Spot is being held to ransom... Meet our demands or else !!!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:47 pm

oscar;1124704 wrote: The Party has reached an agreement with Senator Carla of the US. Only an increased offer from the Irish can save you and Spot.

The Party is willing however to hear out any proposed replacement from the US. We will not accept Jester, Jones Jones, Mustang or Tombstone.

Although you are not garunteed in us accepting your proposed re-placement.

The MP for Ireland has been contacted and told he has until 6 pm to re-negotiate.

Hey Ill turn over on anyone. Throw them right under the bus.

Ill get to work.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:48 pm

Nomad;1124703 wrote: That might backfire. Its possible theres no $ amount high enough for them to accept his return.

And quite frankly Im afraid they wouldnt let me back in once Im out so Im going underground till this blows over.

The Party does not accept any form of black-mail and insurgents such as wildhorses will be dealt with swiftly by the British Government.

The Party will not accept any form of currency other than British Â£ Sterling.

If you attempt to abscond whilst re-negotiations with the Irish are in progress, you will be placed on Britains most wanted list and there will be no escape. The Party has links with Guantamano Bay. You have been warned. Do not abscond.

wildhorses · Post by **wildhorses** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:48 pm

Nomad;1124703 wrote: That might backfire. Its possible theres no $ amount high enough for them to accept his return.And quite frankly Im afraid they wouldnt let me back in once Im out so Im going underground till this blows over.

Everyone has their price nomad. Give it a couple days....or maybe even only a couple hours. Believe me...spot is the one doing the torturing...he he. As the hours go by and negotiations develop, this could mean big bucks for FG'ers.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:51 pm

Nomad;1124706 wrote: Hey Ill turn over on anyone. Throw them right under the bus.

Ill get to work.

You have until 6 pm Blighty time. That's 9 hours to find and offer a suitable replacement. It must be of the highest calibre for us to consider such an option.

Do not throw them under a bus. they must be alive upon reaching London or the deal is off.

The Party must now break for talks and breakfast. We will contact you shortly.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:54 pm

wildhorses;1124708 wrote: Everyone has their price nomad. Give it a couple days....or maybe even only a couple hours. Believe me...spot is the one doing the torturing...he he. As the hours go by and negotiations develop, this could mean big bucks for FG'ers.

During captivity Spot was fitted with a radio controlled device that gave off a 5000 volt electric shock to his gonads every time he tried to talk. This has been highly successfull in silencing Spot and he is now not as much of a pest as he was.

The party has broken and will return shortly.

wildhorses · Post by **wildhorses** » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:55 pm

oscar;1124707 wrote: The Party does not accept any form of black-mail and insurgents such as wildhorses will be dealt with swiftly by the British Government.

The Party will not accept any form of currency other than British Â£ Sterling.

If you attempt to abscond whilst re-negotiations with the Irish are in progress, you will be placed on Britains most wanted list and there will be no escape. The Party has links with Guantamano Bay. You have been warned. Do not abscond.

I am not afraid of you. The fact that you picked Spot as a target (LOL) exposes your inexperience in kidnapping. I assert that you are not with the British government at all...but imposters. Let Forum Garden operatives know when you are ready to negotiate the possibility of returning him at your cost.

wildhorses · Post by **wildhorses** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:02 am

oscar;1124710 wrote: During captivity Spot was fitted with a radio controlled device that gave off a 5000 volt electric shock to his gonads every time he tried to talk. This has been highly successfull in silencing Spot and he is now not as much of a pest as he was.

The party has broken and will return shortly.

Ya...go have your meeting ....and breakfast, you are going to need to keep up your strength. You gave an electric shock to Spot? So now he is yapping twice as fast. Let us know when you have had enough. I will start the bidding at ONE MILLION. After all it has to be split between all FG'ers. And we will cut Spot in on the deal for the great job he is doing in driving you out of your mind. He has his own special version of the Chinese water torture ....he doesnt need water for it. Oh he is an expert. Good luck.

wildhorses · Post by **wildhorses** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:05 am

Oh...and that one million should be in dollars.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:11 am

oscar;1124710 wrote: During captivity Spot was fitted with a radio controlled device that gave off a 5000 volt electric shock to his gonads every time he tried to talk. This has been highly successfull in silencing Spot and he is now not as much of a pest as he was.

The party has broken and will return shortly.

Well as we all know hes incapable of not talking so his gonads must be raisins by now.

Ok...you are not going to get a better deal anywhere.

You can have George Bush, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

wildhorses · Post by **wildhorses** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:11 am

Nomad;1124714 wrote: Well as we all know hes incapable of not talking so his gonads must be raisins by now.

Ok...you are not going to get a better deal anywhere.

You can have George Bush, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

LOL@raisins. Maybe we should consider charging more if he is damaged.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:16 am

wildhorses;1124702 wrote: Oscar wrote:

You have only until midnight until we begin to slowley torture Spot into shutting the F**k up as he hasn't stopped talking since he got here.

NO ONE ON FG SHOULD MAKE ANY FURTHER OFFERS. I FIGURE WE CAN MAKE SOME MONEY ON THIS DEAL. LET THEM KEEP SPOT FOR A FEW DAYS MORE. WHEN THEY CANT STAND IT ANYMORE...THEY WILL PAY US TO TAKE HIM BACK.

I think you make an EXCELLENT point here. :yh_rotfl

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:22 am

Whoops Nomie sorry about this I didn't think they would take me serious. Just like you I will throw anyone under the Bus so I thought of you. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

G Bush, Rush, Sean good choices none of them can out talk Spot. How about we throw in Bill O'Rielly that should even it up.

[QUOTE]Well as we all know hes incapable of not talking so his gonads must be raisins by now.

Ok...you are not going to get a better deal anywhere.

You can have George Bush, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.[/QUOTE]

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:26 am

minks;1124268 wrote: I will give you one Moose hindquarter, a vat of real maple syrup and one prefab igloo?

?????

prefab igloo? :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:35 am

oscar;1124546 wrote: With 30 minutes to the deadline, survival will not be an option for Spot unless the Canadian Government can raise the bid on the pre-fab igloo to match the US proposal of a straight swop for Nomad that the party is re-considering.

How about a dozen pre-fab igloos?

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 9:44 am

wildhorses;1124702 wrote: Oscar wrote:

You have only until midnight until we begin to slowley torture Spot into shutting the F**k up as he hasn't stopped talking since he got here.

NO ONE ON FG SHOULD MAKE ANY FURTHER OFFERS. I FIGURE WE CAN MAKE SOME MONEY ON THIS DEAL. LET THEM KEEP SPOT FOR A FEW DAYS MORE. WHEN THEY CANT STAND IT ANYMORE...THEY WILL PAY US TO TAKE HIM BACK.

Oh LOL, I'm cracking up here, this is the best one yet. It's equal to the pre-fab igloos. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:34 am

CARLA;1124844 wrote: Whoops Nomie sorry about this I didn't think they would take me serious. Just like you I will throw anyone under the Bus so I thought of you. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

G Bush, Rush, Sean good choices none of them can out talk Spot. How about we throw in Bill O'Rielly that should even it up.

We The Party have held crisis talks. There is 30 minutes Blighty time left until the deadline to offer a suitable replacement for Nomad.

The MP for Ireland was contacted but has refused to re-negotiate to save Nomad from a life in Britain.

We the Party have rejected the offer of Rush and Sean.

We are still considering the offer of Bush however we feel that something with the ability to think on it's own should also be offered with him.

25 minutes to the deadline.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:41 am

Amber Sun;1124979 wrote: How about a dozen pre-fab igloos?

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Does the Canadian Authorities wish to respectfully re-subit their proposal with increased pre fab igloo's?

You have 20 minutes.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:48 am

Amber Sun;1124967 wrote: prefab igloo? :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I know, what a joke eh?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:01 am

oscar;1125045 wrote: Does the Canadian Authorities wish to respectfully re-subit their proposal with increased pre fab igloo's?

You have 20 minutes.

Yes, we will offer one dozen pre-fab igloos for Spot. Our pre-fab igloos come with box heaters, floor mats and 2 dozen rolls of bathroom tissue.

If you will accept our proposal we will start construction immediately for the cage that we have planned for Spot in our zoo. You can rest assured that our zoo in Winnipeg is of the highest quality and he will be well looked after just as our other parrots and myna birds are. He should fit in well with the magpies also. He will be kept safe from the ravens who don't tolerate any nonsense. Our children will enjoy seeing a new addition to the zoo.

