My beautiful Ben

beautifulben'smum · Post by **beautifulben'smum** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:18 am

Hello everybody. I am very new to this but am constantly searching the internet for ways of coping with my family's situation. My 15yr old son, Ben, was diagnosed with a brain stem tumour on 23rd November 2005. Two days later we were told he had less than a 10% chance of survival. Now, a year on ( a very long year) he has only a few months left. He has gone from a typical teenager, always out with his mates, constantly playing football and thinking about girls to someone who staggers around the house, barely able to walk, see or talk. I know he will soon be needing hospice care and watching my amazing son disintergate before my eyes - well the pain is incredible. I don't know how I carry on but I have to, for him and for my 6yr old, Ashley. My family are fantastic but none of them really know what I'm going through. I'm his mum! I should be able to protect him and keep him safe. This has got to be one of the cruellest ways for your child to die. I sometimes pray he could be knocked over by a bus, anything to stop him having to endure this gradual deterioration, this loss of all his abilities, whiilst his mind is fully aware what is going on. I feel so alone, I need to know that somebody out there knows how I am feeling.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:22 am

beautifulben'smum;470357 wrote: Hello everybody. I am very new to this but am constantly searching the internet for ways of coping with my family's situation. My 15yr old son, Ben, was diagnosed with a brain stem tumour on 23rd November 2005. Two days later we were told he had less than a 10% chance of survival. Now, a year on ( a very long year) he has only a few months left. He has gone from a typical teenager, always out with his mates, constantly playing football and thinking about girls to someone who staggers around the house, barely able to walk, see or talk. I know he will soon be needing hospice care and watching my amazing son disintergate before my eyes - well the pain is incredible. I don't know how I carry on but I have to, for him and for my 6yr old, Ashley. My family are fantastic but none of them really know what I'm going through. I'm his mum! I should be able to protect him and keep him safe. This has got to be one of the cruellest ways for your child to die. I sometimes pray he could be knocked over by a bus, anything to stop him having to endure this gradual deterioration, this loss of all his abilities, whiilst his mind is fully aware what is going on. I feel so alone, I need to know that somebody out there knows how I am feeling.
:-6

Hi stick around i have no doubt you will find plenty of support here - welcome. :-6

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:31 am

I am so sorry to hear this. my heart goes out to you and your son. :-4

gupster

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:39 am

Welcome to the garden :-6

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:47 am

no parent should have to see their children die it goes against the natural order of things i'm sure any one on f g is here for you to talk to if you need to welcome to the garden :-4

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 2:46 pm

Welcome to the garden - hugs you tight

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 2:58 pm

Welcome to FG, and we are here for you my dear.

booradley · Post by **booradley** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 3:59 pm

so very sorry for what you and your beautiful son are going through; life is very cruel at times. Lean on your friends and family, so he can lean on you:yh_flower

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:54 am

I am so sorry that your family is suffering in this way. Cancer is the cruelest of diseases.

Do you have a childrens hospice near you? I know that they offer fantastic help and are not just a place to go to to die, they are a place for the whole family to be healed and helped.

I don't know how you feel but I have worked within the funeral industry for a number of years so I have had a lot of contact with the bereaved, I know that you are not at that point but in a way you are - the wonderful son you had has already gone to a degree and the pain you are feeling now is like a bereavement.

If you want to pm me please do so at any time even if you just want to let off steam. You will feel like you don't want to burden people sometimes but there will always be someone here who will listen.

Elvira · Post by **Elvira** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:19 am

My heart is with you, as are my tears.....

Can I suggest that you get in contact with Cruise? They are trained in bereavement counselling, and whilst you are not bereaved in the traditional sense of the word you are grieving for the loss of your son's vitality and health.

They may be able to advise you on some coping mechanisms for now and certainly in the future....

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

beautifulben'smum · Post by **beautifulben'smum** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:56 am

I have just logged on and am overwhelmed by all the replies. Thank you so much everybody for your kind words. It is great to know I have another outlet here on FG. I am crying but they are happy tears, knowing that people care. Thank you again. x