Revenge of the curtain rods

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 10:42 am

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and

suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining

room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted

on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a

few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain

rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the

first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried

everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air

fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they

had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace

the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...

Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could

not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return

their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase

a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her

the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed

her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce

settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a

price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she

were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour,

his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they

watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

.....including the curtain rods.

Philadelphia Eagle · Post by **Philadelphia Eagle** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 11:16 am

valerie wrote: She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and

suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining

room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted

on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a

few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain

rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the

first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried

everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air

fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they

had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace

the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...

Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could

not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return

their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase

a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her

the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed

her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce

settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a

price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she

were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour,

his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they

watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

.....including the curtain rods.

Excellent story -Val

It's probably been done a few times !

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 11:21 am

:yh_rotfl Wish I could be that clever!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 11:22 am

:wah: :wah: Revenge is so sweet!:sneaky:

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 11:34 am

curtain rod, one of my tools in the office. i use it as a pointer to teach on the computer, see that icon right there, hit that one. my rod is used to shut the switch on the floor on and off for power. this same tension rod is very useful for misbehaving pets and to point in the face of nasty people. :wah:

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 11:40 am

Agnes wrote: curtain rod, one of my tools in the office. i use it as a pointer to teach on the computer, see that icon right there, hit that one. my rod is used to shut the switch on the floor on and off for power. this same tension rod is very useful for misbehaving pets and to point in the face of nasty people. :wah:Is it loaded with shrimp too?

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 11:47 am

shrimp you lost me there. it is a gold tension rod that expands to 48". explain i am lost on the seafood comment. why you looking for something to eat? i guess you could feed someone with it. :wah:

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:00 pm

Agnes wrote: shrimp you lost me there. it is a gold tension rod that expands to 48". explain i am lost on the seafood comment. why you looking for something to eat? i guess you could feed someone with it. :wah:Agnes, if you read Vals post you'll understand why BTS mentioned the shrimp.

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:05 pm

abbey wrote: Agnes, if you read Vals post you'll understand why BTS mentioned the shrimp.

thanks mum i took a second look no stinkys here. shrimp tails for finger nails not air freshener. :wah:

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:05 pm

Agnes wrote: curtain rod, one of my tools in the office. i use it as a pointer to teach on the computer, see that icon right there, hit that one. my rod is used to shut the switch on the floor on and off for power. this same tension rod is very useful for misbehaving pets and to point in the face of nasty people. :wah:You'd best thank your lucky stars I can't be there when you use a

curtain rod on a misbehaving pet!! Tell you what, it would be the very

LAST time you ever did.

:mad: :yh_angry

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:09 pm

Agnes wrote: shrimp you lost me there. it is a gold tension rod that expands to 48". explain i am lost on the seafood comment. why you looking for something to eat? i guess you could feed someone with it. :wah:
Well golly gee the original rod referenced in valeries joke went like this:

"When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a

few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain

rods."

So that is where I got it......... Sorry if I lost you.........I know I hate being lost and all alone too...

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Sat Jun 11, 2005 12:19 pm

valerie wrote: You'd best thank your lucky stars I can't be there when you use a

curtain rod on a misbehaving pet!! Tell you what, it would be the very

LAST time you ever did.

:mad: :yh_angry

you are over-reacting a poodle and two kittens honey. point and command. please explain abuse here! that rod helps me keep my distance from people with odor problems. :wah:

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Sun Jun 12, 2005 7:16 am

In England there was also the famous case of a man who took a huge gigantic electronic industrial chainsaw and cut the house in half so the wife could have `her half`. (I think he got jailed for that!)

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:15 am

''BEWARE of Women with curtain rods

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:49 am

universal household tool for those hard to reach places. good lightweight weapon, i thought a vaccum pipe was good, the tension rod has that beat.

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:54 am

flopstock wrote: :yh_ooooo :yh_laugh :yh_rotfl

Good lord girl! You crack me up!!

There is no way you read her post and just picked up the curtain rod part..NO WAY...hhheeeeeeeeee

my attention span diminishes with looooooooooooong stories. then she threaten me for harming my pets. you know how some people can bee?

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 9:39 am

:wah: where do you find them

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:42 am

capt_buzzard wrote: ''BEWARE of Women with curtain rods

And big mouths!

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:04 am

abbey, do you know what a curtain rod is?

i didn't think so.shame on you.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 2:24 pm

abbey wrote: And big mouths!Abbey, I love this smiley!!! If only there really were such a thing!

Val...this is an AWESOME story!!! I will keep it filed away.....just in case. :yh_bigsmi