depresion it wont get me again

[Carl44]

sorry guys another jimbo ramble



i know i'll never meet any of you and in a way that makes it easier for what i'm going to say for i dont have to worry about any one telling my family or friends

many years ago my daughter died because of a hospital blunder , i got very depreesed then to cut a long story short i bought up my other daughter till she was 5 , the mother took her to the usa i did'nt see her again for ten years no letters no nothing zilch , during this time my younger brother died in a house fire my mom died both my grandparents, my cousin sam who was also my soul mate was murdered then this year my uncle fred died he was like a father to me and i miss him dreadfully , my partner (sue yep cher your right ) has had 4 seriouse ops and is in constant pain any one who has had to give up work and nurse some one who is very ill will know where i'm coming from . thats pretty bad things cant keep going wrong right ?wrong after ten years of missing out on all of my daughters young life i get back in touch only to find out that at 15 years of age my little baby has been raped and left for dead by some a hole ' she has treid to end her life twice been in a mental hospital she harms herself and has been into every kind of drug abuse there is , when i first found out i'll be honest i cried none stop for a week but then through gritted teeth i fought back not for me you understand but for my partner my little girl my family and any one else , who has come to reley on old jimbo

i find bad thoughts are like weeds in a perfect lawn if you dont snuff them out the lawn like your life will soon be over run and ruined

so when things are bad and sad i laugh and i make sure every one else laughs, depresion has no easy victems on my watch

like today my cousin mark sams (my muredred cousins brother ) rang me his dad had just died this summer (my uncle fred) i can tell by his voice he is down he has no one else its up to jimbo we plan to go for lunch at a harvester ,mark picks me up one look at his face i know its bad so i ring sue she be there in 15 mins ,mark and i sit at our table he looks exactly like john candy (uncle buck ) he wieghs about 25 stone 350 pounds and in no time at all he is crying tears rolling down his big face , right on cue sue comes in

my plan springs into action in a packed resturant i pull out a homer simpson maskand put it on , mark stops crying and his face turns purple with laughter , sue just looks at me and half raises an eyebrow the other customers are roaring with laughter , job done , mark cheered up for the day , sue cheered up by mark being cheered up , customers have an amusing tale to tell there friends , there freinds cheered up

mind you one crabby crab cakes customer did say do you always have to act like an idiot ?

i just said what makes you think this an act and then even she had to smile :wah: :wah:

[Carl44]

thanks pinky i do try my hardest its not easy i can tell you, but the alternative is too horrible to even think about , people depend on me and i have to grit my teeth and get on with things , my poor partner is so fed up with my constant joking but even she would prefer me like this than to seek help from mr jack daniels



sorry about my last thread i forgot to use the spell checker

[YZGI]

jimbo if nothing else you sure made me say a little thank you prayer for the life that I have at this time.

[Raven]

You're right Jimbo, the alternative is too horrible to contemplate. These people need you. And being loved and needed is the greatest gift we get.

[cherandbuster]

Raven wrote: These people need you. And being loved and needed is the greatest gift we get.


Raven :-6

That's lovely.

Jimbo

I'm one of your biggest fans :guitarist

[Bez]

Jimbo...you're a star.....the world needs more JIMBOS......:-4

[Raven]

I'll second that!

[cherandbuster]

Bez wrote: Jimbo...you're a star.....the world needs more JIMBOS......:-4


Ain't that the truth! :guitarist

[zinkyusa]

big hug man!!:yh_hugs

it gets better then it gets worse then it gets better then it.........:wah:

[weeder]

Jimbo... You have been making me laugh for days and days. Not at your misfortune or heartaches. ( Please dont think that) You just have such heart.

Please hang on. I know so well that life seems to just be one heartache after the other. Ive thought of the alternative.... quite a few times the past few months, actually. But it is people like you that make me want to get up everyday. That story about going swimming was hilarious and heart ripping at the same time. The mask story you just told was wonderful. You have inspired me to overcome my own heart aches and hardships. Also, I think I love you. Weeder:-4

[Carl44]

thanks guys youy support means a lot to me

many years ago when my daughter was taken away i was sitting in a bank

:-1

with my head in my hands i was in total misery , my little girl was my whole life she was gone ,my evil ex told me in not so many words i'd never see her again, the night before i was so desperate i'd climbed a tree at my dads farm put a rope round my neck and was edging my way off of the branch i was in so much pain i just wanted the pain to end , at that moment my dad drove into the farm , i climbed down ,as i sat in the bank a voice said whatever your problems are son you can get up walk out of here and if you can put up a fight you can start again i only wish i could

i looked up there was a small guy in a wheel chair he had no legs his head seemed to be stuck to his chest his arm seemed to come straight out of his rib cage , he had just two fingers to control his electric wheelchair

i've never felt such shame ever . for if this man was able to fight back at fates great injustices , why was i such a coward

i took a great lesson on board that day and whenever things get really tough and i know i will have some terrible times ahead of me with my poor ill partner and my poor daughter who must be suffering horribly

i just think of that brave guy and i think if he can do it we all can do it



98.4 % of us will die at some time in our lives dont go without a fight :wah:

[minks]

Aw Jimbo you knew then that if you died, you would have let so many people down, like you said there are many who rely upon you.

Brilliant story and what spirit you have.

I think somewhere someone's siggy states, "what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger" You are living (thank goodness) proof of this.

Jimbo, you keep on coming into FG and sharing and you can be guaranteed you can count on us to lift your spirits in whatever way any of us are able.

If life gives you lemons make lemonade and drink it with friends.

You are most inspiring.

[Babies_Mama00]

Jimbo, your daughter is definately lucky, as is every single person whos life you touch in some way or another. I honestly wish that my father would put up some sort of a fight for me. He just like to fight with me hehe. Hes got an issue with anything I do or anyone I talk to. He found out I had tried smoking marijuana and lost it on me. Im sure you were not happy to find out about the things that your daughter was doing but I am also sure that it hurt you rather than angerd you. I truely wish that my father cared about me like you care about your daughter. And I truely hope that my boyfriend cares about our child the way you care for yours. You are definately an amazing man!!

[Carl44]

thanks babies-mamo



at the end of the day we can only do what we believe is right i want to be my little girls best friend if she does wrong i want to be there to try and change her point of view i cant do that if i'm always screaming at her and she thinks of me as the enemy can i ?

as for your father believe me when i say your lack of relationship is his loss not yours, my father used to kick me unconsouse nearly every week my siblelings and i used to be in fear of him all the time i lost count of the times that i used to get a beating sticking up for my sisters brothers and my mother, he used to wait for me to get home from school beat me to the ground and scream at me how ugly i was and how useless i was , he used to make me stand on a box on one leg and stick my tongue out of the side of my mouth like i was retarded if i stopped he used to beat me with a big stick honest , but i dont hate him or even dislike him he means nothing to me he used to beat up a little kid i pity him for none of us speak to him now and he is the one that lost out not i , i have been stoned twice in my life both times i was with some bad ass biker mates and we met up with some hell's angels i dont know if you have them in your country but they are heavy heavy guys, every one was covered in ta too's and i did not want too look like a wuss , all it did was make me very hungry i really dont see the big thing about it ha ha:wah:

i've had my battles with the demons of drink same as many people but i won them all if you love your family enough to fight i really believe there are not many battles you will lose

if any one can take any thing from my insane rambelings just take this one thing HOPE . for i know that when i smash my thumb with a hammer (it happens all too often in my line of work) the fact that some other poor fella has trod on a land mine and has lost both his legs though i'm very sorry for him it dont stop my thumb from hurting like hell

my point is like this if i'm very ill with a very bad flu and i know my sister for example had the flu last week and she was very very poorly but after staying in bed for a week she slowly got better that gives me hope she was ill she got better, i am ill she got better so will i

its not look at my sorry ass life i've had it worse than you cheer up its guys

i got better give it time, fight for it you will get better too thats my message :-6



this is not my pc and i dont have a spell checker on it so sorry for the spelling mistakes

guys i know what i'm trying too say but i dont know how to say it maybe casey , or cher or pinky or any one elses posts i marvel at can read through it and put it in a language every one will understand

thanks for reading jimbo the voice of insanity in a sane world

[cherandbuster]

Jimbo

I think you expressed yourself perfectly. You need no help from anyone.

Oh, and by the way, you are my newest Forum Garden crush :-4

and I love SuzyB too :-6

[Carl44]

thanks but i always thought garden crush was a sort of fruit drink :wah:



guys i have a few questions first how do you get photo's on the post



second when someone ask to be your friend its great but what does that mean (its nothing to do with car keys and ash trays is it ):driving:



this forum is great i really feel like i know people its a first for me but i'm enjoying it

[YZGI]

Okay this is'nt a joke. I can't find my paper clip thingy.

[Bryn Mawr]

YZGI wrote: Okay this is'nt a joke. I can't find my paper clip thingy.


Do you have the toolbars at the top of the edit screen?

It's about half way across the top toolbar - three icons to the right of the font and point size.

[YZGI]

Okay at the risk of looking stupid here. I have a tool bar below with smiley faces thumbs up-down etc. But I have no tool bars above

[Bryn Mawr]

YZGI wrote: Okay at the risk of looking stupid here. I have a tool bar below with smiley faces thumbs up-down etc. But I have no tool bars above


Go to the home page, on the left hand side is the control panel, select edit options

Down at the bottom you can select your editor interface, select full wysiwyg, save changes and come back to the thread.

When you click quote or reply you should have, under the title bar in the top of the message area, two toolbars.

If you don't, what browser are you using?

[YZGI]

Well thank you Bryn, very much appreciated. This opens up a whole new world. Look out for the YZGI he has new toys to play with.:guitarist

[Bryn Mawr]

YZGI wrote: Well thank you Bryn, very much appreciated. This opens up a whole new world. Look out for the YZGI he has new toys to play with.:guitarist


You're welcome - glad to be of assistance.

[minks]

Babies_Mama00 wrote: Jimbo, your daughter is definately lucky, as is every single person whos life you touch in some way or another. I honestly wish that my father would put up some sort of a fight for me. He just like to fight with me hehe. Hes got an issue with anything I do or anyone I talk to. He found out I had tried smoking marijuana and lost it on me. Im sure you were not happy to find out about the things that your daughter was doing but I am also sure that it hurt you rather than angerd you. I truely wish that my father cared about me like you care about your daughter. And I truely hope that my boyfriend cares about our child the way you care for yours. You are definately an amazing man!!


Least your mama loves you more than life.

[Babies_Mama00]

minks wrote: Least your mama loves you more than life.


That I know is the truth. Shes been amazing. She loves everyone that I love and she will always be my #1.....even before the boyfriend.....altho her grandbaby may be a bit of competition hehehehe. I am certain she will love her grandchild just as much as she loves me and she will be a huge part of his life. I cant wait!!

[Babies_Mama00]

jimbo wrote: thanks babies-mamo



at the end of the day we can only do what we believe is right i want to be my little girls best friend if she does wrong i want to be there to try and change her point of view i cant do that if i'm always screaming at her and she thinks of me as the enemy can i ?

as for your father believe me when i say your lack of relationship is his loss not yours, my father used to kick me unconsouse nearly every week my siblelings and i used to be in fear of him all the time i lost count of the times that i used to get a beating sticking up for my sisters brothers and my mother, he used to wait for me to get home from school beat me to the ground and scream at me how ugly i was and how useless i was , he used to make me stand on a box on one leg and stick my tongue out of the side of my mouth like i was retarded if i stopped he used to beat me with a big stick honest , but i dont hate him or even dislike him he means nothing to me he used to beat up a little kid i pity him for none of us speak to him now and he is the one that lost out not i , i have been stoned twice in my life both times i was with some bad ass biker mates and we met up with some hell's angels i dont know if you have them in your country but they are heavy heavy guys, every one was covered in ta too's and i did not want too look like a wuss , all it did was make me very hungry i really dont see the big thing about it ha ha:wah:

i've had my battles with the demons of drink same as many people but i won them all if you love your family enough to fight i really believe there are not many battles you will lose

if any one can take any thing from my insane rambelings just take this one thing HOPE . for i know that when i smash my thumb with a hammer (it happens all too often in my line of work) the fact that some other poor fella has trod on a land mine and has lost both his legs though i'm very sorry for him it dont stop my thumb from hurting like hell

my point is like this if i'm very ill with a very bad flu and i know my sister for example had the flu last week and she was very very poorly but after staying in bed for a week she slowly got better that gives me hope she was ill she got better, i am ill she got better so will i

its not look at my sorry ass life i've had it worse than you cheer up its guys

i got better give it time, fight for it you will get better too thats my message :-6



this is not my pc and i dont have a spell checker on it so sorry for the spelling mistakes

guys i know what i'm trying too say but i dont know how to say it maybe casey , or cher or pinky or any one elses posts i marvel at can read through it and put it in a language every one will understand

thanks for reading jimbo the voice of insanity in a sane world


I agree with you. I am certain my father and I would have had a much better relationship if he would have just not gotten so angry with me at EVERYTHING I ever did. Dont get me wrong he is not an evil grump or anything, but he just never took the time to relise that I was a teenager and that I was going to try stupid things in life. I meen he did so whats the problem? I just hope that he is a better grandfather than he was father. I guess all I can do is keep my fingers crossed.

[Raven]

Dont worry hunny bunny. It WILL be alright. I promise.

[cherandbuster]

Raven wrote: Dont worry hunny bunny. It WILL be alright. I promise.


Oh that's nice, Raven

Erin, I'm so glad you have such a close relationship with your mom. I did too. It's a beautiful thing. And your child will benefit so much from it :-6

[Babies_Mama00]

cherandbuster wrote: Oh that's nice, Raven

Erin, I'm so glad you have such a close relationship with your mom. I did too. It's a beautiful thing. And your child will benefit so much from it :-6


Man am I ever happy about it too.

When we went to my boyfriends aunts funeral and I saw her three children sitting there I couldnt help but start to cry. I thought about what I would do if I lost my mom like that I just couldnt imagine it. I know her and I have had our differences in the past and I honestly think that the only reason the two of us can not live together is because we are more friends than we are mother and daughter. I just cant imagine being without her and seeing those kids the other day just makes me want to get to know the three of them better and be more in their lives, I meen technically I am now a part of their family so why not.

[cherandbuster]

Babies_Mama00 wrote: Man am I ever happy about it too.

When we went to my boyfriends aunts funeral and I saw her three children sitting there I couldnt help but start to cry. I thought about what I would do if I lost my mom like that I just couldnt imagine it. I know her and I have had our differences in the past and I honestly think that the only reason the two of us can not live together is because we are more friends than we are mother and daughter. I just cant imagine being without her and seeing those kids the other day just makes me want to get to know the three of them better and be more in their lives, I meen technically I am now a part of their family so why not.


Oh I totally understand, Erin.

My mom passed almost three years ago; she had a fatal heart attack while driving. She pulled over to the side of the road, and it happened so quickly that her car engine was still running when they found her.

But I feel *so* lucky and blessed to have had such a special person in my life. I feel any goodness and kindness I have comes from my Mom. She truly lives on within me. :-4

[minks]

Oh Cher how truly painfully sad Huggs to you:-4

My mom is still alive and every day I feel blessed to have a wonderfu relationship with her.

My mom worried horribly when I took my trip to England, I am surprised she didn't call up Raven and ask for a daily report on my well being hehehehe I love my mom, and I love being a mom :-6

[cherandbuster]

minks wrote: Oh Cher how truly painfully sad Huggs to you:-4


Thanks my dear friend Minxsy

And a major :yh_hugs right back to you :-6

[minks]

cherandbuster wrote: Thanks my dear friend Minxsy

And a major :yh_hugs right back to you :-6


I can't imagine your loss Cher.

Hey Babies mama please empty your inbox

[Babies_Mama00]

Hehehe I think it cute, my boyfriend has a great relationship with his mother as well. She is alot like my mother....only a little more annoying heheheh but I love her to bits, she calls me everyday to check up on me and baby.

My boyfriend has an even better relationship with his grandmother. Sadly tho she has cancer, he is quite cute tho he thinks that she is going to live forever and any time anyone brings up her cancer he is the first to jump in and say "no Grama will live forever, she has to." Its almost like he will not accept anything different. I am the same with my mommy. She will live forever, she has to I wont know what to do without her.

Minks I did it hehe sorry.

[minks]

Babies_Mama00 wrote: Hehehe I think it cute, my boyfriend has a great relationship with his mother as well. She is alot like my mother....only a little more annoying heheheh but I love her to bits, she calls me everyday to check up on me and baby.

My boyfriend has an even better relationship with his grandmother. Sadly tho she has cancer, he is quite cute tho he thinks that she is going to live forever and any time anyone brings up her cancer he is the first to jump in and say "no Grama will live forever, she has to." Its almost like he will not accept anything different. I am the same with my mommy. She will live forever, she has to I wont know what to do without her.

Minks I did it hehe sorry.


Aww Jimbo we hijacked your thread so sorry...

BB'smom you will take all that you learned from your mom and apply it to your life and your baby's life and you will raise a fine child along with everything your BF can teach you and bb .

[Carl44]

it is so hard to take when you lose some one but if you can think back to a place and time where you shared laughter together , you will smile and laugh and part of that person lives on with you

so guys any one fancy starting a new thread on the subject ; like they may be gone but their laughter and joy still live on in me

if not if i can work out how to phrase it I'll start one for i have a few humorous memories of my brother that will bring a smile to your faces



babies mama take care i'm sure when you have your baby both dad and grandad will be over the moon :-6

[minks]

jimbo wrote: it is so hard to take when you lose some one but if you can think back to a place and time where you shared laughter together , you will smile and laugh and part of that person lives on with you

so guys any one fancy starting a new thread on the subject ; like they may be gone but their laughter and joy still live on in me

if not if i can work out how to phrase it I'll start one for i have a few humorous memories of my brother that will bring a smile to your faces



babies mama take care i'm sure when you have your baby both dad and grandad will be over the moon :-6


you bet Jimbo go on and start a new thread I love the idea

[Carl44]

ok but are you sure that people are not getting fed up with my wierd way of looking at things

[cherandbuster]

jimbo wrote: ok but are you sure that people are not getting fed up with my wierd way of looking at things


Oh I'm sure

We're loving every minute of our Jimbo

Truly :-6

[Babies_Mama00]

Everyone in this forum is amazing. You all have such beautiful ways of looking at life and I can not help but smile when I read what you all write. And yes Jimbo a thread like that would be awsome. I know Id have a few things to post.

[cherandbuster]

Babies_Mama00 wrote: Everyone in this forum is amazing. You all have such beautiful ways of looking at life and I can not help but smile when I read what you all write.


What a wonderful thing to say!

Thanks for posting your thoughts :-6

[OpenMind]

Babies_Mama00 wrote: That I know is the truth. Shes been amazing. She loves everyone that I love and she will always be my #1.....even before the boyfriend.....altho her grandbaby may be a bit of competition hehehehe. I am certain she will love her grandchild just as much as she loves me and she will be a huge part of his life. I cant wait!!


Babesmom. Sounds like you've got one hell of a great Mum. Your granddaughter is going to be lucky to have two wonderful women in her life. :-6

[minks]

jimbo wrote: ok but are you sure that people are not getting fed up with my wierd way of looking at things


Never, you just keep posting away, you inspire us Jimbo keep it up.