I started reading Daniel Goleman’s book about Emotional Intelligence. Your Emotional Intelligence is your ability to manage, perceive, and assess emotions in yourself and in others. In other words, it’s your ability to get along with and influence others. It’s a combination of your interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. Goleman defines four areas of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
The full title of the book is Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Our interpersonal skills play a large part in how well we do in our careers and relationships. From my experience, it’s not often the brightest or hardest working individual who gets the promotions; it’s more often the one who appears most confident, has excellent communication skills, and good leadership qualities. People who suffer from social anxiety often lack those types of skills and may very well wind up in situations where they are smarter than their boss.
The promotional title reads: “The Groundbreaking Book That Redefines What It Means To Be Smart.” This is probably a misnomer. Emotional intelligence deals with personality and how well you can get along with others. It is measured in terms of Emotional Intelligence Quotient or simply Emotional Quotient. People with high EQs are often more successful in life than people with low EQs, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re smarter. They just have personalities that make them more likely to be successful.
The book is pretty interesting, although some of the examples Goleman provides are somewhat flawed and a few of his conclusions aren’t backed by experiments. Still, his writing style is informative and accessible. It makes for good bedtime reading.
More to come...
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence
Long time no see - it's good to see you around again.
I'll watch out for a copy of this book as it sounds intereting, thanks.
I'll watch out for a copy of this book as it sounds intereting, thanks.
Emotional Intelligence
Interesting post and well written, but I am a bit confused by the use of the word ‘intelligence’ when apparently intelligence is not at issue here, or is it? Antonio Damasio has written the book “The Feeling of What Happens, which indicates that emotion is basically what we call instinct and that feeling is the recognition of emotion by the self.
Feeling gives the creature a reason for recognizing emotion. “The availability of feeling is also the stepping stone for the next development—the feeling of knowing that we have feelings. In turn, knowing is the stepping stone for the process of planning specific and non stereotyped responses which can either complement an emotion or guarantee that the immediate gains brought by emotion can be maintained over time, or both. In other words, “feeling feelings extends the reach of emotions by facilitating the planning of novel and customized forms of adaptive response.
Feeling gives the creature a reason for recognizing emotion. “The availability of feeling is also the stepping stone for the next development—the feeling of knowing that we have feelings. In turn, knowing is the stepping stone for the process of planning specific and non stereotyped responses which can either complement an emotion or guarantee that the immediate gains brought by emotion can be maintained over time, or both. In other words, “feeling feelings extends the reach of emotions by facilitating the planning of novel and customized forms of adaptive response.
Emotional Intelligence
Bryn Mawr;547944 wrote: Long time no see - it's good to see you around again.
I'll watch out for a copy of this book as it sounds intereting, thanks.
Thanks Bryn!
Pinky;547951 wrote: I E can often mean not getting involved. The second you involve yourself emotionally, you become far more involved than you may mean to.
It's knowing when to back off and stay emotionally uninvolved and when to step in with all guns blazing.
Good point, Pinky. IE includes your ability to manage your emotions in ways that are satisfying and productive, part of which could be your ability to NOT get emotionally involved. Lacking a sense of efficacy in your ability to manage your emotions could likely invoke anxiety in anticipation of certain situations where you'd rather not appear emotional.
coberst;547967 wrote: Interesting post and well written, but I am a bit confused by the use of the word ‘intelligence’ when apparently intelligence is not at issue here, or is it? Antonio Damasio has written the book “The Feeling of What Happens”, which indicates that emotion is basically what we call instinct and that feeling is the recognition of emotion by the self.
Right, our emotions come from the limbic system in the brain -- the primitive structures that are responsible for "fight or flight" reactions to dangerous situations. But in humans and other mammals, the neocortex is connected to the limbic system and we have the ability to control our emotions and to learn interpersonal skills, so in a way, it is a type of intelligence. Some understanding of our emotions is required for the management of those emotions.
Feeling gives the creature a reason for recognizing emotion. “The availability of feeling is also the stepping stone for the next development—the feeling of knowing that we have feelings. In turn, knowing is the stepping stone for the process of planning specific and non stereotyped responses which can either complement an emotion or guarantee that the immediate gains brought by emotion can be maintained over time, or both. In other words, “feeling” feelings extends the reach of emotions by facilitating the planning of novel and customized forms of adaptive response.”
Goleman describes it as having feelings about our feelings. The limbic system is also responsible for memory, and when emotional events are stored in memory, they're stored in a region that is quickly accessible. When the brain searches for a memory, the more emotionally charged memories are the first to be retrieved.
Soberano;547968 wrote: I can see where some of this is coming from.
