:yh_laugh Next time you have a bad day at work ... think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station
103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week, I
had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened
to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear
a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is
quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped
to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom
and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a
Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose
out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what
had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and
pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five
minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire
out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself,
"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"!
