NEW.......26 of Man's Rules

[BTS]

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.



2. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

c. After wrecking your boss' car.

d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

e. When she is using her teeth



3. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed,

quartered, and eaten by his friends.



4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of

jail within 12 hours.



5. If you've known a man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits

forever, unless you actually marry her.



6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden.

Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.



7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.

In fact even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.



8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the

weakest.



9. When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the

score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.



10. You may pass gas in front of a woman only after you have brought her to

climax. If you trap her head under the covers afterward for the purpose of

entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.



11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're

tanning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless

supermodel...and it's free.



12. Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to

kick another man in the nuts.



13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.



14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos..............Ever,

.....................issue closed.



15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem; you didn't see anything.



16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies

until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as

much as the other sports watchers.



17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain

sober enough to fight.



18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,

but not both - that's just downright mean.



19. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,

except if she's withholding sex pending your response.



20. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:



a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!

b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!

c. Another set and we can hit the showers!



21. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both

urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost

imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.



22. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than

you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if

necessary.



23. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have

carnal drunken sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no

reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake

it was.



24. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her

to drive yours.



25.Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,

orange, or sky blue.



26. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?"

with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation or a set

of golf clubs.

[Nomad]

5. If you've known a man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits

forever, unless you actually marry her.







24 hrs ? Thats harsh !

[pina]

Three things men shouldn´t say in a gay bar.

1. Bugger me it´s hot in here.

2. Can I push your stool further in for you.

3. F***k me, how long to get a drink.

[Wolverine]

BTS You ROCK!

[BabyRider]

Those are a riot!!! I'm sending them to Bullet. He'll probably print them out and hang them at the clubhouse!!! Funny stuff, BTS!!!

[along-for-the-ride]

:wah: :wah:

male chauvinist...............................:p