Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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Chezzie
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Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 9:41 am

Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by Chezzie »

Are you bored? Nothing to do? Nothing on the tube? Even the forum can't hold your attention? Here's some suggestions for activities you might try to fill your empty hours.

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Sniffle incessantly.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

Check out a novel from the library and write the surprise ending on its first page.

Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

Pay for your dinner with pennies.

Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Ask people what gender they are.

Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day..

Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book, claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
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kazalala
Posts: 13036
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 6:00 am

Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by kazalala »

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotflI love them all!!! ahh if only i had a glass eye:D




FOC THREAD PART1

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Martin Luther King Jr.
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chonsigirl
Posts: 33633
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am

Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by chonsigirl »

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.


:wah: They never rhyme!
littlemissgiggle
Posts: 2345
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 1:27 pm

Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by littlemissgiggle »

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

haha i am going to try that :wah:
kayleneaussie
Posts: 9127
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 3:11 am

Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by kayleneaussie »

LOVE THE LAST ONE.....MIGHT GIVE IT A TRY:yh_rotfl
FOC THREAD PART 1
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spot
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Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 5:19 pm
Location: Brigstowe

Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by spot »

Chezzie;765695 wrote: Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."


I've found, when teaching Morse Code, that getting someone to send is simple if you give out a card with the code in alphabetical order. So long as the learner knows his alphabet she can keep looking ahead fast enough to send.

It's the listening that's the hard part. Using the same card, one must hear the whole letter, search 26 codes for a match and write down the answer while backing up the next letter in one's head. It takes forever to learn the code sufficiently well to just transcribe. It puts people off.

So I sat down and made two cards this time, one in alphabetical order for sending and one in dit-dah order for listening. A also used colour-coded yes/no tick and cross symbols instead of the dot dash notation usually written, I think it's more obvious while learning.

Morse Code isn't binary, it's trinary, it uses Base 3 instead of Base 2. There's the dit taking one beat, there's the dah taking two beats and there's the silence taking three beats (though in practice I think people tend to use a silence of two beats - either way there are three values each element can take, dit dah and space). The binary equivalent of Morse Code is Huffmann code and nobody, for some reason, uses that manually even though it would take less time to transmit a given text. I'll leave working out why as an exercise for you.









Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
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FourPart
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Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by FourPart »

I once new an Amateur Radio Operator who said that with the more experienced Morse Operators you could actually tell who was sending by their 'accent' - or their style of keying.
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spot
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Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by spot »

I've never been good enough to have used Morse code. If I practice for half an hour I can get it back, but I never had a reason to send any. I used to listen on short wave when I was at school.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
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tude dog
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Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2007 11:48 am

Are you Bored? ~ Look no further for a solution to your problem

Post by tude dog »

-.- -... -.... -... -.-. ...-

KB6BCV

I had a novice license, didn't do much with it. It was a step for a technical license where I could use voice.

As far as telling the difference in telegraphers that is true. It started with my test in that I was asked how I preferred to have my message sent. He was trying to make it easy. As I remember quick letters longer pauses, slow letters not much pause.
What happened to Kamala Harris' campaign?
She had the black vote all locked up.
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