Catty Women co-workers

[Boogalette]

First off, I'm a woman and I've participated in the above I am about to document. That being said, it's been a long time since I've participated in this behavior.

We have a new manager. She is a hard ass. She tells you what you need to do to hit your stats. She delivers it plain, and people know this.

The majority in my group do not like her or her style. I myself can appreciate it because I know where I stand with her. It can be up or it can be down, but I know where I am. It can be brutal, she does not coddle. Could she use some sensitivity training? I don't think so, but some do. She gave 2 a hard time on their stats and as a result of that, she is being demonized.

It has spiraled out of control. It is known that I don't share this opinion, and as a result of that they think I'm 'on her side'.

Why does there have to be sides?

They now think that I am a 'mole'. They think I have one off's with her so I can report the goings on to her.

I don't, I have had just as many one on one's as the rest of them had. There are no secret meetings.

This is confirmed. One of the girls told me after I asked.

I'm hurt and pissed.

The team is under large amounts of stress, and is it possible that they are just looking for a scapegoat, someone to target to direct their frustrations at? Maybe.

I'm not going to take this, I'm incredibly pissed.

I'm actually half inclined to tell my manager about this....turnabout is fair play...

[Oscar Namechange]

Boogalette;1162049 wrote:



I'm actually half inclined to tell my manager about this....turnabout is fair play... I wouldn't. Don't under-estimate that she can see for herself what is going on around her.

I used to be a woman boss in a company of 40 branches for years. My nickname was 'The smiling assassin'. Any shyte from any of them and they were gone. You may be seen as causing trouble. I wouldn't risk it. Also if it gets out you have told her, you will be seen as a brown-nose as well as a mole. Just sit back for a while would be my humble advice.

I remember one day my divisional manager ringing me. In the morning i had 63 staff under me, by the evening, I had 27 left. He said 'you can't do that' but i did.

Oh happy days.

[minks]

Boogalette;1162049 wrote: First off, I'm a woman and I've participated in the above I am about to document. That being said, it's been a long time since I've participated in this behavior.

We have a new manager. She is a hard ass. She tells you what you need to do to hit your stats. She delivers it plain, and people know this.

The majority in my group do not like her or her style. I myself can appreciate it because I know where I stand with her. It can be up or it can be down, but I know where I am. It can be brutal, she does not coddle. Could she use some sensitivity training? I don't think so, but some do. She gave 2 a hard time on their stats and as a result of that, she is being demonized.

It has spiraled out of control. It is known that I don't share this opinion, and as a result of that they think I'm 'on her side'.

Why does there have to be sides?

They now think that I am a 'mole'. They think I have one off's with her so I can report the goings on to her.

I don't, I have had just as many one on one's as the rest of them had. There are no secret meetings.

This is confirmed. One of the girls told me after I asked.

I'm hurt and pissed.

The team is under large amounts of stress, and is it possible that they are just looking for a scapegoat, someone to target to direct their frustrations at? Maybe.

I'm not going to take this, I'm incredibly pissed.

I'm actually half inclined to tell my manager about this....turnabout is fair play...


Work isn't always fair is it. I can only say don't tell the manager right now. Given todays economy you could be out of a job at the snap of fingers.

We don't go to work to make new friends. I would say just do the job and things are bound to pan out in the end, someone somewhere will see something. Don't be the mole they think you are.

Just my opinion.

[Boogalette]

oscar;1162052 wrote: I wouldn't. Don't under-estimate that she can see for herself what is going on around her.

I used to be a woman boss in a company of 40 branches for years. My nickname was 'The smiling assassin'. Any shyte from any of them and they were gone. You may be seen as causing trouble. I wouldn't risk it. Also if it gets out you have told her, you will be seen as a brown-nose as well as a mole. Just sit back for a while would be my humble advice.

I remember one day my divisional manager ringing me. In the morning i had 63 staff under me, by the evening, I had 27 left. He said 'you can't do that' but i did.

Oh happy days.


You sound like a hard ass too I prefer straight on and simple speak.

I will not let her know, and I will give her the credit that she knows what is going on with the team.

I can assure you that I am not a brown noser...you can tell by the fact that I have not risen amongst the ranks.

I am going to let them know that I do not appreciate their unfounded facts. I am very pissed right now, and I am gong to stay home tomorrow becasue if I don;t I'm going to react emotionally.

That will not do me any good.

[Boogalette]

minks;1162056 wrote: Work isn't always fair is it. I can only say don't tell the manager right now. Given todays economy you could be out of a job at the snap of fingers.

We don't go to work to make new friends. I would say just do the job and things are bound to pan out in the end, someone somewhere will see something. Don't be the mole they think you are.

Just my opinion.


Opinions are wanted or I wold not have posted the issue

I'm going to do what I need to do, I'm not going to change a thing about my routine.

I'm not doing anything improper, and I'm not sure why they think I may be.

You're right, they are not my friends. A shame too, I thought a few of them were. It's very disappointing to discover this at this point in the game.

[Oscar Namechange]

Boogalette;1162108 wrote: You sound like a hard ass too I prefer straight on and simple speak.

I will not let her know, and I will give her the credit that she knows what is going on with the team.

I can assure you that I am not a brown noser...you can tell by the fact that I have not risen amongst the ranks.

I am going to let them know that I do not appreciate their unfounded facts. I am very pissed right now, and I am gong to stay home tomorrow becasue if I don;t I'm going to react emotionally.

That will not do me any good. Good thinking. If she is aware what is going on, she will appreciate you all the more for being neutral and not taking sides. My most valued staff were always the one's who put the company first and ignored what i used to call 'The Kitchen Sink gossip'. That's where they congregated in coffee breaks. If she is as i used to be, she will put the company first. Anyone who is seen to do like-wise will be rewarded. In an office enviroment, gossip can cause havoc even bringing down production. I always remember that the most successful bosses above me were always the hard bastards who would replace you at a drop of a hat. That's why they are successful. You don't become successful pandering to people.

Your doing the right thing in MHO.

[Patsy Warnick]

Your manager already knows....

she's very intuitive - she knows body language - she's manager for a reason..

do not go to her - do not contribute to the under current - just do your job, be civil to all..

OHHHHHH - I hate this crap at a work place. woman are vicious..?

usually due to jealousy..

Good luck

Patsy

[minks]

Patsy Warnick;1162122 wrote: Your manager already knows....

she's very intuitive - she knows body language - she's manager for a reason..

do not go to her - do not contribute to the under current - just do your job, be civil to all..

OHHHHHH - I hate this crap at a work place. woman are vicious..?

usually due to jealousy..

Good luck

Patsy


Men can be the same, we get it here all the time.:-5 I agree go to work do the job let the managers manage.

[along-for-the-ride]

I also work in an office...........for 15 years. Male co-workers can just as much a pain in the a$$ as a female co-worker at times.

You are not going to change your co-workers or their behavior.

You can only do your job. Be professional.

You only respond when someone approaches you personally. Then, you take it out of the office..........one on one. On your time.

You sound confident that you know your job well . Don't stoop to their level.



Unfortunately, we are all expendable. Especially them.

[minks]

along-for-the-ride;1162151 wrote: I also work in an office...........for 15 years. Male co-workers can just as much a pain in the a$$ as a female co-worker at times.

You are not going to change your co-workers or their behavior.

You can only do your job. Be professional.

You only respond when someone approaches you personally. Then, you take it out of the office..........one on one. On your time.

You sound confident that you know your job well . Don't stoop to their level.



Unfortunately, we are all expendable. Especially them.


very well put AFTR

[Boogalette]

Patsy Warnick;1162122 wrote: Your manager already knows....

she's very intuitive - she knows body language - she's manager for a reason..

do not go to her - do not contribute to the under current - just do your job, be civil to all..

OHHHHHH - I hate this crap at a work place. woman are vicious..?

usually due to jealousy..

Good luck

Patsy


Oh these ones are very good at being fake and phony, it's brutal. I've been with them for a number of years.

Jealous? Normally, I would not say so,but I would think so in this case. I think they do not understand why I'm not reacting the way they are. they want me to be all indignant and whispery...I'm so tired of doing that, it's done me no favors. I have enough issues and at this point I'm trying to let go of ****.

this is not helping.

I hope you're correct; I hope my manager knows what is going on.

[Boogalette]

along-for-the-ride;1162151 wrote: I also work in an office...........for 15 years. Male co-workers can just as much a pain in the a$$ as a female co-worker at times.

You are not going to change your co-workers or their behavior.

You can only do your job. Be professional.

You only respond when someone approaches you personally. Then, you take it out of the office..........one on one. On your time.

You sound confident that you know your job well . Don't stoop to their level.



Unfortunately, we are all expendable. Especially them.


This is true, the expendable part.

I am too, I recognize that. This is the times we live in.

Funny, the girl who is initiating all of this BS is the girl who has worried about losing her job for years. She is also the one with the husband who makes 120K/year. She doesn't need to work.

She is also one of the most incompetent employees ever, but everyone covers for her. I'm not, as this is not the first time she's gotten her ass up in the air about me.

BLARG!!1:-5

[Odie]

always try and be the bigger person at work, I know its not easy.

women co-workers are nasty and deceiving, just when you think you have found a friend.......



go in each day and just do your job..........its just not worth the hassles.

trust me, been there so many times.....and its hurtful and downright disgusting how some will treat you.

[Boogalette]

Odie;1162309 wrote: always try and be the bigger person at work, I know its not easy.

women co-workers are nasty and deceiving, just when you think you have found a friend.......



go in each day and just do your job..........its just not worth the hassles.

trust me, been there so many times.....and its hurtful and downright disgusting how some will treat you.


It's brutal. And you're right, it's not fair. This happens in thousands of offices everyday.

Sometimes I think I'm the only person I now that refuses to go along with the flow if I don't agree with it.

It feels that way, although I'm sure it's not true.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow, and clean the house. I could do some work from home, but I'm not going to. I'm going to do laundry...that won't whisper about me.

[Odie]

Boogalette;1162319 wrote: It's brutal. And you're right, it's not fair. This happens in thousands of offices everyday.

Sometimes I think I'm the only person I now that refuses to go along with the flow if I don't agree with it.

It feels that way, although I'm sure it's not true.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow, and clean the house. I could do some work from home, but I'm not going to. I'm going to do laundry...that won't whisper about me.


It is really brutal the workforce with women......and they are smart enough not to say anything around anyone else.:sneaky:;)



The stores and tears I could tell you!

happy to hear your taking tomorrow off.:-4

[Boogalette]

Odie;1162330 wrote: It is really brutal the workforce with women......and they are smart enough not to say anything around anyone else.:sneaky:;)



The stores and tears I could tell you!

happy to hear your taking tomorrow off.:-4


Yeah, well, my feelings are pretty hurt right now, and I'm not interested in seeing those responsible for that.

I thought they were friends of mine, and that is what hurts the most.

[chonsigirl]

Ah, I had the hard day today. Going into school, I was the big piece of gossip by being sent to another school. It was the women who talked, but only one or two had something negative to say. The students will not know, that is not professional for them to know. I endured what I think was the worst of the days until the last day, and had those who made the decision smile at me and say hi like things were normal. I want a good recommendation, which I know they must give me. So you do what you have to, and do not dwell on it. You go home, and live life, which is what counts.

[CARLA]

Go in do your work and go home. If you doing your job you have nothing to worry about. In these tough times its not wise to bring attention to yourself. Let the others shoot themselves in the foot. Don't kid yourself the manager knows what's going on and probably one of the other members of the staff is the mole. Women in the work place can be very nasty I trust no one and say as little as possible to others and it will always come back to haunt you. Let them think what they want you know the truth.

[Odie]

chonsigirl;1162351 wrote: Ah, I had the hard day today. Going into school, I was the big piece of gossip by being sent to another school. It was the women who talked, but only one or two had something negative to say. The students will not know, that is not professional for them to know. I endured what I think was the worst of the days until the last day, and had those who made the decision smile at me and say hi like things were normal. I want a good recommendation, which I know they must give me. So you do what you have to, and do not dwell on it. You go home, and live life, which is what counts.


I was wondering how you did today, and so sorry they`re were negative attitudes.......yes, that's women.

You did the right thing, you need a great recommendation, so why take chances..........everyone is there to just work.....and that`s it.......sad as it may be.

[Boogalette]

I was thinking about this 'mole' thing.....

They really must be reaching if they think I (or anyone else for that matter)is a mole. There is nothing to gain by doing that. It would not keep me employed as these decisions are based on numbers, and I'm not up there right now. It would not be for job security, that's a fact.

I have no desire to move from my position, so a career move it would not be.

What would I have to gain?

As I mentioned, I thought they were friends, and why would I rat out friends?

I'm just chewing over this. I know I'm going to have to say something. I think these points are logical ones.

*sigh*hand to forehead*

I don't know if I'm going to have to say something...part of me is saying that I should do the opposite of what I want to do, pull a 'George Costanza'. That means I bite my lip and sit and fume with indignation.

That is what this whole thing has dredged up in me...indignation (amongst other things).

It is the indignation that validates my actions. It's my indignation that has had me shoot my mouth off in the past. I have never had any reservations of saying what I mean at any time. I have lacked the skill of timing with that same pragmatism.

blarg

This is therapeutic to me, so please pardon me blabbering....

[Nomad]

Rise.

[Boogalette]

Well, so far so good.

I've said nothing, I've been professional to the one instigating everything, and i've just been working.

It's hard, but the day is more than half over.

I just want to say to all that has offered advice that I appreciate it more than you know.

[Odie]

Boogalette;1163217 wrote: Well, so far so good.

I've said nothing, I've been professional to the one instigating everything, and i've just been working.

It's hard, but the day is more than half over.

I just want to say to all that has offered advice that I appreciate it more than you know.


that's all we can do, put up and shut up!

sad isn' t it?:-5:-5



you great little professional you!:-4

[Boogalette]

well, I blew it.

I said something, and she doesn't get it. She feels she is justified.

I don't give a ****, I'm pissed and hurt, still.

I did not yell, I did not call names.

I shouldn't have said anything as I just gave them more fuel. Yes it is a 'them', this co-worker confirmed it, in fact she said she wasn't the one who started it. I said if you participated that makes you just as guilty of spreading lies.

Ugh.

I have to sit beside one and be fake. How can I be fake? I don't know how to be fake.

Sorry, I blew it. I don't know who I'm apologizing to.

[Odie]

Boogalette;1163453 wrote: well, I blew it.

I said something, and she doesn't get it. She feels she is justified.

I don't give a ****, I'm pissed and hurt, still.

I did not yell, I did not call names.

I shouldn't have said anything as I just gave them more fuel. Yes it is a 'them', this co-worker confirmed it, in fact she said she wasn't the one who started it. I said if you participated that makes you just as guilty of spreading lies.

Ugh.

I have to sit beside one and be fake. How can I be fake? I don't know how to be fake.

Sorry, I blew it. I don't know who I'm apologizing to.




You don't have to apologize..........there is only so much on can take.......I used to be the same.......got hurt or upset and just couldn't hold it in.

I have worked with several bullies in my time, and they all are assholes!

[Patsy Warnick]

WE here at Forum Garden are happy your comfortable to vent.

Of course there's a THEM... they feed off eachother. This catty crap is a Cancer within a work enviornment that should have Harmony.

The Cancer usually is a jealousy..!

the only way for your office to have Harmony is to cut the Cancer out.

1st you cut the co-worker out of you - they're invisible - don't watch - don't listen - don't par take in any talk/chat with them - no breaks/lunch with them.

don't feed the cinders..

strickly business... it's not being fake - you don't want them as a Friend.

you don't care what they do

Rise above the them - otherwise they'll drag you into being the main problem...

Trust me I've managed Offices before.

Take a deep breath & don't take this in as a personal assault

Strickly Business - you can do it....

Harmony

Patsy

[Boogalette]

Patsy Warnick;1163568 wrote: WE here at Forum Garden are happy your comfortable to vent.

Of course there's a THEM... they feed off eachother. This catty crap is a Cancer within a work enviornment that should have Harmony.

The Cancer usually is a jealousy..!

the only way for your office to have Harmony is to cut the Cancer out.

1st you cut the co-worker out of you - they're invisible - don't watch - don't listen - don't par take in any talk/chat with them - no breaks/lunch with them.

don't feed the cinders..

strickly business... it's not being fake - you don't want them as a Friend.

you don't care what they do

Rise above the them - otherwise they'll drag you into being the main problem...

Trust me I've managed Offices before.

Take a deep breath & don't take this in as a personal assault

Strickly Business - you can do it....

Harmony

Patsy


Thanks. Patsy.

you all mentioned that you're pretty sure my mgr knows, and I believe you are correct. I just discovered all of this BS on MON, but my manager, moved a bunch of us around (cubicles) and she moved a prime troublemaker beside me.

She's trying to teach a life lesson to that one.

I will try again today.

[princessladedah]

I have that at my job, I sit back always have a possitive smile and watch them choke on their foot, sooner than latter, it comes around, this week in fact, a guy who manages the pharmacy in his district, got canned for causing problems with gossip, and cause problems among stores, he worked there 11 years.

[nok]

My Indian friend told me a long time ago " When you're a student, you have friends. They like you and you like them but when you work, you don't have friends in the workplace." I believe she is absolutely right. There are no true friends in the workplace. I have worked for more than 19 years now and I can attest to the fact that what my friend said is true.

I think that female co-workers are more annoying than male co-workers ( although I've come across some really ****** male co-workers before). Maybe it's because women like to backstab, gossip and cause problems.... I don't know.

Anyway, my advice to you would be....... Silence is golden. Try not to say anything that's not necessary or will cause you problems later. I agree with the other posts here. Just do your job, go back home and try not to socialize with the co-workers unless you really have to and can't avoid it. Jobs really are only for working ( sad but true !) and not for healthy socializing and making friends. It's best to make friends outside the workplace.