God today sucked so bad

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:04 am

Today was the worst day of my life (so far) in College everybody started ganging up on me and calling me all sorts of names i cant understand why cause i havnt done anything against them it was like being back at High School again i swear i was just about to scream the bloody place down it got so bad i mean my teacher wasnt even in the class so she couldnt say anything so i grabbed my Bag and just stormed out and i'm now thinking about quiting cause no way am i putting up with what happend today again !!!

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:08 am

What were they saying D ? What started it off?

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:08 am

Wow that sounds awful, I'm really sorry to hear about this. Though as horrible as I'm sure it was to quit your course I feel would be the wrong thing to do, because you would just be giving in to these bullies and throwing away all what you have done before (education wise!)

What exactly were they picking you on, if you don't mind me asking?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:14 am

Wow, in college people act like that? What asshats!!

I wouldn't bail out of college ML, even though I totally know what it's like to be picked on mercilessly- I'd stand up and cuss them all out. I mean yes it hurts when people do this sh*t but what trash they make themselves out to be for it. Tell us more if you care to, maybe we can help?

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:14 am

Pheasy;845974 wrote: What were they saying D ? What started it off?

I dunno i was just doing my work then another boy in my class came over and started makeing fun of me and we usualy get on well

but i'm takeing tommorow off

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:18 am

Musiclover89;845979 wrote: I dunno i was just doing my work then another boy in my class came over and started makeing fun of me and we usualy get on well

but i'm takeing tommorow off

Clearly then he wasn't as good as friend as your thought. I assume that you tried asking him what his problem was, and that he didn't give you an answer?

This sort of happened to me back at college too, though it was just one person. I spoke to my tutor afterwards, whom was excellent, and he then went to the Principal with what I had told him, and soon after the boy was expelled. I didn't want this guy to ruin my college work, because it is hard enough as it is, so if I were you I would talk to someone about this, and if it happens again, take action against these people.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:20 am

Oh and by action I don't mean physical action, because then for me you become as bad as they are. Try to find a understanding teacher or some Head of Department, and explain to them what is going on, and see what they suggest, then take things from there.

I really hope it doesn't happen again, because from my own experience it wasn't nice and no-one should have to go through that!

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:22 am

:yh_hugs ML :yh_hugs

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:38 am

ML, Chris gives good advice there.

You may not be a confrontational type, but you have to stick up for yourself. Not physically unless it was in your own defense but I mean otherwise.

I learned this the hard way too.

Here's what i would do. I would find that guy, that so called friend of yours and in a non aggressive manner, I would ask him what that business was all about and why he chose to disrespect you when he was supposed to be a friend. I would do this just you and him so he doesn't have an audience to pose for, you know? You may not even care what his reason is and that's fine but by confronting him you're letting him know you are not accepting what he's handing out.

You have every right to be there in that college and to be shown common courtesy.

Have you ever heard of the Rabbi Hillel?

He said "If I am not for me, who will be?" You have to be for you, ML and that includes not taking people's crap. I know you're a nice guy, a cool person and I hate to see you treated this way.

:-6

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:43 am

RedGlitter;846013 wrote: ML, Chris gives good advice there.

You may not be a confrontational type, but you have to stick up for yourself. Not physically unless it was in your own defense but I mean otherwise.

I learned this the hard way too.

Here's what i would do. I would find that guy, that so called friend of yours and in a non aggressive manner, I would ask him what that business was all about and why he chose to disrespect you when he was supposed to be a friend. I would do this just you and him so he doesn't have an audience to pose for, you know? You may not even care what his reason is and that's fine but by confronting him you're letting him know you are not accepting what he's handing out.

You have every right to be there in that college and to be shown common courtesy.

Have you ever heard of the Rabbi Hillel?

He said "If I am not for me, who will be?" You have to be for you, ML and that includes not taking people's crap. I know you're a nice guy, a cool person and I hate to see you treated this way.

