bad kitty....

[sunny104]

This is something that would happen to me, if I was a guy...:yh_rotfl

> Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how

legitimate

>

>my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On

one

>

>recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the

truth

>

>was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had

sustained a

>

>head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.

By

>

>then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on

the

>

>top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in

to my

>

>wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new

acquisition

>was no problem. Then one morning, I was taking my shower after

breakfast

>

>when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey!

The

>

>garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know

where the

>

>button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam.

>"Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it

starts

>going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then,

"C'mon, it'll only

> take you a second."

>

>

>So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent

>

>outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her

behavior

>

>as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my

head

>

>under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember

>

>performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my

>

>circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its

>

>gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the

fascinating

>

>dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been

poised

>

>around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And,

at

the

>

>precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I

>

>unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I

lost

>all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly

rising at a

>

>violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from

my

>

>masculine region.

>

>

>

>Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.

>Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know

this

>from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the

sink

and

>cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked

me

>out cold.

>When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there

are

>

>not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the

>

>kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there,

done-that"

>

>paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the

>

>paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their

work,

>

>all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter.... .and

not

>

>succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I

finally

>made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an

explanation

>out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too

painful

>to talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked,

"Cat got

your tongue?" If they only knew!

>Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

[Betty Boop]

:yh_rotfl Poor chap!

[OpenMind]

Don't s'pose your wife got any photos?