My excuse.........

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 6:34 am

Some of the more intellectualy aware dwellers in the belly of the beast that is FG may have noticed – no doubt with great delight – that I have been conspicuously not here lately. This was due to my computer dying last month. Now, this death of a computer was not of the normal sort, there was no crashing involved. The bloody thing just wouldn't switch on. No lights, no funny noises no nothing.

Now Iwas just about to take the bloody thing (herein after referred to as TBT) outside and introduce it to my favourite gardening implement - a 10lb lumphammer when it hit me in a blaze of light, I remembered TBT was still under warranty!! (Is that allowed?)

As TBT was thusly rendered (maybe) fixable at no cost to myself and my pronounced lack of financial health, I gave up on my planned dismemberisation of the aforesaid computer and retired to phone the supplier of TBT. Whereupon myself entered upon a campaign of terror waged against the telephonic support of a certain manufracturers of computers. This campaign was long-lasting, frustrating and required the ingestion of beaucoup vin d'Ecosse (appellation cÃ´ntrollée).

After much effort and extertion against the automated “telephone menu, consisting of much elevator “musicenlivened with little breaks for announcements of the usual type, you know, “Your custom is valuable to us (insert imprecation of choice) and “Our agents are fully engaged at the moment (engaged in what exactly?). Myself fought my way through to the really irritating If you wish to inquire about our products, Press 1, “If you wish to (insert wish), Press 2, right up to “If you wish to speak to a real live human being, Press 666 (and wait for the maniacal laughter) bit.

With the expenditure of much time, energy and swearies, myself eventually reached the dizzying heights of that magical and mythological holy of holies – the legendary “Help Desk. That which is manned (personed? minioned?) by acolytes of the tribes of PC. Those who follow the teachings of the anti-christ which is called by the name of Bill Gates. Going by the time it took to be reaching the aforesaid holy of holies, that place was somewhere in the Andromeda Galaxy or maybe the Crab Nebula. To this real live (I think) acolyte, myself described the symptoms of the dead computer (i.e. no bloody workin) agreement was reached that TBT would be collected ASAP (it actually took six days), but collected it was.

It was agreed between myself and the possibly live acolyte that TBT would be returned to the manufracturer to be fixed and returned within the present millenium.

Next time I'm getting a bloody Mac.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:01 am

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Brilliant!

You know it still won't work when it comes back, but will probably short out your whole town, don't you?

(vaguely remembered) Computer Haiku:

There's no point screaming:

I am the Blue Screen of Death,

Your data has gone.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:06 am

Sounds like your power supply went out which turns the fans to keep it cool. When that happens they won't turn on or they would burn up its a fail safe mechanism. Mac or PC it can happen to either.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:12 am

I wondered where you'd got to...... I actually missed your caustic posts.

Glad your back young yin.

I did have similar probs with my pc plus my printer would suddenly spring into life for no apparent reason and frighten the life out of me. The mystery was not solved until one night i could hear an old man wheezing coming out of my speakers. As i was fleeing the room convinced my pc was possessed i happened to notice my elderly Persion cat who snores asleep under the pc on top of my printer.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 7:50 am

oscar;1175957 wrote: I wondered where you'd got to...... I actually missed your caustic posts.

Glad your back young yin.

I did have similar probs with my pc plus my printer would suddenly spring into life for no apparent reason and frighten the life out of me. The mystery was not solved until one night i could hear an old man wheezing coming out of my speakers. As i was fleeing the room convinced my pc was possessed i happened to notice my elderly Persion cat who snores asleep under the pc on top of my printer.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:45 am

Welcome back, both you and TBT.

:)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:09 am

Its the Scottish curse.

You cant run, you cant hide.

Its your shadow.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:13 am

qsducks;1175976 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Every time the cat stretched, the printer would spring into life. She wasted so much paper :wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:33 am

oscar;1176060 wrote: Every time the cat stretched, the printer would spring into life. She wasted so much paper :wah:

If you are sitting in my pc chair and just push the printer with your foot and turns on but if you pull it back it dies.:-5

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:38 am

qsducks;1176068 wrote: If you are sitting in my pc chair and just push the printer with your foot and turns on but if you pull it back it dies.:-5 I was so dumb because my pc was dying on me for ages. I checked every cable, plug and connection and all the time 'Peanut' was having a snooze on the router and over-heating it. :yh_rotfl

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:31 am

Welcome back Chookie:-6

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 2:23 pm

Chookie;1175926 wrote: Next time I'm getting a bloody Mac.

I feel for you! And agree with you about the Mac!

Welcome back, it's good to see you posting again. :-6

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:27 pm

Some of the more intellectualy aware dwellers in the belly of the beast that is FG may have noticed – no doubt with great delight –that I have been conspicuously not here lately

Hmmm I hadn't noticed you'd been missing. Kind of sums it up in a nut shell really.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 5:30 pm

Welcome back Chookie :-6

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:02 pm

Some of the more intellectualy aware dwellers in the belly of the beast don't wanna' hear any excuses... just get back on here and post!

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:45 am

CARLA;1175954 wrote: Sounds like your power supply went out which turns the fans to keep it cool. When that happens they won't turn on or they would burn up its a fail safe mechanism. Mac or PC it can happen to either.

Nope, not the power supply. Everything is surge-protected and we haven't had any power cuts for a couple of years.....

minks;1176040 wrote: Welcome back, both you and TBT.

:)

Ah, well..... we're not back yet. TBT is still off doing the computery equivalent of sitting by the pool ogling the talent.......

Me? :-1 :-1