Ask Wolvie... everything

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages. Degeneration X proudly brings to you its Largest member.... me.

Yes folks, it is finally here. after endless prompting from Gardeners of the Female persuasion i have decided to start an Ask Wolvie thread. but there is a twist. you get to ask Everything! so long as you all understand that i am the world' biggest, oldest, and hairiest 10 year old, we'll all get along fine.

so without further ado.... ask away!!


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

Please describe your "mattress dance of happiness" in detail? :D
Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

What's the sneakiest thing you have ever pulled on someone? :sneaky:
Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

How would you set the mood for a romantic night with a woman? :)
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: Please describe your "mattress dance of happiness" in detail? :D
unfortunately, words do not exist to describe the "Dance." To fully understand you must be shown in person.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: What's the sneakiest thing you have ever pulled on someone? :sneaky: i guess this would be considered mean, not sneaky...

back in HS was kid named Scott S. a real jackass. especially mean to the girls.

so I rounded up a couple of buddies and went out to the parking lot to his car.

5 of us grabbed a hold of his 1988 VW rabbit and walked it from on side of the lot to the other.

we picked the lock, put the car on blocks, put all the tires inside, thrwe the lug nuts away in the grass. put flower and chili powder in the air vents and lock the doors back up.

he spent hours putting everything back together. and weeks complaining of a reaction evertime he turned on the air or defrost.

Damn, that was fun.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

JAB wrote: When was the last time (if ever) you lied and why?
you suck.

i was 21. the girl i was seeing had slept with someone else a few days before. she didn't yet know i knew about it. i took her to dinner one night and told her that i didn't love her anymore. that i was too immature to be in a relationship with her and the thought of spending the restof my life with her scared the Hell out of me.

she broke down and told me about the indescrition, i told her i already knew and didn't care. then i broke down and walked out.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

If you were in charge of picking out signature lines for us gardeners....what would you give to me? :o
User avatar
AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by AussiePam »

Fhildren of all ages...???

I know someone who arranged for the volkswagen of some unpopular teacher to be placed literally up a gumtree in the middle of the school playground.
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

What's the best pick up line that you have ever used on a woman and they fell for it?
User avatar
AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by AussiePam »

Gosh Basco. That's really putting the poor bloke on a spot!! Wonder what he'd pick for me???
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

AussiePam wrote: Gosh Basco. That's really putting the poor bloke on a spot!! Wonder what he'd pick for me???
So...we shall ask him.....got a signature line that's fit for AussiePam? :D
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

JAB wrote: What's the nicest thing anyone's ever done to you?


the one that comes to mind is Floopy. i was new to the Garden, but had made an impression on her. Dirty minds think alike i guess. I had just purchased my first home. She sent me a house warming gift. she didn't even know me, but went out, spent a good deal on the gift and mailed it off.

and there's Ben&Nicki, my best friends. the woman i was engaged to left me and i had nowhere to live. i was at work, they came over packed up my stuff and moved me into their home. Opened up their lives to me and made me part of their family. they did it without hesitation and without my asking. I don't think i will ever be able to repay their kindness.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

What part of your body do you like the most and what part would you like to change? :thinking:
User avatar
AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by AussiePam »

Lil~Basco wrote: What's the best pick up line that you have ever used on a woman and they fell for it?


Basco, Basco - have mercy!!! I was brought up to see men as noble wonderful creatures - who respected us weaker vessels, put us on pedestals, offered us flowers... kinda thang. I just found out there is no Santa..... I can't take any more.
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

User avatar
AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by AussiePam »

:D OMG Floppy. You sure do know how to choose yer words!!!!! GUFFAW

MEMO to self.. work out how to use the smiley things



GEESCH I thought I'd worked it out then the Administrator came stomping in and told me I'd used too many and git outta here and fix it pronto capeesh.... hic...

I'm allowed four only:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

But hey I'm blonde and I did it... things is looking up
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

Breasts, thighs or legs..........

..................chicken, that is? :D
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: How would you set the mood for a romantic night with a woman? :)
it is a warm summer evening. we would go out to the lake. earlier in the day i stopped and picked up some finger foods: grapes, cheese&cracker, chocolate covered strawberries, and a beautiful bottle of wine. i have a blanket, candles, and a blindfold.

i would pick her up and blindfold her. she has no idea where we are going, but she trusts me.

we get to the lake, everything is set up, and i remove the blindfold. we sit on the grass close to the beach and watch the sunset and then the moonrise. all the while feeding her. not that she's incappable of doing it for herself, but she is too beatiful to need to.

the car stereo would be playing a mix of songs: Nat King Cole, Van Morrison, Sarah McGlaughlin, and so on.

we would stay out watching teh moon crawl further and further until finally the stars came out in their full splendor, until eventually the wine was gone.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

flopstock wrote: how's it hangin sweetie?:D
bout GD time you got here! i have missed the hell out of you.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Sheryl
Posts: 8498
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:08 am

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Sheryl »

What hair color do you prefer?
"Girls are crazy! I'm not ever getting married, I can make my own sandwiches!"

my son
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: What's the best pick up line that you have ever used on a woman and they fell for it?
i have never used a pick up line. all the women i have dated, i have "picked up" outside a bar.

I think the best line i used was actually an entire conversation. well, arguement actually.

we were bickering over who was the better Star Trek captain; Kirk or Picard. it was in an Applebee's, she was sitting at a table behind my buddy and me, and we had the entire restaruant forming camps. i was for Picard, she was for Kirk. it was the oddest evening i have ever had. you really did have to be there.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: What part of your body do you like the most and what part would you like to change? :thinking:
Ahh appealing to my vanity, eh? that works...

I love my hair, don't mess with the hair. if i have bad hair day the whole thing is shot to hell. and i like my chest. and my voice.

as per what i would change... my feet. i would like feet that were two sizes smaller. finding a 16 shoe and not spending mucho$$$ is impossible. but i find 14s everywhere.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

Wolverine wrote: Ahh appealing to my vanity, eh? that works...

I love my hair, don't mess with the hair. if i have bad hair day the whole thing is shot to hell. and i like my chest. and my voice.

as per what i would change... my feet. i would like feet that were two sizes smaller. finding a 16 shoe and not spending mucho$$$ is impossible. but i find 14s everywhere.
But....what if your female companion loves playing with your hair while...well...you know....would you get angry that she touched it? :-3
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: Breasts, thighs or legs..........

..................chicken, that is? :D
well, with chicken i am a drum-stick guy. but not on turkey. turkey has got to be the breast. anything but the wings of a pheasant, and nothing on a duck. maybe it wasn't prepared correctly, but i'm just not that impressed with duck.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Sheryl wrote: What hair color do you prefer?
now i am really surprised that anyone in the Garden doesn't know this...

i am and forever will be a sucker for REDHEADS!! now you get me a redhead with green eyes, and i'm marrying her on the spot.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: But....what if your female companion loves playing with your hair while...well...you know....would you get angry that she touched it? :-3
absolutely not. almost anything is excusable in the heat of the moment. Right Floopy?


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Rapunzel »

Can I dance the "mattress dance of happiness" with your avatar???





PS your gal is nuts! How can you possibly compare Picard perfection with Kirk the jerk? This is for that gal! :wah:
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Rapunzel wrote: Can I dance the "mattress dance of happiness" with your avatar???





PS your gal is nuts! How can you possibly compare Picard perfection with Kirk the jerk? This is for that gal! :wah:
you can do whatever you want with him. but i don't believe you know the proper form and techinque for the "Dance." you will need a strict and thorough tutorial before trying to preform it on your own. my lessons are free of charge. shall we meet, say... Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 3pm?


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by chonsigirl »

Why did you select the name Wolverine?

:)
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

chonsigirl wrote: Why did you select the name Wolverine?

:)
Wolverine is my favorite comic book character. i have been a fan since childhood, long before the movie.

Wolverine is a lost soul; He isn't sure where he fits in the world.(as i was)

He has a very precise moral code, everything is Black or White; Good or Evil. He has no gray area(as i would like to have) he always does the right thing because it is the right thing to do.(as i try to) he has a quirky, subtle, and somewhat juvenile sense of humor(yep) and he is devoted, almost to a fault, to his family and friends(as i like to think i am).

He is adapt at hiding what emotions he doesn't want others to see(i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve).

He is tough, and does not take any Sh*t off anyone.

Plus he's overly hairy, like me.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Sheryl
Posts: 8498
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 3:08 am

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Sheryl »

What is your signature dish?
"Girls are crazy! I'm not ever getting married, I can make my own sandwiches!"

my son
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Sheryl wrote: What is your signature dish?
the one dish that everyone knows i make is Beef stroganhoff.

i use sour cream from a local dairy that only distributes to 3 towns. this is the stuff that my great-gramma used to make.

i use 16oz of the best cut of loin i can get from the only surviving family owned butcher in three counties.

the noodles i use are what my mom and i make three days before.

the seasoning, unfortunately, is started with McCormick brand, but everything after is all me. i use mushrooms, but those are gotten in early spring and late fall when i go "hunting" with my uncle.

occasionally i use green beans or peas. those come from my Great-aunt's garden.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by AussiePam »

Wolverine wrote: now i am really surprised that anyone in the Garden doesn't know this...

i am and forever will be a sucker for REDHEADS!! now you get me a redhead with green eyes, and i'm marrying her on the spot.


I never knew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Irish kinda red blonde hair with matching freckles and midnight colored eyes isn't going to be enough!!?

Life can be so cruel.

I shall sing the blues.

But I'll do it centre stage, full volume, like no woman ever sang for you before, I'll tear your heartstrings, blast you into space, pulverise your psyche, and every one of your overabundant hairs will stand up and cry out my name....
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

Lil~Basco wrote: So...we shall ask him.....got a signature line that's fit for AussiePam? :D
Are you prone to missing questions....this wasn't answered. :-3
pantsonfire321@aol.com
Posts: 2920
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2005 8:26 am

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by pantsonfire321@aol.com »

If i bought you a pink t shirt ..would you wear it ?
Can go from 0 - to bitch in 3.0 seconds .:D







Smile people :yh_bigsmi







yep, this bitch bites back .;)
Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

Can it hurt to tinker with your yo-yo? :-3
Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

Where do flies go at night? :thinking:
Lil~Basco
Posts: 5167
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:29 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Lil~Basco »

What part of a woman's body do you like the best? :D
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

AussiePam wrote: I never knew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Irish kinda red blonde hair with matching freckles and midnight colored eyes isn't going to be enough!!?

Life can be so cruel.
that sounds about right. when you coming over??


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: If i bought you a pink t shirt ..would you wear it ?
yes.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

Lil~Basco wrote: Are you prone to missing questions....this wasn't answered. :-3
i'm still working on it:o


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Ask Wolvie... everything

Post by Wolverine »

SnoozeControl wrote: Do you have hair on your back?
sort of....

i have a weird little patch right above my butt, about where most women get tatoos. my chest hair is jet black, on my head its a dartk brown. but that little patch is an odd shade of red.


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

Post Reply

Return to “Just For The Fun Of It”