Persistancy pays off!!

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:22 am

As many of you know, I've moved recently and it was a big deal for me....very emotional. I lived in the same home for 17 years and it was really hard for me to leave.....well, I've settled into the new (temp) place and going on my second week of residency and things are going okay. (I've had some major plumbing issues, but other than that....I'm okay)

Well, I have let my oldest son stay in the old home until we are officially kicked out, mainly because I have no where to put him in the new place and he has friends that have moved in with him that are in between places right now and the last I heard they are going to get a place together.....which will be interesting, but he needs to be on his own.

Now, here's my little dilehma.....The day after I moved, my digital camera went missing, I go over to the house on a daily basis for the last almost 2 weeks and every time I go, I mention my camera and even look behind and under places that I've already looked a thousand times before, in hopes my camera will show up.

I have expressed that I feel bad for accusing my sons' friends, but I can't find it and that only leads me to believe that someone took it.

I was talking to one of the boys the other night and mentioned that I am still wanting my camera back, and he showed me how he found his and that he thought someone stole it or they might have accidentally thrown it away but it was stuffed in a storage box and they just found it. I was happy for him that he found his camera and I said...."well, I thought maybe I packed it up with my dresser stuff with my make-up, but I've gone through every box I have and nothing"......

Well, I went over to the house yesterday with my mom's truck, took 2 truck loads of trash to the dumb and mowed grass (just enough to get in and out of the truck without having to high step it, the grass was up to my hip---no lie) and of course I checked on the kittens and cleaned the floor and picked up.....like I always do....my son wasn't there, but his friends were. (no-one offerred to help me btw). As I was leaving one of the boys mentioned that they found my camera and my son has it in his room, well that was all he told me and then locked himself in my old bedroom and I was trying to get out of there anyway, so I let it go at that for the time bein'.

WELL, I talked to my kid today (I took a day off from going over there today) and I asked him about the camera, he said yeah "*friends name* took it because he couldn't find his and then when you kept on asking about it, they were just going to keep it because they took pictures on it that you wouldn't approve of, but then they felt bad, and yeah, they stole from you and lied to you and that is wrong, but I have your camera!"...

What the HELL?????? the same kid that sat and looked at me and told me to search for my camera was the one that STOLE it from me???? And I thought this boy seemed nice and good kid for mine to be around!!!:-5:-5:-5

Good news is, I bugged the heck out of them enough to get my camera back, now if we could get them to pay for my son's guitar hero game they ruined....life would be even better!

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:44 am

Im afraid wendy it seems to me that your so easy going on these guys that they are practically walking all over you and wiping their feet on the way out.

They should be showering you with gratitude for all you have done for them, they know the struggle you have had and yet still they show you this total lack of respect.

I know their young but not young enough to not realise that stealing and wrecking other peeps property is wrong and even more wrong when that same person is allowing you to stay in their home.

Whats going to be next?? Are they so irresponsible that they may trash the place and leave you to foot the bill??

I know its hard but I feel you must say something to them at least. If you dont and they will see it as a red light to do what the hell they like.

Loves ya wendes....now go and kick butt Wonder Mum:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:09 am

Thanks Jimbo and Chezzie-kins!! I appreciate your posts and agree 100%!!

The most upsetting part to me, is that my kid is the one that is getting it from all sides, I think he knew that his friends stole my camera, because when I would bring it up, he would say "I'll buy you a new one mom"....and I got upset and said I didn't want a new one, I want MINE!!....so now after Mom complaining for almost 2 weeks straight, it finally comes out in the wash!

My son is the Happy go-lucky, everyones' friend and he's being walked on just like I have been most of my life....and I don't like it, can't figure out how to stop it!!:-5:-5

I have told him time after time, that he needs to stop being everyone's door mat, but I guess he might have to learn like his momma did....I hope not!:-1

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:13 am

Do your son's friends have jobs? Maybe they should be paying you to stay in your old house? Say like $150.00 a week or so?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:18 am

qsducks;849550 wrote: Do your son's friends have jobs? Maybe they should be paying you to stay in your old house? Say like $150.00 a week or so?

They are supposed to be paying me....haven't set it in stone, but I believe it will be now...I know its my own fault, I had a lot of stuff happening at the time and it was overwhelming, but now that its calming down, I need to set some things straight.....Everyone in the house has a job....they are all working and somewhat take care of the house. Another reason I was being leniant, is I was hoping they were saving up for their new place....Hopefully it will get better from here on out.:-3:-3

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:19 am

Wow. :-2 I wish I could sound as optimistic as you seem to... but I don't see it getting better anytime in the near future. I truly hope it does eventually, but I see a long, hard road for their future (which isn't necessarily a bad thing in their case... some just need to be bludgeoned in the head to wake up).

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:51 pm

[quote=jimbo;848817]

i dont know why kids steal these days ,they all seem to do it i had terrible trouble with my older son , maybe its all our faults

Since you were the one that brought it up..........yes it is all your fault that kids steal.

I hope youre happy with yourself.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Apr 30, 2008 6:56 pm

Well, the boy won't face me now....he makes himself missing in action when I show up to check on the kitties.

Today I went over to check on the kitties and I'm trying to sell my old computer desk, so went to clean it. I was talking to my son one on one and I asked him if he was tired of the party life yet....he said "yep....IT SUCKS!...its been 2 weeks and I have already realized, I took you guys for granted"....:-3

I was shocked but glad to hear it, he told me it put a lot in perspective and he realizes how good he had it when Mom was there to help him out.....so hopefully we will see improvements soon.:-6

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Thu May 01, 2008 2:57 am

Having recently escaped living with my 23 year old son.... and having his dishonest, heartless, inconsiderate friends walk in and out of my home... your story doesnt shock me in the least. I have had almost everything of mine stolen from me. I had to try to hide everything. To the point where I couldnt remember where anything was, I am still adjusting to the amazing feeling of being able to leave my belongings around in this new place. I know they would have taken my underwear if they needed it. There are no excuses for their behavior. And the nicer you are about everything, or every incident.. the more they will walk all over you. I am continually stunned by the behavior of todays youth. I have written about it here. I have recently also dealt with the selfishness on the job also. Although I know, you are a nice person who like to be giving, Im afraid that having experience, I would say that letting those kids stay in your home is a huge mistake. You are the adult who has had to deal with all of your recent stresses, and the problems.

Why do we let these kids get a free ride? Trust me, they do not appreciate your generosity one bit. I put my son on my cell phone plan 2 years ago. He of course agreed to pay half the bill. I have never gotten a dime. He has chatted his little ass off for free for the past 2 years, while I payed the bill.

I didnt cancel the phone because of the termination penalty, and also because it was my only way to keep in touch with him. The contract is up May 29th. He actually had the audacity to ask me to sign the new contract with him on it. There are parents who would have gone positively beserk when they discovered that the camera had been stolen. Getting angry is the healthy response. When you discovered the truth, you should have thrown them all out on the front lawn, with their belongings. They would respect you more, and your son would be stunned.

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Thu May 01, 2008 4:16 am

One of my son's friends stole from me once .... he has never set foot in this house again and never will! Also Josh is not allowed to hang out with him ever. I realise the younger they are the easier it is control who they hang out with. I also expect that he would not want to hang out with kids that steal from his home and parents :-6

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Thu May 01, 2008 4:23 am

You know the more I think about this the angrier I get. This 'so called friend' knows your financial situation Wendy, he must know your struggles, and yet, after all your hospitality, the little b4stard still steals from you

:mad::mad:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu May 01, 2008 7:47 pm

Well, I had more time with my oldest son today, and the boy that stole from me has pretty much moved out, I'm being told he wanted to move back with his Mom, not real sure the real story, but I don't care at this point.....My son is already tired of his friends taking advantage of me and him....he told me again today how he appreciates all I've done and we talked about his future, he's finally serious about it and ready to do something other than party!!

I agree with everyone about kicking them out, but to be honest, the house is no longer mine....it belongs to the bank, they only owe me for the electric bill and if I don't get money by the middle of the month when they've been there a month, I will make them leave, but I really want my son to stay there for the sake of the animals until we get homes for them, I know it sounds selfish....but I am having a hard time with the idea of just taking my cats to the SPCA and dropping them off, I'm trying to find homes for all of them first, and looks like we have another month or so.....