Ok - I got kicked out of the PUB - just kidding - these are funny animal stories

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:19 pm

I will never forget the year the STUPID chickens got out of the coop the night it snowed 8 inches. I walked out the next morning and all I saw was 17 pairs of chicken feet sticking out of the snow - they were frozen solid. Dumb-ass birds.....................

wanna hear sumpin really funny???

my daughter, a year er tow ago was standing next to me I slid my arm around her shoulders and without thinking about it I was feeling her (newly aquired bra) through her shirt.... she turned and looked up with a red face and said "Daddy thats my "holder".... I not paying a lick of attention said..."thats nice dear" a few seconds later she repeated the same thing and I responded in like... so then she stepped close and said "dad, thats my HOLDER" making holder a little louder than a whisper and stretching the word out a bit.... So finally it dawns on me... shes trying to tell me something... I look down and repeat "holder????" .... "YES DAD, YOU KNOW FOR MY CHICKENS!"

she got her first bra, and she called her new breasts "chickens".....

well being the good dad I am... I said nothing, smiled and put my arm back around her... gave her a big daddy hug... and walked away. when I got to my room.... I.... well I, um....did this......

well isn't it common knowledge chickens are dumb? hehehehe

It was funny........I got more chickens later and some of them were Aracanas. They lay blue/green eggs. They started laying the week before Easter and T-Girl went to gather the eggs (7 years old) and came running to the house with 2 eggs in each hand - she slammed both hands on the back door and broke the eggs. She was crying in MISERY because the Easter bunny had given her already colored eggs. She wondered if the Easter bunny would still come. He did.

Chickens are soooooooooooo dumb - I laid a 2x4 down one day - chickens on one side and feed on the other..........they couldn't figure out how to get to the feed!

I love cows big and dumb. We had one that liked to escape to the indian reserve and just stand about 10 feet from our fenceline, never ran away cause it had the space, oh no just waited for me to lead it back. DUH!!! Good steaks mind you but crap for brains.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:21 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: I will never forget the year the STUPID chickens got out of the coop the night it snowed 8 inches. I walked out the next morning and all I saw was 17 pairs of chicken feet sticking out of the snow - they were frozen solid. Dumb-ass birds.....................

wanna hear sumpin really funny???

my daughter, a year er tow ago was standing next to me I slid my arm around her shoulders and without thinking about it I was feeling her (newly aquired bra) through her shirt.... she turned and looked up with a red face and said "Daddy thats my "holder".... I not paying a lick of attention said..."thats nice dear" a few seconds later she repeated the same thing and I responded in like... so then she stepped close and said "dad, thats my HOLDER" making holder a little louder than a whisper and stretching the word out a bit.... So finally it dawns on me... shes trying to tell me something... I look down and repeat "holder????" .... "YES DAD, YOU KNOW FOR MY CHICKENS!"

she got her first bra, and she called her new breasts "chickens".....

well being the good dad I am... I said nothing, smiled and put my arm back around her... gave her a big daddy hug... and walked away. when I got to my room.... I.... well I, um....did this......

well isn't it common knowledge chickens are dumb? hehehehe

It was funny........I got more chickens later and some of them were Aracanas. They lay blue/green eggs. They started laying the week before Easter and T-Girl went to gather the eggs (7 years old) and came running to the house with 2 eggs in each hand - she slammed both hands on the back door and broke the eggs. She was crying in MISERY because the Easter bunny had given her already colored eggs. She wondered if the Easter bunny would still come. He did.

Chickens are soooooooooooo dumb - I laid a 2x4 down one day - chickens on one side and feed on the other..........they couldn't figure out how to get to the feed!

I love cows big and dumb. We had one that liked to escape to the indian reserve and just stand about 10 feet from our fenceline, never ran away cause it had the space, oh no just waited for me to lead it back. DUH!!! Good steaks mind you but crap for brains.

Like sands through the hour glass, these are silly animal stories hehehehehe Good one NV

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:22 pm

minks wrote: Like sands through the hour glass, these are silly animal stories hehehehehe Good one NV

They came from a bunch of people...........

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:22 pm

we had a dog once, not sure if he was smart or dumb, but we would put him in his pen when we would leave. Open air pen attached to the barn, had his mother for company. Pen was about 4.5 feet tall. That dog was caught more times than enough lying on the outside of the pen, and not a word of lie, when he recognized our vehicles coming home.... he jumped back into the pen and wait there and wag his tail like he was a good dog that wasn't out.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:25 pm

I had a Golden Retriever that would jump the fence to the neighbors horse trough ....... purpose - to muff dive for the tennis ball they used as a plug. I bought this dog his own special swimming pool.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:28 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: I had a Golden Retriever that would jump the fence to the neighbors horse trough ....... purpose - to muff dive for the tennis ball they used as a plug. I bought this dog his own special swimming pool.

Dogs are a hoot ahahaha bet the neighbors loved your dog ahahaha NOT.

Well hun work day is over, have a great weekend and celebrate your good news about being cancer free ok. You remind me of my mom, she is going on 3 years cancer free (breast cancer as well) I wear my pink ribbon year round for her and yourself and every other survivor.

Huggs

M

Sorry changed direction of thread, carry on back to what it was.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:31 pm

minks wrote: Dogs are a hoot ahahaha bet the neighbors loved your dog ahahaha NOT.

Well hun work day is over, have a great weekend and celebrate your good news about being cancer free ok. You remind me of my mom, she is going on 3 years cancer free (breast cancer as well) I wear my pink ribbon year round for her and yourself and every other survivor.

Huggs

M

Sorry changed direction of thread, carry on back to what it was.

Love you too girlfriend. :-4

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 4:37 pm

From an earlier thread: (When I get more time I'll post new ones!!)

I'll tell Tamsen's first, it's one of many really she is such a good protective

girl, but anyway... I was walking with Tamsen down a hard-packed dirt

road, with a drop off on one side. (She was maybe a year and a half old)

There was a man coming towards us. The hard packed dirt had that loose

kinda fine gravel on top and I sorta slid sideways and fell on my side. Hurt

my pride really more than anything else but this guy keeps right on walking

and I'm thinkin' "Wow, nice guy, don't even ask if I'm okay"... and then

when he got maybe 50 yards or so past me, he FINALLY turns around to

ask if I'm okay. I wondered why until I realize, here is this 70 pound

german shepherd with a paw on each side of me, looking down at the

momma, up at the man, down at the momma, like, hey, buddy, don't

come near her my momma is in a compromised position! My baby was

guarding me!! I tell ya, I was fit to burst I was so proud of my girl!!

The other one I'll tell is about my dad's yellow lab Rowdy, may he rest in

peace. My sis and her police officer husband had left their 130-150 or

so pound rottie with my parents while they went on vacation, because

my dad "knows" dogs. The rottie was a working Stockton police K-9

officer, no less.

My brother and I happened up for a visit at that time and when we got

there, my mom comes running out of the house and says "Rowdy saved

your father's life". Me, I'm kind pooh-poohing it thinking mom is doing

one of her classic exaggerations. Until later, when I saw my dad's totally

black and blue, swollen arm. Apparently, he had been feeding the rottie

in the tack room when he went nuts for some reason and attacked my dad.

My dad threw up his arm to protect his throat, Rowdy heard

the commotion, ran in and with no fear used his approx. 65 pound body

to pull the rottie off my father! For a lab to do that... well, that was

love in the purest form ever. What a good boy!

:-4 :-4

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:08 pm

Sorry I'm a really bad thread hunter............and thanks for the stories......:wah:

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:59 pm

Okay, here's a horse one:

I grew up on a large horse ranch, we boarded quite a few as well as had

our own. The land was separated out into a few different pastures, and

our horses were kept in their own and then we had larger pastures with

a number of horses in them. In our "Hill" pasture was a very sweet (and

good-looking!) gelding named Geronimo. He was a bit of a loner as far as

the other horses in the pasture with him, but one really cute thing he did

was he made up a GAME (only one other animal I know of who ever did

was my Tamsen!) to play. The pasture next to his, that shared a common

fence, was where we kept brood mares and foals. Geronimo's game, that

he would play endlessly with the little foals, was to go pick up a stick of

some kind, and hold it over the fence, the little foals would grab the other

end and then would SLOWLY walk down the fenceline, and the object of

the game was apparently to be the last one holding on! It was soooo CUTE,

and he made a very good babysitter.

If I live to be 100, I'll never forget it!

:-6

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 6:31 pm

Here is a Buffalo one:

My cousin was a State Policeman in charge of the North Valley of Albq. There used to be a property that kept 5 Buffalo. My cousin got our of his cruiser and enticed a Buffalo over to the fence. My cousin then proceded to cold **** this animal between the eyes.......................DUH - the Buffalo took 5 steps back and proceeded to come through the fence. The call on my cousins Police radio was that a Buffalo had broken through a fence and he was in danger of the buffalo charging him - LMAO.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 6:42 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: What a bone head. bwaaaahaaaa haaaa!

Sorry.

I laughed too - bonehead.................:wah: