Do you fart in bed?
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell
would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would
plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told
her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to
see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out..
The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one thanksgiving
morning as she was preparing the for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep,
she looked at the innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a
malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband
of his underpan ts and emptied the bowl of guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
as he ran into the bathroom. The wife
could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in
her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
good...
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained
underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him
what was the matter.
He said, 'honey you were right.' 'all these years you have
warned me and i didn't listen to you'. What do you mean?' asked
his wife. Well, you always told me that one day i would end up farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened.' but by the grace of god, some
vaseline and two fingers. I think i got most of them back in.'
Eeeeewwww!!
Eeeeewwww!!
EWWWWWWWWW!!!! is right..!! :wah::wah:
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
Eeeeewwww!!
lol..heard that one before Pheasy..:wah::wah::wah
Farting can be fun
Be it silent or loud
You can do it on the run
by yourself or in a crowd
Some are very dry
and some are wet
some can make you cry
and some will make you sweat
so eat some spicy food
and try hard to let one go
yes, farting is rude
but it's fun don't ya know....
Farting can be fun
Be it silent or loud
You can do it on the run
by yourself or in a crowd
Some are very dry
and some are wet
some can make you cry
and some will make you sweat
so eat some spicy food
and try hard to let one go
yes, farting is rude
but it's fun don't ya know....
Eeeeewwww!!
A fart is a musical instrument,
It cums from the island of bum,
It travels down the valley of trouser-leg,
Whilst making a musical hum.
:wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah:
It cums from the island of bum,
It travels down the valley of trouser-leg,
Whilst making a musical hum.
:wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah:
Eeeeewwww!!
A "fart" is one of the sharpest things in the world, it passes right though the clothes without leaving a mark!
"Unless it's a surprise!" Definition of surprise: A fart with a lump in it! :p
"Unless it's a surprise!" Definition of surprise: A fart with a lump in it! :p
Cars
Eeeeewwww!!
To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's - 'I Will Survive'....
First I was afraid, I was petrified
I could feel a strange commotion deep in my backside
I had spent so many nights trying to contain the pong
But I grew strong
And my arse burst into song
And so my gas
Had come to pass
As long as I know how to fart the world can kiss my ass
I got all my life to live
I got all my wind to give
It's fun to fart
It's fun to fart
First I was afraid, I was petrified
I could feel a strange commotion deep in my backside
I had spent so many nights trying to contain the pong
But I grew strong
And my arse burst into song
And so my gas
Had come to pass
As long as I know how to fart the world can kiss my ass
I got all my life to live
I got all my wind to give
It's fun to fart
It's fun to fart
Eeeeewwww!!
Chezzie;1039424 wrote: To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's - 'I Will Survive'....
First I was afraid, I was petrified
I could feel a strange commotion deep in my backside
I had spent so many nights trying to contain the pong
But I grew strong
And my arse burst into song
And so my gas
Had come to pass
As long as I know how to fart the world can kiss my ass
I got all my life to live
I got all my wind to give
It's fun to fart
It's fun to fart
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
A fart is just a gust of wind
It brings the belly ease
It warms the bed on a winter's night
And suffocates the fleas!
:D :wah:
First I was afraid, I was petrified
I could feel a strange commotion deep in my backside
I had spent so many nights trying to contain the pong
But I grew strong
And my arse burst into song
And so my gas
Had come to pass
As long as I know how to fart the world can kiss my ass
I got all my life to live
I got all my wind to give
It's fun to fart
It's fun to fart
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
A fart is just a gust of wind
It brings the belly ease
It warms the bed on a winter's night
And suffocates the fleas!
:D :wah:
Eeeeewwww!!
"Doctor, I've have problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, or at church I get lots of silent gas emissions. As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?" "The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing"
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"