Internet Friends for Real

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:27 pm

have you made real-life friends on the internet? i have...people who are now in my real life and important to me....to name a few, Lovemama, Carla, BabyRider, Abbey, Koan, polycarp, Der Wulf, many others. the people i mentioned are like family. how has the internet expanded your group of friends? in reality.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:42 pm

LADYCOP,

Having become your friend through the internet has been wonderful. I to consider you as family.. YOU ARE ONE GREAT FRIEND..

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 9:57 pm

I guess I am a natural born cynic. I have been enjoying the net since the 80's, back when there was SPRY MOSAIC & Compuserve was about the only ISP. I have participated in many forums & newsgroups and have developed no lasting friendships. Internet contacts lack eye & any other physical contact that helps us to discern truth from fiction. We can be anyone we want to be on the net, say anything we want and lie up a storm, and while I enjoy the net contacts and the give and take, I take most everything with a grain of salt. If you want to see a pathetic group of lonely isolated people, look at some of the Senior forums (my peer group) and the conversations they have.

I can appreciate and understand how the net can be a social outlet for many of them, but boy are they gullible and vulnerable.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 10:49 pm

The search for friends in this world can be a bitter and disappointing adventure. I have been fooled online and IRL. There doesn't seem much difference to me in percentages. OTOH I get more support in my daily life from my online friends than my RL friends. In fact the real life friends that I still talk to on a regular basis who have stood the test of time communicate with me mostly by email lately.

I get more social stimulation from my online friends than in any person to person conversation I've had in years.

Overall, I would say I've learned more about what a good friend is through the internet than I have in the trials and tribulations of supposed friends I have met over the last ten years.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:24 am

There was a time when peoples only means of communicating with each other was letter writing. The ability to communicate effectively using the written word was an art. Strong and lasting relationships were often created and maintained through the use of this medium. There have been love affairs that have earned

a place in history.. that were formed through written communication only. Having come face to face with many liars and manipulators... I am certain that there is the potential on the internet to find, form , and perhaps keep a lasting friendship.

Of course it would take someone with life experience, and the ability to discern good human characteristics from bad.. to make friends this way. All things are possible.

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:14 am

Posted by Lon:

I guess I am a natural born cynic. I have been enjoying the net since the 80's, back when there was SPRY MOSAIC & Compuserve was about the only ISP. I have participated in many forums & newsgroups and have developed no lasting friendships. Internet contacts lack eye & any other physical contact that helps us to discern truth from fiction. We can be anyone we want to be on the net, say anything we want and lie up a storm, and while I enjoy the net contacts and the give and take, I take most everything with a grain of salt. If you want to see a pathetic group of lonely isolated people, look at some of the Senior forums (my peer group) and the conversations they have.

I can appreciate and understand how the net can be a social outlet for many of them, but boy are they gullible and vulnerable

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I hate to admit it but I guess I have to agree with Lon. People "do" (not can) say anything they want on line to win your favor! You have no way of knowing how much of it is, using lady cop's phrase "bullocks"! Sorry to open an old wound, but see what just happened to Koan. :wah:

Cars :driving:

LoveMama · Post by **LoveMama** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:23 am

Gosh, I've been on the Internet for years and yes, I have met some very lovely people.

I started out years ago joining a cooking club and met some dear people who I will always remember. I was doing a cookbook myself at the time and was including some of the members so they all sent me their photos and I had a face to put with their names and recipes. One of my favorite gals was Chinese and her husband was Mexican......lived in Los Angeles and used to send me Chinese noodles as her Mexican husband owned a noodle company! LOL...I'm still in touch with her and she is like family to me. I know all of her kids names.....and each holiday we talk to each other...albiet over the internet.

This cooking club on the internet was not an ordinary internet forum.

One of the gals' there won a the James Beard award for her cookbook and our moderater of the club "Charlie" wrote the funniest cookbook I've ever read and sent one to all us for the downright cheap price of $2.00 which had to be less than the cost of printing them. I still use his "Charlie's Seasoning" regularly.

It's equal parts of ground pepper, onion power, garlic powder and dried chives!

No salt. Well, Charlie had high blood pressure and couldn't eat salt. You could add it if you liked! Charlie was the star of the forum and I miss him. I miss all of them.

Also met some super nice people on a Crime forum....two of which are on this site. Lady Cop and Carla are like family to me. Carla will know that it's raining this morning because we live in the same town in Southern CA... I'm afraid that Lady Cop will soon be posting about the hurricanes that will be coming to Florida. She's much better at describing them then the media! I just cringe when I read her hurricane posts!

I don't like chat rooms..and never go into them. I also don't like instant messages. They annoy me. I love getting email from good friends.....

Now I've got to clean up my house....son is putting in a Gorgeous new fireplace which I hope....I can get a photo of and will post it. ....

Have a GREAT day all of you.

xxxxxxooo

mama

TMC · Post by **TMC** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:34 am

I hate to admit it but I guess I have to agree with Lon. People "do" (not can) say anything they want on line to win your favor! You have no way of knowing how much of it is, using lady cop's phrase "bullocks" :wah:

Cars :driving:

Ditto

devist8me · Post by **devist8me** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:46 am

I've only met 3 people IRL that I've met on the internet. I got to know them after several months of chatting and emails (or real mail). All were really nice and like I pictured they would be, but only 1 is someone I would like to spend any time with IRL. She lives in New York so thats not possible but we do email and write to each other on occasion. The other 2 were pleasant but just not the type I would spend a lot of time with (age difference, interests, etc)

I only go into chat rooms when I'm just really bored and can't find anything else to do. I get tired of "hey baby" or "hi sexy" IM's that accompany popping in and out of chat rooms. I do have yahoo and msnmessenger with fairly long contact lists. I like talking back and forth with friends that I know or have gotten to know thru the internet. I also have a webcam and some of my friends do to. I like being able to see them while chatting, seems to make the conversation more personal, even if they are just sitting at a desk. Facial expressions say a lot too.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:00 am

I've talked to a guy out in California for 6 years now. We don't talk too often any more, but I'd love to meet him and his wife IRL some day. Most people on the net, when they tell me something, I think "Uh huh. Sure." Don't believe much of what I read. I see no reason to lie on the internet. After all, I'm probably not going to meet any of these people.

I did talk in a local chatroom, met the people IRL, and most were the same online as in real life. We still keep in touch through Yahoo IM even though the room shut down. I think I am less cynical if the other person knows that we are close enough in distance that I could find out the truth about them.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 7:12 am

(and oh, have I seen the lying and nasitness that can come from internet anonymity, but I'm not even going there)

Haha...keyboard Rambo's as I like to call them.

I know what you mean about the chatrooms. I swear in Yahoo you can go into an "In Mourning" room and still some freak will hit on you!

devist8me · Post by **devist8me** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:56 am

mzsandeestar wrote: I read somewhere that someone was thinking about adding chat here. If you need someone to spend some time and try to make the chat focus on interesting topics, I'd be willing to help.
I've been on two forums that had chat. One was linked to an actual chat room, but hardly was there ever anyone in there. The other one had a chat box at the bottom of the screen which updated every time you changed pages. That one was ok, but chat was usually just short messages to those online at the moment.

I would be there a lot most likely, if it was ever offered here.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:12 am

Yes, I discovered people are not always as they seem online but neither are they in RL either. As someone who has had a bad experience I can also tell you that I don't apply that to everyone I've met online. I most definately learned about internet romance and don't trust it anymore but that is not why I joined the forum. It is more likely that someone is misrepresenting themselves if they are trying to make a love connection. Friendships I have found to be more reliable. But I definately would not meet in person again without some caution.

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:41 am

Yes I have made real time friends up here. I am planning on marrying my love in the near future that I met on hot or not..........(hmmm)

I feel you have a better chance of meeting a better class of people up here than say a bar. Maybe I am gullible in a way, as I say what I feel and am who I am up here or in my real life. I think for the most part you see the real side of people up here. It all depends where you hang out. Real life is the same way too I think. If you hang out down on the corner where crack and gangs are rampant you will get a lower class of people. If you hang out with your family and stay away from swarthy places you will meet more honest people.

I, like Lon have been playing with the internet since its beginnings. A 1200 baud connection was FAST back then. There were no browsers. Everything was a command you typed in.

To get to my point, what really got me up here was my fascination of Genealogy.

I have met some of the most caring, giving people who are involved in it.

I have had Civil War records, census's, pictures etc... sent to me at their expense. Phone calls, that confirmed some of my hunches, real time meetings with 4th cousins 4 times removed.

Hope this makes all sense......

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 10:05 am

I guess I just found out you can really make some good friends on the Internet.

Another thread said lady cop is leaving the Forum Garden. She will truly be missed by me if she does'nt change her mind!!!!! I didn't realize how much of a friend she has become until now, that she is going away!!!

lady cop you must change your mind, and stay with us here and keep us all on the straight & narrow path!! :-5

Cars :driving:

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 1:55 pm

Interesting, isn't it? Because of net friendships and emotionalism connected to this forum we have two participant's that are deciding to leave that were otherwise pretty good and interesting participants. Pity!!!

anastrophe · Post by **anastrophe** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:55 pm

i'm doing the best i can to remedy the damage i wrought in response to the damage ladycop wrought. i'm hoping she'll stay.

stepping back for a moment, it's all rather sadly funny, how tightly we can get our knickers knotted up over dark and light shadows on a small device that projects said shadows in front of us. these little letters here can carry an awful lot of weight. you wouldn't really expect it in a lot of ways. i mean, we're all just living inside the matrix, aren't we? it's all an illusion, i saw a movie about it.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 4:55 pm

i would normally caution people. but when i was in the hospital again two weeks ago lovemama sent me real flowers. carla called me on real phone. there are real friends to be made online. it takes time and common sense, but i swear i have been fortunate, i only have had a pc for a year, and been so grateful for my online friends!

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 5:00 pm

anastrophe wrote: i'm doing the best i can to remedy the damage i wrought in response to the damage ladycop wrought. i'm hoping she'll stay.

stepping back for a moment, it's all rather sadly funny, how tightly we can get our knickers knotted up over dark and light shadows on a small device that projects said shadows in front of us. these little letters here can carry an awful lot of weight. you wouldn't really expect it in a lot of ways. i mean, we're all just living inside the matrix, aren't we? it's all an illusion, i saw a movie about it. just saw this...what damage? you are a brilliant and good man. i am sorry i caused you any grief, but as i said elsewhere, it's my own fault.

anastrophe · Post by **anastrophe** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 5:06 pm

lady cop wrote: just saw this...what damage? you are a brilliant and good man. i am sorry i caused you any grief, but as i said elsewhere, it's my own fault.
it's *our* fault.

it takes two to tango. laurel and hardy. ben and jerry. sacco and vanzetti. gladys night and the pips. cher and the entire crew of the U.S.S. Missouri. chocolate and peanut butter. oil and vinegar. drugs and alcohol. any two people placed together inside a kickboxing ring.

or words to that effect.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 5:17 pm

i love you Paul...do what you will.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:01 pm

I've only been on forums (this is my first) since...whenever it was...October? I love that these "little" words mean so much to people. Half the time I try to talk to people IRL they are too busy thinking about something else to listen and I of them.

There is a chemistry between really good friends that you can never verify online but nonetheless they are there when we need them. Even if someone is lying through their nose about who they are (which happens IRL as well) at least they were there for you when they were there. You can get stabbed in the back online (someone sending copies of messages to others etc) the same as it happens over the phone IRL. You can find someone sexy online and have fun flirting only to find out they don't really have any appeal beyond the 'surface'...just like IRL. If out of hundreds only 4 good friends can be found that is still better than none.

It's easier to rant online (people can just ignore it if they want) and easier to apologise (it can also be ignored) but when people respond...hey! all of a sudden I matter.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 8:03 pm

TW2005 wrote: If she were to say that she was coming to America to see me, I think I would get a little afraid.

I don't blame you...but does it take away from the friendship you have because you haven't met?

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 5:51 am

I think its nice when people can say they've made friends through forums etc. People are obviously cautious at first because like in previous posts we could be anyone we want to be and no-one would be any the wiser. But in LC's example where she was sent flowers when in hospital, its nice. For some people it can be a different type of friendship than what you're used to with other friends. Because in cases when you're literally in different countries and can't meet up or go out, it doesn't mean you don't have real friends. A friend is someone who we always be there for you whether that's in the flesh, over the phone or e-mail.

I haven't really made friends here on FG and that's not an insult to people. I'm not usually here long enough and I'm not here at weekends (my computer at home isn't set up 'til we finish decorating). This is the first forum I've been on and I'm still getting used to it. You get to know the 'regulars' and at the moment I still feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I get more enjoyment sometimes from reading the banter between people

But what I will say is I love coming on here because people do seem genuinley lovely, I laugh A LOT and I hope in the future I can make some friends. :-6

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 5:59 am

hey Smithy, can i be your friend?

and if you want a fall down laughing read, see the thread in mental health called RENT HELP NEEDED! whenever i need a laugh i just go read it! i remember "pen pals" as a girl. i think the internet is just a more sophisticated version. it took me a long time to get to know and trust people, and my trust was not misplaced. but i think twice about giving out my email/real name.i have had problems with cop-haters who found me in public records. ..after a while you can judge their character, even online. heck, my son was going to go to CA. and Lovemama and Carla were going to be backup Moms! generous and good ladies! they would have fed him and watched over him, bless them!!

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 6:13 am

lady cop wrote: hey Smithy, can i be your friend?

and if you want a fall down laughing read, see the thread in mental health called RENT HELP NEEDED! whenever i need a laugh i just go read it! i remember "pen pals" as a girl. i think the internet is just a more sophisticated version. it took me a long time to get to know and trust people, and my trust was not misplaced. but i think twice about giving out my email/real name.i have had problems with cop-haters who found me in public records. ..after a while you can judge their character, even online. heck, my son was going to go to CA. and Lovemama and Carla were going to be backup Moms! generous and good ladies! they would have fed him and watched over him, bless them!!

AW thanks LC , of course

It should be me asking you, you're a legend on FG :wah: (note thought-new forum 'FG's Hall of Fame')

I love it here

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 7:14 am

Yes, i do have some "real" internet friends. we think the same and have respect for others in the back ground. you don't have to agree and like everyone here. too much bullying and control seems rampant these days. to be over-bossy and anxious is clearly read on the screen, but that can happen in forums. you can actually read a persons mind almost as they post their most intimate life situations. i am over my addiction to continuos chatter and bull. after awhile you settle back and just watch the show go on. Please, NO HAIR pulling, EYE poking or spitting.

devist8me · Post by **devist8me** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 7:31 am

Agnes, I couldn't agree more! Nicely put.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:20 am

How is it I have missed this thread and it's 4 pages long??? LC is one of my very good friends whom I've met online. I'd love to meet her IRL, and maybe someday that will happen. DerWulf and A Karenina and Carla are others. You can't always tell the freaks and liars from the real folk, but when you meet someone and talk with them for a while, there are friends to be made online. And I'm one of the biggest cynics I know.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:35 am

BabyRider wrote: How is it I have missed this thread and it's 4 pages long??? LC is one of my very good friends whom I've met online. I'd love to meet her IRL, and maybe someday that will happen. DerWulf and A Karenina and Carla are others. You can't always tell the freaks and liars from the real folk, but when you meet someone and talk with them for a while, there are friends to be made online. And I'm one of the biggest cynics I know.

Interesting point there BR and so true about taking the time to talk to some one to find out what they are really like.

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 12:05 pm

I usually try to take the time to get to know everyone before I make assumptions about their character. That is just good common sense.

Sometimes though...you don't have to talk to a person for very long to tell they are a freak or a liar.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 1:40 pm

All it takes is a couple of devastating hurts from real life friends to cure you from jumping into anything too quickly. I have found that the qualities one professes

too often are exactly the things they are not.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 2:10 pm

weeder wrote: All it takes is a couple of devastating hurts from real life friends to cure you from jumping into anything too quickly. I have found that the qualities one professes

too often are exactly the things they are not.

Yep learn from our experiences

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 2:36 pm

I haven't met anyone from the forums in real life, but then I live in "Outer Boondockia" aka New Mexico. We have trouble convincing tourists that we are part of the United States.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 2:48 pm

Jives wrote: I haven't met anyone from the forums in real life, but then I live in "Outer Boondockia" aka New Mexico. We have trouble convincing tourists that we are part of the United States.
What you mean your not part of Mexico ahahahahahaha

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 4:24 pm

(Jives puts on a virtual reality helmet and gloves, then makes throttling motions towards Mink's throat.)