Hi there !!!
what is going on ?
i have very strong feelings for a colleague who lives with his girlfriend.they have been seeing each other for just over a year and she is immature, selfish,clingy and dependent and makes a fuss every time his 5 yr old daughter has to stay with them (she is from his previous relationship which ended a year prior to his current relationship)
his girlfriend is not particularly attractive, doesnt treat him well and they have little in common.
My colleague and i hit it off immediately and the chemistry was electric,however after 6 months waiting for him to make a move (i dropped so many hints) he is still with her.
i have pulled right back and no longer allow him to try and charm me (he would gaze into my eyes, make any excuse to talk to me for 2 hours on end and still watches me all the time)
i am a few years older than him but very attractive and independent. we share the same interests and sense of humour.
i have realised that i have too much self respect to "wait around" any longer and have been getting on with my life. i have good friends and a very active life and am happy being single but i could not help falling in love with him.
i have to see him every day at work and am managing to be strong and feel very positive but i just dont understand what he has been playing at.
Can any of you males out there explain to me why he wont make a move when he is clearly so attracted to me on a physical, intellectual and emotional level?.
He is not engaged to this girl.
i would welcome any comments
Thank you
turquoise
Why wont he make a move ?
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;509465 wrote: Hi there !!!
what is going on ?
i have very strong feelings for a colleague who lives with his girlfriend.they have been seeing each other for just over a year and she is immature, selfish,clingy and dependent and makes a fuss every time his 5 yr old daughter has to stay with them (she is from his previous relationship which ended a year prior to his current relationship)
He obviously sees something you dont
his girlfriend is not particularly attractive, doesnt treat him well and they have little in common.
As above
My colleague and i hit it off immediately and the chemistry was electric,however after 6 months waiting for him to make a move (i dropped so many hints) he is still with her.
And why should'nt he be?
i have pulled right back and no longer allow him to try and charm me (he would gaze into my eyes, make any excuse to talk to me for 2 hours on end and still watches me all the time)
And?
i am a few years older than him but very attractive and independent. we share the same interests and sense of humour.
So go find a guy that wants you!
i have realised that i have too much self respect to "wait around" any longer and have been getting on with my life. i have good friends and a very active life and am happy being single but i could not help falling in love with him.
i have to see him every day at work and am managing to be strong and feel very positive but i just dont understand what he has been playing at.
Erm... its called flirting :rolleyes:
Can any of you males out there explain to me why he wont make a move when he is clearly so attracted to me on a physical, intellectual and emotional level?.
I'm not a male, but i can almost certainly say that he wont make a move because he's in love with the immature, selfish,clingy and dependent woman he lives with!
He is not engaged to this girl.
i would welcome any comments
Thank you
turquoise...
what is going on ?
i have very strong feelings for a colleague who lives with his girlfriend.they have been seeing each other for just over a year and she is immature, selfish,clingy and dependent and makes a fuss every time his 5 yr old daughter has to stay with them (she is from his previous relationship which ended a year prior to his current relationship)
He obviously sees something you dont
his girlfriend is not particularly attractive, doesnt treat him well and they have little in common.
As above
My colleague and i hit it off immediately and the chemistry was electric,however after 6 months waiting for him to make a move (i dropped so many hints) he is still with her.
And why should'nt he be?
i have pulled right back and no longer allow him to try and charm me (he would gaze into my eyes, make any excuse to talk to me for 2 hours on end and still watches me all the time)
And?
i am a few years older than him but very attractive and independent. we share the same interests and sense of humour.
So go find a guy that wants you!
i have realised that i have too much self respect to "wait around" any longer and have been getting on with my life. i have good friends and a very active life and am happy being single but i could not help falling in love with him.
i have to see him every day at work and am managing to be strong and feel very positive but i just dont understand what he has been playing at.
Erm... its called flirting :rolleyes:
Can any of you males out there explain to me why he wont make a move when he is clearly so attracted to me on a physical, intellectual and emotional level?.
I'm not a male, but i can almost certainly say that he wont make a move because he's in love with the immature, selfish,clingy and dependent woman he lives with!
He is not engaged to this girl.
i would welcome any comments
Thank you
turquoise...
Why wont he make a move ?
she's a pain in the Butt and he's still with her?
means she's good in the sack.
means she's good in the sack.
Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view
Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.
Why wont he make a move ?
Wolverine;509477 wrote: she's a pain in the Butt and he's still with her?
means she's good in the sack.
Or that!
means she's good in the sack.
Or that!
Why wont he make a move ?
Thanks for the views !
Abbey
-yes i do understand what flirting is but if he is in love with his girlfriend and she is so good in bed then i hardly think he would feel the need to put so much time and energy into charming me.Ever heard of "emotional infidelity" ?
"Why shouldnt his girlfriend make a fuss when his 5yr old comes to stay?" -
a)because she is adorable and
b) because his girlfriend moved in with him fully aware of the custody agreement and as his daughter is a permanent feature in his life and a part of him, if she loves him she should accept that.
it is the girlfriend who has the tantrums every time the child stays over !!!
Wolverine
- i am AMAZING in bed but HE wont be getting the chance to find that out now-
HIS LOSS !!
Diuretic-
i think he does feel obligated to his girlfriend but i think i will also have to accept the fact that he loves her too.
If i didnt have to see him every day at work it would be a lot easier for me but unfortunately that is not an option.
The colder i get with him the more he chases me but i am not interested in playing that game.
He has really hurt me but i am moving on.....it is strange because he gets so jealous whenever he sees me talking to other males.....but i dont do "casual flings"-that was never on offer and i think he knew that all along......
the best thing i can do now is treat him with indifference, would you agree ?
Abbey
-yes i do understand what flirting is but if he is in love with his girlfriend and she is so good in bed then i hardly think he would feel the need to put so much time and energy into charming me.Ever heard of "emotional infidelity" ?
"Why shouldnt his girlfriend make a fuss when his 5yr old comes to stay?" -
a)because she is adorable and
b) because his girlfriend moved in with him fully aware of the custody agreement and as his daughter is a permanent feature in his life and a part of him, if she loves him she should accept that.
it is the girlfriend who has the tantrums every time the child stays over !!!
Wolverine
- i am AMAZING in bed but HE wont be getting the chance to find that out now-
HIS LOSS !!
Diuretic-
i think he does feel obligated to his girlfriend but i think i will also have to accept the fact that he loves her too.
If i didnt have to see him every day at work it would be a lot easier for me but unfortunately that is not an option.
The colder i get with him the more he chases me but i am not interested in playing that game.
He has really hurt me but i am moving on.....it is strange because he gets so jealous whenever he sees me talking to other males.....but i dont do "casual flings"-that was never on offer and i think he knew that all along......
the best thing i can do now is treat him with indifference, would you agree ?
Why wont he make a move ?
It has been my experience to discover that when men give you a list of dissatisfactions regarding their live in mates.... they are full of bull. If you were to meet the " girlfriend" you would be amazed at her version of things. I also know ( took years to learn) that by discussing these issues outside of his relationship... he is showing no regard for the privacy that should exist between the two of them. Hes no prize either. Hes a FISHERMAN. Likes to shop around for the possibility of something better, while he holds on to who he has. My mom calls this scenario.... hanging around waiting for someone elses " Left Overs" I always found her comment to be insulting, but in my life, it has turned out to be quite correct. As women we need to cultivate a loyalty to other women. Not jump on the side of dissatisfied males every time they winge and complain about situations they are in that we REALLY know nothing about.
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Tater Tazz
- Posts: 2938
- Joined: Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:25 am
Why wont he make a move ?
You could make the first move, but, you might feel silly if he is just flirting with you. He apperently likes the person he is with or he would have gotten rid of her by now. I don't know if you really like him just ask him if he would like to go to dinner? If he says I have a girlfriend, say you know that, you wanted to take both of them to get to know his girlfriend.
Why wont he make a move ?
He won't make a move because he wants his cake and eat it too.
Been in that situation myself with someone who was engaged to a younger woman who was very attractive but a right cow. Whereas I was plainer but nicer (and modest too)
He and I were very good friends, we had loads in common, spent a lot of time together and I fell for him badly. One night we were both drunk after a party and he offered sex on a plate if I wanted it. I didn't, at the time I was still a virgin and wanted my first time to be with someone who felt the same way about me as I did about him.
In the end the only way I could cope with my feelings for him was to create a distance between us, both physically and emotionally. It worked. I am now married with a family, last I heard of him he'd split up with that girlfriend and had more but was still single, desperate for a family and getting older and not wiser!
The best advice I can give you is to detach yourself from him, it will hurt but you will survive. He on the other hand will always have his eye on the next woman and will probably never find true happiness with anyone. She obviously gives him what he needs at the moment but it probably won't last. Would you really be happy with someone who you know will always be looking around to see who else is about?
Been in that situation myself with someone who was engaged to a younger woman who was very attractive but a right cow. Whereas I was plainer but nicer (and modest too)
He and I were very good friends, we had loads in common, spent a lot of time together and I fell for him badly. One night we were both drunk after a party and he offered sex on a plate if I wanted it. I didn't, at the time I was still a virgin and wanted my first time to be with someone who felt the same way about me as I did about him.
In the end the only way I could cope with my feelings for him was to create a distance between us, both physically and emotionally. It worked. I am now married with a family, last I heard of him he'd split up with that girlfriend and had more but was still single, desperate for a family and getting older and not wiser!
The best advice I can give you is to detach yourself from him, it will hurt but you will survive. He on the other hand will always have his eye on the next woman and will probably never find true happiness with anyone. She obviously gives him what he needs at the moment but it probably won't last. Would you really be happy with someone who you know will always be looking around to see who else is about?
Originally Posted by spot
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
She is one fit bitch innit, that Immy
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
Why wont he make a move ?
Heres an interesting story.. And it explains why I made the the observations I did. Ill try to be brief. Back in around 1978... I fell in love (in the purist way) with a co-worker. We were both married with young children. I was miserable married to an alcoholic. He was just miserable. ( Although he did go on to have a second child with the object of his dissatisfaction. I listened to him whine and complain for about 15 years. It was so sad. He was so unhappy with X in every way. Sexual dissatisfaction being top of the list. And she just generally made him feel like crap. I knew her also. We socialized a bit as couples.... but he was my buddy. If only he could be mine!!! Id make him so happy!!! My God, he was such a nice guy!!! I fantasised ( I can never spell that word) about having sex with him for at least 20 years. From 1992 till 1995 we had a break in communication. I was busy, after my divorce, coping with adjusting to life as a single.... poor... mom. One grey, February day... My knight in shining armour called.. out of the blue. Would I like to meet for lunch? Would I???? My spirits soared!!! THE LUNCH..... Guess what? He was still miserable, still married, and still sexually unfufilled. He told me." Ive always loved you Weeder. He filed for divorce shortly after that lunch. We began dating almost immediately. You must remember, for me.. this was being with a dear true friend Id known for years. The night of the big sexual encounter......... Rented a hotel room. The level of expectation was indescribable. IT WAS AWFUL!!! HE WAS AWFUL!! He was inconsiderate, selfish, inept, and just generally revolting. Your not going to believe this.... I stayed with him anyway. I made excuses, I thought it would get better. I told myself, " You love him for so many other reasons. I can live with this. Hes recovering from 20 years of a bad thing. I also wanted him in my life for my sons. I relocated to a rural location with him. It took him 6 years to have his divorce final. During those 6 years.... I HELPED him get on his feet. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. His sexual performance never improved. The reason for this is because he was a narcissict. Selfish, Self Centered, Jealous, Controlling, Narrow Minded, Bigoted, Jealous... and a Homophobic to boot. Oh Yeah, Lazy Too. There is so much more to tell.... but I will Zoom to the ending. I eventually helped him land a very good job. He began to change at home. He accused me of being a lesbian. He said I made him feel like crap every day. ( Im LMAO right now) I left him ( after 6 years of living together) 2 days before Christmas. On that Christmas Day he brought a woman home to meet his family. She moved into my home on January 1. He had met her at the new job and evidently had been confiding in her about how miserable.... and I would suppose, sexually unhappy he was with me. I wish he had just remained my friend. I had the audacity to look into someone elses marriage and make judgements. I foolisly believed everything he said about his wife. If only I had spoken to her first. I betrayed a female who was a very good woman. I suffered for this greatly. I eventually apologized to her. I lost my self respect for a while. I lost a lot of money. I lost years of my life. I lost my spontaneous ability to trust. I may have lost my ability to love.... I guess that remains to be seen....... Did you like the BRIEF story??
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Bill Sikes
- Posts: 5515
- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:21 am
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;509784 wrote: - i am AMAZING in bed
Yeah, right.
turquoise;509784 wrote: but HE wont be getting the chance to find that out now-
HIS LOSS !!
Good for him. You, OTOH, ought to a) be ashamed of yourself, and b) put a
stopper in it.
Yeah, right.
turquoise;509784 wrote: but HE wont be getting the chance to find that out now-
HIS LOSS !!
Good for him. You, OTOH, ought to a) be ashamed of yourself, and b) put a
stopper in it.
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;509784 wrote: the best thing i can do now is treat him with indifference, would you agree ?
Pffft....yeah, treat an honest man who is faithful to his girlfriend with "indifference", seeing as how it's SO WRONG of him to be both honest and faithful.
Older than this guy and dense as a bag of wet mice.....
Pffft....yeah, treat an honest man who is faithful to his girlfriend with "indifference", seeing as how it's SO WRONG of him to be both honest and faithful.
Older than this guy and dense as a bag of wet mice.....
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
Why wont he make a move ?
BabyRider;509959 wrote: Pffft....yeah, treat an honest man who is faithful to his girlfriend with "indifference", seeing as how it's SO WRONG of him to be both honest and faithful.
Older than this guy and dense as a bag of wet mice.....##
what a wonderfully intelligent and articulate response.
perhaps if you had actually taken the time to read my posts carefully you would realise that he is being anything but faithful to his girlfriend.
for your information i hold a degree in English Language and Literature and am a fully qualified solicitor.
Older than this guy and dense as a bag of wet mice.....##
what a wonderfully intelligent and articulate response.
perhaps if you had actually taken the time to read my posts carefully you would realise that he is being anything but faithful to his girlfriend.
for your information i hold a degree in English Language and Literature and am a fully qualified solicitor.
Why wont he make a move ?
Bill Sikes;509900 wrote: Yeah, right.
Good for him. You, OTOH, ought to a) be ashamed of yourself, and b) put a
stopper in it.
ashamed of what exactly ?
Good for him. You, OTOH, ought to a) be ashamed of yourself, and b) put a
stopper in it.
ashamed of what exactly ?
Why wont he make a move ?
weeder;509899 wrote: Heres an interesting story.. And it explains why I made the the observations I did. Ill try to be brief. Back in around 1978... I fell in love (in the purist way) with a co-worker. We were both married with young children. I was miserable married to an alcoholic. He was just miserable. ( Although he did go on to have a second child with the object of his dissatisfaction. I listened to him whine and complain for about 15 years. It was so sad. He was so unhappy with X in every way. Sexual dissatisfaction being top of the list. And she just generally made him feel like crap. I knew her also. We socialized a bit as couples.... but he was my buddy. If only he could be mine!!! Id make him so happy!!! My God, he was such a nice guy!!! I fantasised ( I can never spell that word) about having sex with him for at least 20 years. From 1992 till 1995 we had a break in communication. I was busy, after my divorce, coping with adjusting to life as a single.... poor... mom. One grey, February day... My knight in shining armour called.. out of the blue. Would I like to meet for lunch? Would I???? My spirits soared!!! THE LUNCH..... Guess what? He was still miserable, still married, and still sexually unfufilled. He told me." Ive always loved you Weeder. He filed for divorce shortly after that lunch. We began dating almost immediately. You must remember, for me.. this was being with a dear true friend Id known for years. The night of the big sexual encounter......... Rented a hotel room. The level of expectation was indescribable. IT WAS AWFUL!!! HE WAS AWFUL!! He was inconsiderate, selfish, inept, and just generally revolting. Your not going to believe this.... I stayed with him anyway. I made excuses, I thought it would get better. I told myself, " You love him for so many other reasons. I can live with this. Hes recovering from 20 years of a bad thing. I also wanted him in my life for my sons. I relocated to a rural location with him. It took him 6 years to have his divorce final. During those 6 years.... I HELPED him get on his feet. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. His sexual performance never improved. The reason for this is because he was a narcissict. Selfish, Self Centered, Jealous, Controlling, Narrow Minded, Bigoted, Jealous... and a Homophobic to boot. Oh Yeah, Lazy Too. There is so much more to tell.... but I will Zoom to the ending. I eventually helped him land a very good job. He began to change at home. He accused me of being a lesbian. He said I made him feel like crap every day. ( Im LMAO right now) I left him ( after 6 years of living together) 2 days before Christmas. On that Christmas Day he brought a woman home to meet his family. She moved into my home on January 1. He had met her at the new job and evidently had been confiding in her about how miserable.... and I would suppose, sexually unhappy he was with me. I wish he had just remained my friend. I had the audacity to look into someone elses marriage and make judgements. I foolisly believed everything he said about his wife. If only I had spoken to her first. I betrayed a female who was a very good woman. I suffered for this greatly. I eventually apologized to her. I lost my self respect for a while. I lost a lot of money. I lost years of my life. I lost my spontaneous ability to trust. I may have lost my ability to love.... I guess that remains to be seen....... Did you like the BRIEF story??
i appreciate the time you have taken to answer my post and am sorry you had this terrible experience however perhaps i didnt explain very well that i DO know his girlfriend and have SEEN and HEARD for myself how she treats him, he has never once complained to me of her shortcomings !!! that is the major difference between our experiences.Also i have already accepted he wont leave her and that even if he did my self respect would not allow him into my heart.i have heard similar stories to yours, one about a woman who left her husband and 4 children to move 100 miles to be closer to the man she loved. She has been waiting 12 years for him to leave HIS wife and is still waiting.i agree entirely that it is wrong to make judgements about someone elses relationship based on what one of the parties is telling you.I am lucky that this situation has occurred at a point in my life where i am enjoying high self esteem.A few years back when i was not so self-aware i could easily have fallen into a self destructive trap of endless waiting and agonising over what could have been.I am very lucky to have lost only a few months to this idiot PLUS in many ways the situation has actually benefitted me in making me a stronger person. I should say that i am an eternal optimist and always find the silver lining !!! i hope your life is better now and wish you all the best. Turquoise
i appreciate the time you have taken to answer my post and am sorry you had this terrible experience however perhaps i didnt explain very well that i DO know his girlfriend and have SEEN and HEARD for myself how she treats him, he has never once complained to me of her shortcomings !!! that is the major difference between our experiences.Also i have already accepted he wont leave her and that even if he did my self respect would not allow him into my heart.i have heard similar stories to yours, one about a woman who left her husband and 4 children to move 100 miles to be closer to the man she loved. She has been waiting 12 years for him to leave HIS wife and is still waiting.i agree entirely that it is wrong to make judgements about someone elses relationship based on what one of the parties is telling you.I am lucky that this situation has occurred at a point in my life where i am enjoying high self esteem.A few years back when i was not so self-aware i could easily have fallen into a self destructive trap of endless waiting and agonising over what could have been.I am very lucky to have lost only a few months to this idiot PLUS in many ways the situation has actually benefitted me in making me a stronger person. I should say that i am an eternal optimist and always find the silver lining !!! i hope your life is better now and wish you all the best. Turquoise
Why wont he make a move ?
Diuretic;510470 wrote: "Solicitor" meaning a lawyer, you must be in the UK turquoise, a "solicitor" means something differerent in the US, usually referring to tele-marketers.
Brought to you in the hope of achieving mutual understanding folks.
Thank you Diuretic, I am in Scotland (Edinburgh). It is funny because i really enjoyed your first reply as it was worded so much like my best friends e-mails.He is an extremely thoughtful and wise individual, rather like yourself from the sound of things !!
With regards to treating my colleague with polite indifference i fully agree that using any stronger tactics would only allow him to see he still had a hold over me, tempting as it is to ignore him completely !!
Yesterday i asked for another male colleagues assistance with a tempremental fax machine and "Loser" (as i will now politely refer to him as) practically leapt across 3 desks to intervene. I thanked him politely for his assistance but minus the glowing smile he would have been rewarded with a while back.
You seem to be the only respondent "on my side" at the moment. Unfortunately the (mostly) female respondents appear to have blamed me, immediately casting me as a "husband stealer" when i have made it clear that i was never interested in an affair and genuinely believed his feelings for me were as strong as my feelings for him.
I have accepted that he must love his girlfriend and won't leave her and i think i stated before that even if he did i have too much self respect to get involved now.
I was only hoping for some fresh insights into his past and current behaviour to help with my "closure" of this situation.
Thanks again Diuretic, i look forward to hearing more of your wise and comforting words !
Turquoise
Brought to you in the hope of achieving mutual understanding folks.
Thank you Diuretic, I am in Scotland (Edinburgh). It is funny because i really enjoyed your first reply as it was worded so much like my best friends e-mails.He is an extremely thoughtful and wise individual, rather like yourself from the sound of things !!
With regards to treating my colleague with polite indifference i fully agree that using any stronger tactics would only allow him to see he still had a hold over me, tempting as it is to ignore him completely !!
Yesterday i asked for another male colleagues assistance with a tempremental fax machine and "Loser" (as i will now politely refer to him as) practically leapt across 3 desks to intervene. I thanked him politely for his assistance but minus the glowing smile he would have been rewarded with a while back.
You seem to be the only respondent "on my side" at the moment. Unfortunately the (mostly) female respondents appear to have blamed me, immediately casting me as a "husband stealer" when i have made it clear that i was never interested in an affair and genuinely believed his feelings for me were as strong as my feelings for him.
I have accepted that he must love his girlfriend and won't leave her and i think i stated before that even if he did i have too much self respect to get involved now.
I was only hoping for some fresh insights into his past and current behaviour to help with my "closure" of this situation.
Thanks again Diuretic, i look forward to hearing more of your wise and comforting words !
Turquoise
Why wont he make a move ?
weeder;509818 wrote: It has been my experience to discover that when men give you a list of dissatisfactions regarding their live in mates.... they are full of bull. If you were to meet the " girlfriend" you would be amazed at her version of things. I also know ( took years to learn) that by discussing these issues outside of his relationship... he is showing no regard for the privacy that should exist between the two of them. Hes no prize either. Hes a FISHERMAN. Likes to shop around for the possibility of something better, while he holds on to who he has. My mom calls this scenario.... hanging around waiting for someone elses " Left Overs" I always found her comment to be insulting, but in my life, it has turned out to be quite correct. As women we need to cultivate a loyalty to other women. Not jump on the side of dissatisfied males every time they winge and complain about situations they are in that we REALLY know nothing about.
He has never complained about his girlfriend to me, i have met her and witnessed for myself the way she behaves on several occasions.
He has never complained about his girlfriend to me, i have met her and witnessed for myself the way she behaves on several occasions.
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LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
Why wont he make a move ?
Why is it that people expect to post such situations on an open forum and expect everyone to be "on their side"?
Sounds like your co-worker is a shameless flirt at best and a CAD at worst. But, other then flirting, I have seen nothing in your post to suggest that he is unfaithful and yet YOU seem to think that he should be.
As for your interpretation of his girlfriend, I am guessing that since he is not messing up the sheets with you, she makes him happy on some level. There is sooooo much more to a man/woman relationship than what one shows/sees in public and you have no idea what that is.
Honestly - leave him alone. There are words for women who put themselves between men and their significant other and Homewrecker is the only one I can post. Besides, if he leaves her for you then what in the world makes you think that he won't leave you for someone else?
Sounds like your co-worker is a shameless flirt at best and a CAD at worst. But, other then flirting, I have seen nothing in your post to suggest that he is unfaithful and yet YOU seem to think that he should be.
As for your interpretation of his girlfriend, I am guessing that since he is not messing up the sheets with you, she makes him happy on some level. There is sooooo much more to a man/woman relationship than what one shows/sees in public and you have no idea what that is.
Honestly - leave him alone. There are words for women who put themselves between men and their significant other and Homewrecker is the only one I can post. Besides, if he leaves her for you then what in the world makes you think that he won't leave you for someone else?
Sandi
Why wont he make a move ?
Imladris;509845 wrote: He won't make a move because he wants his cake and eat it too.
Been in that situation myself with someone who was engaged to a younger woman who was very attractive but a right cow. Whereas I was plainer but nicer (and modest too)
He and I were very good friends, we had loads in common, spent a lot of time together and I fell for him badly. One night we were both drunk after a party and he offered sex on a plate if I wanted it. I didn't, at the time I was still a virgin and wanted my first time to be with someone who felt the same way about me as I did about him.
In the end the only way I could cope with my feelings for him was to create a distance between us, both physically and emotionally. It worked. I am now married with a family, last I heard of him he'd split up with that girlfriend and had more but was still single, desperate for a family and getting older and not wiser!
The best advice I can give you is to detach yourself from him, it will hurt but you will survive. He on the other hand will always have his eye on the next woman and will probably never find true happiness with anyone. She obviously gives him what he needs at the moment but it probably won't last. Would you really be happy with someone who you know will always be looking around to see who else is about?
Can a woman not describe herself as "very attractive" without being accused of immodesty ?!!
I only mentioned this in my first post as i thought it relevant as if the "object of my affections" girlfriend had been more attractive than me i would at least have been halfway to understanding why he was allowing her to behave as she is and choosing to stay with her.
I know you will object but it is a universally acknowledged truth that most men rate appearance over every other quality. Yes i know it is unfair.
Your advice is excellent and yes i am putting as much distance between us emotionally as i can however the physical distance is not so easy as we work in the same office and this is unlikely to change anytime soon.
Maybe i am being naive in thinking i was special to him, that i wasnt just another woman he had his eye on. I felt we connected on every level , that we were "soulmates".
As far as i know he is anything but a serial philanderer, in fact he lived with his first girlfriend from the age of 20 to 25.
I know i can be happy on my own or with someone else, i am not desperate for marriage or children but would have treated his daughter like my own.
I think they will get married eventually and be happy in their own way. I know many couples thrive on arguments and sulky behaviour. I could never stay in a relationship like that.Life is too short.
I am very glad everything worked out well for you.I love happy endings !!!
Been in that situation myself with someone who was engaged to a younger woman who was very attractive but a right cow. Whereas I was plainer but nicer (and modest too)
He and I were very good friends, we had loads in common, spent a lot of time together and I fell for him badly. One night we were both drunk after a party and he offered sex on a plate if I wanted it. I didn't, at the time I was still a virgin and wanted my first time to be with someone who felt the same way about me as I did about him.
In the end the only way I could cope with my feelings for him was to create a distance between us, both physically and emotionally. It worked. I am now married with a family, last I heard of him he'd split up with that girlfriend and had more but was still single, desperate for a family and getting older and not wiser!
The best advice I can give you is to detach yourself from him, it will hurt but you will survive. He on the other hand will always have his eye on the next woman and will probably never find true happiness with anyone. She obviously gives him what he needs at the moment but it probably won't last. Would you really be happy with someone who you know will always be looking around to see who else is about?
Can a woman not describe herself as "very attractive" without being accused of immodesty ?!!
I only mentioned this in my first post as i thought it relevant as if the "object of my affections" girlfriend had been more attractive than me i would at least have been halfway to understanding why he was allowing her to behave as she is and choosing to stay with her.
I know you will object but it is a universally acknowledged truth that most men rate appearance over every other quality. Yes i know it is unfair.
Your advice is excellent and yes i am putting as much distance between us emotionally as i can however the physical distance is not so easy as we work in the same office and this is unlikely to change anytime soon.
Maybe i am being naive in thinking i was special to him, that i wasnt just another woman he had his eye on. I felt we connected on every level , that we were "soulmates".
As far as i know he is anything but a serial philanderer, in fact he lived with his first girlfriend from the age of 20 to 25.
I know i can be happy on my own or with someone else, i am not desperate for marriage or children but would have treated his daughter like my own.
I think they will get married eventually and be happy in their own way. I know many couples thrive on arguments and sulky behaviour. I could never stay in a relationship like that.Life is too short.
I am very glad everything worked out well for you.I love happy endings !!!
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;510456 wrote: ##
what a wonderfully intelligent and articulate response.
perhaps if you had actually taken the time to read my posts carefully you would realise that he is being anything but faithful to his girlfriend.
for your information i hold a degree in English Language and Literature and am a fully qualified solicitor.
I couldn't care less where your "education" lies, it doesn't lie in this matter. What I read is, "since he won't screw around with me and I can't break them up, the guy is a jerk and I'm humiliated that I don't get my way."
what a wonderfully intelligent and articulate response.
perhaps if you had actually taken the time to read my posts carefully you would realise that he is being anything but faithful to his girlfriend.
for your information i hold a degree in English Language and Literature and am a fully qualified solicitor.
I couldn't care less where your "education" lies, it doesn't lie in this matter. What I read is, "since he won't screw around with me and I can't break them up, the guy is a jerk and I'm humiliated that I don't get my way."
[FONT=Arial Black]I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
~Darrel Worley~
[/FONT]
Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????
We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.
Why wont he make a move ?
LilacDragon;510545 wrote: Why is it that people expect to post such situations on an open forum and expect everyone to be "on their side"?
Sounds like your co-worker is a shameless flirt at best and a CAD at worst. But, other then flirting, I have seen nothing in your post to suggest that he is unfaithful and yet YOU seem to think that he should be.
As for your interpretation of his girlfriend, I am guessing that since he is not messing up the sheets with you, she makes him happy on some level. There is sooooo much more to a man/woman relationship than what one shows/sees in public and you have no idea what that is.
Honestly - leave him alone. There are words for women who put themselves between men and their significant other and Homewrecker is the only one I can post. Besides, if he leaves her for you then what in the world makes you think that he won't leave you for someone else?
Having been in 2 long term relationships and having many "coupled-up" friends i am not some clueless teenager !!
Yes you are right that i cant expect everyone to be "on my side" but what i was trying to express was my disappointment that so many women fall into the trap of always blaming other women for "leading their men astray"
at best that is archaic ignorance
at worst it is just pathetic.
me leave him alone ?!!!! sorry can't you read ? HE is the one persuing me and now that i accept he wont leave her I AM LEAVING WELL ALONE.
Just wish he'd leave me alone.
i see you describe yourself as a "proud military wife"
i imagine you see marriage as your main achievment in life and happily stay at home doing housework, proud in the knowledge that your husband is helping the wonderful Mr George W Bush fulfill his dreams
Turquoise
Sounds like your co-worker is a shameless flirt at best and a CAD at worst. But, other then flirting, I have seen nothing in your post to suggest that he is unfaithful and yet YOU seem to think that he should be.
As for your interpretation of his girlfriend, I am guessing that since he is not messing up the sheets with you, she makes him happy on some level. There is sooooo much more to a man/woman relationship than what one shows/sees in public and you have no idea what that is.
Honestly - leave him alone. There are words for women who put themselves between men and their significant other and Homewrecker is the only one I can post. Besides, if he leaves her for you then what in the world makes you think that he won't leave you for someone else?
Having been in 2 long term relationships and having many "coupled-up" friends i am not some clueless teenager !!
Yes you are right that i cant expect everyone to be "on my side" but what i was trying to express was my disappointment that so many women fall into the trap of always blaming other women for "leading their men astray"
at best that is archaic ignorance
at worst it is just pathetic.
me leave him alone ?!!!! sorry can't you read ? HE is the one persuing me and now that i accept he wont leave her I AM LEAVING WELL ALONE.
Just wish he'd leave me alone.
i see you describe yourself as a "proud military wife"
i imagine you see marriage as your main achievment in life and happily stay at home doing housework, proud in the knowledge that your husband is helping the wonderful Mr George W Bush fulfill his dreams
Turquoise
-
LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;510657 wrote: Having been in 2 long term relationships and having many "coupled-up" friends i am not some clueless teenager !!
Yes you are right that i cant expect everyone to be "on my side" but what i was trying to express was my disappointment that so many women fall into the trap of always blaming other women for "leading their men astray"
at best that is archaic ignorance
at worst it is just pathetic.
me leave him alone ?!!!! sorry can't you read ? HE is the one persuing me and now that i accept he wont leave her I AM LEAVING WELL ALONE.
Just wish he'd leave me alone.
i see you describe yourself as a "proud military wife"
i imagine you see marriage as your main achievment in life and happily stay at home doing housework, proud in the knowledge that your husband is helping the wonderful Mr George W Bush fulfill his dreams
Turquoise
Oops. Time to change that description.
While I spent almost two years very proud of my military husband - it would behoove you to go back and read some of my posts from that year.
As for Bush and his dreams - I didn't vote for the liar, would never vote for the man and hope that someone in Congress grows a brain and holds him accountable for the American lives lost in a war that he lied to get us into.
As for "happily staying at home" - you are absolutely clueless and your assumption is not only pathetic but beyond ignorant. FYI - my husband is Infantry and spent every single day in the line of fire so that we could fight terrorist on someone else's soil instead of in the U.S. JUST so you know - he was wounded while he was there so if you think for a minute that ONE, SINGLE DAY of his tour wasn't a nightmare of waiting for a knock on the door then YOU haven't got a clue.
Now - since my husband has decided to leave me - for some young thing that couldn't keep her hands off of a man that she KNEW was married - I am sorry that you don't like my opinion of your situation. I am well aware that it takes two to tango and I have not, for a second, believed my husband to be some innocent bystander in what is going on in his life or mine.
But you know what - it really torques my crank when I hear someone of either sex wondering why, oh why, the married (or otherwise spoken for) object of their affection won't leave the situation that they are in. If you want to find a good man - LOOK FOR SOMEONE SINGLE!
And that is something that I have believed in since I was a CHILD. It is called RESPECT for others.
Yes you are right that i cant expect everyone to be "on my side" but what i was trying to express was my disappointment that so many women fall into the trap of always blaming other women for "leading their men astray"
at best that is archaic ignorance
at worst it is just pathetic.
me leave him alone ?!!!! sorry can't you read ? HE is the one persuing me and now that i accept he wont leave her I AM LEAVING WELL ALONE.
Just wish he'd leave me alone.
i see you describe yourself as a "proud military wife"
i imagine you see marriage as your main achievment in life and happily stay at home doing housework, proud in the knowledge that your husband is helping the wonderful Mr George W Bush fulfill his dreams
Turquoise
Oops. Time to change that description.
While I spent almost two years very proud of my military husband - it would behoove you to go back and read some of my posts from that year.
As for Bush and his dreams - I didn't vote for the liar, would never vote for the man and hope that someone in Congress grows a brain and holds him accountable for the American lives lost in a war that he lied to get us into.
As for "happily staying at home" - you are absolutely clueless and your assumption is not only pathetic but beyond ignorant. FYI - my husband is Infantry and spent every single day in the line of fire so that we could fight terrorist on someone else's soil instead of in the U.S. JUST so you know - he was wounded while he was there so if you think for a minute that ONE, SINGLE DAY of his tour wasn't a nightmare of waiting for a knock on the door then YOU haven't got a clue.
Now - since my husband has decided to leave me - for some young thing that couldn't keep her hands off of a man that she KNEW was married - I am sorry that you don't like my opinion of your situation. I am well aware that it takes two to tango and I have not, for a second, believed my husband to be some innocent bystander in what is going on in his life or mine.
But you know what - it really torques my crank when I hear someone of either sex wondering why, oh why, the married (or otherwise spoken for) object of their affection won't leave the situation that they are in. If you want to find a good man - LOOK FOR SOMEONE SINGLE!
And that is something that I have believed in since I was a CHILD. It is called RESPECT for others.
Sandi
Why wont he make a move ?
BabyRider;510642 wrote: I couldn't care less where your "education" lies, it doesn't lie in this matter. What I read is, "since he won't screw around with me and I can't break them up, the guy is a jerk and I'm humiliated that I don't get my way."
that is only your interpretation, only i know what i mean so you will have to accept that what i am asking is "if this man is so in love with his girlfriend why does he continue to pursue me ?"
i have accepted the fact that he loves her and will stay with her and of course i feel some degree of humiliation-not because i feel i have "lost a competition" but because i fell for him big time when he was obviously just stringing me along.I dont think you understand the pain that this mans behaviour has caused me and i would not take any pleasure from "breaking up" any couple.
As for your eloquent phrase "since he won't screw around with me"-as i have clearly stated i did not see this man as a "casual fling" i thought he felt as deeply for me as i did for him.
that is only your interpretation, only i know what i mean so you will have to accept that what i am asking is "if this man is so in love with his girlfriend why does he continue to pursue me ?"
i have accepted the fact that he loves her and will stay with her and of course i feel some degree of humiliation-not because i feel i have "lost a competition" but because i fell for him big time when he was obviously just stringing me along.I dont think you understand the pain that this mans behaviour has caused me and i would not take any pleasure from "breaking up" any couple.
As for your eloquent phrase "since he won't screw around with me"-as i have clearly stated i did not see this man as a "casual fling" i thought he felt as deeply for me as i did for him.
Why wont he make a move ?
But you know what - it really torques my crank
WHOA BABY !
Your crank is torqued ?
Really ? :sneaky:
WHOA BABY !
Your crank is torqued ?
Really ? :sneaky:
I AM AWESOME MAN
-
LilacDragon
- Posts: 1382
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:23 am
Why wont he make a move ?
Nomad;510720 wrote: But you know what - it really torques my crank
WHOA BABY !
Your crank is torqued ?
Really ? :sneaky:
Pm me darlin' and we can talk about it.
WHOA BABY !
Your crank is torqued ?
Really ? :sneaky:
Pm me darlin' and we can talk about it.
Sandi
Why wont he make a move ?
LilacDragon;510692 wrote: Oops. Time to change that description.
While I spent almost two years very proud of my military husband - it would behoove you to go back and read some of my posts from that year.
As for Bush and his dreams - I didn't vote for the liar, would never vote for the man and hope that someone in Congress grows a brain and holds him accountable for the American lives lost in a war that he lied to get us into.
As for "happily staying at home" - you are absolutely clueless and your assumption is not only pathetic but beyond ignorant. FYI - my husband is Infantry and spent every single day in the line of fire so that we could fight terrorist on someone else's soil instead of in the U.S. JUST so you know - he was wounded while he was there so if you think for a minute that ONE, SINGLE DAY of his tour wasn't a nightmare of waiting for a knock on the door then YOU haven't got a clue.
Now - since my husband has decided to leave me - for some young thing that couldn't keep her hands off of a man that she KNEW was married - I am sorry that you don't like my opinion of your situation. I am well aware that it takes two to tango and I have not, for a second, believed my husband to be some innocent bystander in what is going on in his life or mine.
But you know what - it really torques my crank when I hear someone of either sex wondering why, oh why, the married (or otherwise spoken for) object of their affection won't leave the situation that they are in. If you want to find a good man - LOOK FOR SOMEONE SINGLE!
And that is something that I have believed in since I was a CHILD. It is called RESPECT for others.
If only life were that simple !! you see i wasnt LOOKING for anyone at all ! i was (and still am) happy with my life, working, travelling and socialising. Marriage and children have never been my "ultimate goal" in life and whilst i have many happily married friends i am also able to see the many others who put up with anything rather than be alone.
Yes i knew this man had a girlfriend but you have to understand that we built up a close working relationship and i could not help my feelings for him develop especially not when he was doing everything possible to encourage them and i was sitting next to him for 40 hours minimum per week.
I would describe myself as a very moralistic person which is why i havent slept with this man and which is also why i no longer let him see the effect he has on me as i have accepted now that he loves and wants to stay with his girlfriend.
Unfortunately it is my experience that many "attached" men will present themselves as "single" for as long as they can get away with it.
You are absolutely correct, i am very ignorant of military life and apologise for my insensitive remarks.
I havent read any of your previous posts yet so am unfamiliar with your situation but from what you have told me here i understand your anger at my situation.
While I spent almost two years very proud of my military husband - it would behoove you to go back and read some of my posts from that year.
As for Bush and his dreams - I didn't vote for the liar, would never vote for the man and hope that someone in Congress grows a brain and holds him accountable for the American lives lost in a war that he lied to get us into.
As for "happily staying at home" - you are absolutely clueless and your assumption is not only pathetic but beyond ignorant. FYI - my husband is Infantry and spent every single day in the line of fire so that we could fight terrorist on someone else's soil instead of in the U.S. JUST so you know - he was wounded while he was there so if you think for a minute that ONE, SINGLE DAY of his tour wasn't a nightmare of waiting for a knock on the door then YOU haven't got a clue.
Now - since my husband has decided to leave me - for some young thing that couldn't keep her hands off of a man that she KNEW was married - I am sorry that you don't like my opinion of your situation. I am well aware that it takes two to tango and I have not, for a second, believed my husband to be some innocent bystander in what is going on in his life or mine.
But you know what - it really torques my crank when I hear someone of either sex wondering why, oh why, the married (or otherwise spoken for) object of their affection won't leave the situation that they are in. If you want to find a good man - LOOK FOR SOMEONE SINGLE!
And that is something that I have believed in since I was a CHILD. It is called RESPECT for others.
If only life were that simple !! you see i wasnt LOOKING for anyone at all ! i was (and still am) happy with my life, working, travelling and socialising. Marriage and children have never been my "ultimate goal" in life and whilst i have many happily married friends i am also able to see the many others who put up with anything rather than be alone.
Yes i knew this man had a girlfriend but you have to understand that we built up a close working relationship and i could not help my feelings for him develop especially not when he was doing everything possible to encourage them and i was sitting next to him for 40 hours minimum per week.
I would describe myself as a very moralistic person which is why i havent slept with this man and which is also why i no longer let him see the effect he has on me as i have accepted now that he loves and wants to stay with his girlfriend.
Unfortunately it is my experience that many "attached" men will present themselves as "single" for as long as they can get away with it.
You are absolutely correct, i am very ignorant of military life and apologise for my insensitive remarks.
I havent read any of your previous posts yet so am unfamiliar with your situation but from what you have told me here i understand your anger at my situation.
-
RedGlitter
- Posts: 15777
- Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:51 am
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;510707 wrote: that is only your interpretation, only i know what i mean so you will have to accept that what i am asking is "if this man is so in love with his girlfriend why does he continue to pursue me ?"
.
Because it's a game for him. You're fresh meat. Flirting with you breaks up his day and probably makes him feel like a better man because he knows he can get a rise out of you. It's a joke, a game. Don't be that girl who plays along.
It may be true you have feelings for him and that can't really be helped. But it's whether or not you act on those feelings that defines your character.
If nothing else, ask yourself this: would you really want a man who would leave his woman for YOU? Is that how low you'd stoop, to take a man who couldn't be trusted to stay with you once greener pastures showed up?
AND..the all time golden rule: would you want another woman to horn in on YOUR relationship?
If you're not saying "no" to both then nothing we can say will convince you.
.
Because it's a game for him. You're fresh meat. Flirting with you breaks up his day and probably makes him feel like a better man because he knows he can get a rise out of you. It's a joke, a game. Don't be that girl who plays along.
It may be true you have feelings for him and that can't really be helped. But it's whether or not you act on those feelings that defines your character.
If nothing else, ask yourself this: would you really want a man who would leave his woman for YOU? Is that how low you'd stoop, to take a man who couldn't be trusted to stay with you once greener pastures showed up?
AND..the all time golden rule: would you want another woman to horn in on YOUR relationship?
If you're not saying "no" to both then nothing we can say will convince you.
Why wont he make a move ?
Diuretic;510805 wrote: I'm just about to bail out of this one but T. have a look around the rest of the site, there is much to read, to query, to laugh at - and you'll see a different side to each of the posters in this thread. Hint - if you see a post about an axe murderer, it's not me okay? Nomie........wellllllllllllllllllll...just kidding Nomie (just as well he can take a joke, I hate upsetting axe murderers).
Best of luck with this thread and your RL of course.
You're right. I can take a joke. Except about that. Now I have some sharpening to do, excuse me please.
Best of luck with this thread and your RL of course.
You're right. I can take a joke. Except about that. Now I have some sharpening to do, excuse me please.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Why wont he make a move ?
I'd have to agree with Diruetic and a few of the others posts as well.
He doesn't want to leave the girlfriend, and you need to let it go.
I know you just said "he is the one pursuing" but so what? Does that mean you have to let him? Tell him off! Be blunt, if he doesn't get it through his head..tell him to leave you alone, and than if he still doesn't, consult with someone where you work about sexual harrassment.
He doesn't want to leave the girlfriend, and you need to let it go.
I know you just said "he is the one pursuing" but so what? Does that mean you have to let him? Tell him off! Be blunt, if he doesn't get it through his head..tell him to leave you alone, and than if he still doesn't, consult with someone where you work about sexual harrassment.
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;509465 wrote: Hi there !!!
i am a few years older than him but very attractive and independent.....i could not help falling in love with him......Can any of you males out there explain to me why he wont make a move....i would welcome any comments
turquoise
I have read this entire thread and have been entertained - especially by this last remark by Pinky. Right to the point! Love it. And Nomad, I've learned something about you that could be very useful. Are you available for a contract? Lilac Dragon, your advice was right on if you ask me, and you have my respect and empathy.
Now, Turquoise, it seems to me that the object of your affections HAS made a move. He is a flirt. He's not very honorable. And he's succeeded in what he set out to do. He has you on a string (or you would not have started this thread) and he's having a little fun with you. He's made it clear to you that he won't leave his girlfriend but you haven't given up yet. Oh, sure, you say you need "closure" and probably you want someone to tell you that you've acted honorably. I don't think you're going to feel any better about the subject after the gardeners are finished with this thread.
You should take some of your very good friends from your active social life and go on a cruise to take your mind off your problems.
i am a few years older than him but very attractive and independent.....i could not help falling in love with him......Can any of you males out there explain to me why he wont make a move....i would welcome any comments
turquoise
I have read this entire thread and have been entertained - especially by this last remark by Pinky.
Right to the point! Love it. And Nomad, I've learned something about you that could be very useful. Are you available for a contract? Lilac Dragon, your advice was right on if you ask me, and you have my respect and empathy. Now, Turquoise, it seems to me that the object of your affections HAS made a move. He is a flirt. He's not very honorable. And he's succeeded in what he set out to do. He has you on a string (or you would not have started this thread) and he's having a little fun with you. He's made it clear to you that he won't leave his girlfriend but you haven't given up yet. Oh, sure, you say you need "closure" and probably you want someone to tell you that you've acted honorably. I don't think you're going to feel any better about the subject after the gardeners are finished with this thread.
You should take some of your very good friends from your active social life and go on a cruise to take your mind off your problems.
Why wont he make a move ?
He probably has a bet on with some of his friends, take pinky's advice 
Why wont he make a move ?
Turquoise, it has nothing to do with taking sides. You asked for any and all comments, though you DID ask for the men to comment, not the women. What we women do for a little attention! I agree that you should take Pinky's advice. Then you should go for that cruise and remember how much, much more you're worth than you've given yourself credit for.
Why wont he make a move ?
turquoise;509465 wrote: Hi there !!!
what is going on ?
i have very strong feelings for a colleague who lives with his girlfriend.they have been seeing each other for just over a year and she is immature, selfish,clingy and dependent and makes a fuss every time his 5 yr old daughter has to stay with them (she is from his previous relationship which ended a year prior to his current relationship)
his girlfriend is not particularly attractive, doesnt treat him well and they have little in common.
My colleague and i hit it off immediately and the chemistry was electric,however after 6 months waiting for him to make a move (i dropped so many hints) he is still with her.
i have pulled right back and no longer allow him to try and charm me (he would gaze into my eyes, make any excuse to talk to me for 2 hours on end and still watches me all the time)
i am a few years older than him but very attractive and independent. we share the same interests and sense of humour.
i have realised that i have too much self respect to "wait around" any longer and have been getting on with my life. i have good friends and a very active life and am happy being single but i could not help falling in love with him.
i have to see him every day at work and am managing to be strong and feel very positive but i just dont understand what he has been playing at.
Can any of you males out there explain to me why he wont make a move when he is clearly so attracted to me on a physical, intellectual and emotional level?.
He is not engaged to this girl.
i would welcome any comments
Thank you
turquoise
He sounds like a player and a loser. The fact that he is "with" someone like that, is a good sign that he needs clingy and desperate girls.
Take it from me, someone who just got out of a situation with a man who had a girlfriend, who he didn't even live with (he lived with me). If he lives with her, forget it.
what is going on ?
i have very strong feelings for a colleague who lives with his girlfriend.they have been seeing each other for just over a year and she is immature, selfish,clingy and dependent and makes a fuss every time his 5 yr old daughter has to stay with them (she is from his previous relationship which ended a year prior to his current relationship)
his girlfriend is not particularly attractive, doesnt treat him well and they have little in common.
My colleague and i hit it off immediately and the chemistry was electric,however after 6 months waiting for him to make a move (i dropped so many hints) he is still with her.
i have pulled right back and no longer allow him to try and charm me (he would gaze into my eyes, make any excuse to talk to me for 2 hours on end and still watches me all the time)
i am a few years older than him but very attractive and independent. we share the same interests and sense of humour.
i have realised that i have too much self respect to "wait around" any longer and have been getting on with my life. i have good friends and a very active life and am happy being single but i could not help falling in love with him.
i have to see him every day at work and am managing to be strong and feel very positive but i just dont understand what he has been playing at.
Can any of you males out there explain to me why he wont make a move when he is clearly so attracted to me on a physical, intellectual and emotional level?.
He is not engaged to this girl.
i would welcome any comments
Thank you
turquoise
He sounds like a player and a loser. The fact that he is "with" someone like that, is a good sign that he needs clingy and desperate girls.
Take it from me, someone who just got out of a situation with a man who had a girlfriend, who he didn't even live with (he lived with me). If he lives with her, forget it.
Your Kitty Forum
My Website
My Website
Why wont he make a move ?
Turquoise, Would it be rude of me to ask... how you know so much about the way his girlfriend behaves... if he hasnt told you?
[FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][/FONT]
Why wont he make a move ?
Hi, I haven't read the whole thread, but i'm a big believer that people only say what they want people to know, or what they think people want to hear!!! Get over him, he was never yours and more than likely never will be and as you've said it's his loss :-6
I am nobody..nobody is perfect...therefore I must be Perfect!
Why wont he make a move ?
weeder;511669 wrote: Turquoise, Would it be rude of me to ask... how you know so much about the way his girlfriend behaves... if he hasnt told you?
Hello Weeder,
"Loser"'s girlfriend (who i will refer to as "N") works 15 miles west of our office and her working hours are fixed 9-5.
Loser and N live 25 miles west of our office and both use public transport.
i first met N when she turned up at our office unexpectedly at 6pm one evening demanding to know where Loser was. He was taken aback to see her and she demanded they leave immediately. (Our office is open until 10pm)
He asked why she had come and she said she did not want to go home by herself.(Loser generally leaves work about 6pm) He had work to finish but relented and they left together.
And so the pattern began.Rather than meet him at home or in town she would take the bus across the city in rush hour traffic, phone him to say she was at the bus stop outside our office and they would then travel the 15 miles back across town and then a further 10 in the same direction back home.
As he sits at the desk next to mine i could not help but overhear the many phone conversations he would have with her patiently explaining why he could not leave work until a certain time (and these reasons would always be genuinely work-related)Then she would phone at 2 or 3pm and demand that he go and take her home as she wasnt feeling well.
He has his 5yr old daughter to stay every second weekend and N would do her best to sabotage this arrangement as i would first hear him on the phone trying to reason with her, then he would phone his ex-girlfriend and ask if it was possible to rearrange the childcare plans as N wasnt feeling well or N needed him to help redecorate her dads living-room or something equally as trivial.
His ex turned up at the office one day and gave him a piece of her mind saying their daughter was not to be treated like some parcel they could pass around as it suited and that she (his ex) had a life to organise too.
i hope this answers your question !
Hello Weeder,
"Loser"'s girlfriend (who i will refer to as "N") works 15 miles west of our office and her working hours are fixed 9-5.
Loser and N live 25 miles west of our office and both use public transport.
i first met N when she turned up at our office unexpectedly at 6pm one evening demanding to know where Loser was. He was taken aback to see her and she demanded they leave immediately. (Our office is open until 10pm)
He asked why she had come and she said she did not want to go home by herself.(Loser generally leaves work about 6pm) He had work to finish but relented and they left together.
And so the pattern began.Rather than meet him at home or in town she would take the bus across the city in rush hour traffic, phone him to say she was at the bus stop outside our office and they would then travel the 15 miles back across town and then a further 10 in the same direction back home.
As he sits at the desk next to mine i could not help but overhear the many phone conversations he would have with her patiently explaining why he could not leave work until a certain time (and these reasons would always be genuinely work-related)Then she would phone at 2 or 3pm and demand that he go and take her home as she wasnt feeling well.
He has his 5yr old daughter to stay every second weekend and N would do her best to sabotage this arrangement as i would first hear him on the phone trying to reason with her, then he would phone his ex-girlfriend and ask if it was possible to rearrange the childcare plans as N wasnt feeling well or N needed him to help redecorate her dads living-room or something equally as trivial.
His ex turned up at the office one day and gave him a piece of her mind saying their daughter was not to be treated like some parcel they could pass around as it suited and that she (his ex) had a life to organise too.
i hope this answers your question !
Why wont he make a move ?
Ive got it. Thank You Turquoise. I know your going to think Im difficult. But sometimes there are reasons that have made a person behave a certain way.
We just never really know..... Good Luck to you
We just never really know..... Good Luck to you
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