New Investment Terms
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:08 am
Here are some New Age Corporate and Investment terms:
CEO
chief embezzlement officer.
CFO
corporate fraud officer.
P/E
parole entitlement.
EPS
eventual prison sentence.
BULL MARKET
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET
A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
MOMENTUM INVESTING
The fine art of buying high and selling low.
VALUE INVESTING
The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E RATIO
The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
STANDARD & POOR
Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST
Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
MARKET CORRECTION
The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW
The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
Someone who has owned equities for the last two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital.
CEO
chief embezzlement officer.
CFO
corporate fraud officer.
P/E
parole entitlement.
EPS
eventual prison sentence.
BULL MARKET
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET
A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
MOMENTUM INVESTING
The fine art of buying high and selling low.
VALUE INVESTING
The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E RATIO
The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
STANDARD & POOR
Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST
Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
MARKET CORRECTION
The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW
The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
Someone who has owned equities for the last two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital.