Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The twins are dukin' it out,

Miss Monkey is havin' a pout,

Samantha is bored,

She feels sooooo ignored,

So she'll give 4rum a shout!!

YooHoo. . . 4rum Sweetie. . .. wanna play???

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: The twins are dukin' it out,

Miss Monkey is havin' a pout,

Samantha is bored,

She feels sooooo ignored,

So she'll give 4rum a shout!!

YooHoo. . . 4rum Sweetie. . .. wanna play???


Sweetie if you're in the notion

Let' put this 'play' into motion

You know what I like

You just bring 'yikes'

I'll bring the 'motion lotion'
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Being broke and very annoyed

With new idea monkey toyed

He made the decision

To seek a position

And become gainfully employed

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

HEY... now this looks exciting

He'll try some bareback riding

Yippie ti yi yo

He'll try rodeo

If his 'steed' can just stop that biting

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Sweetie if you're in the notion

Let' put this 'play' into motion

You know what I like

You just bring 'yikes'

I'll bring the 'motion lotion'


It's going to be a good day,

We'll start it out with some play,

Rub me with myrrh,

You'll hear me purr,

I'll do whatever you say.

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: HEY... now this looks exciting

He'll try some bareback riding

Yippie ti yi yo

He'll try rodeo

If his 'steed' can just stop that biting


I think that Monkey's a phoney,

He thinks he's riding pony!!

He ain't got a clue,

On what he should do,

He's TOTALLY full of baloney!!

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I think that Monkey's a phoney,

He thinks he's riding pony!!

He ain't got a clue,

On what he should do,

He's TOTALLY full of baloney!!


:yh_rotfl :wah: :-2 :yh_rotfl
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

The Rodeo fired monkies a$$

Caught him with the owners lass

Up he knocked 'er

But the doctor

Misdiagnosed simple gas

(click image to enlarge)

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Pooor Monkey, is back on the street,

He has an appropriate beat,

He must dance and sing,

A quarter 'twill bring,

As long as his "willie's" discreet!!

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: It's going to be a good day,

We'll start it out with some play,

Rub me with myrrh,

You'll hear me purr,

I'll do whatever you say.


My what a nice proposition

It 'heightens' my condition

Rub me with spam

Right from the can

I'll slip in my submission
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Pooor Monkey, is back on the street,

He has an appropriate beat,

He must dance and sing,

A quarter 'twill bring,

As long as his "willie's" discreet!!


Now sweetie you know that that's silly

Monkey's willy is willy-nilly

He has no control

Playing's his goal

His willy is known as a dilly

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: My what a nice proposition

It 'heightens' my condition

Rub me with spam

Right from the can

I'll slip in my submission


A rub down with spam it will be,

Just lets not get any on me,

The dogs I'll then call,

They'll have a ball,

They'll think you're a delicacy!!

:D
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Now sweetie you know that that's silly

Monkey's willy is willy-nilly

He has no control

Playing's his goal

His willy is known as a dilly


He thinks his willy's a dilly????????

Now THAT is what really silly,

Miss Monkey told me,

He measured just three,

That is practically nilly!

:wah:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: He thinks his willy's a dilly????????

Now THAT is what really silly,

Miss Monkey told me,

He measured just three,

That is practically nilly!

:wah:


Again you've been steered from the true

You've let that evil wench get to you

If size is relevant

He's hung like an elephant

Three inches ain't so bad if its THROUGH!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Again you've been steered from the true

You've let that evil wench get to you

If size is relevant

He's hung like an elephant

Three inches ain't so bad if its THROUGH!


So. . . how do YOU know of his size?

Have you seen it with your own eyes?

I then must surmise,

That he wears a disguise,

On THIS Miss M seldom lies.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: So. . . how do YOU know of his size?

Have you seen it with your own eyes?

I then must surmise,

That he wears a disguise,

On THIS Miss M seldom lies.


Dear Samantha;

You need not be contrary

Over our friend so hairy

The size of his bone

Is WIDELY known

In fact it's ledendary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Dear Samantha;

You need not be contrary

Over our friend so hairy

The size of his bone

Is WIDELY known

In fact it's ledendary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I told Miss M what you said,

She found something under his bed,

It seems that our Monkey,

Likes to get funky,

This gadget made my face red!!

:yh_questn
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I told Miss M what you said,

She found something under his bed,

It seems that our Monkey,

Likes to get funky,

This gadget made my face red!!

:yh_questn


Oh my, now this IS a disaster

It's really a flabbergaster

Nosing around

Mz. M. found

Samantha's hidden thigh-master:eek:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Oh my, now this IS a disaster

It's really a flabbergaster

Nosing around

Mz. M. found

Samantha's hidden thigh-master:eek:


Yes I once had a thigh master

T'was certainly not a disaster

My legs they could squeeze,

Keep you 'tween my knees,

How's THAT for a flabbergaster??

:D
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Yes I once had a thigh master

T'was certainly not a disaster

My legs they could squeeze,

Keep you 'tween my knees,

How's THAT for a flabbergaster??

:D


Weeelllllll.....................nooowwwwww...I don't like to boast

Least ways not like most

But bring 'em thighs

Try 'em on fer size

We'll see how long they stay closed
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Samantha is ready to cruise,

What have you got to lose,

Don't be a drag,

Go pack your bag,

Dear 4rum, please don't refuse!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

They busted Chuclkes and Hope,

Seems they were smoking some dope,

"Twas parlsey" they lied,

Their Monkey brains fried,

Miss M's at the end of her rope!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Samantha is ready to cruise,

What have you got to lose,

Don't be a drag,

Go pack your bag,

Dear 4rum, please don't refuse!


Sweetie, how could I not???

With all the goodies you got

Cruise you say

I'm on my way

An' boy am I hot to trot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: They busted Chuclkes and Hope,

Seems they were smoking some dope,

"Twas parlsey" they lied,

Their Monkey brains fried,

Miss M's at the end of her rope!!


A rope made of hemp I bet

You don't see the light as yet

Ms. M. ain't no saint

You see her as quaint

But she is as gassed as they get

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Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: A rope made of hemp I bet

You don't see the light as yet

Ms. M. ain't no saint

You see her as quaint

But she is as gassed as they get


Things are becoming quite clear,

Her interest in gardening seemed queer!!

The plants that she liked

Had leaves the were spiked

I'll kick her into next year!!!

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Sweetie, how could I not???

With all the goodies you got

Cruise you say

I'm on my way

An' boy am I hot to trot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Let's leave all the monkeys in jail,

While we pack our bags and set sail,

We'll stop off in France

And have us a dance,

Then set sail on to Farthingdale.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Let's leave all the monkeys in jail,

While we pack our bags and set sail,

We'll stop off in France

And have us a dance,

Then set sail on to Farthingdale.


FARTHINGDALE???:yh_rotfl

Sweetie I don't have a clue

But I'd go anywhere with you

France or Spain

A walk in the rain

Your arm in mine, just we two:-4
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: FARTHINGDALE???:yh_rotfl


HEY, you said you could make up words in limericks!!! So bite me!

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: FARTHINGDALE???:yh_rotfl

Sweetie I don't have a clue

But I'd go anywhere with you

France or Spain

A walk in the rain

Your arm in mine, just we two:-4


I got us a room with a view,

Now I don't know what to do,

I'm timid and shy

And I don't know why,

Am I finally alone with you?
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: HEY, you said you could make up words in limericks!!! So bite me!


....wont' bite... may nibble a little... if I can stop laughing long enough :wah:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I got us a room with a view,

Now I don't know what to do,

I'm timid and shy

And I don't know why,

Am I finally alone with you?


Alone and the shades are drawn

We'll pet till your shyness is gone

No other view

Can match that of you

So hush now, we'll cuddle till dawn :yh_flower
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Alone and the shades are drawn

We'll pet till your shyness is gone

No other view

Can match that of you

So hush now, we'll cuddle till dawn :yh_flower


Oh My!!

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Samantha wrote: Oh My!!


Wake up, wake up and hear,

The birds are singing so clear,

A sweet symphony,

To our harmony,

A mem'ry I'll hold to me dear.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I hear strange sounds at our door!!

It's something I just can't ignore,

A rat-a-tat-tat. . .

Do you have a cat?

Please check my love, I implore!!

:-4
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

It's monkey.... sigh... kit, bag and baggage

Seems his rent is sort of in laggage

He's been evicted

On his butt kickted

His little heart is deep in saggage

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: It's monkey.... sigh... kit, bag and baggage

Seems his rent is sort of in laggage

He's been evicted

On his butt kickted

His little heart is deep in saggage


and YOU complained about Farthingdale??

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: It's monkey.... sigh... kit, bag and baggage

Seems his rent is sort of in laggage

He's been evicted

On his butt kickted

His little heart is deep in saggage


Deep in "saggage" by assage!!

Don't you give him free passage,

He's been selling dope,

With Chuckles and Hope,

Make sure there's no dope in his baggage.

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Deep in "saggage" by assage!!

Don't you give him free passage,

He's been selling dope,

With Chuckles and Hope,

Make sure there's no dope in his baggage.


At parties he might smoke or smell it

But Monkey would never sell it

No damnation

For recreation

On this point he is a zealot
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: At parties he might smoke or smell it

But Monkey would never sell it

No damnation

For recreation

On this point he is a zealot


I'm glad you're so trusting of him,

But MY expectations are grim,

He's out on our stoop,

Flinging his poop,

I'll rip him from limb, to limb!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I'm glad you're so trusting of him,

But MY expectations are grim,

He's out on our stoop,

Flinging his poop,

I'll rip him from limb, to limb!!


Sigh... his libido is all akimbo

Not that unusual for him though

If YOU had to look

At this knock of nook

You'd see his aversion to bimbo's

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Sigh... his libido is all akimbo

Not that unusual for him though

If YOU had to look

At this knock of nook

You'd see his aversion to bimbo's


His libido is right off the charts

So is the smell of his farts

I will NOT look

At his knock of the nook

I'm busy with MY sweetheart.

:-4
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Shhhhhhhhhh... I'll just close the door

There's passions we need to explore

Feelings reviewed

Pleasures renewed

You'll not be left wanting for more

:yh_flower
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Shhhhhhhhhh... I'll just close the door

There's passions we need to explore

Feelings reviewed

Pleasures renewed

You'll not be left wanting for more

:yh_flower


sigh!! (and all the readers go :yh_sick)
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The tribe is now out of jail,

Seems Monkey posted their bail,

They're header out west,

On some sort of quest,

In search of the Great Monkey Grail!!

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: His libido is right off the charts

So is the smell of his farts

I will NOT look

At his knock of the nook

I'm busy with MY sweetheart.

:-4


sigh!! (and all the readers go )

So I take it romance is out?

Bodily functions are what you're about

Seems rather tacky

Maybe some lacky

Will join you to 'work something out'
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey needed a break

So he's decided to take

A ride into space

ALONE in solace

His poor little brain is at stake

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: sigh!! (and all the readers go )

So I take it romance is out?

Bodily functions are what you're about

Seems rather tacky

Maybe some lacky

Will join you to 'work something out'


Romance was never in doubt,

Sometimes I just like to pout,

Let's go for a stroll

On a quiet atoll,

Then go for a swim, clothing out!

:-4
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey's in absolute elation

With his stellar vacation

Away from 'Big Blue'

In a room with a view

With a cooler FULL of libation

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

you sure that's a monkey in that suit? Looks like a hippo to me!!

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_hypno :yh_hypno
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: you sure that's a monkey in that suit? Looks like a hippo to me!!

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_hypno :yh_hypno


I'm sure.
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