I miss Clair so much

[Clairs Mum]

My name is Karen and my daughter Clair died 4yrs ago at christmas , she was 28yrs old. it was a very tragic death. My son Daniel has had no help in coming to terms with this .

he is 35yrs old now, there was nly 18mths between them.

he has gone off the rails with drink and drugs and I keep expecting the police to knock on the door to tell me he is dead, just like they did with Clair.

I have no other family.

I am at the end of my teyher and I took a overdose on monday. unluckily for me I survived.

any advice please.

lol Karen.

[mikeinie]

I am sorry for your grief and troubles, but the help that you need is beyond an internet forum. Here is a link to crisis hot lines in the UK.

Call someone, a professional; get the real help that you need.

I can’t even begin to imagine your pain.

Crisis Resources Links Updated 07/6/07

Good luck

[Oscar Namechange]

Clairs Mum;1244857 wrote: My name is Karen and my daughter Clair died 4yrs ago at christmas , she was 28yrs old. it was a very tragic death. My son Daniel has had no help in coming to terms with this .

he is 35yrs old now, there was nly 18mths between them.

he has gone off the rails with drink and drugs and I keep expecting the police to knock on the door to tell me he is dead, just like they did with Clair.

I have no other family.

I am at the end of my teyher and I took a overdose on monday. unluckily for me I survived.

any advice please.

lol Karen.
Hi Karen,

I am sorry to hear of your troubles.

Would you like to private message me? What part of Worthing are you from? I will be down to Worthing very soon myself to visit family.

Hows my 'Seagulls' doing?

[flopstock]

Clairs Mum;1244857 wrote: My name is Karen and my daughter Clair died 4yrs ago at christmas , she was 28yrs old. it was a very tragic death. My son Daniel has had no help in coming to terms with this .

he is 35yrs old now, there was nly 18mths between them.

he has gone off the rails with drink and drugs and I keep expecting the police to knock on the door to tell me he is dead, just like they did with Clair.

I have no other family.

I am at the end of my teyher and I took a overdose on monday. unluckily for me I survived.

any advice please.

lol Karen.


I'm curious how your son's inability to cope would be served by you dying?



If the time comes that the police have knocked on your door again, we'll explore options again. But for now, I can't see the plan and can only hope you continue to be a failure at this.



4 years is not much time. A lifetime is not going to seem sufficient, IMO -as a mother.



Hang tough girlie and follow the advice of mikeinie.:-6

[farmer giles]

hey clair i not only know your pain i feel it:(

i lost my daughter Natasha to a hospital blunder

and my younger brothers Casey and Martin died too

my other daughter was taken from me to another country by her mother i had brought her up as a single dad till she was 5 i never saw her her again till she was 17 pain is all i have known but i really believe i would rather feel pain than the numbness

so you are trying to take your own life as you cant cope and your son cant cope

and just what will happen to your son when he is left alone not only alone but with a whole lot more grief and guilt to contend with

i often felt like ending things but the thought of heaping all that pain on my loved ones always stopped me

i suggest you try to help your son more and stop taking the easy way out for you but a very hard way left for your son

grief is all consuming and horrible to live with ,the death of a child even more so ,help your son ,try with everything you have because at the end of the day he is all you have and you are all he has :(:(

[Clodhopper]

So sorry about your desperately sad story. Please follow Mike's advice and contact someone to get help. The Smaritans are good, or perhaps see your gp.

I have a friend who attempted suicide nearly 20 years ago now, after a bereavement. Now, she lives a full life and has at least come to terms with her loss. There is hope, even if in your current depressed state you can't see it.

[Odie]

Clairs Mum;1244857 wrote: My name is Karen and my daughter Clair died 4yrs ago at christmas , she was 28yrs old. it was a very tragic death. My son Daniel has had no help in coming to terms with this .

he is 35yrs old now, there was nly 18mths between them.

he has gone off the rails with drink and drugs and I keep expecting the police to knock on the door to tell me he is dead, just like they did with Clair.

I have no other family.

I am at the end of my teyher and I took a overdose on monday. unluckily for me I survived.

any advice please.

lol Karen.


Karen, I am so so sorry for the tragic loss of your daughter, she was just to young to die.



