Tales from Topographic Oceans

TÃ½r · Post by **TÃ½r** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 6:50 am

Perhaps members - I do apologize in advance for the term - could offer their own experiences in reducing this social embarrassment. Who here (and I address the male contingent) is a sitzpinkler? Who made the mistake of carpeting their water closet? Who unleashes such torrential jets when pointing Percy at the porcelain as to cause the formation of mist?

In the interest of open discussion I offer my first personal observation: turning on the light during nighttime visits makes for far less subsequent mopping up.

BBC News - Physicists probe urination 'splashback' problem

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 8:12 am

Often the rogue right angled jet beats all attempts to contain.

I believe some cultures insist gents sit, makes a lot of sense to me.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 9:33 am

Wow, TÃ½r, you're something else & something else again!

Percy (chuckle)

TÃ½r · Post by **TÃ½r** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 10:11 am

AnneBoleyn;1439757 wrote: Wow, TÃ½r, you're something else & something else again!

Percy (chuckle)

Strewth missis, a chap's got to syphon the python every day or he gets herniated.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:56 pm

All men should sit... unless of course they always clean the toilet

-

Silly me, men cleaning toilets! Half of them have no idea what to do with toilet duck and and a toilet brush!

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:42 am

Betty Boop;1439805 wrote:

Silly me, men cleaning toilets! Half of them have no idea what to do with toilet duck and and a toilet brush!

I blame their mothers.....

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 8:21 am

Bruv;1439822 wrote: I blame their mothers.....

Ha! You've got this "blame the woman" thing down pat, dontcha?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:05 pm

Bruv;1439822 wrote: I blame their mothers.....

Carry on, we all really know the little lads are just following the examples set by the big lads

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:52 pm

AnneBoleyn;1439829 wrote: Ha! You've got this "blame the woman" thing down pat, dontcha?

Whoever said "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world".......it wasn't me, but I do agree.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 2:49 pm

You know those days when you look at what you think will be a serious thread and a bit 'o learnin .....and then you hit your head against the desk because stupidly you forgot this is forumgarden.

I thought bodily function topics was my domain......???? It's earned me a few disgusting titles over the years, something I was indeed very proud of........*sniff* now it's all gone. Someone else wears that hat today.

Yeah okay drama over ........so what have we got here? Urinating? Exellent!!!! This is right up my alley......or urethra as the case may be here.!!!

OH DEAR GOD!!!!! Awarding men for not splashing back? RIGHT THAT"S IT ..........I WANT AN AWARD TOO!!!! I've never splashed even when standing!!!!

Moddlycoddling men like this is not going to help anyone. An award for not splashing???? At least put some oomph! into the competition. Like, ummmmm........An award for no splash back.......Whilst crossing swords!!!!! See!! huh!! now we're talking

:guitarist:wah:

TÃ½r · Post by **TÃ½r** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:06 pm

I think we should hear from the circumcised. Those of us with an omnidirectional spray head stand little chance of accuracy even on those few occasions when we have time to consider matters beyond immediate relief. The circumcised, by contrast, at least when sober, ought to achieve the sort of result fuzzy lays claim to.

A few more male voices would be welcome at this stage.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:08 pm

TÃ½r;1439917 wrote: A few more male voices would be welcome at this stage.

I am trying to deepen my voice, didn't think anyone would notice.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:20 pm

You guys are funny . You could always do what I make my own boys and male visitors do. (albeit it's a water saving argument) I make every male go outside to pee. Secondary outcome of this means no splash back.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:31 pm

TÃ½r;1439917 wrote: The circumcised, by contrast, at least when sober, ought to achieve the sort of result fuzzy lays claim to.

I'll deepen my voice to if you like. Hey it's an art I respect. You try sqwatting in long grass at the back of the shearing shed with the real possibility of blacks and browns biting your bum and see how you fair.

TÃ½r · Post by **TÃ½r** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:33 pm

The days of the urban thunderbox are behind us in this country, fuzz. Few of us could even summon up a large enough patch of grass much less an outhouse.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Nov 08, 2013 3:40 pm

Thunderbox? Wow you don't hear that word anymore . My mum speaks of the days of the clippity clop of horses hooves as the thunderbox guy came round I dont' have an outhouse. I send them round the back to a line of trees. That's what you need !!! A Lemon tree!! Water the garden and have spiffy lemons. I'm trying to help you here Tyr,