:-6

I've never found the need to stick up for myself for any reason what so ever but i'll take your adivce Red and ask him why he done it but it'll be inpossible to get him by himself hes always with someone

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:46 am

Hi Red!

Yes I feel that if you can get a moment alone with this guy and find out why he did what he did then great. If however he is always followed by a little gaggle of supporters, then I would wait until a better moment comes up.

If he refuses to speak or gives you a lame reason, then tell him fine, you are sorry he feels that way, but you are a much better person than that, and won't have anything to do with him again, even if in the long term it means having to spend some more time on your own or with less people.

I agree though that when more people become involved it is hard, and if a lot are abusing you, then you would have no choice but to seek some help from a teacher or for me someone higher up, because I have found that some teachers themselves are too scared to stand up for a pupil against a rowdy class, which is very sad, but does happen.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:48 am

Musiclover89;846018 wrote: I've never found the need to stick up for myself for any reason what so ever but i'll take your adivce Red and ask him why he done it but it'll be inpossible to get him by himself hes always with someone

Well for me the reason why you have to stick up for yourself in these situations is because, some people will smell weakness on your part, and either this supposed friend of yours or his friends, will see that you are acting a little weak, and will be more encouraged to carry on bullying you, because they know that they can get away with it.

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:53 am

The thing is though i aint exactly the talkative type in College most of the time i just sit and listen to Music and get on with my work and not get on anybodys nervs or anything, so what prompted today's recation from them is really beyond me

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:56 am

Hi Chris!

Yep more good advice from you. I think you're right about consulting a teacher about it. I was never in college so I am unfamiliar with how it works and what you're saying does sound reasonable.

And speaking to the guy alone is key. You're totally right, having even a few people there would give this guy fuel to be an asshat again if he were inclined.

ML, I came back here to say to you that I didn't mean to come off bossy or harsh. I'm sorry. I'm certainly not mad at you! I'm mad at those rude people for being unkind to you. I know how that is and it was kind of a little knee-jerk reaction there. Hang in there!!

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:00 am

Musiclover89;846035 wrote: The thing is though i aint exactly the talkative type in College most of the time i just sit and listen to Music and get on with my work and not get on anybodys nervs or anything, so what prompted today's recation from them is really beyond me

Well even more reason then for you to try and find out why what happened today happened, and if you can get a reason behind it then even better.

I know it can't be easy I wasn't one to talk much either back in College, so I couldn't see why I was targeted. In the end, it turned out that this guy had supposedly been told that I had been saying things about him behind his back, (which for someone that doesn't talk much was jokeable really.) And this guy believed this news from a friend and was determined to try and get me for it, and of course his stupid friends just went along with him.

In that situation there really wasn't much I could of said to make him believe me, so which is why I went to someone. For you though, I would just try and stay as calm as you can (which I'm sure is hard though,) and find out why it happened, and go from there. Honestly you don't want to mess up your life because of some stupid people and decide to leave college or keep bunking off, because then they would just win and have accomplished seemingly what they wanted to do.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:03 am

RedGlitter;846039 wrote: Hi Chris!

Yep more good advice from you. I think you're right about consulting a teacher about it. I was never in college so I am unfamiliar with how it works and what you're saying does sound reasonable.

Well at least at my college you had a subject teacher for each lesson, and then you had a Tutor that just took the odd time period in the week for things like admin or whatever, and then each department will have it's own Head.

I would try your Tutor first, (assuming you have one too,) as that is what they are there for, and even better if you get someone that knows these people, and may understand more what you are telling them, than someone who doesn't.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:13 am

Nicely put Jimbo! :yh_clap

I really like the bit about not letting them see they are bothering you. That I found was really helpful, and it would be tough having lots of people pushing or swearing at you, but if you show anger, then they will be more inclined to probably laugh at you, and carry on with the assault, then to just try and ignore them and show them that they are pathetic people and nothing more.

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:23 am

jimbo;846051 wrote: ml i have been picked on all my life , dressed in rags half starved ,badly beaten and bullied by a monster father and i had to clean the pigs out on the farm before going to school and with no washing facilities i used to stink to high heaven i cant tell you how horrible the other kids were to me spitting in my face beaten up every day if another kid even touched me they would start mock screaming and saying they had caught a lurgy off of me and rush off to the bathroom to wash i often used to think of suicide

even at 13

but do you know what Darren I'm glad they did it now ,i have grown into a kind man who sticks up for the little guy although i do have a laugh i never ever try to upset anyone

i know its upsetting for you right now buddy but in the long term you will learn from this and you will grow to be a better kinder man

looking back i feel sorry for my tormentors ,what kind of gutless cowards were they to pick on another human being outnumbering him 15 to 20 to one

the same as those that torment you my friend all doing from the safety of the mob , you must really try to feel sorry for them for they are just like vermin buddy gutless horrible vermin .... try to let them see they are not bothering you my friend they will soon tire of annoying you :-6:-6

I've been beaten up by my "Dad" aswell so i can relate to what you've just said i mean i was very badly bullied in School sometimes i got followed home e.t.c got threatend i didn't attend School for months on end because i was too scared incase i got beat up and whatnot but to have it happen to me again in College just made me relise that people never really let go of there High School habbits and most of the time there the ones who were being bullyed and just takeing it out on other people, but i'm still going to take tommorow of College i could use a day of :wah:

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:27 am

That's true I've found that a lot of bullies have only or still are being bullied themselves so they try and find someone that they feel won't stand up to them and make themselves feel a little better.

I like the idea of letting the bear lose though, that would be a SIGHT!! :wah:

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:34 am

chrisb84uk;846089 wrote: That's true I've found that a lot of bullies have only or still are being bullied themselves so they try and find someone that they feel won't stand up to them and make themselves feel a little better.

I like the idea of letting the bear lose though, that would be a SIGHT!! :wah:

I can picture it happening auctualy :wah:

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:37 am

I know just imagine the carnage! :wah:

That would teach them a lesson for sure hahaha.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:46 am

Well perhaps you could cover his friends in something that the bear really likes or hates and despite staying still it will still go for them and carnage would still ensue!

But yes you need to stay strong and still, just unlike my above thought, don't go covering yourself with things like honey (or whatever bears like, I don't know,) because that would just be odd! :wah:

Richard Bell · Post by **Richard Bell** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:48 am

My first thought was how are these idiots going to function in a work enviornment if they are still acting like pre-teens at this late age?

Well, they won't. That sort of behaviour is not tolerated in the workplace, and it is not acceptable at college.

You have every right to go to the college officials and have the harassment stopped. There is no grey area here. If these individuals insist in acting in such an immature manner, they should be expelled from the institution, and handed a broom at the gate, so they can embark upon their lifelong career as a street sweeper. Let those who are attending to learn and train for a successful life do so, without the threat of juvenile bullies disrupting the process.

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:59 am

jimbo;846149 wrote: that would be un bear able chris

:o

Hahaha that joke was just about bear able.

Trunk Monkey · Post by **Trunk Monkey** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:21 am

Musiclover89: I am so sorry this happened but remember: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:53 am

ML you have already been given a lot of good advice here, so im not going to add as i would be just repeating, but i just wanted you to know how mad i am on your behalf:mad::mad: I cant believe people of "college age" are acting this way:-5 I hope you have been able to take some of the advice on board and that you now take some form of control and put a stop to this, how dare they treat a person that way! PLease let us know how things go ML:-4:-4

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:20 am

Everyone has given you great advice here Darren :-6

I too was beaten up by my Dad, and it knocks your confidence pretty bad. But to survive you need to start valuing yourself, don't run away and hide. Like Jimbo, I look at the positive side (I know how could there be one! .... find something! otherwise your Dad wins and continues to have an influence in life .... an honour he does not deserve). You are a strong and valuable person. No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to bully you in any way, how dare they! Understand this about yourself, you are not a toy that they play with! Somehow find more strength and self confidence.

When you 'come out' you are going find real true friends, but sadly along the way you will also come across the slime-balls. Learn to deal with them now .... otherwise I will worry big time. It's not any easy hill you about to climb, make sure you are strong from the off-set. :-4:-4:-4

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:48 am

Oh Dazzle I'm so sorry. :yh_hugs

I could strangle those barstewards for hurting your feelings.

Dont run away or hide from them, face them and ask what their bloody problem is.

Take care hon and enjoy your day off but try not to get behind with your course work because of them.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:00 pm

Awww sorry to hear these dimwits are giving you grief mate.

Often people who bully other people do it to make themselves feel better, because they are unhappy, at school or at home. Remember that they have the problem not you. Don't believe what they say to you, and don't blame yourself. Any person, through no fault of their own may be bullied. Anything, no matter how small, that sets the victim apart from the bully or bullies may be sufficient "justification" in their eyes. Sometimes all it takes is for the person to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Therefore it is not unusual to find that there are many people victimised through bullying who are popular and socially well adjusted.

Remember, It's Not About You...They have the problem not you!

If your school has a peer mediation or mentoring program try to use it. No one can help you if you don't tell them. If you are afraid to tell because it might make things worse, tell the person you talk to that you are afraid if they do anything it might make it worse, ask them to find a way to help you deal with it that won't.

One good piece of advice I heard was If they tease you or slag you off, try and laugh it off. Don't let them see that they have hurt you. Bullies like to get a reaction, if they don't get one there is no point in them bullying you.

In other words, rise above their childish behaviour, dont take tomorrow off, dont let them win...Head held high and get back to your course....All of FG are behind you. supporting you and protecting you...:-6

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:06 pm

Chezzie;846324 wrote: Awww sorry to hear these dimwits are giving you grief mate.

Often people who bully other people do it to make themselves feel better, because they are unhappy, at school or at home. Remember that they have the problem not you. Don't believe what they say to you, and don't blame yourself. Any person, through no fault of their own may be bullied. Anything, no matter how small, that sets the victim apart from the bully or bullies may be sufficient "justification" in their eyes. Sometimes all it takes is for the person to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Therefore it is not unusual to find that there are many people victimised through bullying who are popular and socially well adjusted.

Remember, It's Not About You...They have the problem not you!

If your school has a peer mediation or mentoring program try to use it. No one can help you if you don't tell them. If you are afraid to tell because it might make things worse, tell the person you talk to that you are afraid if they do anything it might make it worse, ask them to find a way to help you deal with it that won't.

One good piece of advice I heard was If they tease you or slag you off, try and laugh it off. Don't let them see that they have hurt you. Bullies like to get a reaction, if they don't get one there is no point in them bullying you.

In other words, rise above their childish behaviour, dont take tomorrow off, dont let them win...Head held high and get back to your course....All of FG are behind you. supporting you and protecting you...:-6

Well said Chezzers. I also have to agree Darren that I don't think you should take tomorrow off either ... that would be a bad move ... think about what that's telling them :-6

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:37 pm

Don't give them any power over you or your life. Go back to school.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:33 pm

FB you meant well, but your delivery respectfully sucked.

Crybaby? Little girl? Pshaw. That's just more namecalling. Nobody's giving understanding to bullies, we're explaining to Darren why some people are assmunches. If you understand your enemy then you know their soft spots and how best to deal with them.

I am confident ML will handle it the best way he can. :-6

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:50 pm

Okay, this is my take on it....after reading the whole thread...

first let me say, I'm sorry you went through that Darren, NO one should be treated that way!

I understand why you want to take the day off, and I say okay to that, but Monday will be another day, and guess what, they will still be there.....hopefully enough time went by and these bullies have moved on to other childish games....if not, I am with the group of people that have said to rise above the crowd, don't give them the satisfaction of upsetting you....I know it may be hard to do at the time, but try your hardest to look at them and laugh your butt off or even make stupid jokes like "you dropped your pocket" and might make them look....:wah:

I hate confrontation and I despise bullies, my kids have dealt with them and it has helped in the past to bring it to authoratitive postions attention, so they can take action...we know that these bullies will act like angels when the prof. are around and that makes me sick, but if you don't tell anyone, then that gives them that much power....

Please let us know how things are when you go back to school, we are all rooting for you:-4:-4:-4

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:35 pm

I hope it all works out for you.

Some good advice on here.

I like this quote & think of it a lot when I am troubled by things,it helps.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:14 am

I'm gonna go back to College on Monday cause last night i had a good long think about what happend yesturday anf i've taken all of your advice which has been posted here theres assholes aint gonna get to me nomore i'm gonna go back better and stronger than what i was Yesturday

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 4:29 am

Good for you Darren...it's not going to be easy, but it has to be done if you want it to stop now. Stay strong :-4

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 5:33 am

Best of luck on Monday, Musiclover. Just to add my pennyworth: stay calm. Very often bullies are looking to provoke a reaction, or better still, a breakdown. Don't give them it. Remember that just by their being bullies they are lesser human beings than you.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:15 pm

This might be hard to stomach or put into real time action.

Pity him.

Pity him for his shortcomings.

Pity him for his lack of compassion.

Pity him for being heartless.

Pity him for not understanding the source of happiness in giving joy to others.

Pity him for the blackness that lives in his mind and heart.

Pity him for the things that happened to him to make him the way he is.

Then forgive him.

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 7:40 pm

Musiclover89;846593 wrote: I'm gonna go back to College on Monday cause last night i had a good long think about what happend yesturday anf i've taken all of your advice which has been posted here theres assholes aint gonna get to me nomore i'm gonna go back better and stronger than what i was Yesturday

Good for you.I am impressed. It will work out.:-6

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:16 pm

Musiclover89;846593 wrote: I'm gonna go back to College on Monday cause last night i had a good long think about what happend yesturday anf i've taken all of your advice which has been posted here theres assholes aint gonna get to me nomore i'm gonna go back better and stronger than what i was Yesturday

Good Job Darren, keep us up to date!! We all care about you and want only happiness for you!:-4

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 9:27 pm

Being bullied is not an easy thing to end. People who feel the need to gain power through abusing someone else don't follow obvious logic.

At the risk of saying something unpopular, I do feel the need to question the connection between this thread and the one about your new jacket. I mention it only because I believe honesty is more valuable than telling someone they look fine when they have a booger hanging out of their nose. As a male, if you wear things like pink leather jackets to the campus you put a "bully me" sign on your back. You may choose to ignore them but they won't ignore you if you make yourself a target.

Hopefully you are aware of such matters and are being realistic. I only ask as someone who is concerned about your well being. School is not the same as it used to be and where I come from, in BC, bullying has resulted in death. Please be smart.

Musiclover89 · Post by **Musiclover89** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 4:17 am

koan;847404 wrote: Being bullied is not an easy thing to end. People who feel the need to gain power through abusing someone else don't follow obvious logic.

At the risk of saying something unpopular, I do feel the need to question the connection between this thread and the one about your new jacket. I mention it only because I believe honesty is more valuable than telling someone they look fine when they have a booger hanging out of their nose. As a male, if you wear things like pink leather jackets to the campus you put a "bully me" sign on your back. You may choose to ignore them but they won't ignore you if you make yourself a target.

Hopefully you are aware of such matters and are being realistic. I only ask as someone who is concerned about your well being. School is not the same as it used to be and where I come from, in BC, bullying has resulted in death. Please be smart.

The Jacket aint Pink its Red

the jacket is just a collectable anyway i havnt wore it outside yet i aint that Stupid, I'm considering wearing it though it suits me, and i want to try and be Unique with my clotheing as i possibly can be i aint gonna dress up Gothic or anything i dnt like that style