I was never the brightest spark in school, bloody hated it and couldn't wait to get out in fact but i had more common sense than most. I decided to start learning when i left school and went to college etc.
A few years experience working for people and never staying anywhere more than a year. When i had had enough of most of the people i worked with and for i set out on my own.
I can still remember the director of the last company i worked for saying "You are a fool, you have a future here".
It did not take me long to build a solid very profitable business. I found it very easy, i do wonder why a lot more people don't do the same.
You're making a good case for why emotional intelligence is important. Obviously, you have good interpersonal skills. It seemed easy for you because you have those skills. Some people are born with those skills, others grow up in an environment where those skills are cultivated and nurtured. On the other hand, environmental factors can also hurt a person's EI. I haven't gotten to that part in the book yet, but it seems like there's a pretty close correlation to self-esteem.
Hamster;547973 wrote: I have read this book and also "Destructive emotions" by the same author.
Somewhat lacking in factual back up as has been said but I believe it helped me get control of my emotions and pause before I react to them. This wasn't happening before as I was producing an automatic response to an emotion.
Yeah, if you look at it as a science book, it's flawed, but the concepts are useful and interesting, and Goleman is an entertaining writer. I'll have to check out Destructive Emotions after I'm done with this. He also wrote a book called Vital Lies, Simple Truths. The title is intriguing.
I'll watch out for a copy of this book as it sounds intereting, thanks.
Thanks Bryn!
Pinky;547951 wrote: I E can often mean not getting involved. The second you involve yourself emotionally, you become far more involved than you may mean to.
It's knowing when to back off and stay emotionally uninvolved and when to step in with all guns blazing.
Good point, Pinky. IE includes your ability to manage your emotions in ways that are satisfying and productive, part of which could be your ability to NOT get emotionally involved. Lacking a sense of efficacy in your ability to manage your emotions could likely invoke anxiety in anticipation of certain situations where you'd rather not appear emotional.
coberst;547967 wrote: Interesting post and well written, but I am a bit confused by the use of the word ‘intelligence’ when apparently intelligence is not at issue here, or is it? Antonio Damasio has written the book “The Feeling of What Happens”, which indicates that emotion is basically what we call instinct and that feeling is the recognition of emotion by the self.
Right, our emotions come from the limbic system in the brain -- the primitive structures that are responsible for "fight or flight" reactions to dangerous situations. But in humans and other mammals, the neocortex is connected to the limbic system and we have the ability to control our emotions and to learn interpersonal skills, so in a way, it is a type of intelligence. Some understanding of our emotions is required for the management of those emotions.
Feeling gives the creature a reason for recognizing emotion. “The availability of feeling is also the stepping stone for the next development—the feeling of knowing that we have feelings. In turn, knowing is the stepping stone for the process of planning specific and non stereotyped responses which can either complement an emotion or guarantee that the immediate gains brought by emotion can be maintained over time, or both. In other words, “feeling” feelings extends the reach of emotions by facilitating the planning of novel and customized forms of adaptive response.”
Goleman describes it as having feelings about our feelings. The limbic system is also responsible for memory, and when emotional events are stored in memory, they're stored in a region that is quickly accessible. When the brain searches for a memory, the more emotionally charged memories are the first to be retrieved.
Soberano;547968 wrote: I can see where some of this is coming from.
I was never the brightest spark in school, bloody hated it and couldn't wait to get out in fact but i had more common sense than most. I decided to start learning when i left school and went to college etc.
A few years experience working for people and never staying anywhere more than a year. When i had had enough of most of the people i worked with and for i set out on my own.
I can still remember the director of the last company i worked for saying "You are a fool, you have a future here".
It did not take me long to build a solid very profitable business. I found it very easy, i do wonder why a lot more people don't do the same.
You're making a good case for why emotional intelligence is important. Obviously, you have good interpersonal skills. It seemed easy for you because you have those skills. Some people are born with those skills, others grow up in an environment where those skills are cultivated and nurtured. On the other hand, environmental factors can also hurt a person's EI. I haven't gotten to that part in the book yet, but it seems like there's a pretty close correlation to self-esteem.
Hamster;547973 wrote: I have read this book and also "Destructive emotions" by the same author.
Somewhat lacking in factual back up as has been said but I believe it helped me get control of my emotions and pause before I react to them. This wasn't happening before as I was producing an automatic response to an emotion.
Yeah, if you look at it as a science book, it's flawed, but the concepts are useful and interesting, and Goleman is an entertaining writer. I'll have to check out Destructive Emotions after I'm done with this. He also wrote a book called Vital Lies, Simple Truths. The title is intriguing.