Daniel does need help, he needs counseling, he should have years ago.

Karen, you also need to seek counseling....now............ they can help you overcome this.



Joan

[lou lou belle]

This is such a sad story. The loss of a child will be with you forever, its how you manage it makes the difference.

You have managed to tell people on this forum, you have already taken one great hurdle.

I am sure that there is hope for you and your son. Dont let one tragedy make it three! You may not know it but everyone has a purpose in this world.

You may not know what that is at the moment. But believe you, one day you will.

What about joining a bereavement group and ask your son to go too?

Its clear that you and him are truly heartbroken, and why would,nt you be?

You can do it, just take the small steps and before you know it you will have walked a mile. :-6

[Clairs Mum]

mikeinie;1244865 wrote: I am sorry for your grief and troubles, but the help that you need is beyond an internet forum. Here is a link to crisis hot lines in the UK.

Call someone, a professional; get the real help that you need.

I can’t even begin to imagine your pain.

Crisis Resources Links Updated 07/6/07

Good luck


No I do not need professional help. I have had enough of that to last me a lifetime. they have now taken me off there books. I have also had counselling. what I need is to talk to other bereaved parents especilly the ones who have had thet dreaded knock on the door. my knock came at 2.30 in the morning and I was alone and had no one to turn too. you also dont undesrstand the abuse my son has put me through. emotional, physical and verball when he is off his head.

I always think I must be a bad person to suffer this much. perhaps now you can see why I want to die sometimes. lol karen

[along-for-the-ride]

"what I need is to talk to other bereaved parents"

There must be a support group in your area for bereaved parents. Check it out. What you need is personal contact with others.....face to face.

We can claim to share your pain, sympathize with your loss, and understand that you miss your child. And we would be sincere. But would you believe us?

[Clodhopper]

I always think I must be a bad person to suffer this much. perhaps now you can see why I want to die sometimes. lol karen


God I know this one. Different reasons, but I know this one. I have no time for counsellors either. Mostly bl**dy perverts. I recommended them because they really appear to help so many people. But in my experience there is no-one to rely on but yourself. You are still alive. I know what it is to have those you love the most tell you you are sh*t.

You've come here and told us. So you want to live. Then live. Look outside yourself. Look at the world around you - the whole of it. This is an amazing place. The people may be sh*t, but this is still an amazing and beautiful place. You've a couple of dozen years to see it and you will die anyway. Eternity is very long; life is short. Bear it for the few more years more you have. You might be surprised.

[farmer giles]

Clairs Mum;1245319 wrote: No I do not need professional help. I have had enough of that to last me a lifetime. they have now taken me off there books. I have also had counselling. what I need is to talk to other bereaved parents especilly the ones who have had thet dreaded knock on the door. my knock came at 2.30 in the morning and I was alone and had no one to turn too. you also dont undesrstand the abuse my son has put me through. emotional, physical and verball when he is off his head.

I always think I must be a bad person to suffer this much. perhaps now you can see why I want to die sometimes. lol karen


i watched my daughter die and watched as the machines went off one by one and watched as the latline machine made that horrible noise

i had the knock on the door from my cuz jess el guopo here at 3 am to tell my my younger brother casey had died in a house fire,looking through his burned out home was pretty grim

like your son i turned to drink but am pleasd to say have been sober for nearly four months

if you need to talk about anything i'm here but i dont do the i know how you feeel stuff even though i do know how you feel

i'm more of a lets help your son and move you away from this all consuming grief to a happier place man

grief is only here for a while it goes you and your son will and an move on

thats if you dont try to kill yourselves in the meantime that is

if today is not the worst day you have ever had then things must be getting better :-6:-6:-6

[Clairs Mum]

hi everyone. thankyou all for your kind words.

my son daniel has been sent to prison this week on remand and i am so happy!!!!

the reason I am happy is at least he wont die on me. He is now detoxing off alcahol. the doctor said he had months left to live if he didnt stop drinking.

I feel like a big weight has been taken off my shoulders, he is going to be away for a few years and now I can get on with my life.

he wrote me a lovely letter apologising for everything he had done. and it was like magic.

I do not want to die now this is a fresh start for both of us. lol karen xxx

[AussiePam]

Oh Karen !!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you.