Lesser-known Gods

[Lulu2]

(I found this today while looking for something else....serendipity!)



The Lesser Known Gods And Demi-Gods Of Greece

Listed below is a selected list of many of the lesser-known gods and

demi-gods of Greece that have apparently been ignored or forgotten by

historians for various and sundry reasons. Some of these gods were obviously

important and useful in everyday life habits, others apparently had no

redeeming value whatsoever, but somehow achieved god - or goddesshood.

This list is presented here in the hopes that it will prove helpful to someone

somewhere, sometime.

* Egregious - God of Errors.

Though he spent virtually all his life with the other gods and goddesses on

Mount Olympus, he is rumored to have left for a short vacation to the south

of France where he met and had an affair with the French goddess, Faux Pas.

Egregious was one of the smartest gods on Mount Olympus. In fact, many

thought he might be as smart as Zeus, though no one would ever admit this

publicly. However, his unfortunate habit of making so many mistakes kept him

from becoming one of the better-known gods.

When asked how someone so smart could make so many stupid mistakes, his

reply was always "You learn from your mistakes. Obviously, I've made so MANY

mistakes, I've become a genius!"

* Melanoma - God of Tanning.

Often seen away from Mount Olympus and down along the sandy beaches of

southern Greece, Melanoma could have been ranked up there with the other

major gods of his time, He was strong, handsome, and had a body that

attracted all the goddesses. His only major fault was getting involved with

the mortal Macedonian strip queen, Ultra Violet.

The two of them constantly played naked in the sun along the Greek

shoreline. Zeus, upon seeing Melanoma cavorting with a non-Olympian, decided

to punish him by taking away his immortality. This didn't seem to bother

Melanoma at first and he continued to associate with Ultra Violet and played

in the buff each day. Soon though, Melanoma started to notice small dark

patches on his skin that eventually became cancerous. He died a quick, but

horrible death, with Ultra Violet at his side till the very end.

* Ozone - God of Memory.

Ozone was another failed god. Upon attaining godhood, Zeus asked Ozone to

choose the subject for which he would be revered for all time. He chose

Memory. To celebrate his attaining full godliness, Ozone married his school

sweetheart, Amnesia. However, their foggy relationship soon resulted in the

complete loss of all the records of all the great gods on Mount Olympus.

Zeus retaliated by immediately expelling Ozone to Southern California, where

he was held prisoner in the dreaded "Inversion Layer" along with the evil

nether-world dragon-god of progress and technology, Smog.

* Pancreas - Demi-god of Dessert.

Father of the sugar gods, Arabinose, Fructose, and Glucose.

Pancreas was a short-lived god who spent most of his time on coffee breaks

eating donuts. His marriage to Diabetes was no help to him at all and he

died soon after they had their three sons.

* Peristalsis - God of Bowel Movements.

Revered for his strength and perseverance, Peristalsis occupied a special

place in the bathrooms of old Greece. Figurines in his likeness stood next

to or near the place of anal evacuation. A special prayer to Peristalsis

often accompanied a trip to the bathroom in some of the better bathrooms of

high-society Greeks.

* Uvula - Goddess of Swallowing.

Uvula was an often unappreciated goddess who spent most of her time at the

back of the room of all the other gods and goddesses on Mount Olympus. Only

when she cleared her throat did anyone bother to pay any attention to her.

She originally came from Rome and was accepted into the Greek goddess

system, but only because of the promise she showed. She was reported to

spend some time with the god Fellatio (a part-Italian god) who promised to

show her something she could do that would make her one of the most revered

goddesses of all of Mount Olympus (at least by the gods there). They were to

meet one hot and steamy night under an olive tree where Fellatio would show

her what she could do. Unfortunately, Fellatio never came.

* Zirconia - Goddess of Costume Jewelry.

Often in direct competition with the goddesses Titanium and Platinum,

Zirconia was pretty much always relegated to being allowed only to attend

the lesser parties on Mount Olympus at which the great gods and goddesses

were rarely present. As a result, Zirconia was subsequently ignored by most

historians and now only shows up on the backs of magazines for really cheap

prices.

[Lulu2]

Maybe we should perform some rituals, MF? I'll take Zirconia....you?

[Lulu2]

Not enough room? Devotees of the BIGGER gods didn't you to know about the others?

I'm building a temple to SENILIA....she often seems to be holding me in her arms! :rolleyes: