New Investment Terms

[Accountable]

Here are some New Age Corporate and Investment terms:

CEO

chief embezzlement officer.



CFO

corporate fraud officer.



P/E

parole entitlement.



EPS

eventual prison sentence.



BULL MARKET

A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.



BEAR MARKET

A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.



MOMENTUM INVESTING

The fine art of buying high and selling low.



VALUE INVESTING

The art of buying low and selling lower



P/E RATIO

The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.



STANDARD & POOR

Your life in a nutshell.



STOCK ANALYST

Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



MARKET CORRECTION

The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW

The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR

Someone who has owned equities for the last two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital.

[OpenMind]

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

Pretty accurate.