Or is it just a nice thing you tell people who are going through tough times?
Do you find that after time the pain does subside, but yet NEVER go away?
You don't forget what you went through, how could you possibly? But, do you let it hinder you from moving on in your life?
I was thinking about the thread that pants posted earlier on trauma and of course thought of my own hard times I've come through....and I remember someone telling me..."time will heal this wound"....well that "wound" was my still-born baby....and I am here to tell you, that wound will never heal, I ache for him even today, 15 years later...
There is a box of his memorabila (sp) that sits up high on a book-shelf in our home....everyone knows what it is and why it is there. When we were talking about moving everything and I am trying to figure out what stuff goes to my parents for storage and what we HAVE to have for the appartment, I said that the box can go to my mom's house...my middle son told me that "Mason" comes with us, where ever we go, he goes, and I said "but he's not in that box", My son said, still....the box needs to be where we are....I was heartbroken by the thought that my son was more concerned about the whereabouts of his dead brothers belongings than I was....I started to wonder if I should be ashamed of myself???
Mason is in a better place and I will see him one day....:-4:-4
I was just wondering if anyone else had a similar experience to share?
**also, sorry if I should of put this in another forum, I will understand if moved.**
Does time heal wounds?
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WonderWendy3
- Posts: 12412
- Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:44 am
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RedGlitter
- Posts: 15777
- Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:51 am
Does time heal wounds?
Not sure Wendy, if you want to hear this from me or not, but I'll take a chance. I don't think you have any need to feel ashamed of yourself for that. I don't think this was a case of you not feeling enough or as much as your son does, or being disrespectful to Mason's memory or anything like that but that it was simply a matter of people handling grief differently. And since I'm an only child, I am guessing here, but I'm thinking it's possible that your son might feel differently about Mason than you do, in the way that as much as parent and child share a special bond, siblings share a bond just as special but probably a bit different. Mason is part of you both in your own ways. I could be wrong on that, but it's what I'm thinking.
If you ask me, I think time does heal most all wounds...sometimes it takes what seems like forever and even when the wound is healed, that doesn't mean it doesn't leave a tender spot.
Of my family, it is me who talks about my late mom and celebrates the anniversaries and the little ways we remember her, much to the discomfort of my dad and my uncle, who prefer to hold her silently in their hearts. We're all different.
You did nothing wrong.
---------------- Listening to: Rachmaninov / Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, Op. 18 I: Moderato (Rachmaninov) via FoxyTunes
If you ask me, I think time does heal most all wounds...sometimes it takes what seems like forever and even when the wound is healed, that doesn't mean it doesn't leave a tender spot.
Of my family, it is me who talks about my late mom and celebrates the anniversaries and the little ways we remember her, much to the discomfort of my dad and my uncle, who prefer to hold her silently in their hearts. We're all different.
You did nothing wrong.
---------------- Listening to: Rachmaninov / Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, Op. 18 I: Moderato (Rachmaninov) via FoxyTunes
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Patsy Warnick
- Posts: 4567
- Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:53 am
Does time heal wounds?
WW
Most definately times heals - do you forget NO
Does "IT" go away NO
Is the pain as deep NO
Good days & bad YES
You can create good days
Love Ya
Patsy
Most definately times heals - do you forget NO
Does "IT" go away NO
Is the pain as deep NO
Good days & bad YES
You can create good days
Love Ya
Patsy
Does time heal wounds?
Ww :-4:-4:-4:-4
I am nobody..nobody is perfect...therefore I must be Perfect!
Does time heal wounds?
Time heals wounds they say
Time takes the pain away
Please tell me why
This never happened for me
It's years since you went away
I've missed you night and day
Why you had to go
Is a mystery to me
Absent Friends
Time takes the pain away
Please tell me why
This never happened for me
It's years since you went away
I've missed you night and day
Why you had to go
Is a mystery to me
Absent Friends
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Betty Boop
- Posts: 16942
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
Does time heal wounds?
Time heals wounds but you have to deal with the emotions as they come up as you go through life. Repress those emotions and the wound takes longer thats all.
Does time heal wounds?
Nothing could be worse (in my opinion) than the loss of a child.
I think (and this is not through personal experience, but knowing others have had similar experiences) that having a still born child may not be seen by others, or understood as much from a grief perspective, as if a young child died somehow. People expect or would think that you would ‘get over it’ faster, or ‘try again’. But the personal grief that must be felt by those involved must be heart wrenching.
I think that you should feel comfortable with yourself and know that you have the right to openly and unapologetically mourn the loss of your child.
There's one more angel in heave
There's one more star in the sky
There's one less place at our table
There's one more tear in my eye
I think (and this is not through personal experience, but knowing others have had similar experiences) that having a still born child may not be seen by others, or understood as much from a grief perspective, as if a young child died somehow. People expect or would think that you would ‘get over it’ faster, or ‘try again’. But the personal grief that must be felt by those involved must be heart wrenching.
I think that you should feel comfortable with yourself and know that you have the right to openly and unapologetically mourn the loss of your child.
There's one more angel in heave
There's one more star in the sky
There's one less place at our table
There's one more tear in my eye
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WonderWendy3
- Posts: 12412
- Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:44 am
Does time heal wounds?
fuzzy butt;824762 wrote: When you're cut you bleed, the cut leaves a wound that heals, but you'll always have the scar. Add them to the beauty spots, freckles and dimples of life.
And like I always say, a man with a scar in the right place is god damn sexy. I love it!! thanks for my new siggy!
RedGlitter;824802 wrote: Not sure Wendy, if you want to hear this from me or not, but I'll take a chance. I don't think you have any need to feel ashamed of yourself for that. I don't think this was a case of you not feeling enough or as much as your son does, or being disrespectful to Mason's memory or anything like that but that it was simply a matter of people handling grief differently. And since I'm an only child, I am guessing here, but I'm thinking it's possible that your son might feel differently about Mason than you do, in the way that as much as parent and child share a special bond, siblings share a bond just as special but probably a bit different. Mason is part of you both in your own ways. I could be wrong on that, but it's what I'm thinking.
If you ask me, I think time does heal most all wounds...sometimes it takes what seems like forever and even when the wound is healed, that doesn't mean it doesn't leave a tender spot.
Of my family, it is me who talks about my late mom and celebrates the anniversaries and the little ways we remember her, much to the discomfort of my dad and my uncle, who prefer to hold her silently in their hearts. We're all different.
You did nothing wrong.
---------------- Listening to: Rachmaninov / Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, Op. 18 I: Moderato (Rachmaninov) via FoxyTunes
RG, I really appreciate you taking the time to write and express your views on this. Great advice and way of looking at this situation....Thank you!:-6
Patsy Warnick;824805 wrote: WW
Most definately times heals - do you forget NO
Does "IT" go away NO
Is the pain as deep NO
Good days & bad YES
You can create good days
Love Ya
Patsy Love ya too Patsy!:-4
jimbo;824807 wrote: i think time makes the wound scab over but not properly heal , every so often when we are down ,or on birthdays christmas or at the grave etc the scab comes off for a while it bleeds again it hurts again but we know that it will soon scab over again and it wont hurt so bad untill the next time
ww you are a great person
you have me thinking about natasha now .... my scab is itching but i wont scratch it off, well not today any way
I was concerned about you when I posted this! Thanks for your friendship!:-4
And like I always say, a man with a scar in the right place is god damn sexy. I love it!! thanks for my new siggy!
RedGlitter;824802 wrote: Not sure Wendy, if you want to hear this from me or not, but I'll take a chance. I don't think you have any need to feel ashamed of yourself for that. I don't think this was a case of you not feeling enough or as much as your son does, or being disrespectful to Mason's memory or anything like that but that it was simply a matter of people handling grief differently. And since I'm an only child, I am guessing here, but I'm thinking it's possible that your son might feel differently about Mason than you do, in the way that as much as parent and child share a special bond, siblings share a bond just as special but probably a bit different. Mason is part of you both in your own ways. I could be wrong on that, but it's what I'm thinking.
If you ask me, I think time does heal most all wounds...sometimes it takes what seems like forever and even when the wound is healed, that doesn't mean it doesn't leave a tender spot.
Of my family, it is me who talks about my late mom and celebrates the anniversaries and the little ways we remember her, much to the discomfort of my dad and my uncle, who prefer to hold her silently in their hearts. We're all different.
You did nothing wrong.
---------------- Listening to: Rachmaninov / Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, Op. 18 I: Moderato (Rachmaninov) via FoxyTunes
RG, I really appreciate you taking the time to write and express your views on this. Great advice and way of looking at this situation....Thank you!:-6
Patsy Warnick;824805 wrote: WW
Most definately times heals - do you forget NO
Does "IT" go away NO
Is the pain as deep NO
Good days & bad YES
You can create good days
Love Ya
Patsy Love ya too Patsy!:-4
jimbo;824807 wrote: i think time makes the wound scab over but not properly heal , every so often when we are down ,or on birthdays christmas or at the grave etc the scab comes off for a while it bleeds again it hurts again but we know that it will soon scab over again and it wont hurt so bad untill the next time
ww you are a great person
you have me thinking about natasha now .... my scab is itching but i wont scratch it off, well not today any way I was concerned about you when I posted this! Thanks for your friendship!:-4
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WonderWendy3
- Posts: 12412
- Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:44 am
Does time heal wounds?
SuzyB;824835 wrote: Ww
Love you too Sista!!:-4
Bryn Mawr;824838 wrote: Time heals wounds they say
Time takes the pain away
Please tell me why
This never happened for me
It's years since you went away
I've missed you night and day
Why you had to go
Is a mystery to me
Absent Friends
I loved that...brought tears to my eyes!!:-4
Betty Boop;824847 wrote: Time heals wounds but you have to deal with the emotions as they come up as you go through life. Repress those emotions and the wound takes longer thats all.
Hi Betty! thanks for that, I do repress so many emotions and then deal with the volcano later.....
mikeinie;824861 wrote: Nothing could be worse (in my opinion) than the loss of a child.
I think (and this is not through personal experience, but knowing others have had similar experiences) that having a still born child may not be seen by others, or understood as much from a grief perspective, as if a young child died somehow. People expect or would think that you would ‘get over it’ faster, or ‘try again’. But the personal grief that must be felt by those involved must be heart wrenching.
I think that you should feel comfortable with yourself and know that you have the right to openly and unapologetically mourn the loss of your child.
There's one more angel in heave
There's one more star in the sky
There's one less place at our table
There's one more tear in my eye
Thanks Mike, I had the experience many years ago where someone didn't think that it was a big issue that I lost a baby at birth, "at least he wasn't 3-4 years old" was the exact wording...and well, that cut deep. A loss of a child is a loss....and one that hurts very deep, you go on with life, but you NEVER ever forget that angel....
thanks everyone, you are all awesome!!:-6
Love you too Sista!!:-4
Bryn Mawr;824838 wrote: Time heals wounds they say
Time takes the pain away
Please tell me why
This never happened for me
It's years since you went away
I've missed you night and day
Why you had to go
Is a mystery to me
Absent Friends
I loved that...brought tears to my eyes!!:-4
Betty Boop;824847 wrote: Time heals wounds but you have to deal with the emotions as they come up as you go through life. Repress those emotions and the wound takes longer thats all.
Hi Betty! thanks for that, I do repress so many emotions and then deal with the volcano later.....
mikeinie;824861 wrote: Nothing could be worse (in my opinion) than the loss of a child.
I think (and this is not through personal experience, but knowing others have had similar experiences) that having a still born child may not be seen by others, or understood as much from a grief perspective, as if a young child died somehow. People expect or would think that you would ‘get over it’ faster, or ‘try again’. But the personal grief that must be felt by those involved must be heart wrenching.
I think that you should feel comfortable with yourself and know that you have the right to openly and unapologetically mourn the loss of your child.
There's one more angel in heave
There's one more star in the sky
There's one less place at our table
There's one more tear in my eye
Thanks Mike, I had the experience many years ago where someone didn't think that it was a big issue that I lost a baby at birth, "at least he wasn't 3-4 years old" was the exact wording...and well, that cut deep. A loss of a child is a loss....and one that hurts very deep, you go on with life, but you NEVER ever forget that angel....
thanks everyone, you are all awesome!!:-6
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along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Does time heal wounds?
Time can heal a wound because you have other experiences along the way. Other opportunities for love and joy and pleasure. But then there's memory, and that can be that tender spot.
My first son died of meningitis 35 years ago. I don't have a box of his pocessions to put up for safe-keeping, but I do have a place in my heart for him and always will.
My first son died of meningitis 35 years ago. I don't have a box of his pocessions to put up for safe-keeping, but I do have a place in my heart for him and always will.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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Clodhopper
- Posts: 5115
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 5:11 pm
Does time heal wounds?
It is possible that you have a very lovely child who is thinking about what he thinks really matters to his Mum. I know nothing about stillborn children so I don't know - but I think I like your son.
The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Lone voice: "I'm not."
Does time heal wounds?
You shouldn't feel ashamed at all. We all experience grieving and adjusting to loss differently. Time does heal wounds, but that does not mean that the wounds cannot be reopened. Death is a very traumatic and life altering event. It is the hardest wound to heal from.
Does time heal wounds?
Hey wendy, I'm really sorry to hear about your son.
I don't think you will ever forget, or not feel the pain.
You just learn to live with pain each day, and maybe it gets a little less, but it still remains. I think partly people like to say time heals, don't worry you'll feel better as a nice thing to say, but in a way it's also true. It doesn't HEAL with time but it does get easier.
I had a bad experience, along with many others. I'm still alive so i'm coping with the pain. Some day's it hurts really bad, you still grieve a lot. And other days you may not hardly think of that person at all. It all depends.
All that I know is, is that it hasnt gone away, it's just a little easier.
I've tried really hard to let what i went through not hinder my life, but i'm affraid that i've failed that in some ways. When a big part of your life and who you are goes missing it's hard not to let it affect you. It's been a few years now and i know they're never coming back. I've accepted that I just still find it very hard.
I think it's important to remember and keep good memories and feelings. But it it is also essential to move on.
Your son is in a better place, He's happy and free there.
And one day you'll be with him again.
I don't think you will ever forget, or not feel the pain.
You just learn to live with pain each day, and maybe it gets a little less, but it still remains. I think partly people like to say time heals, don't worry you'll feel better as a nice thing to say, but in a way it's also true. It doesn't HEAL with time but it does get easier.
I had a bad experience, along with many others. I'm still alive so i'm coping with the pain. Some day's it hurts really bad, you still grieve a lot. And other days you may not hardly think of that person at all. It all depends.
All that I know is, is that it hasnt gone away, it's just a little easier.
I've tried really hard to let what i went through not hinder my life, but i'm affraid that i've failed that in some ways. When a big part of your life and who you are goes missing it's hard not to let it affect you. It's been a few years now and i know they're never coming back. I've accepted that I just still find it very hard.
I think it's important to remember and keep good memories and feelings. But it it is also essential to move on.
Your son is in a better place, He's happy and free there.
And one day you'll be with him again.
[QUOTE]:DLive Everyday Like It's Your Last :-6[/QUOTE]
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WonderWendy3
- Posts: 12412
- Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:44 am
Does time heal wounds?
ilona17;857660 wrote: Hey wendy, I'm really sorry to hear about your son.
I don't think you will ever forget, or not feel the pain.
You just learn to live with pain each day, and maybe it gets a little less, but it still remains. I think partly people like to say time heals, don't worry you'll feel better as a nice thing to say, but in a way it's also true. It doesn't HEAL with time but it does get easier.
I had a bad experience, along with many others. I'm still alive so i'm coping with the pain. Some day's it hurts really bad, you still grieve a lot. And other days you may not hardly think of that person at all. It all depends.
All that I know is, is that it hasnt gone away, it's just a little easier.
I've tried really hard to let what i went through not hinder my life, but i'm affraid that i've failed that in some ways. When a big part of your life and who you are goes missing it's hard not to let it affect you. It's been a few years now and i know they're never coming back. I've accepted that I just still find it very hard.
I think it's important to remember and keep good memories and feelings. But it it is also essential to move on.
Your son is in a better place, He's happy and free there.
And one day you'll be with him again.
wow, thanks for that ilona:-6 I am sorry that you went through a bad experience also....You are right that it does get a bit easier, but you never forget. This Friday will be my son's birthday....he will be 15 years old up in heaven!:-4 I gave birth to him stillborn on Mothers' Day...so that holliday is bitter sweet for me.....but I'm thankful for my three healthy boys!! :-4:-4:-4
I don't think you will ever forget, or not feel the pain.
You just learn to live with pain each day, and maybe it gets a little less, but it still remains. I think partly people like to say time heals, don't worry you'll feel better as a nice thing to say, but in a way it's also true. It doesn't HEAL with time but it does get easier.
I had a bad experience, along with many others. I'm still alive so i'm coping with the pain. Some day's it hurts really bad, you still grieve a lot. And other days you may not hardly think of that person at all. It all depends.
All that I know is, is that it hasnt gone away, it's just a little easier.
I've tried really hard to let what i went through not hinder my life, but i'm affraid that i've failed that in some ways. When a big part of your life and who you are goes missing it's hard not to let it affect you. It's been a few years now and i know they're never coming back. I've accepted that I just still find it very hard.
I think it's important to remember and keep good memories and feelings. But it it is also essential to move on.
Your son is in a better place, He's happy and free there.
And one day you'll be with him again.
wow, thanks for that ilona:-6 I am sorry that you went through a bad experience also....You are right that it does get a bit easier, but you never forget. This Friday will be my son's birthday....he will be 15 years old up in heaven!:-4 I gave birth to him stillborn on Mothers' Day...so that holliday is bitter sweet for me.....but I'm thankful for my three healthy boys!! :-4:-4:-4
Does time heal wounds?
You are very welcome wendy.
I once watched a program which was about a psychic.
I don't know if you believe in that or not, but this woman had died, and had a misscariage years before.
The psychic was talking to a friend of this womans and said that she was with a "young boy" and she got very confused thinking huh what young boy she never had children? And the psychic asked if she had ever had a miscarriage or something along those lines and the woman answered back that yes her friend did. And then the woman was totally shocked that the child she had miscarriaged was now with her and they were together.
Even tho the child never lived in the world, it did live inside her and therefore had a spirit. I don't know why i told you this, it just really touched me.
On his birthday he will be looking down on you i'm sure. And i think he would be happy that your happy. I also think losing a child and having others could be kind of bitter sweet. As your always looking at them wondering what the one you lost would be like and things like that.
I think it's a very hard thing to cope with, and I think you are a very brave woman.
I once watched a program which was about a psychic.
I don't know if you believe in that or not, but this woman had died, and had a misscariage years before.
The psychic was talking to a friend of this womans and said that she was with a "young boy" and she got very confused thinking huh what young boy she never had children? And the psychic asked if she had ever had a miscarriage or something along those lines and the woman answered back that yes her friend did. And then the woman was totally shocked that the child she had miscarriaged was now with her and they were together.
Even tho the child never lived in the world, it did live inside her and therefore had a spirit. I don't know why i told you this, it just really touched me.
On his birthday he will be looking down on you i'm sure. And i think he would be happy that your happy. I also think losing a child and having others could be kind of bitter sweet. As your always looking at them wondering what the one you lost would be like and things like that.
I think it's a very hard thing to cope with, and I think you are a very brave woman.
[QUOTE]:DLive Everyday Like It's Your Last :-6[/QUOTE]
Does time heal wounds?
Time may ease pain that we go through but then something may happen to bring it all back and again we relive every moment and every tear thats been shed comes back and fresh tears are added.
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Does time heal wounds?
Hi WW:-4 i dont talk about my pain very much, but i realy feel for you, and thikn i can sort of understand, althoug yes we are all different.
My son lived for four hours, but i never got to see him alive.. i did see him and hold him but he had already gone. Did you get to hold your son Wendy?
Well my pain hides away in the back of my mind most of the time, but when it resurfaces its still so painful, and yes i still weep, and my son would be 23 now. I know what you mean about people saying well at least it was quick, better than 3 or 4 etc. they mean well.... but no its not better,, what i wouldnt give to have had my son for just a few days,, a few hours even to see a movement,, his eyes open,, his little fingers holding mine,, i am still to this day quite bitter about it, and mourn the lack of memories more than anything, that i cant ever think of him with a smile, like you do sometimes after a while when you have lost a loved one,, when you remember something good, or nice or funny about them. thats what i mean when i say i can sort of understand about you having a stillborn baby, somehow its harder:-4 (well in my mind it is probably because thats my experience).
Even typing this has been hard foir me and i want to cry straight away when i start to talk about him. I have Photo's the hospital took. It was just a polaroid, but years later my mam asked if she could borrow it to get a replica took a proper larger photo. i delayed and delayed, and finally gave in. why? i was worried she was going to put up the photo in her living room, i couldnt cope with that. I had confided in my sis in law and i think she must have told my mam cos she never did put the photo up.
Dont worry about the way you reacted to the box WW. He is in your heart, we all cope differently:-4:-4
My son lived for four hours, but i never got to see him alive.. i did see him and hold him but he had already gone. Did you get to hold your son Wendy?
Well my pain hides away in the back of my mind most of the time, but when it resurfaces its still so painful, and yes i still weep, and my son would be 23 now. I know what you mean about people saying well at least it was quick, better than 3 or 4 etc. they mean well.... but no its not better,, what i wouldnt give to have had my son for just a few days,, a few hours even to see a movement,, his eyes open,, his little fingers holding mine,, i am still to this day quite bitter about it, and mourn the lack of memories more than anything, that i cant ever think of him with a smile, like you do sometimes after a while when you have lost a loved one,, when you remember something good, or nice or funny about them. thats what i mean when i say i can sort of understand about you having a stillborn baby, somehow its harder:-4 (well in my mind it is probably because thats my experience).
Even typing this has been hard foir me and i want to cry straight away when i start to talk about him. I have Photo's the hospital took. It was just a polaroid, but years later my mam asked if she could borrow it to get a replica took a proper larger photo. i delayed and delayed, and finally gave in. why? i was worried she was going to put up the photo in her living room, i couldnt cope with that. I had confided in my sis in law and i think she must have told my mam cos she never did put the photo up.
Dont worry about the way you reacted to the box WW. He is in your heart, we all cope differently:-4:-4
FOC THREAD PART1
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.
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WonderWendy3
- Posts: 12412
- Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:44 am
Does time heal wounds?
ilona17;858709 wrote: You are very welcome wendy.
I once watched a program which was about a psychic.
I don't know if you believe in that or not, but this woman had died, and had a misscariage years before.
The psychic was talking to a friend of this womans and said that she was with a "young boy" and she got very confused thinking huh what young boy she never had children? And the psychic asked if she had ever had a miscarriage or something along those lines and the woman answered back that yes her friend did. And then the woman was totally shocked that the child she had miscarriaged was now with her and they were together.
Even tho the child never lived in the world, it did live inside her and therefore had a spirit. I don't know why i told you this, it just really touched me.
On his birthday he will be looking down on you i'm sure. And i think he would be happy that your happy. I also think losing a child and having others could be kind of bitter sweet. As your always looking at them wondering what the one you lost would be like and things like that.
I think it's a very hard thing to cope with, and I think you are a very brave woman.
The story about the psychic gave me goose pimples...I've imagined that so many times!! Thank you for that ilona!:-4
Carolly;858735 wrote: Time may ease pain that we go through but then something may happen to bring it all back and again we relive every moment and every tear thats been shed comes back and fresh tears are added.Very well said my sweet friend, very well said!:-4
kazalala;858825 wrote: Hi WW:-4 i dont talk about my pain very much, but i realy feel for you, and thikn i can sort of understand, althoug yes we are all different.
My son lived for four hours, but i never got to see him alive.. i did see him and hold him but he had already gone. Did you get to hold your son Wendy?
Well my pain hides away in the back of my mind most of the time, but when it resurfaces its still so painful, and yes i still weep, and my son would be 23 now. I know what you mean about people saying well at least it was quick, better than 3 or 4 etc. they mean well.... but no its not better,, what i wouldnt give to have had my son for just a few days,, a few hours even to see a movement,, his eyes open,, his little fingers holding mine,, i am still to this day quite bitter about it, and mourn the lack of memories more than anything, that i cant ever think of him with a smile, like you do sometimes after a while when you have lost a loved one,, when you remember something good, or nice or funny about them. thats what i mean when i say i can sort of understand about you having a stillborn baby, somehow its harder (well in my mind it is probably because thats my experience).
Even typing this has been hard foir me and i want to cry straight away when i start to talk about him. I have Photo's the hospital took. It was just a polaroid, but years later my mam asked if she could borrow it to get a replica took a proper larger photo. i delayed and delayed, and finally gave in. why? i was worried she was going to put up the photo in her living room, i couldnt cope with that. I had confided in my sis in law and i think she must have told my mam cos she never did put the photo up.
Dont worry about the way you reacted to the box WW. He is in your heart, we all cope differently
Thank you for sharing all of that with us Kaz, I know it was very difficult and it brought tears to my eyes because I feel your pain, I understand word for word and the emotions behind what you wrote.... I have the polaroid pics that the hospital took and pics of him in his casket, I did hold him as soon as he was delivered, it was very hard and painful and I will never forget it as long as I live.....crying as I write this btw!
I can understand you not wanting your baby's picture displayed, my husband worked with a man around the time we lost our son (within about a year or so, they formed a friendship) and he and his wife had a stillborn child and displayed it in the living room for everyone to see. It was very difficult for me to see, even though it wasn't my child, it reminded me of my sweet Mason.
And for the record, the box is safe and sound in my closet, about 4 feet from where I am sitting at this moment! a perfect spot on a shelf for my perfect angels memorabila!:-4
I once watched a program which was about a psychic.
I don't know if you believe in that or not, but this woman had died, and had a misscariage years before.
The psychic was talking to a friend of this womans and said that she was with a "young boy" and she got very confused thinking huh what young boy she never had children? And the psychic asked if she had ever had a miscarriage or something along those lines and the woman answered back that yes her friend did. And then the woman was totally shocked that the child she had miscarriaged was now with her and they were together.
Even tho the child never lived in the world, it did live inside her and therefore had a spirit. I don't know why i told you this, it just really touched me.
On his birthday he will be looking down on you i'm sure. And i think he would be happy that your happy. I also think losing a child and having others could be kind of bitter sweet. As your always looking at them wondering what the one you lost would be like and things like that.
I think it's a very hard thing to cope with, and I think you are a very brave woman.
The story about the psychic gave me goose pimples...I've imagined that so many times!! Thank you for that ilona!:-4
Carolly;858735 wrote: Time may ease pain that we go through but then something may happen to bring it all back and again we relive every moment and every tear thats been shed comes back and fresh tears are added.Very well said my sweet friend, very well said!:-4
kazalala;858825 wrote: Hi WW:-4 i dont talk about my pain very much, but i realy feel for you, and thikn i can sort of understand, althoug yes we are all different.
My son lived for four hours, but i never got to see him alive.. i did see him and hold him but he had already gone. Did you get to hold your son Wendy?
Well my pain hides away in the back of my mind most of the time, but when it resurfaces its still so painful, and yes i still weep, and my son would be 23 now. I know what you mean about people saying well at least it was quick, better than 3 or 4 etc. they mean well.... but no its not better,, what i wouldnt give to have had my son for just a few days,, a few hours even to see a movement,, his eyes open,, his little fingers holding mine,, i am still to this day quite bitter about it, and mourn the lack of memories more than anything, that i cant ever think of him with a smile, like you do sometimes after a while when you have lost a loved one,, when you remember something good, or nice or funny about them. thats what i mean when i say i can sort of understand about you having a stillborn baby, somehow its harder (well in my mind it is probably because thats my experience).
Even typing this has been hard foir me and i want to cry straight away when i start to talk about him. I have Photo's the hospital took. It was just a polaroid, but years later my mam asked if she could borrow it to get a replica took a proper larger photo. i delayed and delayed, and finally gave in. why? i was worried she was going to put up the photo in her living room, i couldnt cope with that. I had confided in my sis in law and i think she must have told my mam cos she never did put the photo up.
Dont worry about the way you reacted to the box WW. He is in your heart, we all cope differently
Thank you for sharing all of that with us Kaz, I know it was very difficult and it brought tears to my eyes because I feel your pain, I understand word for word and the emotions behind what you wrote.... I have the polaroid pics that the hospital took and pics of him in his casket, I did hold him as soon as he was delivered, it was very hard and painful and I will never forget it as long as I live.....crying as I write this btw!
I can understand you not wanting your baby's picture displayed, my husband worked with a man around the time we lost our son (within about a year or so, they formed a friendship) and he and his wife had a stillborn child and displayed it in the living room for everyone to see. It was very difficult for me to see, even though it wasn't my child, it reminded me of my sweet Mason.
And for the record, the box is safe and sound in my closet, about 4 feet from where I am sitting at this moment! a perfect spot on a shelf for my perfect angels memorabila!:-4
Does time heal wounds?
WonderWendy3;859684 wrote: The story about the psychic gave me goose pimples...I've imagined that so many times!! Thank you for that ilona!:-4
Very well said my sweet friend, very well said!:-4
Thank you for sharing all of that with us Kaz, I know it was very difficult and it brought tears to my eyes because I feel your pain, I understand word for word and the emotions behind what you wrote.... I have the polaroid pics that the hospital took and pics of him in his casket, I did hold him as soon as he was delivered, it was very hard and painful and I will never forget it as long as I live.....crying as I write this btw!
I can understand you not wanting your baby's picture displayed, my husband worked with a man around the time we lost our son (within about a year or so, they formed a friendship) and he and his wife had a stillborn child and displayed it in the living room for everyone to see. It was very difficult for me to see, even though it wasn't my child, it reminded me of my sweet Mason.
And for the record, the box is safe and sound in my closet, about 4 feet from where I am sitting at this moment! a perfect spot on a shelf for my perfect angels memorabila!:-4
thanks Wendy, i know you understand, i knew you would. :-4 good luck in your new home:-4
Very well said my sweet friend, very well said!:-4
Thank you for sharing all of that with us Kaz, I know it was very difficult and it brought tears to my eyes because I feel your pain, I understand word for word and the emotions behind what you wrote.... I have the polaroid pics that the hospital took and pics of him in his casket, I did hold him as soon as he was delivered, it was very hard and painful and I will never forget it as long as I live.....crying as I write this btw!
I can understand you not wanting your baby's picture displayed, my husband worked with a man around the time we lost our son (within about a year or so, they formed a friendship) and he and his wife had a stillborn child and displayed it in the living room for everyone to see. It was very difficult for me to see, even though it wasn't my child, it reminded me of my sweet Mason.
And for the record, the box is safe and sound in my closet, about 4 feet from where I am sitting at this moment! a perfect spot on a shelf for my perfect angels memorabila!:-4
thanks Wendy, i know you understand, i knew you would. :-4 good luck in your new home:-4
FOC THREAD PART1
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Does time heal wounds?
Its really true "Time heal all wounds"
I don't know about others but in my case it always happened.
I don't know about others but in my case it always happened.