Rules to help men understand women

[Marie5656]

Rules to help Men Understand Women





* Learn to work the toilet seat. If you've managed to lift it up, gravity is on your side when it comes to putting it back down.



* Sometimes, we are not thinking about having sex.



* "I ate it, didn't I?" is not considered praise.



* Your responsibility for raising children does NOT end at conception.



* Get rid of your comb-over. It's not different -- it's just as ridiculous as every other comb over. You're losing your hair -- face it.



* An order of takeout ribs and a Chris Farley movie is not everybody's idea of a good time.



* "Yeah yeah, you look fine" is not a compliment.



* Yes, I DO tell my best friend everything.



* You have enough ballcaps.



* You have too many t-shirts.



* You're too old to wear a goatee.



* Every actor we find attractive is not gay. You can stop using this one -- we've all heard it.



* A hug is not always a prelude to sex.



* When we ask "are you listening," we already know you're not.



* Your best friend is an idiot



* Nothing says "I love you" like offering to go to the grocery store.



* If you can rebuild the carburetor on a '66 Mustang, working the washing machine should be a snap.



* Yes and no are sometimes acceptable answers -- grunts and blank stares are not.



* A sore back that prevents you from doing household chores for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.



* Underwear is like a car. After five years, it needs to be replaced with a newer model.



* A romantic weekend getaway does not involve baiting a hook.



* Slapping us on the butt and saying "how bout getting me a cold one" is not foreplay.



* The missionary position is best left to missionaries.



* Rolling over and mumbling "I've got to get some sleep" does not produce an afterglow.



* If it was really good for me...you wouldn't have to ask.

[Sheryl]

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl



I would like to add.



I don't care, Whatever, anything, are not yet found at the grocery stores.

[Marie5656]

Sheryl wrote: :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl



I don't care, Whatever, anything, are not yet found at the grocery stores.


LOL. Your response reminds me of another joke I read. A woman was tired of her husband always responding that way when asked what he wanted for dinner. So she made up some dinners for the freezer. Labeled them : "I Don't care" Anything" "whatever" "something good" and "food". Then she could always take out exactly what her husband asked for.:wah:

[Sheryl]

I may just have to start doing that. :wah: I get so frustrated when I get one of those responses from my husband.