Signs Of Trouble In Santa's Marriage

[Chezzie]

10. He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish

exchange students.

9. Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear".

8. He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed.

7. He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized

holiday Barbie.

6. His new live-in person elf valet, Steve.

5. Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from

New Jersey.

4. He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake

because he's bugged the bedroom.

3. Lately, Mrs. Claus keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she

brings the elves their morning coffee.

2. Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of

the fireplace.

1. Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants.