Why ?

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:48 am

I always treat people as I want to be treated......I'm not one for 'cussing' at people and treating them badly even the ones I don't like much, so why is it that every now and then I have the urge to really let go...swear, lash out, and generally be the person totally opposite to the person most people believe I am. Am I repressing too much or have I had just a bit too much Shiraz

?

I never actually do the above by the way, but the strain of NOT doing it is hard. Does anyone else feel lke this ?

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:57 am

Feel free to throw a tantrum Bezzy. Ill be your punching bag. Go.

jennyswan · Post by **jennyswan** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:58 am

Oh Yeah, it's kind of like the feeling of standing on the edge of a railway platform and thinking, 'I could jump'.

It's the rationalisation not to do is what means you a sane. :-6

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:05 am

You are a wise and gentle person Bez, and I think a lot of people here feel the way you do.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:15 am

After a while, you get to the point where enough is enough. Holding it in just makes you miserable. Letting it out may make you feel better, but probably does no good anyways.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:28 am

You're all right ..... :-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:43 am

SnoozeControl wrote: I don't think its healthy to hold anger in, and there are ways to express yourself that fall short of actually cussing someone out. I work with (and sit right next to) a guy that constantly whines, repeating himself over and over for hours on end. I finally had it, and got a little nasty with him by saying "gee, I heard you the first five times you said that, you're kind of wasting your time by repeating yourself at this point." I could've (and wanted to) tell him to shut the f&ck up, but I managed to get a laugh and he really did stop.

I wish you would talk to me like that. :-4

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:43 am

SnoozeControl wrote: I don't think its healthy to hold anger in, and there are ways to express yourself that fall short of actually cussing someone out. I work with (and sit right next to) a guy that constantly whines, repeating himself over and over for hours on end. I finally had it, and got a little nasty with him by saying "gee, I heard you the first five times you said that, you're kind of wasting your time by repeating yourself at this point." I could've (and wanted to) tell him to shut the f&ck up, but I managed to get a laugh and he really did stop.

My dilemas are 100% family...it's hard...they need my support.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:21 am

Shiraz ? Is that like Mad Dog 20/20 ? Ripple ?

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:52 am

JAB wrote: And how come you're not sharing your Shiraz with us?!

He He...there's none left...I'll nip out and get some more....won't be long..

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:54 am

Nomad wrote: Shiraz ? Is that like Mad Dog 20/20 ? Ripple ?

Not so fortifying but pretty good !

weber · Post by **weber** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 9:53 am

I jez think Bez

that we jez ain't perfect so we gotta blow off a little steam now and again. I don't think wez ever gonna be perfect either. If you know a man who is, let me know:p

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sun Apr 02, 2006 11:42 am

Bez wrote: I always treat people as I want to be treated......I'm not one for 'cussing' at people and treating them badly even the ones I don't like much, so why is it that every now and then I have the urge to really let go...swear, lash out, and generally be the person totally opposite to the person most people believe I am. Am I repressing too much or have I had just a bit too much Shiraz

?

I never actually do the above by the way, but the strain of NOT doing it is hard. Does anyone else feel lke this ?

Bez you are a lady full stop...........putting your point across and explaining to some body that you don't agree, or appreciate their actions does'nt always have to resort to cussing and name calling . I only imagine you acting with diplomacy and tact and you should always be respected for that . I think,when you resort to name calling your no better than the person your trying to reason with .....and if children came with a hand book we'd all be experts.

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 1:23 pm

Bez wrote: My dilemas are 100% family...it's hard...they need my support.

That's a tough one Bez, "family" is family, as the sayings goes: you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. From many posts in here, at one time or another, it seems that someone is having some sort of "family' delimas, myself included. I find it effective to "write" down what I need to say to family members, while I'm still calm & in self control. That way when discussing delimas with them, I can get all my point(s) across, before trying to spit out something during the heat of battle, that does't always come out right. Well, GOOD LUCK, & I'm betting that you will make things work out for all involved.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 1:49 pm

Bez - people who are always yelling and cussing and confrontational tend to get tuned out before too long. I've found that both in the family and in the work situation the few times I've actually lost it and changed into a total screaming fury have been really effective...:yh_bigsmi

cars · Post by **cars** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 1:58 pm

AussiePam wrote: Bez - people who are always yelling and cussing and confrontational tend to get tuned out before too long. I've found that both in the family and in the work situation the few times I've actually lost it and changed into a total screaming fury have been really effective...:yh_bigsmi

Well with family, you usually can't get fired, but with work it can be different, as the saying goes: The squeeky wheel gets the most grease!:)

(But then the saying also continues: If that wheel continues to squeek, then it gets replaced!):wah:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:24 pm

Bez.... I got angry Friday, after being provoked for weeks. I am a very unconfrontational person. It took a lot out of me, physically. Yesterday, I actually had chest pains from the accumulated stress and the blow up. I lost my job finally. Losing controll is not a thing I think you would normally do. Family issues are the worst, because love is involved. Your normal... if you didnt examine why you feel like exploding... youd be a fire cracker.... which Im sure you are not.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:32 pm

weeder wrote: Bez.... I got angry Friday, after being provoked for weeks. I am a very unconfrontational person. It took a lot out of me, physically. Yesterday, I actually had chest pains from the accumulated stress and the blow up. I lost my job finally. Losing controll is not a thing I think you would normally do. Family issues are the worst, because love is involved. Your normal... if you didnt examine why you feel like exploding... youd be a fire cracker.... which Im sure you are not.

Your right, shes not a firecracker.

Shes a pistol.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 1:48 am

Guys ....as ever you've come up with wise words and thoughts.

One thing I DO know is that I will resolve the issues come what may....it may just take time.

The second thing I know is that I will be 'in control' when I face this stuff.

The third thing is ....being able to vent here and get all your advice and support helps ENORMOUSLY and I just want to say a huge thank you. :-4

Now it's Monday I'm more positive....I wonder why these negative things surface at weekends and at holiday times....maybe there is more time to THINK...a dangerous occupation sometimes

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:04 am

Bez wrote: Guys ....as ever you've come up with wise words and thoughts.

One thing I DO know is that I will resolve the issues come what may....it may just take time.

The second thing I know is that I will be 'in control' when I face this stuff.

The third thing is ....being able to vent here and get all your advice and support helps ENORMOUSLY and I just want to say a huge thank you. :-4

Now it's Monday I'm more positive....I wonder why these negative things surface at weekends and at holiday times....maybe there is more time to THINK...a dangerous occupation sometimes

Swinging in for late check in today, but Bez I was going to say, come on and bounce it off us FG members you know we got loads of support for ya. Some times it just takes stepping out of your personality that will shake your family into place. So happy to hear you are feeling a bit better. But think over everything, write things down on how you feel, what you want to say etc and go and deal with that dern family. I wish you luck my dear.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:44 pm

minks wrote: Swinging in for late check in today, but Bez I was going to say, come on and bounce it off us FG members you know we got loads of support for ya. Some times it just takes stepping out of your personality that will shake your family into place. So happy to hear you are feeling a bit better. But think over everything, write things down on how you feel, what you want to say etc and go and deal with that dern family. I wish you luck my dear.

.:-4 .....you always make me sooo glad I found FG Minks :-6

I'm Bored · Post by **I'm Bored** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:26 pm

Bez, holding in anger is not good for anyone. You have to let your feelings out in a healthy way or you will find yourself getting sick. Physically and emotionally. I know this 1st hand. Come over to FG and just vent it all out. If your family is causing you to have alot of anger, you need to communicate with them. They may get angry at first, but without communication anger and misunderstandings only get worse.