Are Forum Gardeners real ?

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:23 pm

Are we really real people? Or are we cyber inventions? Maybe stock characters like in the early street theatre plays, only modernised.... I was pondering this over my morning coffee - as I considered my fellow players, past and present and wondered at the roles The Great Puppeteer, all hair (oops typo!) all hail Tombstone, has in his wisdom permitted...

Most of the plum jobs have of course already been taken. Soothsayer, prophet, magus, fool, scold, chatterer, grumbler, farmer, sage, goodwife, politician, preacher, brawler, beauty queen etc etc.

I'd kinda hoped that perhaps Poet Laureate or Bard would be vacant. It is, I think. But apparently limerick writing didn't cut it with the Force and I didn't get the job. That sux. And I shall be speaking to my lawyer about it.

Oh yeah... The Lawyer.. another commedia dell'arte character, along with the Plague Doctor and the Beggar and probably a durned CandleStick Maker and Uncle Tom Cobbly and bloody all. Go figger.

Anyway - I'm told that the personality test I had to fill in means that I'm the natural choice for

Resident Axe Murderer*

Today has been like that!!! Sigh

And I'm really such a pussycat. It's not that I'm against killing or even that I don't enjoy it - but heck, if I couldn't be poet, surely I'd have made a fine Chef... Well at least I shall have knives to sharpen, and skewers and boiling oil and .. pant pant pant

*And why not Axe Murderess??? - I'm a girl!!! But no.. it's like Actress apparently. The female ending diminishes the gravitas of the job and the job is certainly grave

Edit:

I've tipped out the absinthe in the goblet in my av. Replaced that with something concocted by an old Florentine family who knew how to live and let die.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:46 pm

From Shakespeare:

"If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that."

Yes.............................we are real.

Snowfire · Post by **Snowfire** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:51 pm

I must be the vagrant, the scruffy itinerant looking for scraps. Toss me some scraps will you. Dont pass me by without so much as a crumb to fill my aching, empty belly. I'll do odd jobs. I could even wipe the blood from your axe and keep it keen if I can sip the drops that drip from that hallucinogenic green fairy.

Can anybody spare a dime ?

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:52 pm

I vote for Poet Laureate. I'd go with Bard but theres too much association with horses and bacon in it. However, if you insist...

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:55 pm

You two make a great team.

Elvira · Post by **Elvira** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:20 pm

Nah, we're defo for real! If we were cyborgs etc, we'd have purpose and no time to post 'feelings squibble' on here!

BTW - am qualified in Psychometric profiling, and Axe murderer is rapidly becoming norming group!!!:wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:40 pm

'Are we really real people? Or are we cyber inventions?'

I certainly hope I'm real or someone else is using my computer!:sneaky::yh_rotfl

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:31 pm

Oh yeah... The Lawyer.. another commedia dell'arte character, along with the Plague Doctor and the Beggar and probably a durned CandleStick Maker and Uncle Tom Cobbly and bloody all. Go figger.

I made a candle once..............do I qualify?

It's the "Tree falling in hte forest" adage pammy . If nobody saw you type it ................................

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:32 pm

along-for-the-ride;1271815 wrote: From Shakespeare:

"If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that."

Yes.............................we are real.

Oh the merchant of Venice...my favourite...............I'm a bit of a Portia you know!!!!!!

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:07 pm

Are we real? Well I think I am ................................................. the rest of you must be holograms ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl :p

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:12 pm

G#Gill;1271884 wrote: Are we real? Well I think I am ................................................. the rest of you must be holograms ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl :p

I'm a figment of your imagination .....................or nightmares, take your pick I'm not fussed.:yh_rotfl

ZAP · Post by **ZAP** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:17 pm

G#Gill;1271884 wrote: Are we real? Well I think I am ................................................. the rest of you must be holograms ! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl :p

I read that fast and thought it said "Holy grams" a reference to the advancing age of some of us . . .er . . .well . . .

I vote for Lady Pam, Poetess Laureatess, Bardess or whatever ---ess she wants to be assigned to her.

And your Ladyship or Ladyess, please don't give up on the limericks. I've been working on one for two days now and if you close that thread what shall I do with it? :-3

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 6:36 pm

These posts brought back memories of Noel Harrison's hit song from 'The Thomas Crown Affair' film !

YouTube - The Windmills of Your Mind

:-6

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 7:49 pm

One of my favourites, Gilly. The film and the song too.

I must say that I had an afterthought as I mined the workday coalface - isn't my calling - my vocation - in Gardenland that of Resident Goddess??? Then I remembered Kali - the Indian goddess earth mother who didn't mind a bit of mayhem too...

"Kali is represented as a Black woman with four arms; in one hand she has a sword, in another the head of the demon she has slain, with the other two she is encouraging her worshippers. For earrings she has two dead bodies and wears a necklace of skulls ; her only clothing is a girdle made of dead men's hands"

Mother Goddess as Kali - The Feminine Force in Indian Art

Sort of appropriate, doncha think?? Exactly me, except for the skin colour, the extra arms and a few other minor details.. grin

I like the idea of worshippers and tribute can be sent to my offshore account in the usual way.

As for the Merchant of Venice, Fuzzy - the quality of mercy is greatly overrated... and not a lot of fun.

:sneaky:

Attached files

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 8:19 pm

Pammy you said you mused over this whilst drinking your morning coffee

what was in that coffee? and may I have some please?

:D

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 9:55 pm

Of course, Fuzzy. It was Jamaica Blue Mountain blend.

I was going to improve on Mr Shakespeare's "As You Like it" but on rereading what he wrote thought he did okay. Of course he never really mastered the limerick form.....

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,

His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:49 am

AussiePam;1271932 wrote: Of course, Fuzzy. It was Jamaica Blue Mountain blend.

I was going to improve on Mr Shakespeare's "As You Like it" but on rereading what he wrote thought he did okay. Of course he never really mastered the limerick form.....

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.

And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,

His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

That guy sure knew how to write... amazing.

I am real! :-6

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:54 am

This reminds me of a MASH episode when the hospital were giving out medicine to locals, the only requirement was they had to show some ID first.

An old Korean man walks up to Hawkeye and says ‘come for medicine’

And Hawkeye says: ‘do you have identification?’

Old man says ‘This is me’

Hawkeye says’ good enough ‘

(by memory and not direct quotes, but along those lines)

Well FG: This is me

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:16 am

Reckon that's good enough.. I'm me too, Mike... but then I'm just not quite sure who me is. This time, I mean. And then which of the me's is the most realest me anyway??

In a previous online life I was the Bard. I was also a part of the multiple persona of Sr Mary HTML in that early internet life. Unlike those known to us here who like to correct spelling and grammar - the good sister corrected HTML markups when we still did that kinda thing. And imbibed port with lemon, for medicinal purposes only. She was very strict, was Sr Mary....

Today, in FG, I feel more like a Greek Chorus, standing outside the action - when there is any action - and commenting on it, or maybe just going off on a tangent to confuse the audience.

The show goes on.

Greasepaint or mask?

Best not to ask.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:29 am

The 5 youâ€™s

1. Who you are

2. The way that you see yourself

3. How other people see you

4. How you think other people see you

5. How other people think you see yourself

All can be very different.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:34 am

That's five at this particular point in time. Tomorrow, there will probably be five more etc ... It kind of adds up. :sneaky:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 7:03 am

mikeinie;1271969 wrote: That guy sure knew how to write... amazing.

I am real! :-6

- Odie knows that first hand.

:-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 9:25 am

It's not that I'm against killing or even that I don't enjoy it

Girls can be axe murderers Pam. Why not? If thats the direction you find yourself wanting to take then you just go get yourself the best axe money can buy and have at it.

Practice practice practice.

Good luck with that sweet pea.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:03 pm

If Nomad hadn't existed, we would have had to invent him.

He does exist

Therefore he is real

This statement demonstrates the particularly beautiful system of classical logic developed specially for the Garden - where the birdies twitter, the flowers bloom, and mistletoe sprouts from the gum trees like hairs from Santa's nose.

Life is short

Live it hard

Go the Vikings

Says the bard