And Now, a look at the Headlines...

[Marie5656]

Actual Newspaper Headlines



Grandmother of eight makes hole in one



Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing



Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers



House passes gas tax onto senate



Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan



Two convicts evade noose, jury hung



William Kelly was fed secretary



Milk drinkers are turning to powder



Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted



Quarter of a million Chinese live on water



Farmer bill dies in house



Iraqi head seeks arms



Some become unintentionally suggestive:

* Queen Mary having bottom scraped



Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?



Prostitutes appeal to Pope



Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over



NJ judge to rule on nude beach



Child's stool great for use in garden



Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors



Soviet virgin lands short of goal again



Organ festival ends in smashing climax



Grammar often botches other headlines:



Eye drops off shelf



Squad helps dog bite victim



Dealers will hear car talk at noon



Enraged cow injures farmer with ax



Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests



Miners refuse to work after death



Two Soviet ships collide - one dies



Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout

counter



Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:



Never withhold herpes from loved one



Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy



Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984



Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better



Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious:



If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while



War dims hope for peace



Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency



Cold wave linked to temperatures



Child's death ruins couple's holiday



Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years



Man is fatally slain



Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say



Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

[Grumpaz]

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax



Could this have anything to do with mad Cow Disease??? :wah: