Balooning Northumbrian style

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Cowl’d air ballooning!

An investigation has been ordered by the C.A.A. (Chillingham Air Authority) after the annual Heiferlaw Bank Cahd Air Ballooning Clubs high altitude barbecue, nearly ended in disaster on Sunday afternoon.

Apparently, the fuel, briquettes made from a mixture of sawdust, old rags and diesel oil, that was being used to cook a suckling pig on one of the twenty seven balloons in the air at the time became unstable causing a fire which threatened the lives of the fourteen people onboard. Thankfully tragedy was avoided because of the quick reactions of the balloons experienced pilot and the clubs traditional use of industrial waste skips instead of wicker baskets None of the passengers were injured in the incident

Capt. Smedley Earwig the pilot of the balloon in question said whey it waz a closes thing mind, we wa at aboot six thoosand feet wi fowateen people in the skip and the pig waz cookin a treet then bang tha waz flames and haf rah pork ahl owa tha shop. Luckily ahd dooned twelve pints of best bitta before wi tuk off so a put the fire oot nay botha, mynd the skip waz in a reet mess and smelt like the shambles bogs but a managed te git tha balloon doon safely. The poowa sowls in the skip got a rite gliff, thal no fancy a bacon sandwich furra while.

A spokesman for the club said that they had taken delivery of a quantity of gash diesel bought from a man in a pub in Seahouses but in future they would be buying it from their original supplier in Hadston.

A spokesman for the C.A.A. said that the investigation would be centered around the unusual fire fighting methods and the pilot drinking twelve pints of best bitter before the flight as the legal requirement is sixteen.

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My long suffering friends are all telling me “It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it”!

Have not tried it yet but will report back when I do

Paul.