can't sleep...

[beautiful_soul]

As some of you may know from my other thread, i broke up with my partner around about 9months ago and then she went with someone else straight away..

then i recently saw her again at a birthday party and she told me she had a present to give me, and it was a musical box with a song i use to sing to her.

And I tried to take it as a friend thing but ever since that night, even when i dont think of her before i go to sleep, i havent been able to sleep, and when i do fall asleep probably like 5-6am in the morning, i get nightmares of her dumping me in any possible situation....its been happening for 2 weeks already, im awfully tired but still cant sleep. I dont know why my mind is doing that but i have already avoided all her calls and messages, sigh, but that hasnt helped me with sleeping. Any suggestions or advice? jus want to at least sleep 5-6 hrs everynight :-3

[Patsy Warnick]

Soul,

As far as sleeping - remember how difficult the relationship was/stressful/unpredictable attitude I know it's tough. - or maybe knowing you can imagine her in your dreams will make you sleep - perhaps picturing her is still comforting.??

You must know she is hanging on to you just in case this new relationship won't work - she is hanging on to you knowing she can still work you - knowing breaking up with you was her idea not yours. Hanging on is usually - sex was good and a one night stand is still possible - and if that's the case and it seems to be, since she's buying you gifts now - sex is not as good with this new guy..

Sweet dreams

Patsy

[24Hours]

Hi there .. this might sounds somewhat extreme, but consider taking over the counter sleep aid pills to help you sleep at night, and, believe it or not, start dating.

Good luck.

[RedGlitter]

Some things just have to be weathered and this is one of those things.

You might try long hot baths, crawling in bed with a good book of something that really interests you, writing out your feelings for your eyes only, before bed. Don't read what you wrote, save it for a later date, the important thing is to get out the feelings you have, the ones you really can't share with people. If you do try sleep aids, you might consider trying the herb "valerian." It is popular because it relaxes a person but you don't have the hangover in the morning that you sometimes do with regular sleeping pills.



And put that music box out of your sight! You don't need it to haunt you.

:)

[Patsy Warnick]

Scrat

I was trying to ignore that "partner" term.

I also agree the gift (music box) should be given back.

I understand this is a difficult relationship to get over - Get control - stop being the other person's puppet - your being played. move on - date

Red suggested writing your thought - journal to refer to later, that's helpful.

Good luck

Patsy

[daBunnyWendy7]

RedGlitter;459599 wrote: Some things just have to be weathered and this is one of those things.

You might try long hot baths, crawling in bed with a good book of something that really interests you, writing out your feelings for your eyes only, before bed. Don't read what you wrote, save it for a later date, the important thing is to get out the feelings you have, the ones you really can't share with people. If you do try sleep aids, you might consider trying the herb "valerian." It is popular because it relaxes a person but you don't have the hangover in the morning that you sometimes do with regular sleeping pills.



And put that music box out of your sight! You don't need it to haunt you.

:)


I agree wholeheartedly w red.I must add I haven't tried OTcounter sleepaids but...HOT baths work well.

I was a volunteer counsellor for 8 yrs dealing w lots of different issues though the primary focus was baby through adolescence behavior and development and ascoc. problems. reading your feeling days later can be helpful.anytime you need to talk drop a line.somebody'll probably be up.lots of good souls here.

[Nomad]

[quote=RedGlitter;459599]Some things just have to be weathered and this is one of those things.

You might try long hot baths, crawling in bed with a good book of something that really interests you, writing out your feelings for your eyes only, before bed. Don't read what you wrote, save it for a later date, the important thing is to get out the feelings you have, the ones you really can't share with people. If you do try sleep aids, you might consider trying the herb "valerian." It is popular because it relaxes a person but you don't have the hangover in the morning that you sometimes do with regular sleeping pills.



And put that music box out of your sight! You don't need it to haunt you.





Righto

[beautiful_soul]

oh yeah, partner? haha, never even realised, its is girlfriend.

hm Scrat, i know shes taking control, so thats why i have stoppped picking up her calls, avoided seeing her and i dont think about her as often but i dont know why these stupid dreams keeps on getting in the way of my sleep..rgh, but i wont give that music box back to her and tell her off, because in my head, she hasnt done anything wrong, she does have the right to choose whatever she thinks is right for her, as long as she is happy then thats fine. I dont think that there is a right or wrong in a relationship, but yeh, just waiting to forget...need to forget and sleeepp,

and thankyou for everyone's advice, i will try the advice and hopefully i can get rid of my panda eyes

patsy - i'll be sure to fill in the date!

[jana fraser]

I had trouble sleeping months ago, went nights sleeping only a couple of hours a nihgt and was dog tired. I was going through a stressful time too and my mind was too 'full' of things to sleep. Someone gave me some advice that helped. I do the long bath and herbal tea thing every night but something else too. I used to go for a long walk at night, thinking that would tire me out. For whatever reason, I read that you should walk in the MORNING......in the long run, this will help you sleep better at night and you know it works. Try it

As for your ex, she does still care for you hence her gift of the music box and feeling the need to contact you. I sure hope it is because she genuinely cares for you and is not keeping her options open if it doesn't work out with this other fellow. At any rate, I hope you find some peace..in the daytime AND the night time.

[beautiful_soul]

thanks Jana, i will try out the morning walks, as for the herbal teas, which type of herbal do you use?

she probably does still care for me but only as a friend, and she probably feels guilt, which i tell her that there is no need to feel that, but yeh, i am just gonna stop thinking about that and focus on sleeping..haha, i sound like a pig now.