

Diuretic;503436 wrote: I had "the talk" from my father when I was about 12.

Didn't you ask any questions before then?? Crikey. The Young Master, aged 5

and some days, asked (an evening or two back) "How do babies get out of

mummy's tummy?". Well, he knows the basics now. I am awaiting, with great

interest, and no particular hurry, for him to ask how they get *in*!!

IMO

very simple and accurate answers ought to be given. More will follow!

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:46 pm

Diuretic;503608 wrote: I always wondered why of all things a Nurse's Dictionary would have been left around for me to read when I was younger. But read it I did. And I absorbed all the gynaecological bits of course. My theoretical knowledge was good, my applied knowledge was abysmal. To be blunt Bill, I knew all about the results of bonking in terms of reproduction but I had very little knowledge about the finer points of bonking for pure pleasure and ensuring that my partner also received pleasure. I'm trying to be as delicate as possible here because my ego is still bruised after all these years, not out of the protection of sensibilities here, this is, after all, a robust forum.

just be proud someone took the time to tell ya.....:p

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:55 pm

Diuretic;503608 wrote: I had very little knowledge [...] about the finer points [...] for pure pleasure and ensuring that my partner also received pleasure.

Same as beginners the world over, IMO. I don't think your ego need be bruised,

everyone has to learn... if it was *all* taught by a third party, or book, it'd be

pretty mundane & mechanical, if you ask me. Learning "on the job", as it were,

getting/giving feedback, is all part of the "rich pattern of life", & the variety

that comes with it. Why, once upon a time, millions of years ago I took a girl out,

and... .

Apologies for any mis-edits ([...]) in your posts, and accidents in words. I must

go to bed, I've nudged my incisors with the rim of the bottle, and seem to need

to concentrate very carefully on triping creckly.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Tue Jan 02, 2007 9:33 pm

Diuretic;503731 wrote: And guppy I'm just relieved I got told while I was still a virgin.

Virgin. Somehow that doesn't seem appropriate for a male.

I think I feel about that the same way I do about "Spinster" for an un-married female. It makes my eyes water I dislike it so much.

But that is a very nice thought guppy, there is a positive side to it for sure.

it's esp positive for the lady in your life. di......

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:56 am

Diuretic;503848 wrote: I'm very modern in somethings guppy - she is too - very - I think if I used the term "spinster" to her I'd find myself dangling from a bridge somewhere

what a gal,,,,yall have an interesting form of foreplay.....:p

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 3:08 am

Magenta flame;503775 wrote: This is what happens sometimes When you tell your boys all about "IT" when they are really young. When my eldest boy was five he asked where babies came from. I was pretty frank with it all. And told him about when he's a man he'll have what's called an erection and it kinda feels like there is a bone in his penis etc. etc. he didnt' have the eeewwhhh factor at this age so all was well. ....................................UNTIL, about six months later in the supermarket! I was down the aisle a little away from him when I here this loud MUM ...MUU..UUMM ...I look around and in a great booming voice my young son says "I have a bone in my Penis can I make a baby now?"

Now after the initial shock of what he has just exclaimed to the entire supermarket, I looked at the elderly man standing next to him who's face has gone sooo red I fear he may about to have a heart attack and two women also in the aisle have swung around and with big grins on their faces and are now staring at me.

I knew what they were all thinking, "go on girly how are you going to handle this one"?...

So I replied to my son, "not yet mate, wait until you'rr big like daddy". Then I calmly walked off to the next aisle. I heard one woman clap quietly.

I'm saving that story up for his 21st birthday speech.:wah:

Fabulous!! I have tears in my eyes from laughing sooo much!!

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 3:51 am

Reminds me of when hubby and I went on hols with our daughter who was about 8 then. We were getting ready for bed and Becky was tucked up waiting for us to put the light out, she turned to me and said 'Mum, do you and dad do ess ee ex?' after a second or two in which the thoughts 'not while sharing a room with you' and 'how do I get out of this' crossed my mind I could only say 'Yes, darling or we wouldn't have had you' she accepted that and went to sleep, hubby hid in the bathroom for a while until he stopped laughing!

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 12:42 pm

Diuretic;503553 wrote: Oh I knew that bit, it was my obvious ignorance of how to actually chalk effectively that caused the jaws to drop. Jeez it can still make me blush just thinking about it

This is usually the point where Acc pops in to ask if that's a euphemism :wah:

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Jan 03, 2007 5:43 pm

is chalking the wall a form of euphomism? :-3

overlook bad sp...

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 11:06 am

Scrat;507249 wrote: Here's a question.

Is there a particular mood, circumstance when women find it easier to achieve orgasm? Does it make a difference in the state of a relationship? Say if its a one night stand or a commited relationship?

Is there a particular comfort zone where things just seem to work better in this area?

Your head has to be in the right place

ooops no! I don't mean that

Mentally I need to be in the right place. If I choose not to orgasm I can switch off.

To be honest if a woman can get herself to orgasm on her own she can generally show you how to take her there.

I think it's also different strokes for different folks :rolleyes: some women can orgasm at the drop of a hat, others need a loving relationship to be able to let go.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:51 pm

Scrat;507249 wrote: Here's a question.

Is there a particular mood, circumstance when women find it easier to achieve orgasm? Does it make a difference in the state of a relationship? Say if its a one night stand or a commited relationship?

Is there a particular comfort zone where things just seem to work better in this area?

Sometimes easier than others - depends on who I'm thinking about:sneaky:

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 2:33 pm

I never feel comfortable faking an orgasm :yh_giggle

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 2:53 pm

Magenta flame;507461 wrote: OH Kram.:wah: My husband husband did that to me. We were having a discussion about faking orgasm during sex one night. And after I thought we'd finished he started pissing himself laughing and told me I was wrong and couldn't tell ....end of discussion......so I promptly got out of bed, told him he's just done himself a disservice and I went and watched telly. he had to finish by himself.:wah: Did he fake that one as well?

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 3:17 pm

jesse b;507475 wrote: remember having a tug is making love to some one you truly love:D
That was almost poetic jesse

HelenA · Post by **HelenA** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 2:51 am

You know it's funny what kids think isn't it? i remember the thoughts I had when i was 4 - my mum had just got pregnant with my sister and I'd either asked or she'd told me "the facts of life". It didn't do much good though - all i could picture was mum and dad lying in bad and this worm thing crawling across from dad to mum!!! Well I kind of got there didn't I!!!

As for the orgasm thing - I'd say it generally has to be in a loving relationship.well for me anyway. And from my (fairly limited) experience blokes don't seem shy about asking for what they want - but I guess it's different when they're talking to their friends.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Jan 07, 2007 1:43 pm

Of course not :rolleyes: