Dear IRS:

[BTS]

Dear IRS:



Enclosed is my 2004 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.



Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.



I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029), bringing my total remitted to $3429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5" Phillips Head screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws is enclosed for your convenience.)



It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.



Sincerely,



A Satisfied Taxpayer



MONEY



It can buy you a Book, But not Knowledge.

It can buy you a Position, But not Respect.

It can buy you a House, But not a Home.

It can buy you Medicine, But not Health.

It can buy you a Clock, But not Time.

It can buy you a Bed, But not Sleep.

It can buy you Blood, But not Life.

It can buy you Sex, But not Love.





So you see, money isn't everything. The best things in life can't be bought, and often we destroy ourselves trying.





I tell you all this because I am your friend, and as your friend I want to take away your needless pain and suffering.



So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.



A truer friend than me you will never find. CASH ONLY, PLEASE.





Formula For Success: I BELIEVE + I CAN + I WILL = I DID.