Misty-eyed FG nostalgia?

[Marie5656]

I have been here less than a year, and the garden is not "the same" as when I started out. But is that a bad thing? I really do not think so. Message forums, like friendships and other things evolve. With that evolution comes both good and bad.

Do I miss some of the folks who no longer post here regularly? Of course. Will I leave because THEY are gone..no, it would take much more than that.

I like the fact that this place is familiar while ever changing. That is what keeps me coming back.

I may not post much dome days..but I am always here and never let a day go by where I do not at least take a stroll through the garden.

[Galbally]

Very good post, pinky, and as a 5000+ oldie now (wow I didn't even notice!), I can say that what you are saying is true. Its not actually changed that much, I just think that people's relationship with the place changes as they become more senior, and also people just get fed up sometimes, FG is whatever people want it to be, and thats been my experience of it. I still love it anyways. :-6

[Bill Sikes]

Pinky;540623 wrote:

So come on then, how do you remember it? What's so different?


There's more nastiness - that doesn't bother me too much.

There's a lot more reaction and wittering (sp?) by outraged Maiden Aunt types.

Poisonous people are tolerated!! Extraordinary. No idea why.

There's far more talk of religion and all that stuff.

There's a lot more behind-the-scenes organised vandalism, as was shown a

few weeks ago.

There's rather less content.

That's about it!



Posters come and go as their lives change. Some go off in a huff. C'est la vie.

[Accountable]

I've changed. I post less. Maybe that colors my attitude as much as my attitude colors what and when I post.

[Marie5656]

Hindsight is not always 20/20. People always want what used to be, because they "remember" it as somehow better than what is now.

For me, it is interesting to note that some of my "favorite" posters here are some that have been considered "trouble" justified or not. Sometimes they added spark to the place.

But, interesting enough, I visited a place where some of the former members are visiting, and it is just not the same.

I think the mix of personalities is what keeps me coming back here. Like Accountable, I find I do not post as often as before..but it may be just that the newness has worn off for me. Does not mean I like it here less...but I do find I have expanded a bit and do other things as well as visit here.

The content has not changed much..what people talk about has changed, but not the actual content.

The atmosphere...that changes as members come and go. Just the norm for any group..be it in the cyber world or in real life.

[WonderWendy3]

Well, I consider myself a "Newbie" to a degree, compared to alot of people here.



I don't think that I can comment on how much its changed, since about a month into my time here a MAJOR fight/take-over happened...so it seemed...I had no clue what was going on...I was just strolling along, in the garden having fun and the next thing I know...Someone is saying nasty things to another....and people are saying good-bye on their own threads!!

I must be blind, cause I don't really see the sex talk, and if I offended anyone by anything I said, I surely didn't mean to....

I like it here, and as been said before, people come and go into your life, why should a public forum be any different? It's up to us to keep those friendships that we cherish, I'm thankful for the friendships already found here in the Garden, there are some beautiful people here.....:-4

[K.Snyder]

I ignore all of that...

It keeps me out of trouble, and besides...I'm not going to waist any part of my day arguing on a computer, it's rather childish.

[RedGlitter]

What Bill said.

Too much pcness in the way of real discussion. Most peopel generally do not intend to be insulting to others in their terminology or remarks and often when it does happen it's an accident. I've noticed people being fast to jump on others for it when it's really not necessary. That shuts down communication a bit.

I was once involved in one of the arguments and I let someone get the better of me so I can't complain much about the fighting. I can complain about the junior high school bathroom mentality I've seen on here. A well known member sent me a nastygram trying to get rid of me and I only sent it to HQ because I knew her tricks. She got banned. Some of her friends have blamed me for that even though it was just the final straw in her ongoing behavior. That mentality sucks.

FG isn't perfect but it's a good place to come to. A lot of the problems have left. I'm glad for that. Already I have seen a pleasant difference. Some people have left and they were never problems. I know some of you guys think I'm a problem, but I'm not leaving, thanks.

I say that in jest although it's probably a little bit true. We can't all be everybody's cup of tea but I think most of us get along pretty well from what I have seen.

How about a choice in some new skins and some fresh topics! I'd like to see that.

[WonderWendy3]

Pinky;540667 wrote: I totally agree Novelty!

WonderWendy, IMO you've been a wonderful addition to the garden!


Thank you Pinky, that was very sweet of you to say...:-6



Love and Compassion is good...

[WonderWendy3]

flopstock;540674 wrote: sex, drugs and rock and roll..


and the arcade...complete circle:)

[SuzyB]

I think it is very much like real life, their are always people that you tend to bond with straight away and on the other end of the spectrum, ones that you avoid like the plague.

I know that i am guilty of some posts which are full of innuendos, but I didn't think for one second that I'd be offending anyone. But I can honestly say that i write as i speak (Unfortuantly) and sometimes things just fly out without crude meanings behind it.

Things are always changing and nothing stays the same in real life and we'd be silly to think that it would happen in the garden. It is inevitable that people may decide to move on but I hope that they always feel that they are welcome back.

I have read many old posts and i have seen fights, plus lots of risky threads, and I think that i will read many more in the future.

I just feel as though people should try to be a little more tolerant of each other and try, no matter how tempting, to not jump on the band wagon of the latest fight, it would almost certainly die a lot quicker.

I find the garden is a great place to come and it really is big enough for everyone :-6

[RedGlitter]

Pinky;540681 wrote: I agree...I thought I'd ask the original question in response to an awful lot of people expressing their discontent about the nature of the forum these days, I really just want to find out why this is...is it just the change in contributors? If so, is this really a bad thing? New people bring new ideas.

There have been some really enlightening replies so far, keep 'em coming!


I think the new people are great! They've already spiced things up with good topics, and their enthusiasm. Plus they haven't fallen into the trap of knowing members long enough that they don't really feel they need ask anything. I mean most of you regulars know where I stand on animal issues for example but a new member may not and may post a pertinent topic about it that lets in fresh blood. Er...so to speak.

[minks]

I feel qualified to contribute a little here....

FG used to be different in the ways of

~it was small and felt like family

~everyone was brand new to each other and we all wanted to impress each other

~we played in the pub a lot, I mean look at those posts in there, and it was a mainstay of the forum, it was an escape for many of us... it's seldom used now

~trolls had not yet found us

What happened

~we grew very large very quickly

~we became very real life, folks made hardcore friends and supported friends

~we found when differences arose we got support from our friends and we would kind of thrive on a gang like ideal. (some good some bad of course)

~we lost some very good old members for reasons that upset everyone in different ways.

~incidents have happened and many folks tread lightly, or have bitter feelings and we have tainted ourselves, and our feeling for FG in some ways.

~we have grown offensive and easily offended as a result of this...

I guess the bottom line is we grew... with growth comes change, with change comes differences in ideas, ideals, opinions etc.

These of course are just the opinion of an old broad from way back.

[pantsonfire321@aol.com]

I've been here dead on two years and so i've seen many a change and plenty of people come and go . I also think admin used to be around a lot more and kept a tighter ship , now it feels like a free for all . It seems we have rules but they are rarely inforced - what sort of message does that send out.

Its not the same old place i remember . I think the wounds are to deep so instead of fighting the battle of the moment old disagreements keep coming back and back . .

[AussiePam]

(((((((( Pinky )))))))))

Giving heartfelt hugs never changes!!! :-6

[pantsonfire321@aol.com]

Pinky;540750 wrote: It's true Pants...I've noticed people getting personal towards each other because there are old grudges. It's a shame really, although most people have been making an effort to put it behind them and move on as far as I've seen anyway.

Someone made a nasty and uncalled for insulting attack to another member over the weekend, causing the victim of it to not come here since.

Instaed of facing their actions or even trying to put it right, they deleted their account. Maybe that's a good thing if those were her true colours anyway!


I know about that . I'm a member of that 'other' place but don't post much.

I think here we just need admin to be around a lot more and enforce the rules that we already have .

[Lulu2]

I've only been posting here since July. When I first joined in, I was overwhelmed at the friendliness I saw in those who welcomed me and posted with me.

Now, I realize that lurking underneath this board is a very small but very dedicatedly nasty group of people who are willing to do just about anything they can to drive away people they don't like. More than a few of the people I invited to join here have left because they saw the results of the behavior I just mentioned.

It's sad, because it really does destroy trust and foul the air. Administration is uneven, although I'm told it used to be better.

Do I feel the same way about this board as I did last July? No. Do I post with the same feeling of freedom and fellowship? No.

Do I still enjoy parts of the board? Certainly and will continue to join in there.

There's much that's good in the Garden and many fine people whose humor and good intentions I enjoy.

[Lulu2]

(Pinks..you're one of the main reasons I felt welcomed!) :-4



PANTS said something wise: "I think here we just need admin to be around a lot more and enforce the rules that we already have ."

ABSOLUTELY TRUE!

[ARgi]

helefra;540773 wrote: All I can say to those of you who come across an argument is to let it go, even if you feel as though you want to hit the person on the other side of the computer - it only makes matters worse. Respond to the positive comments and I think you will find that this will make you feel much better, as responding to the negative comments will only make you feel worse.




this is so true.

[Shweet tatersalad]

If you mix minks and Lulu it's pretty much how i feel.

I have noticed the growing pains.

When I first joined it was a fun and open minded forum,and what i mean by open minded is that you could express your opinion and it stood that way.Now i notice if your opinion is not the popular one,you will be attacked in some form,you may be asked too explain you feel that way,then asked again,then asked again and so on until it becomes a all out brawl.

What is missing now the "thanks for your thoughts,although I don't feel the same way you do I respect your opinion as a person" part of this forum.

[koan]

There has never been a time on FG when all the members were happy with how the board was running.

There have always been members wishing that other members would either leave or be banned and at times made concerted efforts to either embarrass the unwanteds from the board, set them up so they would cross a line and get banned and even to the point of threatening the members via emails or PMs. Which members stayed and which members left has flip flopped more than once and newbies have joined and become senior members throughout. I had about a year away from FG awhile back and it changed a lot but was always the same place.

I'm astonished when I see admin criticised on FG. Tombstone is the most consistent, well reasoned, patient and tolerant admin I think a forum could ask for. There have been times when I disagreed with his decisions but I always had respect for them. This persistent talk about rules not being enforced is utter nonsense. This board had a number of full fledged moderators at one point. It caused more problems than it solved.

Here is what Tombstone had to say about the community and moderation in Sept, 2006

link http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/showp ... stcount=33

Hi Everyone,

Good discussion going on. I do not want to dampen the conversation, but let me put a few cents in.

1. A quick factual point: I've been involved with communities since 1986 - at which time I ran a large BBS. It later evolved into another BBS which became a large ISP. The only reason I'm mentioning this is to give you a little background about myself. I'm not a "johnny come lately" and have been through every conceivable ring of fire when it comes to anything Internet related.

2. FG is for reasonable adults. Moderation *has to take place on the personal level. There is no way in the world I can control what people say.

3. FG has a "soft" moderation system in place: "Report a post." It is very effective.

4. In regards to the slow nature of my actions here: True and False!

a. False: The community rarely sees in incredibly large volume of spam, trolls, and hackers. I am usually able to nip them in the bud pretty quickly. Sometimes not, but as you know, FG is not full of porn, spam, or get rich quick schemes.

b. True: Some arguments need to be hashed out a bit. When they devolve into nastiness, they are gently placed into the "Compost Pile". Think I'm doing anyone a favor? You should see the angry letters I get when I deem something nasty: "Censorship!" I remind them that *they wouldn't allow a person to walk into their home and smear it with feces, why should I?

c. Community moderation is a train-wreck waiting to happen. Been there, done that. Why? It's very simple: See point 5.

5. Moderation works great until YOU are the one being moderated. Don't even bother to argue with me on this. I have more data to prove this point than I can store on a 1 gig hard drive.

6. Utopias do not exist. It's a fact of life. You make friends and gain respect by your actions here. A moderator cannot control that. An admin cannot control that. Since it is a community, those of like minds will stick together. That's what it is all about. You cannot expect the entire community to love you all the time. You are what you post.

7. ForumGarden is a place to discuss news, events, and your life. Please continue!

[Galbally]

Yes, I have to say that although its only happened once, that I felt it necessary to report a post, it was dealt with sensibly, and pretty promptly. If you have a real problem about something, you can pm tombstone and he will listen to you. It works, and common-sense, self-regulation by members is generally much preferable to censorship or endless rules having to be enforced by the site, but if its really required, its done, thats my experience.

[koan]

The only ways to be sure admin sees your complaint is to PM him, use "Contact Us" at the bottom of the page, put his name in the title of a thread or put the thread in the "Problems Solutions and Feedback" area.

Aside from that, he is too busy handling the stuff we never see and, imo, it is being quite rude to a gracious host. Like Galbally, I've never had trouble getting a response from Admin whether I agreed with the response or not.

[cherandbuster]

I've been a member for about nine months now; I believe I joined about the same time as Pinky and Marie.

The 'cast of characters' is everchanging, and it took me a while to understand that 'that's just the way it is'. I used to rush home and get on the computer immediately - I never wanted to miss a day in FG!

As time has gone on, my participation has leveled out a bit. That's O.K.: it has assumed a place in my life that I hope will be there for a long time. If I miss a couple of days, I don't mind; I've got a life outside of this. I think that is healthy.

I've never gotten too involved in the fights and arguments here; I admit that they're hard to ignore, but I rarely take sides and push it to the limits. It simply isn't worth it to me.

That's not to say that *the people* here aren't worth it to me -- quite the contrary. But the disagreements and entanglements pass, and life at FG goes on.

I'm still proud and honored to be a member of the FG community. :-6

[Peg]

I really don't believe admin needs to be here more. He has a life outside this forum.The members are supposed to be adults. You would expect them to act like adults.

I've seen many changes both good and bad. That's life. There's a lot of people I miss, some I don't miss. I have really enjoyed the newbies lately. I don't post a whole lot. As time as gone on, people have become more comfortable and push the boundries. I don't care to post and have my words twisted, the grammar police come in, etc. Still, I enjoy the people and the posts.

[guppy]

hey, this aint walt disney world yall....just like in rl, people come here to talk, vent, grieve, laugh, socialise, flirt, talk, debate......tell jokes...and fight, argue, and bicker......aint it fun?



i love forum garden and all the diversity......:-4

[chonsigirl]

FG is different through it's various stages, it is going through one now. The different posters come and go, the dimensions change.

Do we get nostalgic for the old days? Sure we do, but are realistic enough to know they will never return.

Can some adjust to the different dynamics? That is what time will tell us.

Some days it is easy, some days it is not. IMO I go away on days it is not, I only frequent one other forum and poetry site. That is enough to keep me busy, like I have nothing to do anyway.

It is like life, as it is in flux around us, it can be difficult to see change. Change is not a negative concept, it is just something that is not the same way you have known. It is comfortable to remain the same, and always causes a little thinking, uneasiness, whatever, to go with it.