Catholic heart attack

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
Post Reply
User avatar
beowulf
Posts: 685
Joined: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:41 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by beowulf »

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital.

As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment.

She asked if he had health insurance.

He replied, in a raspy voice, 'No health insurance.'

The nun asked if he had money in the bank.

He replied. 'No money in the bank.'

The nun asked, 'Do you have a relative who could help you?'

He said, 'I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun.'

The nun became agitated and announced loudly, 'Nuns are not spinsters!

Nuns are married to God.'

The patient replied, 'Then send the bill to my brother-in-law!'

__________________
The dogs philosophy on life. If you cant eat it, hump it or fight it,........ Pee on it and walk away!!



(/)

(-_-)

(")(")

gmc
Posts: 13566
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:44 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by gmc »

Thank goodness I live in a godless country where thanks to socialist principles you don't get asked questions like how are you going to pay for your treatment.
hoppy
Posts: 4561
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:58 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by hoppy »

gmc;1295518 wrote: Thank goodness I live in a godless country where thanks to socialist principles you don't get asked questions like how are you going to pay for your treatment.


You don't get asked anything much. You get told.:yh_rotfl
gmc
Posts: 13566
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:44 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by gmc »

hoppy;1295528 wrote: You don't get asked anything much. You get told.:yh_rotfl


Have you been watching american TV again-where you only get told what they want you to hear:sneaky:
hoppy
Posts: 4561
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:58 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by hoppy »

gmc;1295678 wrote: Have you been watching american TV again-where you only get told what they want you to hear:sneaky:


You must be watching Brian Williams on NBC news. Most Americans are smart enough to read between the lines and sort out the bull puckey. :yh_rotfl
gmc
Posts: 13566
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:44 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by gmc »

hoppy;1295716 wrote: Most Americans are smart enough to read between the lines and sort out the bull puckey. :yh_rotfl


so state funding works in some areas then? Assuming education is state funded that is.
hoppy
Posts: 4561
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:58 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by hoppy »

gmc;1295727 wrote: so state funding works in some areas then? Assuming education is state funded that is.


Dunno. I attended a Catholic school.:)
gmc
Posts: 13566
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:44 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by gmc »

hoppy;1295748 wrote: Dunno. I attended a Catholic school.:)


I hope you have recovered in that case.

:sneaky:

YouTube - Liam Clancy - The Sash My Father Wore

:lips::lips::lips:
hoppy
Posts: 4561
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:58 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by hoppy »

gmc;1295771 wrote: I hope you have recovered in that case.

:sneaky:

YouTube - Liam Clancy - The Sash My Father Wore

:lips::lips::lips:


Recovered? Back then Catholic schoolers were nearly 1 grade smarter than public schoolers. A highschool education then was about equal to one year college today.
gmc
Posts: 13566
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:44 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by gmc »

hoppy;1295775 wrote: Recovered? Back then Catholic schoolers were nearly 1 grade smarter than public schoolers. A highschool education then was about equal to one year college today.


Is that not more due to the fact that they were selective about who got in? Here they effectively select for ability the way the old grammar schools did-the thickos get rejected and sent to the ordinary comprehensive. Faith schools are a political issue here as the catholic schools are state funded yet not open to all.They keep sectarianism alive and thriving. Don;t suppose you have quite the same problems with that though.
hoppy
Posts: 4561
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 8:58 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by hoppy »

gmc;1295844 wrote: Is that not more due to the fact that they were selective about who got in? Here they effectively select for ability the way the old grammar schools did-the thickos get rejected and sent to the ordinary comprehensive. Faith schools are a political issue here as the catholic schools are state funded yet not open to all.They keep sectarianism alive and thriving. Don;t suppose you have quite the same problems with that though.


Not too selective. They let me in, and any non-Catholics who wanted. Smaller classes and better teaching methods I would say.
gmc
Posts: 13566
Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 9:44 am

Catholic heart attack

Post by gmc »

hoppy;1296046 wrote: Not too selective. They let me in, and any non-Catholics who wanted. Smaller classes and better teaching methods I would say.


yep that as well. It's not that faith schools are somehow better educators because they are faith based they get to turf out disruptive pupils and keep class sizes down. At least here they do. Personally I would ban them and is people want them pay for them themselves I object strongly to having state resources spent that way they're divisive and cause friction where none needed to be. When I was at primary school they opened a catholic school in the town. We went, at eight years old, from knowing nothing about sectarianism to fights after school between protestant and catholic.
Post Reply

Return to “Just For The Fun Of It”