What is Love?

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:42 pm

minks wrote: Oh I don't believe that for a second

If you love somebody you certainly do say sorry to them alot.

PS i'ts a well known Canadian trait

We're bloody sorry for everything

that is what makes us so unique we say sorry always. Almost embarassing.

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:45 pm

minks wrote: Oh I don't believe that for a second

If you love somebody you certainly do say sorry to them alot.

If you are not causing them harm, i say never say you're sorry, who wants to be taken advantage of? :-6

Sometime we may have to say "sorry" but not too often.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 12:58 pm

Paula wrote: If you are not causing them harm, i say never say you're sorry, who wants to be taken advantage of? :-6

Sometime we may have to say "sorry" but not too often.

But being sorry doesn't necessarily mean you caused them "harm"

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 1:26 pm

livnnlrnin wrote: Love is: Giving someone else the last piece of chocolate pie.

You have a good point, i would give it up (chocolate pie) for my husband, thats the way it is here... :-6

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:46 pm

minks wrote: Oh I don't believe that for a second.

If you love somebody you certainly do say sorry to them alot.

I agree with Paula. If people love each other then there is no scope of feeling or saying sorry. If people have to say sorry a lot then it is not love, it is an arrangement between benefit friends.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 5:08 am

If the path of my life had been different I might have been able to buy into the

Avoid women who are too driven aspect. Unfortunately, I never found a mate who was motivated, inspired, or enthused enough to go out and make a great living for his family. So I made a living, and still managed to put my family first.

Strving to love them, feed them well, provide them with a comfortable, and loving home... and teach them about all the wonderful things life has to offer. Tough row to how... And yet if I had it to do over.. Id do it all again. Accomplishing the most we can, every day is a gratifying way to live. It is the way we were meant to live, no matter what sex we are.

And I do agree... If you cant feel love, when your alone, you never will find it anywhere else. It takes some living to discover that for ourselves.

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 9:57 pm

Julie Grace wrote: Love is what you give someone. Love is what someone gives you.

That is the measure to use. Is the person giving you security or abuse?

Financial Freedom or Draining your Fiinances?

Giving you their devotion or sharing themselves with mulitple lovers?

If they are "talking" about what they will give you and you don't see the results they are giving you a fantasy.
So, love is give and take. A practical definition.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Dec 19, 2004 11:12 pm

I like the idea of having some guiding questions to ask yourself just to double check things until the relationship is an established, known quantity. It is easy to fall in "love" with the someone your suitor pretends/wants to be but things change after the first few months and you have to reassess if you really know who you are dating.

There are different degrees of love, I suppose. Love being with them, Love the way they make you feel, Love loving them, Don't know what you'd do without them, the list could go on. What are the different ways of loving? I've only made it to lower level phases before things fell apart. What is the progression as you have experienced it?

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 2:02 am

koan wrote: I like the idea of having some guiding questions to ask yourself just to double check things until the relationship is an established, known quantity. It is easy to fall in "love" with the someone your suitor pretends/wants to be but things change after the first few months and you have to reassess if you really know who you are dating.

There are different degrees of love, I suppose. Love being with them, Love the way they make you feel, Love loving them, Don't know what you'd do without them, the list could go on. What are the different ways of loving? I've only made it to lower level phases before things fell apart. What is the progression as you have experienced it?

Somehow I am getting a feeling that most of FG members treat love as a commodity. I may be wrong but love is something more than this.

A Karenina · Post by **A Karenina** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:03 am

The progression as I have experienced it?

Love being with a person.

Love things about a person.

Love what they offer me.

And finally to my own definition of love - bringing out the best in each other, truly caring about who they are and how they feel/grow/dream/live.

But I'm divorced so what the heck do I know? LOL

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:15 am

A Karenina,

Love correctly defined. But what do you mean by your last sentence? Are you limiting love between husband and wife only?

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:50 am

A Karenina wrote: The progression as I have experienced it?

Love being with a person.

Love things about a person.

Love what they offer me.

And finally to my own definition of love - bringing out the best in each other, truly caring about who they are and how they feel/grow/dream/live.

But I'm divorced so what the heck do I know? LOL

A Karenina: Your photos are beautiful...

A Karenina · Post by **A Karenina** » Mon Dec 20, 2004 8:09 pm

Thanks, Paula

I'm pretty proud of those kids!

Suresh, you are right. I was just being goofy with the last sentence in my post above. Certainly love is not limited or confined to one type of relationship.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 2:10 am

Karenina,

That last sentence cracked me up!

I identify. Despite my accomplishment in love for my fellow man and the love for my child I am somehow still caught feeling like I don't know what love is because my spousal/partner relationships have all failed. Even though I still hold love for the exs that have been honest and good people. In fact, I love just about everyone. So why do I think I am a failure at it?

There is a certain amount of rejection in failing a relationship even if I'm the one who ended it. It makes me wonder why I can't be loved. Then I have to think about the friends and people in my life who do love me even when I err, which is often, and just try to be more patient. Something I've established that I am not very good at.

A commodity. Hmmmm. Something of use, advantage or value. That is one definition of "commodity". I think love is of value, advantage and useful if one is trying to forgive. As an asset....some people study spiritual paths in order to feel more spiritual than those around them and some people may try to draw love to feel more lovable than those around them. We do tend to want to compare ourselves to the Jones' next door and compete for whatever we think defines success. Perhaps this is why so many relationships fail. But is it because we think love is a commodity/asset or because we are so busy trying to look successful we miss the point?

I recently rejected a man that puts all his energy into being perfect. He nearly fooled me too. I turned him down because I realized I was just a commodity to him. I never equated it with love but he claimed to love me. It seemed to me that he just loved the idea of having me as a kind of trophy to make him feel more successful. So I think your question is valid. While we were together he liked to brag about how he had the perfect woman. This might have made me feel good if the pressure to live up to it wasn't so immense.

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:39 am

Sometimes I feel that too much emphasis on saying that 'I love you' , 'I love you' ....... is the real reason for all the problems. Why do we feel that we have to keep on saying that I love you? What are we afraid of? Is it because we feel that if we don't repeat it the other person will feel that we do not love him or her?

You will be surprised that in conservative Indian families a husband might not have said 'I love you' to his wife even once. Will you say that he does not love his wife? If you want to see his love then watch him when the wife is not well. The agony his wife is going through could be seen on the face of the husband. This is love. And she knows it and she belives it. And the husband also knows that she knows it. The language of love is silent.

Let me give you another example of silent love. Almost every Indian wife prays to God that she should be the one to go first. She can not even think of living for a day without her husband. At the same time she is always worried about who will look after him when she is not there. This is love. I will end it here because I am getting sentimental.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 6:04 pm

I have a big problem with "I love you". In my childhood it was required to say it back...ABOLUTELY! Even if it was offered as an inappropriate response to the situation at hand. Someone is upset. "I love you" apparently was the way to resolve the problem. Also, since it is an expected response, "I love you" should be forbidden as an answer to the same comment. How can you express sincerity when you didn't say it first. But then what do you say in response? "Yadda yadda yadda, back at you". :yh_eyerol I generally just say "I'm so glad you love me." "That's very nice." or if told multiple times in a short time period " Do you need more attention from me?".

My concern with love is perhaps closely tied to my discomfort with the words "I love you." I agree with you, Suresh, show it. Words are nice but actions are way more important. I show I love but don't say it that often and people seem to think that is cold.

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 8:50 pm

koan wrote: I have a big problem with "I love you". In my childhood it was required to say it back...ABOLUTELY! Even if it was offered as an inappropriate response to the situation at hand. Someone is upset. "I love you" apparently was the way to resolve the problem. Also, since it is an expected response, "I love you" should be forbidden as an answer to the same comment. How can you express sincerity when you didn't say it first. But then what do you say in response? "Yadda yadda yadda, back at you". :yh_eyerol I generally just say "I'm so glad you love me." "That's very nice." or if told multiple times in a short time period " Do you need more attention from me?".

My concern with love is perhaps closely tied to my discomfort with the words "I love you." I agree with you, Suresh, show it. Words are nice but actions are way more important. I show I love but don't say it that often and people seem to think that is cold.

Well, all I know is that in my life recently I used "I love you" and it worked

really well.

My Mom has Alzheimer's, and I used to go take care of her sometimes to give

my Dad a break. It is very, very hard work. She would get agitated, and

restless, and very hard to deal with. But I found just saying the very simple,

basic "I love you Mom" worked wonders. She would be able to say it back

to me. And smile. And even if 10 minutes later I had to say it again, I did. And

it worked AGAIN. So I think "I love you" can be a very, very powerful phrase.

:-1

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:40 pm

Love is my sweetheart in England on internet to find out everything about the man who was going to do my heart surgery.and calling me every 15 minutes since my heart attack. love is my son driving many hours to get here and be of help to me at this time. love is all the phone calls, emails, flowers and care from my sheriff office and fellow deputies. wow, Christmas is love, because i did not even know it was Christmas these past days.

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Thu Dec 23, 2004 11:43 pm

lady cop wrote: Love is my sweetheart in England on internet to find out everything about the man who was going to do my heart surgery.and calling me every 15 minutes since my heart attack. love is my son driving many hours to get here and be of help to me at this time. love is all the phone calls, emails, flowers and care from my sheriff office and fellow deputies. wow, Christmas is love, because i did not even know it was Christmas these past days.
Yes, that is the beauty of love. It manifests in many forms in different situations. It gives you strength. It gives an opportunity to other people to uncover and discover themselves. Love is God and God is Love.

KittylovingBlond · Post by **KittylovingBlond** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 11:28 pm

Suresh Gupta wrote: Yes, that is the beauty of love. It manifests in many forms in different situations. It gives you strength. It gives an opportunity to other people to uncover and discover themselves. Love is God and God is Love.

Suresh...is that a popular name, or are you the one I sold the Nissan to?

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Sun Apr 03, 2005 12:29 am

KittylovingBlond wrote: Suresh...is that a popular name, or are you the one I sold the Nissan to?

Yes, it is a popular name. Its meaning is God of Gods. But what is this Nissan you are talking about?

Suresh Gupta · Post by **Suresh Gupta** » Sun Apr 03, 2005 10:09 am

February_Stormz wrote: Love means so many different things to everyone from all walks of life.

To me....

Love is what will save the world when all else fails.

There is love, hope and faith; and the greatest of these is Love.

A loving heart is the truest wisdom...

Where there is love, there is God.

My greatest love is for my husband and child. :-6

You are so right.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:27 pm

to look at something & be totally vunerable

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 4:06 am

love is what i have with my boyfriend

its bliss, sheer happiness, an understanding at a level that i could never have dreamt of, an all consuming feeling that is the most powerful thing that i will ever experience

:-4

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Tue Apr 05, 2005 2:01 pm

Did I hear someone say "a warm puppy"? :-3

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 11:05 am

As the late great John Lennon said in his song of the same title,

"Love is you....love is me....

Love is knowing, we can be....."

:-6

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Mon Apr 25, 2005 9:21 am

Love is when my husband had both of his hands in plaster and I had to wipe his arse :yh_sick

NOW THAT IS LOVE

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Apr 25, 2005 9:30 am

He He.

Who was it worse for?? You or Him!!! :wah:

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 9:12 am

Betty Boop wrote: He He.

Who was it worse for?? You or Him!!! :wah:

oh he hasn't got an embarrassed bone in his body...so I'd say me :wah: