Eeeeewwww!!

[Pheasy]

Do you fart in bed?





This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting

loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell

would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would

plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told

her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to

see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out..



The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one thanksgiving

morning as she was preparing the for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep,

she looked at the innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a

malicious thought came to her.



She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep

and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband

of his underpan ts and emptied the bowl of guts into his shorts.



Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting

which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps

as he ran into the bathroom. The wife

could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in

her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty

good...



About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained

underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him

what was the matter.



He said, 'honey you were right.' 'all these years you have

warned me and i didn't listen to you'. What do you mean?' asked

his wife. Well, you always told me that one day i would end up farting my guts

out, and today it finally happened.' but by the grace of god, some

vaseline and two fingers. I think i got most of them back in.'

[CARLA]

EWWWWWWWWW!!!! is right..!! :wah::wah:

[Chezzie]

lol..heard that one before Pheasy..:wah::wah::wah



Farting can be fun

Be it silent or loud

You can do it on the run

by yourself or in a crowd

Some are very dry

and some are wet

some can make you cry

and some will make you sweat

so eat some spicy food

and try hard to let one go

yes, farting is rude

but it's fun don't ya know....

[Chezzie]

A fart is a musical instrument,

It cums from the island of bum,

It travels down the valley of trouser-leg,

Whilst making a musical hum.

:wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah::wah:

[cars]

A "fart" is one of the sharpest things in the world, it passes right though the clothes without leaving a mark!



"Unless it's a surprise!" Definition of surprise: A fart with a lump in it! :p

[Chezzie]

To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's - 'I Will Survive'....

First I was afraid, I was petrified

I could feel a strange commotion deep in my backside

I had spent so many nights trying to contain the pong

But I grew strong

And my arse burst into song

And so my gas

Had come to pass

As long as I know how to fart the world can kiss my ass

I got all my life to live

I got all my wind to give

It's fun to fart

It's fun to fart

[Rapunzel]

Chezzie;1039424 wrote: To the tune of Gloria Gaynor's - 'I Will Survive'....

First I was afraid, I was petrified

I could feel a strange commotion deep in my backside

I had spent so many nights trying to contain the pong

But I grew strong

And my arse burst into song

And so my gas

Had come to pass

As long as I know how to fart the world can kiss my ass

I got all my life to live

I got all my wind to give

It's fun to fart

It's fun to fart


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

A fart is just a gust of wind

It brings the belly ease

It warms the bed on a winter's night

And suffocates the fleas!

:D :wah:

[CARLA]

"Doctor, I've have problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, or at church I get lots of silent gas emissions. As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?" "The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing"

[Odie]

ewwwwwwwwwww!:wah: