One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up" she purred, "and you can do anything you want". So he tied her up and went golfing.
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful .. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her,
"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent
on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer. :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Little Stories For A Chuckle
Little Stories For A Chuckle
:yh_rotfl The lottery one brings back memories.:yh_rotfl
Little Stories For A Chuckle
hoppy;1295606 wrote: :yh_rotfl The lottery one brings back memories.:yh_rotfl
Were you that guy? :rolleyes: :wah::wah::wah:
Were you that guy? :rolleyes: :wah::wah::wah:
Little Stories For A Chuckle
Rapunzel;1295608 wrote: Were you that guy? :rolleyes: :wah::wah::wah:
Substitute boyfriend for lottery and that's me.:yh_rotfl
Substitute boyfriend for lottery and that's me.:yh_rotfl
Little Stories For A Chuckle
hoppy;1295615 wrote: Substitute boyfriend for lottery and that's me.:yh_rotfl
Oops!
You're better off without her then. :rolleyes:
Oops!
You're better off without her then. :rolleyes: