--- THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS - Internet Style ---

Secret_Santa_2006 · Post by **Secret_Santa_2006** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:32 am

-- THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS - Internet Style --

............

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,

There were hacker's a surfing. Geeks? Yeah, you bet.

The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,

While visions of Java danced in their dreams.

My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,

We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,

I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.

To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,

Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,

Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!

More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,

Then Nick glanced toward my screen,

my Mac called them by name;

"Now Compaq! Now Acer!", my speaker did reel;

"On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal!

"Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!

Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!"

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM,

Then into my room rose a full hologram!

He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,

Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).

He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.

Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!

His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!

This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,

Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,

And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.

He defragged my hard drive, and added a SIM,

Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!

He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!

He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,

Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!

My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,

As he added the latest version of Netscape.

The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,

St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.

Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,

Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!

He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,

Back into the net with barely a blink.

But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,

"Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:40 am

Ah how wonderful, I never knew you were such a poet Santa!

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:52 am

that was nice.

Secret_Santa_2006 · Post by **Secret_Santa_2006** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:54 am

chrisb84uk;489916 wrote: Ah how wonderful, I never knew you were such a poet Santa!

Ho Ho Ho young Chris and thankyou Tater Tazz :wah:

.....

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:55 am

Awwwwww santa :-4

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:56 am

You know Santa it's a shame you don't make an appearance more often because I think we could become good friends.

Secret_Santa_2006 · Post by **Secret_Santa_2006** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:10 am

I would love to be your friend young Chris!

I'm afraid I have been very busy wrapping presents and keeping those naughty elfs and that even naughtier Rudolph in order! ho ho ho :wah:

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:16 am

Hehehe Rudolph misbehaving is he, what a naughty reindeer, I wonder whether he is just getting his own back after all those other reindeer used to call him names! :p

And thanks for being my friend, I'm sure we will have a great time!

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:16 am

That was cute Santa, thank you!

chocoholic · Post by **chocoholic** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:27 am

Hi Santa,

Here's a different version for you!

Have a Microsoft Christmas by Chet Raymo

'Twas the night before Christmas,

and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,,

except father's mouse.,

The computer was humming,,

the icons were hopping,,

As father did last-minute,

Internet shopping.,

The stockings were hung,

next the modem with care,

In the hope that Santa ,

would bring new software.

The children were nestled

all snug in their beds,

With visions of computer games

filling their heads.

Dark Forces for Billy,

Doom II is for Dan,

Carmen Sandiego

for Pamela Ann.

The letters to Santa

had been sent out by mom,

To santa@toyshop.northpole.com -

Which now had been re-routed

to Washington State

Where Santa's workshop

had been moved by Bill Gates.

All the elves and the reindeer

had had to skedaddle

To flashy new quarters

in suburban Seattle.

After living a life

that was simple and spare,

Santa now finds that

he's a new billionaire,

With a shiny red Porsche

in place of his sleigh,

And a house on Lake Washington

just down the way

From where Bill has his mansion,

and the old fellow preens

In black Gucci boots

and red Calvin Klein jeans.

The elves have stock options

and desks with a view,

Where they write computer code

for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers

or little toy drums

Will be under the tree,

only compact disk roms

With the Microsoft label.

So spin up your drive,

From now on Christmas runs

only on Win95.

More rapid than eagles

the competitors came,

And Bill whistled, and shouted,

and called them by name.

"Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS!

now, INTUIT! too,

Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE!

you're all of you through,

It's Microsoft's SANTA

that the kids can't resist,

It's the ultimate software

with a traditional twist -

Recommended by no less

than the jolly old elf,

And on the package,

a picture of Santa himself.

Get 'em young, keep 'em long,

is Microsoft's theme,

And a merger with Santa

is a marketer's dream.

To the top of the NASDAQ!

To the top of the Dow!

Now dash away! dash away!

dash away - wow!"

And mum in her 'kerchief

and me in my cap,

Had just settled down

for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn

there arose such a clatter,

The whir and the hum

of our satellite platter,

As it turned toward that new

Christmas star in the sky,

The SANTALITE owned

by the Microsoft guy.

As I sprang from my bed

and was turning around,

My computer turned on

with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen

was a smiling Bill Gates

Next to jolly old Santa,

two arm-in-arm mates.

And I heard them exclaim

in voices so bright,

HAVE A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS,

and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.