Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I think it's ok to say penis over here!!

:-3
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

As poor monkey cries and cries

She get glitter in her eyes

Started yellin'

Keep the swellin'

Forget what they say about size
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The crowds were coming unglued,

As Monkeys strength was renewed,

Then they decided,

That they were misguided,

They needed to take time for food!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

With passion fruit and mango juice

Again the couple lit the fuse

Bounded back inside the hut

For a little monkey butt

Jungle fever's on the loose!
User avatar
abbey
Posts: 15069
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:00 pm

Monkey

Post by abbey »







Poor monkey's banana got broke,

So silly for missing the stroke,

It's starting to peel,

I'm begining to feel,

That i am going to choke........

....With laughter, thanks for making me laugh guys xoxoxo:-4
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

abbey wrote:





Poor monkey's banana got broke,

So silly for missing the stroke,

It's starting to peel,

I'm begining to feel,

That i am going to choke........

....With laughter, thanks for making me laugh guys xoxoxo:-4


:yh_monkey ...funnnnnieeee...not!!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

abbey wrote:





Poor monkey's banana got broke,

So silly for missing the stroke,

It's starting to peel,

I'm begining to feel,

That i am going to choke........

....With laughter, thanks for making me laugh guys xoxoxo:-4


YESSSSSSSSSS, Funny Abbey!!! You Go Girl!!

:wah:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: With passion fruit and mango juice

Again the couple lit the fuse

Bounded back inside the hut

For a little monkey butt

Jungle fever's on the loose!


That jungle fever's contagious,

I'm feeling sort of outrageous,

Let's take a trip,

And go skinny dip,

Best get me, while I'm corageous!!

Attached files
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Our Abbey is starting to choke!!

Quick, find her a handsome young bloke,

His eyes should be kind,

With a tight lil' behind,

Come Abbey, give him a stroke!!

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkies shacked up in a hotel suite

Want lots to drink, lots to eat

Room service

Gettin' nervous

Monkies ain't known for being neat
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: That jungle fever's contagious,

I'm feeling sort of outrageous,

Let's take a trip,

And go skinny dip,

Best get me, while I'm corageous!!


I can see by your neat little bush

That you'd soon turn my mind to moosh

Better dip quick

Or it'll be a trick

And shove will soon come to push
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: I can see by your neat little bush

That you'd soon turn my mind to moosh

Better dip quick

Or it'll be a trick

And shove will soon come to push


oooooOOOOOooo how yummy!! :-4
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: I can see by your neat little bush

That you'd soon turn my mind to moosh

Better dip quick

Or it'll be a trick

And shove will soon come to push


Dear sir you are very risque! :-5

I'm shocked at such a display! :sneaky:

Please be discrete, :lips:

And not so offbeat, :cool:

You're turning my blonde hair to grey!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

The bush was to the left and back

That wasn't a frontal attack

But if your eyes are blinkin'

It shows you're thinkin'

Is 'off beat' the reverse of whacked?
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: The bush was to the left and back

That wasn't a frontal attack

But if your eyes are blinkin'

It shows you're thinkin'

Is 'off beat' the reverse of whacked?


Yes dear, I know that you're whacked,

Your poor little mind is cracked,

You still make me smile,

So it's all worthwhile,

I'll try not to over react.

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Yes dear, I know that you're whacked,

Your poor little mind is cracked,

You still make me smile,

So it's all worthwhile,

I'll try not to over react.
b-b-b-baby can you shift some of that around

Move a few of those pounds

Or I'll use up an hour

Just to sprinkle with flour

So the wet spot can be found
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Ewwwwwwwwwww

GROSS

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: b-b-b-baby can you shift some of that around

Move a few of those pounds

Or I'll use up an hour

Just to sprinkle with flour

So the wet spot can be found


I love you - I love you I do,

But sometimes I just misconstrue,

Where perversity ends

And your little mind bends,

I'll never be as GROSS as YOU!!!



(sorry--could NOT leave it as 666 posts)
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Perversity can be mind bending

But MY mind I won't be defending

As for you

And your little ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Who knows what you'll find offending

just this morning you told me to lick my butt!!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

My sweetie I'd rather not fight,

You're always such a delight,

You're naughty and witty,

Loving and gritty,

My passions you surely ignite!!

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

ok:-4
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Everyone please excuse

While we get to work on this fuse

Once it's lit

We may be gone for a bit

This chance I don't want to loose
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Of love and romance you're the king,

You certainly know how to swing,

I'm weak in the knees,

So now if you please,

Let's see that engagement ring!!

:-4
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Now Sammy is waiting to see,

If 4rum will take off and flee,

Watch for the bling,

It carries a sting,

Don't worry, it's just lil' ol' me!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Now Sammy is waiting to see,

If 4rum will take off and flee,

Watch for the bling,

It carries a sting,

Don't worry, it's just lil' ol' me!!


There ya go... two whole carrots

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I'll take it . . .:-4

(nibble nibble!!!)
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Ol' monkey awoke from a dream

An' boy was our monkey steamed

Dreamed he went swimmin'

With butt naked wimmin'

Awakened all wet from the 'stream':rolleyes:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

My dear, you typed a great rhyme,

The rhythm was simply devine,

Of monkey take care,

and if you dare,

I'd like to make that monkey shine!!
User avatar
Nomad
Posts: 25864
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:36 am

Monkey

Post by Nomad »

I do like monkies :-6
I AM AWESOME MAN
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Nomad the gonad is here!

It seems like it took you a year,

If it's monkies you fancy,

We've got one named Nancy,

She'll do what you ask for a beer!

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

In case I've forgotten to mention

Monkeys love lots of attention

They're all the time buggin'

For kissin' an' huggin'

'Cause lovin' relieves all their tention :D
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey's back from abroad,

She found a new beau named Claude,

She learned tantric sex,

So now what is next?

Her talents leave all the men awed.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

I think what they're feeling is 'odd'

Just by seeing her 'new' bod

Colgen lips

And liposucked hips

Leave them suspecting a fraud
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Do men really CARE if they're real?

As long as they can cop a feel?

How can they tell,

Natural from gel,

As long as they aren't made of steel.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

'Men' is a general term

'Women' need to learn

Not all are the same

To think so is lame

On this point you will find me 'firm'
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

YOU are way above par,

You surpass the average by far,

You know I'm a tease,

So have at me please,

I'll wait for you down at the bar!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

My hopes are now totally dashed!!

Down by the bar I got trashed,

When he didn't come,

I had me some rum,

I stood up to leave and I crashed!!



hoooooo hummmmmmmm
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

And so it seems, such is life

With missed opportunity I am rife

Unavoidably detained

Her ire I have gained

Her "ho-hum" cuts like a knife
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

I'd certainly have been here quicker

To stave off this onset of 'likker'

But now that she's tipsy

I wonder if she

Can be coaxed from those cute little knickers :yh_devil
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

My Knickers are gone--OH MY

What does this loss imply?

I hope I had fun,

When it was all done,

But who put this bow on my thigh??

:-2
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: My Knickers are gone--OH MY

What does this loss imply?

I hope I had fun,

When it was all done,

But who put this bow on my thigh??

:-2


Honey... that ain't no bow

It's the strings of my heart don't you know

I left them in payment

For taking your raiment

An' a lil' sumpin' sumpin' to go:sneaky:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

What was it you took "to go"

I think I've a right to know,

If you need more,

It won't be a chore,

I'll give you your very own bow.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: YOU are way above par,

You surpass the average by far,

You know I'm a tease,

So have at me please,

I'll wait for you down at the bar!!


I only took what you flaunted

And left what I thought you wanted

'Possessing' your nooky

Was kind of spooky

Got the feeling you've been haunted?:sneaky:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey was using his 'puter

To download pictures of hooters

He didn't pay

So you could say

He was a 'puter hooter looter
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Poor Monkey filled up all his RAM,

With hooters and tooters and spam,

He needs a new board,

For all he has stored,

And now he wants a web cam.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

SHOOT!..............wish I'd a thought of that one :D
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Poor ol' monkey up half the night

Couldn't pull away from his favorite porn site

'Long toward dawn

Brain cells gone

PC crashed from giga bytes
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

That web cam came in really "handy"

That monkey is really a dandy,

With live video

He put on a show,

Hooked up with a chimp name of Mandy!

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I am going to learn how to dance,

I hope it will lead to romance,

The tango, the cha cha

I'll be your muchacha,

You willing to give me a glance?

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I am going to learn how to dance,

I hope it will lead to romance,

The tango, the cha cha

I'll be your muchacha,

You willing to give me a glance?


Well I might at that if it's slow

But you didn't mention limbo

I'd drop the bar

To see how far

You'd really be willing to go
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