making the move

SteveD · Post by **SteveD** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 5:00 pm

Hi everyone, this is all very new.

I`m male, 41, divorced and recentley have started to feel life is slipping away, you know too old and wondering whats left to come.

Now this younger girl has just started working in the office on a temp` basis and at 30 years old is somewhat younger than me but also single having recently split from a relationship of 3 years or so ( 6 weeks ago). She`s very attractive and people, probably good friends say I`m not so bad either but I never view myself like that. I`m very attracted to her but not sure if she feels the same. I dont want to make a fool of myself by asking her out but I will always wonder what if, if I dont.

Help needed !!!!!!!!

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 5:03 pm

I think you have already decided in your mind what you want and need to do. Go for it!

.......and welcome to FG! :-6

SteveD · Post by **SteveD** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 5:12 pm

Thanks for the quick response, I guess getting knocked back is one of the worst feelings and its maybe easier sometimes to step back. I think it doesnt help being in the workplace either as you`ve still got to go back and if it becomes general knowledge. Um not so good.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 5:14 pm

Hi Steve and welcome to the Garden :-6

I thought life began at forty?!

Go for it, although I would think six weeks is still a realatively short amount of time since her break up, if she says no it will prpbably be because she's just not ready to get back 'out there' again.

Good Luck!

SteveD · Post by **SteveD** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 5:20 pm

Ok I thinkI know what to do, just have to pluck up enough courage.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Bye for now

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:04 pm

Hi Steve, welcome to FG!:)

Saffron · Post by **Saffron** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:39 pm

Just ask her to lunch for coffee. Not like on a "date". Maybe if there is a company cafeteria. I used to be a temp worker, and believe me, it was nice to have someone ask me or befriend me at a company. Temping sucks, so just be her friend and she will be glad. :-6

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:41 pm

My husband is 13 years younger then me. Age is nothing but a number!

I agree with Saffron - lunch is a great way to start! No romantic expectations, just two people chatting about whatever.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:42 pm

flopstock wrote: Tell that to steve..lol

Girl, my guy is 8 years younger then i am.. my point to steve is that he won't be doing her any favors taking an attitude that his life is basically over but for the lazy boy and expecting her to jumpstart it.

He needs to search himself and discover what he has 'to offer her' that is positive -not look at her as a possible lifeline to his happiness..
Yes, yes, yes, and YES. Excellent, straight forward to-the-point advice as always from Flops. Damn you're a bright lady. :-4

Now Steve, I'm going to tell you my philosophy that all the members here have heard a hundred times before and are probably sick of hearing, but since you're new, they'll cut me some slack.

Regret the things you do, not the things you WISH you'd done. She is, after all, only a person, just like you or I. What's the absolute worst thing that could happen? She says no. Big friggin' deal. At least you won't look back later and say, "Damn, I wish I'd asked that girl out!" Just do it, but like Flops said, don't expect her to change your life. That's too much to ask of anyone.

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:45 pm

Gonna go against the tide and say don't do it. Do you know how long her

temp situation will last? Wait until after she moves on to a new job.

Workplace affairs d'coeur are great if they work and horrible if they

don't.

Trust me on this one.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 7:48 pm

i'm with Valerie. not at work. could make for recriminations later.(and appropos of nothing, my man is 11 years younger than me :yh_love )

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 8:02 pm

I usually sugges that an age gap of over ten years is trouble. Greater than that gap and the two people begin to have trouble finding a common ground of tastes, movies, music, etc.

But it's less likely when both are older, mature and accepting.

zilile · Post by **zilile** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:46 am

Well it sounds like in a movie,

What i can say about this is that, '' bro take a chance coz life is full of such" what if some one else comes and takes her. that will surelly hart. so just take a chance though i feel 6weeks is too short a time for her to get into another relationship.