Respectfully yours

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:10 am

Amber Sun;1125086 wrote: Yes, we will offer one dozen pre-fab igloos for Spot. Our pre-fab igloos come with box heaters, floor mats and 2 dozen rolls of bathroom tissue.

If you will accept our proposal we will start construction immediately for the cage that we have planned for Spot in our zoo. You can rest assured that our zoo in Winnipeg is of the highest quality and he will be well looked after just as our other parrots and myna birds are. He should fit in well with the magpies also. He will be kept safe from the ravens who don't tolerate any nonsense. Our children will enjoy seeing a new addition to the zoo.

Respectfully yours

The Dead-line passed 5 minutes ago and after further discussion, we the Party have refused the US proposal of sending Bush in place of Nomad.

However after a late re-submission from the Canadian Authorities, we the Party do formally accept the above Proposal.

The Party will post our Terms for keeping Spot in your Zoo to ensure his quality of life.

Thank You Canada and God Bless you for saving Nomad from a life in Britain. The Prime Minister is naturally dissapointed as he had a job lined up in the Cabinet for Nomad to deal with our striking Unions.

Travel arrangements will be made this evening for the deportation of Spot to Canada and we will post his flight details forth-with.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:15 am

Amber Sun;1125086 wrote: Yes, we will offer one dozen pre-fab igloos for Spot. Our pre-fab igloos come with box heaters, floor mats and 2 dozen rolls of bathroom tissue.

If you will accept our proposal we will start construction immediately for the cage that we have planned for Spot in our zoo. You can rest assured that our zoo in Winnipeg is of the highest quality and he will be well looked after just as our other parrots and myna birds are. He should fit in well with the magpies also. He will be kept safe from the ravens who don't tolerate any nonsense. Our children will enjoy seeing a new addition to the zoo.

Respectfully yours

what will you call him?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Spotter?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:19 am

oscar;1125117 wrote: The Dead-line passed 5 minutes ago and after further discussion, we the Party have refused the US proposal of sending Bush in place of Nomad.

However after a late re-submission from the Canadian Authorities, we the Party do formally accept the above Proposal.

The Party will post our Terms for keeping Spot in your Zoo to ensure his quality of life.

Thank You Canada and God Bless you for saving Nomad from a life in Britain. The Prime Minister is naturally dissapointed as he had a job lined up in the Cabinet for Nomad to deal with our striking Unions.

Travel arrangements will be made this evening for the deportation of Spot to Canada and we will post his flight details forth-with.

We are pleased that you have accepted our proposal, it is always nice to deal with a sister country, as this is how many Canadians view the UK. We will begin construction at the zoo immediately and will also arrange for transport to the UK concerning the pre-fab igloos complete with essentials.

Respectfully yours

The Canadian Ambassador For The Humane Treatment of Spot

Amber Sun

(Rachel)

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:26 am

Amber Sun;1125130 wrote: We are pleased that you have accepted our proposal, it is always nice to deal with a sister country, as this is how many Canadians view the UK. We will begin construction at the zoo immediately and will also arrange for transport to the UK concerning the pre-fab igloos complete with essentials.

Respectfully yours

The Canadian Ambassador For The Humane Treatment of Spot

Amber Sun

(Rachel)

The Party wishes to express their pleasure in your diplomatic relations.

The list of terms and conditions for the treatment of Spot on Canadian soil is being drawn up by our agents. We will post these once we have had British Tea.

Yours respectfully,

The Party.

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:29 am

Odie;1125124 wrote: what will you call him?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Spotter?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Now Odie, this is very serious (:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl) business. We will continue to call him Spot but should the parrots or magpies decide to change his name it will remain within their caged confines.

I know that the children across Canada and the USA will all want to see the new addition to our zoo. This will boost tourism here and bring in added revenue. The children will be delighted when they talk to him and he squawks back.

I am sure that we made a very good deal with the UK regarding the pre-fab igloos and bathroom tissue. I feel confident that they will enjoy both.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:15 pm

The Canadian Ambassador For The Humane Treatment of Spot

Im speechless.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:17 pm

oscar;1125033 wrote: We The Party have held crisis talks. There is 30 minutes Blighty time left until the deadline to offer a suitable replacement for Nomad.

The MP for Ireland was contacted but has refused to re-negotiate to save Nomad from a life in Britain.

We the Party have rejected the offer of Rush and Sean.

We are still considering the offer of Bush however we feel that something with the ability to think on it's own should also be offered with him.

25 minutes to the deadline.

Cheney

They come as a pair and he does all of Bushs thinking for him.

Its a nice tidy package.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:25 pm

Nomad;1125208 wrote: Cheney

They come as a pair and he does all of Bushs thinking for him.

Its a nice tidy package.

We the Party reject the Proposal of Cheney with Bush since Cheney left the Whitehouse in a wheelchair.

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:32 pm

Nomad;1125207 wrote: Im speechless.

Quote:

The Canadian Ambassador For The Humane Treatment of Spot

Nomad;1125207 wrote: Im speechless.

Are you lacking in ambassadors there, do you need my services? I can make good bargains, ask Odie.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:35 pm

oscar;1125214 wrote: We the Party reject the Proposal of Cheney with Bush since Cheney left the Whitehouse in a wheelchair.

Damnit !

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:39 pm

Amber Sun;1125218 wrote: Quote:

The Canadian Ambassador For The Humane Treatment of Spot

Are you lacking in ambassadors there, do you need my services? I can make good bargains, ask Odie.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Im simply blown away that a body of govt would consider treating spock ethically.

Perhaps its affiliated with PETA ?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:29 pm

Nomad;1125226 wrote: Im simply blown away that a body of govt would consider treating spock ethically.

Perhaps its affiliated with PETA ?

We the Party demand that as Spot is British, he must be treated as British during his life in Canada. this includes all his human rights under British Law.

The Party is drawing up terms and conditions for Spot's deportation to Canada.

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:55 pm

Nomad;1125226 wrote: Im simply blown away that a body of govt would consider treating spock ethically.

Perhaps its affiliated with PETA ?

LOL Nomad, PETA isn't gov't. :yh_rotfl

But Spot is such an oddity, and considering the generated tourist income, a special department is being set up to handle any situation that may arise. Heck, a captured Klingon would be hard pressed to compete with Spot at the zoo.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:02 pm

Amber Sun;1125143 wrote: Now Odie, this is very serious (:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl) business. We will continue to call him Spot but should the parrots or magpies decide to change his name it will remain within their caged confines.

I know that the children across Canada and the USA will all want to see the new addition to our zoo. This will boost tourism here and bring in added revenue. The children will be delighted when they talk to him and he squawks back.

I am sure that we made a very good deal with the UK regarding the pre-fab igloos and bathroom tissue. I feel confident that they will enjoy both.

so your new addition, Spot to the zoo, what kind of species is he:sneaky::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I'll send our Komoda Dragons from the Toronto Zoo to keep him in line!

:sneaky::yh_rotfl

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:18 pm

Odie;1125416 wrote: so your new addition, Spot to the zoo, what kind of species is he:sneaky::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

I'll send our Komoda Dragons from the Toronto Zoo to keep him in line!

:sneaky::yh_rotfl

LOL Odie, thanks for the offer of the Komoda Dragons, but it is not necessary. As it is we are trying to free him as the UK has electrodes attached to his gonads to keep him quiet. We however, will allow him to be himself at the zoo. He will even be served his tea and crumpets (I think this is what the English eat, it has to be checked out).

As far as a species is concerned well an Irishman on this thread referred to him as a 'welsh rare bit'. So if that is what his species is called then rarebit it will be.

I am thinking of making a banner for Oscar for the funniest thread I've read yet. What do you think?

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:21 pm

Amber Sun;1125443 wrote: LOL Odie, thanks for the offer of the Komoda Dragons, but it is not necessary. As it is we are trying to free him as the UK has electrodes attached to his gonads to keep him quiet. We however, will allow him to be himself at the zoo. He will even be served his tea and crumpets (I think this is what the English eat, it has to be checked out).

As far as a species is concerned well an Irishman on this thread referred to him as a 'welsh rare bit'. So if that is what his species is called then rarebit it will be.

I am thinking of making a banner for Oscar for the funniest thread I've read yet. What do you think?

hmmmmmmmmmm an english rarebit, pity!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

crumpets? ..........and I thought he was a maneater!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:34 pm

Odie;1125451 wrote: hmmmmmmmmmm an english rarebit, pity!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

crumpets? ..........and I thought he was a maneater!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

We the Party are in the last hour of our terms and conditions that will be posted to you. This is due to Britain having a touch of Snow.

All terms and conditions must be agreed by the Canadian Government for the successfull transition of Spot onto a British Airways Plane to Canada.

We the Party never reveal the identity of our in-mates, however as we the Party have been impressed by the negotiating skill of the Canadians, we are willing in this instance to place a photograph of Spot onto this site. Please await picture.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:45 pm

In order for Canada to prepare to recieve Spot, we the Party have issued the linked photograph.

Please be warned that this photograph is under strict copyright laws to the Party and any mis-use, copying or posting onto other sights will result in re-opening negotitations to the US for Nomad.

Spot is far Left at the back of this photograph.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/membe ... yorke.html

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 4:46 pm

oscar;1125470 wrote: We the Party are in the last hour of our terms and conditions that will be posted to you. This is due to Britain having a touch of Snow.

All terms and conditions must be agreed by the Canadian Government for the successfull transition of Spot onto a British Airways Plane to Canada.

We the Party never reveal the identity of our in-mates, however as we the Party have been impressed by the negotiating skill of the Canadians, we are willing in this instance to place a photograph of Spot onto this site. Please await picture.

snow? OMG, not sure if he can land here, we have snow to!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

good god, close our airports down!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

women and children first!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:13 pm

LOL, I did this so fast I misspelled laughter.......R.O.T.L.M.B.O.......well, oscar, it's original anyway...R.O.F.L.

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:20 pm

oscar;1125485 wrote: In order for Canada to prepare to recieve Spot, we the Party have issued the linked photograph.

Please be warned that this photograph is under strict copyright laws to the Party and any mis-use, copying or posting onto other sights will result in re-opening negotitations to the US for Nomad.

Spot is far Left at the back of this photograph.

http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/membe ... yorke.html

In the last row behind the women, the scrawny little guy? LOL, we don't need a very large cage do we?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:21 pm

Amber Sun;1125512 wrote:

LOL, I did this so fast I misspelled laughter.......R.O.T.L.M.B.O.......well, oscar, it's original anyway...R.O.F.L.

The Right Honerable Gordon Brown Prime Minister of Great Britain graciously accepts the certificate on behalf of the Party. He extends his gratitude in the work you have put into creating this original. It has been duely copied and will be displayed in a frame in the House of Commons.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:26 pm

The terms and conditions for Spot's life in a Zoo in Canada are taking longer than expected due to Spot wishing to add his own terms.

Under British law, the Party is here-by duty bound in listening to Spot's wishes. Although they are likely to be completely dis-regarded.

Posting of terms and conditions will commence at 01.00 am Blighty time. Please have your government and Embassador ready to recieve our post. We the Party are willing to give you one hour there-after to digest and deliberate the terms.

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:09 pm

oscar;1125519 wrote: The Right Honerable Gordon Brown Prime Minister of Great Britain graciously accepts the certificate on behalf of the Party. He extends his gratitude in the work you have put into creating this original. It has been duely copied and will be displayed in a frame in the House of Commons.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl I don't think so:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:17 pm

TERMS AND CONDITIONS FROM 'THE SPOT REPUBLICAN PARTY'

For the transfer of Spot to successfully come to fruition, we the Party state that the following terms and conditions for life in a zoo, must be kept for the rest of Spot's life.

These terms and conditions are the acts of Parliment and British Law. His quality of life must be kept to the standard we expect as all British citizens must abide by.

1) On arrival in Canada, Spot must be immediately de-frosted at room temperature. Temptation to speed the process by placing Spot in a microwave or on the top of a boiler will result in an infraction.

2) After Spot has de-frosted he must be bathed by a matronlly woman and rubbed down gently with soft towels.

3) Spot must then be fed. This must be British food be-fit of Spot's heritage and must include crumpet.

Once Spot has rested sufficiently, he may then be placed into his enclosure.

This must:

1) Be shielded from potential sniper fire.

2) Have a window for ventilation with some nice check curtains.

3) viewing to the public must be restricted to two sides of the enclosure.

4) An assortment of fresh fruit and British Tea must be on offer at all times.

5) All attendents of Spot must carry a first aid licence and have at least 10 years experience in the nursing proffession.

6) Spot's sleeping arrangements must consist of an en suite bedroom with the British Flag, a portrait of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth 11, Manchester United football ground, a portrait of premier Gordon Brown and an aieral shot of Wales on his walls.

7) Soft clean toilet paper must be in abundence as Spot is often full of crap.

8) A personal computer must be supplied for Spot although the Party must stress than use must be limited to four 10 minute sessions a day for the well-being of Fg members.

9) Contact with the outside world is vital. Spot must be delivered a Daily Mail to be able to catch up on British news and a copy of 'Birds with big tits' magazine weekly.

10) Spot must be allowed visits from his family should they have any desire to check on his well-being.

11) Spot must have one phone call a week although calls to the Whitehouse might best be avoided due to his love of Obama.

There is to be a state opening of Spot's enclosure by the local Mayor. If you can't get him, we will accept, the left Quater back from your local team.

Upon the opening of spot to the Canadian public, we the Party insist:

1) Small children are exposed to Spot for no longer than 10 minutes at a time.

2) Elderly people be suppllied oxygen in case of shock.

The rest of these terms are to be continued once us british have returned from feeding the wildlife. Part two will follow.

you have only one hour in which to digest these terms.

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:23 pm

oscar;1125521 wrote: The terms and conditions for Spot's life in a Zoo in Canada are taking longer than expected due to Spot wishing to add his own terms.

Under British law, the Party is here-by duty bound in listening to Spot's wishes. Although they are likely to be completely dis-regarded.

Posting of terms and conditions will commence at 01.00 am Blighty time. Please have your government and Embassador ready to recieve our post. We the Party are willing to give you one hour there-after to digest and deliberate the terms.

I don't know what your Blighty time is compared to ours but if we are asleep over here then we will need more than an hour. I believe that there is a 6 hour difference so your 01:00am will give us 0700 hours. Since our weather here is very forbidding at present we beg your indulgence in extending our deliberation period for 3 hours instead of the one.

Yours truly

Amber Sun

Canadian Ambassador For The Humane Treatment of Spot

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:34 pm

Amber Sun;1125590 wrote: I don't know what your Blighty time is compared to ours but if we are asleep over here then we will need more than an hour. I believe that there is a 6 hour difference so your 01:00am will give us 0700 hours. Since our weather here is very forbidding at present we beg your indulgence in extending our deliberation period for 3 hours instead of the one.

Yours truly

Amber Sun

Canadian Ambassador For The Humane Treatment of Spot

We the Party have considered the Canadian Embassador's proposal for an extention of deliberation period.

We are willing to extend your period by 2 hours. This will be 03.30 am Blighty time.

Yours Faithfully,

The Party

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:44 pm

oscar;1125582 wrote: TERMS AND CONDITIONS FROM 'THE SPOT REPUBLICAN PARTY'

For the transfer of Spot to successfully come to fruition, we the Party state that the following terms and conditions for life in a zoo, must be kept for the rest of Spot's life.

These terms and conditions are the acts of Parliment and British Law. His quality of life must be kept to the standard we expect as all British citizens must abide by.

1) On arrival in Canada, Spot must be immediately de-frosted at room temperature. Temptation to speed the process by placing Spot in a microwave or on the top of a boiler will result in an infraction.

2) After Spot has de-frosted he must be bathed by a matronlly woman and rubbed down gently with soft towels.

3) Spot must then be fed. This must be British food be-fit of Spot's heritage and must include crumpet.

Once Spot has rested sufficiently, he may then be placed into his enclosure.

This must:

1) Be shielded from potential sniper fire.

2) Have a window for ventilation with some nice check curtains.

3) viewing to the public must be restricted to two sides of the enclosure.

4) An assortment of fresh fruit and British Tea must be on offer at all times.

5) All attendents of Spot must carry a first aid licence and have at least 10 years experience in the nursing proffession.

6) Spot's sleeping arrangements must consist of an en suite bedroom with the British Flag, a portrait of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth 11, Manchester United football ground, a portrait of premier Gordon Brown and an aieral shot of Wales on his walls.

7) Soft clean toilet paper must be in abundence as Spot is often full of crap.

8) A personal computer must be supplied for Spot although the Party must stress than use must be limited to four 10 minute sessions a day for the well-being of Fg members.

9) Contact with the outside world is vital. Spot must be delivered a Daily Mail to be able to catch up on British news and a copy of 'Birds with big tits' magazine weekly.

10) Spot must be allowed visits from his family should they have any desire to check on his well-being.

11) Spot must have one phone call a week although calls to the Whitehouse might best be avoided due to his love of Obama.

There is to be a state opening of Spot's enclosure by the local Mayor. If you can't get him, we will accept, the left Quater back from your local team.

Upon the opening of spot to the Canadian public, we the Party insist:

1) Small children are exposed to Spot for no longer than 10 minutes at a time.

2) Elderly people be suppllied oxygen in case of shock.

The rest of these terms are to be continued once us british have returned from feeding the wildlife. Part two will follow.

you have only one hour in which to digest these terms.

To The THE SPOT REPUBLICAN PARTY

I must express surprise at receiving your terms at this time of 17:30 hours. We accept your terms in respect to Spot. It has been, and still is, our intention to provide all necessary items required for his physical, emotional and mental well being. He will even be provided a mate if we are able to locate one that is of his caliber. Since he is a 'Welsh rare-bit', perhaps you have one that is female?

2) After Spot has de-frosted he must be bathed by a matronlly woman and rubbed down gently with soft towels.

This is now being arranged. We have at our disposal Gerta with strong capable hands that will take him under her wing. She is well able to control the strength of her stature when required.

We respectfully await the rest of your terms. Delivery is under way for the pre-fab igloos to you.

Yours truly

Your sister country

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 6:53 pm

Amber Sun;1125633 wrote: To The THE SPOT REPUBLICAN PARTY

I must express surprise at receiving your terms at this time of 17:30 hours. We accept your terms in respect to Spot. It has been, and still is, our intention to provide all necessary items required for his physical, emotional and mental well being. He will even be provided a mate if we are able to locate one that is of his caliber. Since he is a 'Welsh rare-bit', perhaps you have one that is female?

2) After Spot has de-frosted he must be bathed by a matronlly woman and rubbed down gently with soft towels.

This is now being arranged. We have at our disposal Gerta with strong capable hands that will take him under her wing. She is well able to control the strength of her stature when required.

We respectfully await the rest of your terms. Delivery is under way for the pre-fab igloos to you.

Yours truly

Your sister country

We the Party are heartened to hear of your concern for Spot and Gerta.

We are also considering the idea of a mate. It is vital that only a welsh-rea-bit is given to Spot for company as a British or American mate could upset the stability of Spot's delicate mental balance.

We the Party propose the transfer of the welsh rea-bit Chezzi with a view to companionship as both speak the same celtic language or bollocks as it's known in Britain. If the Party is unable to secure the capture of Chezzie, may we offer the Jockstrap himself gmc. If we get desperate, we may have to resort to galbally the Irish leprechaun.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:30 pm

Thank you Amber Sun for stepping in and giving Spot a new home.:yh_rotfl I don't think Nomad would have adapted well in Britain.

Amber Sun · Post by **Amber Sun** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:41 pm

oscar;1125645 wrote: We the Party are heartened to hear of your concern for Spot and Gerta.

We are also considering the idea of a mate. It is vital that only a welsh-rea-bit is given to Spot for company as a British or American mate could upset the stability of Spot's delicate mental balance.

We the Party propose the transfer of the welsh rea-bit Chezzi with a view to companionship as both speak the same celtic language or bollocks as it's known in Britain. If the Party is unable to secure the capture of Chezzie, may we offer the Jockstrap himself gmc. If we get desperate, we may have to resort to galbally the Irish leprechaun.

To The THE SPOT REPUBLICAN PARTY

We are leaving the choice of the Welsh rare-bit as your decision. We are not aware of who the 'Jockstrap' is but galbally the leprechaun seems pleasant enough. Whatever decision you make will be acceptable to us as a mating union with either of these will not produce offspring in Spots genetic line. Since they will be sharing the same bed quarters alterations to their enclosure will not be necessary at this time.

Yours truly

Your sister country