How can we get to know each other a little better

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:28 am

I have no intention of rehashing old arguements but i would like to maybe help them from going so haywire again in the future sooo,how can we get to know each other better .I know some people have threads dedicated to them so they can answer questions but i always think some may feel left out - then again are we really going to learn that much from a thread .Why do we still get things so wrong and why do we assume certain people hate them when we have no grounds at all and after the last couple of days i think we all maybe need to get to know each other a little better - any suggestions

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:31 am

Hey Pants

I admire your positive attempt to get things on the right track

You get an "A" for effort from me:-6

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:41 am

Hi Pants:

I think getting to know people online, just as in real life takes some time and effort. I mean, how do we get to know a person in RL? We spend time with them, talking, learning thier interests, listening to what they have to say.

When I first came here, I read over alot of posts, even if a thread was not of alot of interest to me personally. I was able to find out alot about the people here just by reading what they had to say on different topics. I found out what pushed thier buttons and what was OK and not OK to talk about?. I learned who I could joke around a bit with, and who may take a joke wrong.

For example, pants, I am getting to know you, and I do like what you have to say, but I still do not know if I fully know what your sense of humor is like..so I may respond differently to you than to , say, Nomad. Does that make sense to you?

Another point, I am a very gay-friendly, and gay tolerant person, but I know there are some here who are not. So, I know my limits and know what I can and cannot say around these people..and I will respect thier feelings, as I hope they will respect my own.

So, this is probably more information than you were asking for, so I am going to take my leave now.

:wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:52 am

Marie is right, take the time to know the person or persons. And don't feel bad if you don't hit it off we can't like everybody and we can't expect everybody to like us. If the dislike column is longer than the like column, then that person is someone you just let be.

I think it boils down to respect, if you like a person and you seem to hit it off you respect them and likely will befriend them.

If you find you dislike a person you can still respect them *insert golden rule here* or you can simply ignore them.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:54 am

Marie i dont want this thread to be just to be about my feelings, i hoped we would all be able to learn someting even if each individual person had a thread to themselves about themselves .What im trying to say is - somebody recently said we should have known when a joke is a joke and i though maybe there right maybe there not but how could we of got to know this person .Do we need to make more of an effort even if people dont get on

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:58 am

minks wrote: Marie is right, take the time to know the person or persons. And don't feel bad if you don't hit it off we can't like everybody and we can't expect everybody to like us. If the dislike column is longer than the like column, then that person is someone you just let be.

I think it boils down to respect, if you like a person and you seem to hit it off you respect them and likely will befriend them.

If you find you dislike a person you can still respect them *insert golden rule here* or you can simply ignore them.

Minks i think your missing my point - what im trying to say is whether we like a person or not do we still have a responsiblity to know what they like /dislike or intended meaning should we have all known that the recent "joke" was not a joke.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:01 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: Marie i dont want this thread to be just to be about my feelings, i hoped we would all be able to learn someting even if each individual person had a thread to themselves about themselves .What im trying to say is - somebody recently said we should have known when a joke is a joke and i though maybe there right maybe there not but how could we of got to know this person .Do we need to make more of an effort even if people dont get on

online does not offer us the luxury of "inflection" and unless someone posts "I am joking or a laughing face" we have no idea. I suppose the best way to find out... ask them, if you don't want to ask in public ask in a PM before taking it to heart. I think things can be read wrong far to easily on here and if we need it make clear none of us should be afraid to ask. Let's face it we all don't understand each other 100%. Good lord Spot is tops on my list and I am not afraid to PM him for clarification.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:02 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: Minks i think your missing my point - what im trying to say is whether we like a person or not do we still have a responsiblity to know what they like /dislike or intended meaning should we have all known that the recent "joke" was not a joke.

oops we posted at the same time, does my next post address things better

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:12 am

Pants, a good thread to start. I think sometimes people have a different sense of humor then others, and since we are multi-national, there are different meanings behind certain words. But I think if we read each other's posts and try to be understanding, and something isn't clear, then just ask it-either on the board or via PM-so there are no misunderstandings.

I do not think it is necessary to always post a

after every humorous line, to make sure everyone gets it. Not the way the smilies move around sometimes..............

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:12 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: Marie i dont want this thread to be just to be about my feelings, i hoped we would all be able to learn someting even if each individual person had a thread to themselves about themselves .What im trying to say is - somebody recently said we should have known when a joke is a joke and i though maybe there right maybe there not but how could we of got to know this person .Do we need to make more of an effort even if people dont get on

It's hard Pants. There are so many diverse people here that maybe wouldn't be drawn together outside of the 'cyber world'.

We definitely should try and make an effort to get on, and I guess that means more respect, tolerance, forgiveness and diplomacy than you would normally display.

One thing that DOES annoy me personally, is when people criticise the so called 'nice brigade'. It's all about balance.....everyone here adds value.

If the chemistry's not working with someone it probably pays to ignore them, or at least reply when things are less heated.

There are also folks here that lead lives / have history that some of us will never have experienced or are ever likely to.

There are also cultural differences, even between the Brits and the Americans...I've learned a lot in the 12 months I've been here about the similarities and the differences

Not sure if this is useful input...shout if you need something more specific.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:13 am

Bez :-6

I find your input most useful

And I wholeheartedly agree with your comments.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:22 am

cherandbuster wrote: Bez :-6

I find your input most useful

And I wholeheartedly agree with your comments.

Sorry it turned out to be a bit of a sermon....wasn't meant to be

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:25 am

Bez wrote: Sorry it turned out to be a bit of a sermon....wasn't meant to be

If all sermons were like that

I'd go to temple more often

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:30 am

Bez wrote: Sorry it turned out to be a bit of a sermon....wasn't meant to be

great and valid points my dear.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:55 am

We need more FG meetings! I feel I know the people at the London meeting waaay better than I really know anyone else online.

And I was never altogether sure how to take Spot before I met him, but now I know he's a TOTAL sweetheart!

to Spot!

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:09 pm

Pinky wrote: Hey Rapunzel! That last pic looks like I did this afternoon!:D

Me too in this weather! hee hee hee

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:13 pm

flopstock wrote: Here's a question to start us off here..

Do you shave and if so how much and how often?:D

Oh my god...if we must then.....

Legs weekly

Under arms when needed

Beard.....oops...haven't got one, but if I should suddenly develop one, I'll go to Clancy for advice

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:19 pm

OK, pants..now I get where you were coming from. As for humor, and what is taken as such, I am not sure if I can add anything different to what has been said. Different cultures, and even different individuals will take humor differently.

Should we censor what we say? No, I do not think so, unless we feel bound to type something that would be blantantly offensive to an individual or group.

I, personally, do not "get" alot of British humor. So I just let it go. As for a certain post, which some have hinted to here in this thread, we cannot just say something at random, which obviously can be taken in one particular ways, and then when folks respond appropriatly to what they think post said come back and say "ha ha, just kidding".

Oh, and one more thing..I shaved my underarms last night. So there is something new about me.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:21 pm

Ghads, shaving-every 2 days, I wear shorts all summer long! I want my tan to show!

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:33 pm

Hah! My daughter calls me cactus legs - even AFTER I've shaved them! So this week I decided to use hair-removing cream for nice smooth leggies!

Only prob was that I bought a cheapie version - twas VERY sticky and messy!

I not only creamed me - I creamed the towel, the bed, the bath . . . oops!

But at least I now have nice smooooooth leggies . . .

. . . and so do the towel, the bed, the bath . . . hehehe :wah:

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:38 pm

Marie5656 wrote:

I, personally, do not "get" alot of British humor. So I just let it go.

Oh No Marie....are you telling us that Woppy, Uncle Kram and Arnolds wit have gone totally down the pan....they'll be so disappointed...they put a lot of effort into keeping us gals amused

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:40 pm

Rapunzel wrote: Hah! My daughter calls me cactus legs - even AFTER I've shaved them! So this week I decided to use hair-removing cream for nice smooth leggies!

Only prob was that I bought a cheapie version - twas VERY sticky and messy!

I not only creamed me - I creamed the towel, the bed, the bath . . . oops!

But at least I now have nice smooooooth leggies . . .

. . . and so do the towel, the bed, the bath . . . hehehe :wah:

Have you tried waxing Rapunzel ?

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:53 pm

I dont shave unless I have to, which is like every few weeks I guess.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:04 pm

I shave everywhere more or less daily

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:24 pm

Clancy wrote: Good thread.

I can get along with most people, I think. I'm an avid fan, and resident of the UK. I've many favourite places and haunts here in Scotland, as well as England, but my favourite would be Torquay, I've been there loads of times.

I like London, Liverpool , Newcastle, And Birmingham people because of their craic, (banter) I have an Irish friend in here, who is also a musician, and a lady-friend from the US who is also a musician. I've had loads of fun with people from Yorkshire, (I had an aunt who lived in Scarborough, so I know it very well , as I do York (beautiful place) I like to mimic some of you, as you may have noticed, but with no intent of malice

Edinburgh during the festival , there is no where like it on earth, and my home city of Glasgow which I love.

It's shouldn't be a secret to anyone that my passion is music, nor that I've been a guitarist since Noah built the ark. My passion for music is seconded by my love for humour, it all it's shapes and guises.

The different people in Forum Garden is something I look forward to every day, If I'm not posting, I like to read all your posts, I'm a big admirer of people who have a better grasp of vocabulary than what I generally dish up. I 've learned better grammar, I've relished speaking to members from across the pond, especially the ones I can have fun with.

I have made loads of new friends, plus there isnt one lady in here who I wouldn't go out on a date with, because you ALL look gorgeous, and I feel like a kid in a candy store Some of the guys across the way, it took a bit longer to get to know, but I count them as buddies as I do the Brit pack guys from the UK.

I've had loads of fabulous links, pics, passed my way, I'd rather laugh than fight and argue, because the latter is too tiring, and time consuming, but if it presents itself, I won't shy away from it. Its a cultural thing that I when I have to speak to someone in harsh tones, they will know when they have been spoken to, but I walk the last mile to avoid doing it unless it needs doing immediately.

I try but not always successfully, to bring the newer members into the fold because a forum such as this with many strong peronalities can be daunting for the newer people to forum life, I try and avoid eclipsing someones story, gag, or yarn, I'd rather add to it then back off, and see if it starts a life of its own

There were some I had an instant rapport with, and there are some I'm still getting to know, and some I need to look for a way to build a bridge with instead of avoiding one another. I believe there are days when life dictates most peoples moods, and Forum Garden is no different. I admire admin past and present for their neutral stance with everyone, as well as their on-going developments to the forum as a whole,

I admire people who through personal problems remain upbeat, you are a credit to yourselves, I like getting PM's though I'm guilty of not amswering promptly, but I do get there eventually, Have I mentioned the women? .....well they're worth mentioning again because they allow me to flirt, and play with them daily, and rarely rebuke me, the support threads have been a lifesaver to many who need to talk to someone, and I'm never disappointed at the varying advise given, or the opneness and honesty in relating personal experiences to enable a questioner to look at all possibilities. I used to read everything posted , but now I pick and choose what and where now, and that's no reflection on the few topics I don't......theres much much more, so I'll come back to this because I feel it's worthwhile

Clancy my friend, :-6

That was such a lovely post.

Truly lovely.

And on behalf of the American women here, a heartfelt thank you for the wonderful compliments :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:38 pm

Cool idea Clancy a good start to some expanded profiles.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:39 pm

Aw! Hugs to all of you! :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:59 pm

Minks here, a regular piece of the FG Furnishings (the Canadiana style). I have been to England and was blessed with meeting a handful of other Fg'ers in person, this gave me a fabulous insight into their lives and am proud to call them all friends. There are still others on my "I wish to meet" list and perhaps some day I will.

I try to maintain my sense of humor, good judgement, fairness and respect here in FG. I do know I have not always been successful. I have learned a lot about others and even myself. Some times I have to quadruple read a post and weigh the pros and cons to the kind of reply I should make, if any at all.

I am a slap happy photo nut, I love to travel, and I am an avid cyclist, hiker and reader.

Every poster here brings a little special something to FG and if it weren't a good little something brought in, FG would not be the success it is.

Who's next....

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:20 pm

minks wrote: Minks here, a regular piece of the FG Furnishings (the Canadiana style). I have been to England and was blessed with meeting a handful of other Fg'ers in person, this gave me a fabulous insight into their lives and am proud to call them all friends. There are still others on my "I wish to meet" list and perhaps some day I will.

I try to maintain my sense of humor, good judgement, fairness and respect here in FG. I do know I have not always been successful. I have learned a lot about others and even myself. Some times I have to quadruple read a post and weigh the pros and cons to the kind of reply I should make, if any at all.

I am a slap happy photo nut, I love to travel, and I am an avid cyclist, hiker and reader.

Every poster here brings a little special something to FG and if it weren't a good little something brought in, FG would not be the success it is.

Who's next....

Well....once upon a time, I was wandering round Heathrow airport with some new friends, and i bumped into this Canadian lass wearing a pink cowboy hat....how cool was that, and it would never have happened if I hadn't wandered into the garden one July day in 2005.

So....

I'm a peacemaker

A homemaker

Adore my kids and grandchildren

Mentor

A 'soon to be ' pensioner

Avid gardener

Love history

Love nature and the great outdoors

Can be easily intimidated and am a bit gullible/naive

Love manufacturing

Positive thinker

Good organiser

shocking photographer

Slap dash cook

Chocolate and red wine lover

healthy and fit ( but my feet hate me and keep punishing me for wearing dodgy shoes as a teenager)

Compulsive cloths buyerUmmm ....best stop before you all fall asleep

NEXT...

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:21 pm

flopstock wrote: thank god i'm not alone!:D If I had said that first everyone would have just put it down to another floppy perversion.. but if betty does it too, it MUST be normal..:wah:

Hhmmm, so I'm seen as 'normal' Not sure I like being normal! :-3

The in-growing hairs are a bit of a bugger though! :wah:

theia · Post by **theia** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:30 pm

Betty Boop wrote: Hhmmm, so I'm seen as 'normal' Not sure I like being normal! :-3

I just wish you wouldn't do it when you're driving :-3

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:33 pm

ArnoldLayne wrote: Yep, I've seen her. Both feet on the dash board......

:yh_rotfl

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:35 pm

Pinky wrote: Chocolate and red wine lover? AND into history? No wonder I like you so much!

Feeling's mutual...cheers Pinky

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:51 pm

Betty Boop wrote: I shave everywhere more or less daily

Do you shave in Truro?

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:53 pm

Bez wrote: Have you tried waxing Rapunzel ?

Yes, but she wouldn't let me

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:54 pm

Uncle Kram wrote: Do you shave in Truro?

I shave just about anywhere Unc, gotta maintain the smoothness!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:56 pm

Uncle Kram wrote: Yes, but she wouldn't let me

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

I'd let you, but I'd have to do you after!! :sneaky: :wah: