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Uncle Kram
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Post by Uncle Kram »

I may be an Agony Uncle to those in the upper echelons of Tamworths elite, but if you're looking for good advice, I'm not your man.

Please refer to the unimpeachable wisdom offered by Far, BR, LC, Nomad, Galbally, Accountable, or for homework issues, Chonsi.

If you have no problems and nothing to ask, you've come to the right place. Any questions, please hesitate to contact me

Glad to have not been of assistance. :D ;)


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AussiePam
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Post by AussiePam »

Rotfl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by lady cop »

why is it raining here for the first time in 9 weeks? and why can't i sleep? :p
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Post by chrisb84uk »

Uncle Kram wrote: I may be an Agony Uncle to those in the upper echelons of Tamworths elite, but if you're looking for good advice, I'm not your man.

Please refer to the unimpeachable wisdom offered by Far, BR, LC, Nomad, Galbally, Accountable, or for homework issues, Chonsi.

If you have no problems and nothing to ask, you've come to the right place. Any questions, please hesitate to contact me

Glad to have not been of assistance. :D ;)


That has to be the kindest offer I have ever seen. :wah:
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Post by Uncle Kram »

lady cop wrote: why is it raining here for the first time in 9 weeks? and why can't i sleep? :p


Physician heal thyself .......and stop singing


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jennyswan
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Post by jennyswan »

What is your biggest love and would you sell your soul for £3,000,000?
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Post by Uncle Kram »

jennyswan wrote: What is your biggest love and would you sell your soul for £3,000,000?


The closest confidantes in my Inner Circle are my biggest love, and I'd sell my soul for a lot less than that.

Having said that, 3 mill would be great. Imagine how many Green Shield stamps you'd get :thinking:

How did you arrive at this arbitary figure?


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Post by sunny104 »

Why do hot dog companies have to use so many ingredients???:yh_sick

Where the package says: Made with pork, beef, turkey, chicken and armadillo
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Post by sunny104 »

SnoozeControl wrote: Uncle Kram, I've been having naughty dreams about an online acquaintance. Does this mean I'm mentally ill?


You said you wouldn't tell!!!!!!!:D
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Post by sunny104 »

SnoozeControl wrote: I'm sorry, sunny... I'm obsessed with you.;)
OK, so we're out of the closet now!:-4 :D
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Post by Nomad »

.

.

.

.

.
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Post by Bez »

Uncle Kram wrote: The closest confidantes in my Inner Circle are my biggest love, and I'd sell my soul for a lot less than that.

Having said that, 3 mill would be great. Imagine how many Green Shield stamps you'd get :thinking:

How did you arrive at this arbitary figure?


Can you still get Green Shield Stamps in Tamworth ? Where do you cash them in ?? :D
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Post by jennyswan »

The closest confidantes in my Inner Circle are my biggest love, and I'd sell my soul for a lot less than that.

Having said that, 3 mill would be great. Imagine how many Green Shield stamps you'd get

How did you arrive at this arbitary figure?


That was what I was offered myself :wah:
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Post by Sheryl »

SnoozeControl wrote: Yesssssssssss *groping madly for some boob *

You really shouldn't get me started here... I'm shameless.




Wow I learn something new everyday.:-3
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Post by Sheryl »

Uncle Kram, how can I tell if a melon is of perfect ripeness?
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Post by Sheryl »

No I'm just simply inquiring on how to select the perfect melon at my local grocery. :p
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Post by jennyswan »

Oh my god Sheryl, another boob question!?!


Boobs as big as Melons would be too big!!!

Imagine carrying them around all day :wah:
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Post by Nomad »

jennyswan wrote: Boobs as big as Melons would be too big!!!



Imagine carrying them around all day :wah:




A gentleman would offer to carry them for you.
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Post by Rapunzel »

And you couldn't go jogging...you'd get black eyes!

Shame you can't get zip on ones! Zip on a nice juicy pair towear under a sexy dress on a night out, and small ones for under your work suit, so they don't ruin the line of the material! :wah:
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Post by Nomad »

Rapunzel wrote: And you couldn't go jogging...you'd get black eyes!



Shame you can't get zip on ones! Zip on a nice juicy pair towear under a sexy dress on a night out, and small ones for under your work suit, so they don't ruin the line of the material! :wah:




Zip on breasts ???





Ill need some time to think.
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Sheryl
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Post by Sheryl »

ok rewording my question...



Uncle Kram I'm interested in picking up a couple of canteloupe at the grocery, how do I find the best ones?
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Post by Nomad »

Sheryl wrote: ok rewording my question...





Uncle Kram I'm interested in picking up a couple of canteloupe at the grocery, how do I find the best ones?




Cantaloupe...melons



Twin sons of different mothers.
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Post by jennyswan »

Cantaloupe...melons

Twin sons of different mothers.


Oranges are smaller, but sweeter :sneaky:
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Post by Nomad »

Tangerines are sweeter yet. Looove tangerines !
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Post by Sheryl »

:thinking: Is it gutter day?? I didn't get the memo if it is!!! :p
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Post by Nomad »

Sheryl wrote: :thinking: Is it gutter day?? I didn't get the memo if it is!!! :p




Sheryl.



This is too easy, Ill pass on this one. ;)
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Post by Sheryl »

Nomad wrote: Sheryl.



This is too easy, Ill pass on this one. ;)


Ohh now your saying I'm easy. Sheesh louise!!!!
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Post by jennyswan »

Tangerines are sweeter yet. Looove tangerines !


We are demolishing poor Uncle Krams thread.

Uncle K, do you prefer Melons or Oranges :wah:
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Post by Accountable »

Hi Unc.



When I was in England there was a great store called DIY. How do you pronounce it?!? :-2
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Post by Uncle Kram »

sunny104 wrote: Why do hot dog companies have to use so many ingredients???:yh_sick

Where the package says: Made with pork, beef, turkey, chicken and armadillo


I'm afraid it's the only way to avoid actually putting a hot dog into a hot dog


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Post by jennyswan »

Hey Uncle,

How old were you when you had your first kiss? :-4
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Post by Uncle Kram »

SnoozeControl wrote: Uncle Kram, I've been having naughty dreams about an online acquaintance. Does this mean I'm mentally ill?


Of course not you nutter - When's it coming out on DVD? I like to keep abreast of the latest releases


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Uncle Kram
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Post by Uncle Kram »

Nomad wrote: .

.

.

.

.


My advice to you Nomad is:


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Uncle Kram
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Post by Uncle Kram »

Bez wrote: Can you still get Green Shield Stamps in Tamworth ? :D


Only in Snoozies dream


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Post by Uncle Kram »

Sheryl wrote: Uncle Kram, how can I tell if a melon is of perfect ripeness?


Well Sheryl, I could divulge information given to me by a work colleague about "A friend" of his, alternatively, I could redirect you to the Masturbation thread


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Uncle Kram
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Post by Uncle Kram »

SnoozeControl wrote: Zip on breasts... strap on willy... what's the difference?


You can't stir your tea with zip on breasts


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Post by Uncle Kram »

jennyswan wrote: Oranges are smaller, but sweeter :sneaky:


So true Jenny. I have often wondered why we call an orange an orange, but we don't call a banana a yellow


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Post by Uncle Kram »

jennyswan wrote: We are demolishing poor Uncle Krams thread.

Uncle K, do you prefer Melons or Oranges :wah:


I would have to go for oranges but occasionally I can be tempted by a pink grapefruit;)


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Post by jennyswan »

So true Jenny. I have often wondered why we call an orange an orange, but we don't call a banana a yellow


Good Point there Uncle K.

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Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them?" :driving:
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Post by Uncle Kram »

Accountable wrote: Hi Unc.



When I was in England there was a great store called DIY. How do you pronounce it?!? :-2


I always pronounce it DIY, but my friend on the other hand pronounces it DIY. I hope this is of some assistance :D


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Post by jennyswan »

DIY


Please refer once again to the Masterbation Thread

:lips:
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