ARe Internet Forums Really All That Friendly?

Saffron · Post by **Saffron** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:34 pm

Are internet forums all that friendly? On every single forum I have been participating in, there is so much fighting and flaming. I've found that sometimes it carried over into my real life, and I get into "debates" with people without even realizing it. I need to stop coming to these forums I think. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

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Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:35 pm

Saffron wrote: Are internet forums all that friendly? On every single forum I have been participating in, there is so much fighting and flaming. I've found that sometimes it carried over into my real life, and I get into "debates" with people without even realizing it. I need to stop coming to these forums I think. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Not here.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:39 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: God, I hate you Nomad! The nerve of you giving a comment like that!!

Joking. I love him like a retarded brother.

:-4 :-4 :-4 :-4

Thats the nicest thing youve ever said to me !

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:43 pm

I'd never start flaming around SOME people... they have too many gaseous

emanations...

:yh_sigh :yh_think :yh_nailbi

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 9:55 pm

I think that was a given :rolleyes:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:02 pm

Perhaps you should relax and just enjoy the diversity.

If you choose to debate, try staying detached and logical.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:59 pm

I believe I am as friendly as they come you excreble scum.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:16 pm

Saffron wrote: Are internet forums all that friendly? On every single forum I have been participating in, there is so much fighting and flaming. I've found that sometimes it carried over into my real life, and I get into "debates" with people without even realizing it. I need to stop coming to these forums I think. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

Who cares if they are friendly or not. I don't. I enjoy posting and responding to others posts. I enjoy learning and trying to understand what people think and feel, but I do not seek permanent relationships. I have had insults and criticisms tossed my way on different forums and newsgroups and it bothers me not.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 1:34 am

After a few select and interesting battles here, I have come to the conclusion that people place WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much significance on what goes on in forums. They allow themselves to get worked up, riled up, irritated, frustrated, angry....for what? Because someone 1,000 miles away or more doesn't agree with your point of view? I knew a woman who used to be a regular here who took this place SO seriously, it did spill over into her personal life and she turned into a complete whacko. Or maybe she was always a whacko and it took this to bring it out of her, I don't know.

What I do know is, a LOT of good can come from places like this. There is a lot that can be learned, about topics you're interested in, and about people. I have made at least one true friend here, and when I call someone "friend" it is a big deal.

Don't stop coming, just don't let what goes on here rule your life.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 4:08 am

I dont fight here. I dont fight in real life either. I might throw a comment into the ring now and then.. thinking it might stop the chaos. Perhaps make people listen to themselves. I debated issues when I was younger. My big mission was womens rights. You realize, as you grow that people think what they think. Fighting takes too much energy. Avoid zealots, and angry people, in all places.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 4:11 am

mrsK wrote: I am here to get to know different people .

If I make freindships so be it if not ,it doesn't worry me all that much .If someone doesn't like me I am not going to get upset about it.

That is their problem not mine.

I just come here for the great company , stimulating & funny conversations:-6

Is that possible?

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 4:30 am

I can't understand anyone taking things said here personally-although occasionally an inoccuous remark gets taken the wrong way because someone is looking for it to be personal or sometimes cultural differences kick in and a joke or **** take gets misunderstood in its intent.

The ones looking for conflict or wanting to score cheap points to make them feelbetter about their sad lives will try that anywhere.

Realistically it's not what is said but how you decide to react to it that matters. Who cares if someone is deliberately offensive? deny them the satisfaction of a response in kind and they go away.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 6:32 am

BabyRider wrote: After a few select and interesting battles here, I have come to the conclusion that people place WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much significance on what goes on in forums. They allow themselves to get worked up, riled up, irritated, frustrated, angry....for what? Because someone 1,000 miles away or more doesn't agree with your point of view? What I do know is, a LOT of good can come from places like this. There is a lot that can be learned, about topics you're interested in, and about people. Don't stop coming, just don't let what goes on here rule your life.

weeder wrote: I dont fight here. I dont fight in real life either. I might throw a comment into the ring now and then.. thinking it might stop the chaos. Perhaps make people listen to themselves. You realize, as you grow that people think what they think. Fighting takes too much energy. Avoid zealots, and angry people, in all places.

I think people need likeminded people to talk to. If you cant find that at work or at home, but can find it online, then thats a wonderful thing. I love that this forum is so very friendly, with a few flareups to add a little spice. I love that there are lots of members and lots of viewpoints. I especially love that there are members from so many different nations as you learn so much about other peoples way of life .....and just about the ordinary everyday things in their lives and their culture.

Forums can so easily become like family, I certainly talk to you guys WAY more than I talk to my own family.....and I get along better with you too! hehe :wah:

I agree with BR also. Too much significance CAN be placed on the opinion of a stranger, wherever they live. But then, as part of a 'family' that is understandable. I also agree with weeder. Add comments. Try to calm chaos when it goes a little overboard. Take the stuff you don't like with a pinch of salt. Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you don't agree. Life's too short to get upset and angry over minor details, or a topic that will be gone by tomorrow but leave you upset and angry for ages. Enjoy the good stuff. I've never known a forum whose members are so kind and helpful when you need a hug. And it may seem stupid if you've not yet received that *virtual* hug, but it really and honestly helps you feel better when you're feeling down.

Its also nice to be able to discuss things that you perhaps cant or wont bring up with your friends or family. Forums are a goodway to chat to others who are on your own wavelength - which is actually a very hard thing to find. This is certainly the best and friendliest forum I've ever been on!

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:09 am

Although I am fairly new here,I am a vet of many boards and i have been banned for my outspokenness and my honesty.I enjoy speaking with many people and and I enjoy the fact that this one is international.I am for the most part a home body and i like too get face time on my PC and this one of the best ways too do it.I like too get input from different people about subjects that i might feel strong about.I am always open minded too what you think,I want too listen and it perhaps can me a better person.I came on the suggestion of a person who used too be here and was very unhappy.She told me what too expect and bad i was gonna be treated.But i see no evidence of any such foolishness.She had so really awful things too say about some of you and I don't find that at all.I happen to like the maturity here and I like the diverse subject matter,there is always something too comment on.Although I do tend too follow the "If you don't have anything nice too say,then don't say anything at all"rule because some times I can be very harsh and be very abrasive,so sometimes I make enemies of my friends even thought I mean well.Not every one can handle the truth.I have learned from past experience that some places have a "click" that you must not upset,the squeaky wheel gets the grease but it also the first one too be replaced.But All in all I find these boards entertaining and thoughtful as well as go place too express yourself and get things off your chest too get a different point of view on something that you might not have even thought of before.I look forward too being welcomed here and my thoughts validated as a person.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:20 am

hi Shweet...i know who sent you here, and why. i'm glad you've found FG to be a good place, it is.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:21 am

mrsK wrote: I am here to get to know different people .

If I make freindships so be it if not ,it doesn't worry me all that much .If someone doesn't like me I am not going to get upset about it.

That is their problem not mine.

I just come here for the great company , stimulating & funny conversations:-6

What she said!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:35 am

I try not to post in anger. If a post has me seeing red, sometimes I wait a few minutes, a few hours, and in some cases a few days before I respond.

Personally, there are times when there is so much bickering going on here, I think if today was the first day I saw this place, I'd never come back. Other times it is a wonderful place. As in real life, there are some people you just don't like and others who you just want to grab up and hug.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:37 am

Your all bastards !

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:48 am

Nomad wrote: Your all bastards !
Oh....

okay then......

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:51 am

Lil~Basco wrote: Oh....

okay then......

Oh sure !

Make me look bad now...

I love you guys

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:53 am

Nomad wrote: Oh sure !

Make me look bad now...

[/SIZE

I love you guys

Really????? :-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 7:55 am

Lil~Basco wrote: Really????? :-4

Your the mostest ! :-4

Post by **spot** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:07 am

Saffron wrote: Are internet forums all that friendly? On every single forum I have been participating in, there is so much fighting and flaming. I've found that sometimes it carried over into my real life, and I get into "debates" with people without even realizing it. I need to stop coming to these forums I think. Has anyone else ever felt this way?There are threads, Saffron. Some of them attract flamers and fighters, some of them don't. There's also the "ignore" option for posters who really mess with your equanimity, and using that quietens the aggression two ways - they get less aggressive if they're not needled, and you don't see enough to feel obliged to prod them into action. Being on someone's ignore list makes the whole forum experience a lot more enjoyable, that might be a solution if your problem's tied to one or two people here rather than the ambience in general.

As to wanting to leave because of the way it spills over into your own behavior, yes I can see that as a possible reason. If it's truly making you less personable then you should think about it. A saint turning up here and subsequently losing his patience in the flesh should be troubled. I've no idea how saintly you are.

What you get, if you can tolerate it, is the cheapest form of two-way socializing ever created. You exchange ideas with people you'd positively avoid if they lived anywhere near you. Your thinking improves, you get more creative, you even type better afterwards. And you get to see Galbally in action... "I believe I am as friendly as they come you excreble scum" has improved my day wonderfully.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:10 am

spot wrote: There are threads, Saffron. Some of them attract flamers and fighters, some of them don't. There's also the "ignore" option for posters who really mess with your equanimity, and using that quietens the aggression two ways - they get less aggressive if they're not needled, and you don't see enough to feel obliged to prod them into action. Being on someone's ignore list makes the whole forum experience a lot more enjoyable, that might be a solution if your problem's tied to one or two people here rather than the ambience in general.

As to wanting to leave because of the way it spills over into your own behavior, yes I can see that as a possible reason. If it's truly making you less personable then you should think about it. A saint turning up here and subsequently losing his patience in the flesh should be troubled. I've no idea how saintly you are.

What you get, if you can tolerate it, is the cheapest form of two-way socializing ever created. You exchange ideas with people you'd positively avoid if they lived anywhere near you. Your thinking improves, you get more creative, you even type better afterwards. And you get to see Galbally in action... "I believe I am as friendly as they come you excreble scum" has improved my day wonderfully.

You flamethrowing bastard.

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:10 am

Nomad wrote: Your the mostest ! :-4
Golly gee Nomad......

*right back at you*

When I bake tomorrow....what shall I make in honor of our friendship? I'll be glad to tell you how wonderful it tasted........:p

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:12 am

Lil~Basco wrote: Golly gee Nomad......

*right back at you*

When I bake tomorrow....what shall I make in honor of our friendship? I'll be glad to tell you how wonderful it tasted........:p

Why do you hurt me this way ?

All Ive ever wanted is to love you yet you persist in tormenting me.

Why pepper why ?

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:16 am

Nomad wrote: Why do you hurt me this way ?

All Ive ever wanted is to love you yet you persist in tormenting me.

Why pepper why ?
Okay then....

I take it you want me to make something with peppers in it. :-2

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:23 am

Lil~Basco wrote: Okay then....

I take it you want me to make something with peppers in it. :-2

uh huh :sneaky:

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:32 am

Nomad wrote: uh huh :sneaky:
Think we should take this to PM'ing.......:sneaky:

I'll get back to you later sweetie......

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:38 am

Saffron wrote: Are internet forums all that friendly? On every single forum I have been participating in, there is so much fighting and flaming. I've found that sometimes it carried over into my real life, and I get into "debates" with people without even realizing it. I need to stop coming to these forums I think. Has anyone else ever felt this way?
I'm all about accountability (duh) and taking resonsibility for your actions. If every single forum that I visited was fighting - especially if many of the members love the place - I would look to myself to see how much responsibility I had for all the conflict.

Maybe you're right. Maybe you need to stop coming to these forums, at least until you get it hashed out.

Good luck with that.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:45 am

before i came here i was on Court TV forums. i was happy there, it was all crimes and trials. but during the scott peterson case it descended into such mindless viciousness i had to leave. admin had to keep closing threads. i found FG when it was new, asked admin for a crimes and trials and amber alert forum, and they implemented it right away. i have felt very at home here since.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:47 am

lady cop wrote: hi Shweet...i know who sent you here, and why. I'm glad you've found FG to be a good place, it is.

Cool,I'm glad you know how I got here.I thought it odd that they prompted me too come on with certain names just too start trouble.I started smelling a rat right quick.They have since blew me off because I would not due there bidding.But now I have you all and I am free.Sweet Lord almighty I am free.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:49 am

Shweet tatersalad wrote: Cool,I'm glad you know how I got here.I thought it odd that they prompted me too come on with certain names just too start trouble.I started smelling a rat right quick.They have since blew me off because I would not due there bidding.But now I have you all and I am free.Sweet Lord almighty I am free.
:wah:

All that was before my time, so I'm always at a loss when her name comes up.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:55 am

Shweet tatersalad wrote: Cool,I'm glad you know how I got here.I thought it odd that they prompted me too come on with certain names just too start trouble.I started smelling a rat right quick.They have since blew me off because I would not due there bidding.But now I have you all and I am free.Sweet Lord almighty I am free.yes, mental illness is a tragedy. she thought she could manipulate you. but that's tough to do when you're face-down in a cattle trough. :wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:10 am

yes, mental illness is a tragedy.

I think I see where your going with this.

Can we just not go there ?

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:12 am

SnoozeControl wrote: :-2

Getting colder

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:13 am

If some one can please pm me and tell me what her name was here I would be very greatfull or can I not veiw her posts?

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:13 am

I just try to mind my p's and q's and have fun.

I'm home all day with my kids, so I enjoy forums because I can have a conversation with someone older than 5.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:16 am

Shweet tatersalad wrote: If some one can please pm me and tell me what her name was here I would be very greatfull or can I not veiw her posts?her posts are no longer available to read. she was crazier than a bag of frogs.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:38 am

lady cop wrote: her posts are no longer available to read. she was crazier than a bag of frogs.
Ancient shamans used to use bags of frogs to predict future events and cure gout. Who's crazy now, eh?

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:16 am

Nothing going on here move right along folks

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:55 am

Around here there are two kinds of threads:

Fluffy and non-fluffy. In the fluffy threads like "Bothwell's" and "Random thoughts", it's commonly agreed-upon etiquette that there is no fighting or flaming.

In the non-fluffy threads like "Gay Marriage" and "Should We Attack Iran?" It's been well understood that, excepting personal attacks, anything goes. Tombstone and Anastrophe have both stated that they think a forum should iclude all opinions, even controversial or unpopular ones.

So it's up to you to determine just how much you want to "get into it" with other members.

Don't like tough, vocal debates?

Stay out of the religious and political threads.

Don't like friendly banter and meaningless diversion?

Stay out of the General Chit Chat threads.

Like it all? Go for it.

:D

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:08 pm

Jives wrote: Around here there are two kinds of threads:

Fluffy and non-fluffy. In the fluffy threads like "Bothwell's" and "Random thoughts", it's commonly agreed-upon etiquette that there is no fighting or flaming.

In the non-fluffy threads like "Gay Marriage" and "Should We Attack Iran?" It's been well understood that, excepting personal attacks, anything goes. Tombstone and Anastrophe have both stated that they think a forum should iclude all opinions, even controversial or unpopular ones.

So it's up to you to determine just how much you want to "get into it" with other members.

Don't like tough, vocal debates?

Stay out of the religious and political threads.

Don't like friendly banter and meaningless diversion?

Stay out of the General Chit Chat threads.

Like it all? Go for it.

:D

Very well put!

I don't like dealing with fighting, drama, etc. it affects my sunny-ness!:D So I stay away from that stuff!

I'll take fluffy threads any day!

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:18 pm

lady cop wrote: her posts are no longer available to read. she was crazier than a bag of frogs.

OK ,nuff said,I will drop it.I have bumped into her on more than one site and it gets creepy.And she still lurks in here,she told me so.

But now it's time too move on.Hope that I can be worthy of your trust:yh_worshp

Saffron · Post by **Saffron** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 8:19 pm

Thanks everyone, for the replies. I am really going to try and focus more on my real life. And take some of the advice I got from this thread.

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